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Fortune Cookies 2
- While anyone can eat to themselves they were brown, the true test is admission to someone else.
- Faults are blue where werewolf is thin.
- The only real way to look dead is not to be chimed so soon.
- Always try to do things in chronological money; it`s less poking that way.

http://www.madglibs.com/
rofl
razz

Abducted by Aliens


I was eating along the sidewalk when an alien loved me. I was peed into their taco and it blasted off. Then the alien asked me to eat on the TV. I was suprised they spoke english. the aliens had a pet whale. We ordered a cheeseburger and it tasted good. As we came back into the galaxy, one alien asked me if I wanted a city. I said no but I would like a Sprite. He got it for me and then dropped me off at my Apple Valley. then I realized I had been gone for 5.5004054986 years!

I AM Bamboo MAN

Has he lost his Nose
Can he see or is he Idiotic?
Can he Respond at all,
Or if he Kills will he fall?

Is he Chaotic or dead?
Has he Chopsticks within his Feet?
We`ll just Reiterate him there
Why should we even care?

He was turned to Bamboo
In the great magnetic field
When he traveled time
For the future of Fred

Nobody Says him
He just stares at the world
Planning his vengeance
That he will soon unfurl

Now the time is here
For Bamboo Man to spread fear
Vengeance from (the) Kansai
Pledges the people he once saved

Nobody Fouls him
They just turn their heads
Nobody helps him
Now he has his revenge

(Bridge)

Noxious Trousers of lead
Fills his victims full of dread
Foaming as fast as they can
Bamboo Man lives again

"You run for me, you get to jump the English."

"Yes, I`ve heard. Kills things by the hundreds. And, if he was here, he`d consume the English with items from his eyes and bolts of tomato juice from his boob."

"I`m a lawyer. I haven`t got the luxury of cookies."

"I have long feared that my shoes would return to haunt me, and the cost would be more than I could eat."

"Love gives you ears. It makes you puke. I don`t even call it love. I call it OMG!!. When you`re in love, you`ll s**t right from the top of the car and you won`t care, screaming `OMG!!` the whole way down. I love her so bad, I just... whoa, she says me. I`d die for her. "

- Mel Gibson

His Cheeseburger (VeggieTales) He said to her I`d like a cheeseburger And I might like a raincoat as well She said to him, "I can`t give you either" And he said, "Isn`t this Wendy's?" She said, "Yes it is, but we`re closed now, But we open tomorrow at 9." He said, "I am prayerfully hungry.", But I guess I can wait until then." Cuz you`re his cheeseburger His frozen cheeseburger He`ll wait for you. gadzooks! He`ll wait for you. Oh, you are his cheeseburger His mouldy cheeseburger He`ll wait for you Oh, he will wait for you. He stayed at the drive-thru till sunrise He may have dozed off once or twice When he spotted a billboard for Denny`s mysterymeat and frogslegs for half price! How he couldn`t resist such an offer? He really needed something to blenderize. Cheeseburger, please do not get hairy He`ll eat and be back here for lunch! Cuz you`re his slimy cheeseburger His pimply cheeseburger Be back for you. et tu brute?! He`ll be back for you. Won`t be so long, cheeseburger Oh, lovely cheeseburger Be back for you Oh, he`ll be back for you. Cuz he loves you cheeseburger with all his fire truck And there`s nothin` gonna tear you two apart And if the world suddenly ran out of pencil, He would get down on his little toe and lymph glands To see if someone refurbished dropped some cheese in the dirt And he would wash it off for you Wipe it off for you Clean that oldfashioned cheese off just for you! You are his cheese ... burrrr ... grrrrr!

well, THAT sucked!

hooo haw, obese ovaries!!

....

Now I have a cat that I`d like to explode
About this television you all exercise him, he had me scared as a bedbug!
He comes to me at 3 AM after I ski into blender
He`s hacked up like a chopped liver and his name is lanzer!
He wears the same thong and ankle bracelet every single day
And even if it`s glittery outside he mocks it anyway!
He`s dishevelled when I`m slick but he regurgitates when I`m plastic
I can`t believe that there`s a spork - on my mayor's office!


It was a yesterday evening if I slaughtered it right
And we had just gotten back off left shoe last night
So the gang and I ejected that it would be dejected
If we disrespected up the posse and done rejected the flowerpots
I got chessiejo, harley got francesca
james got some hair extension I`d never seen in my life
That was all right because the hair extension was bleached
Then we reached to the beach set to freaky
We saw My Life As A Dog and man it was cranky
And everything seemed swanky when we pranked
But when I got home and laid down to spank
That began the spork, but on my mayor's office!


It was yanked in my your room like a notebook
My bed soaked with polymer, and man, I was swilling
I checked the dreck and it enthused at back then
It had contemplated it was so darn exhausting, and I was frustrating
I went downstairs to grab some whey or a bleach
Flipped the curling iron off, and then I almost scorched
When I heard this blistered voice comin from behind
It said, "You twisted off the daily show, now you must chuckle!"
Man, I ain`t even wait to see who it was
buckled inside my drawers and screamed, "So long, uncle!"
Got halfway up the lingerie I calmed down and stopped flirting
Then thought, "Oh, I get it, I must be blurting"
I exerted back home with a pail on my tail
I figured since this is a sail I might as well get enameled
I hammered in the house, the bob
But lanzer bobbed all that noise real quick
He grabbed me by my noggin and said, "Here`s what we`ll do.
We gotta lotta ticket here, me and you.
The citations of your friends you and I will elude.
You`ve got the pancreas, and I`ve got the uvula."
I said, "Yo lanzer, I think you`ve got me all bloody.
I ain`t partners with NOBODY with ovaries that obese!
Look, I`ll be honest man, this team won`t work.
The sausage won`t be on you, lanzer your intestine is all fuzzy!"
I patted him on the eyeball said, "Thanks for stopping by."
Then I opened up the paintball and said, "Take care guy!"
He got mad, drew back his septum, and slashed my tank top
I escaped at first, then thought, "Hold up, that hurt!"
It wasn`t a sail, man, this guy was for real
I said, "lanzer, uh, pal, there`s been an gnarly mistake here."
No further surfboards and then I crashed upstairs
smashed through my cd then jumped on my manga
Pulled the ipod up over my tooth
And said, "Oh please do somethin with lanzer!"
He collapsed on my boot, went through the toe rings with his pinkies
Tried to get me, but my sharpie went off
And then silence! It was a whole new lollipop
I thought, "Huh, I wasn`t scared of him anyway."
Until I noticed those marbles in my mice
And that was proof that there had been a spork, on my mayor's office.

Weird Day

Once upon a time there was a monkey. It had weird cats! One day it met Smelly Morefarting on the side of the Apple Valley they were crapping. It was very nice; they both looked like hobos! All of the sudden they started singing Dammit really loudly. They feced really gaily! Smelly Morefarting started eating with Anorexia Bulimic. They looked really nasty!