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| Will you give me advice? |
| Yes |
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30% |
[ 8 ] |
| No |
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3% |
[ 1 ] |
| Maybe so. |
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65% |
[ 17 ] |
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| Total Votes : 26 |
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 Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 9:11 pm
OK. So I've been going out with this guy for two months; I love him so much, he probably doesn't even understand the half of it; and yet I'd found him in gay bars talking to the men in there. Sure I'm fine with him talking to gay guys and girls and what not, but I'm scared all the same. I keep on having this feeling that he might just one day leave me for some guy he just met. That, I think, would be the ultimate dis for a girl to get. I've told him how I felt about it, yet he just tells me he would never leave me and that he loves me too much. But what am I supposed to think when I get home from a bad day at work and I read his posts in a gay bar and one of the guy starts to hit on him. Even though he sort of backs away and such, he never actually says, "Sorry man. I've got a girl." or something like that. If he were to say that at least once all my worries would disappear. I know he's shy...but...I don't know what to do. I know I would never leave him, that's just me. But I'd like to get some suggestions on what I should do about this. What should I say to him?
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 9:26 pm
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Posted: Fri Jun 09, 2006 1:08 am
He's queer, dear. Sorry to be so blunt about this, but he's obviously gay, bi, or, at least, questioning. I say this, as an out homosexual, that most straight guys DON'T want to go to gay bars. And, the sad thing is, he does not even know he's gay yet... that's why he does not tell those guys you're his girl friend; you're basically his "cover girl friend".
I know it hurts to be used to cover up some one's homosexuality like that, but it is also hard not to be entirely out of the closet. I know it may even be difficult for you to believe this, but you did describe a young, semi-closeted homosexual. I advise you talk to him openly about this and be supportive... if you really do love him, you will not stop caring about him just because his love dare not speak its name; and, besides, you two will always be great friends, right?
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Posted: Fri Jun 09, 2006 1:20 am
I'd say he's bi, either that or bi curious (being a virgin i won't tap too much into sexuality), but it'd be bad to go to a gay bar and and then say all the same "I have a girlfriend", I'd agree with katsu-san here, if he did want you and enjoyed your company as much as you say he does, he wouldn't be there in the first place
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Posted: Fri Jun 09, 2006 5:51 am
Ok then. I'm kinda glad I got the point of veiw from a couple of guys. Hmmm... I need a muffin...-___-
And yeah. If he would come right out and say it I would be supportive. I am actually very involved with a gay surrounding from family. I would never get mad at him for turning out to be gay. I can't get mad a some one being who they want to be. But I'm pretty sure he's on the questioning side. He always just randomly popps in and talks, never 'interacts'. I just think, that if he's hiding it...then...yeah...He needs to speak up a bit..I'll ask him about it later.
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Posted: Sat Jun 17, 2006 12:10 pm
dont be too harsh about it when you do ask him. like katsuhaiabi said, he prolly doenst realize yet why hes not turning them away. give him some time to think about it. if he loves you, even if it is as a very close friend, he will tell you about it when he feels he is ready and that he has figured everything out for himself.
good luck!
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~ murderd in cold blood ~
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Posted: Thu Sep 28, 2006 12:02 pm
that happened to a freind of mine, but hes over it, if your not sure just ask him
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Posted: Sat Sep 30, 2006 6:56 am
Have you ever talked to him about it? Confronting him always helps, too.
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Posted: Sat Sep 30, 2006 1:21 pm
The best thing you could do is definatly talk to him, but make sure he looks you dead in the eye, so you know if he's telling the truth. (if u talk to him in person that is xD Not a good idea to talk to someone if u have questions over the phone...I learned that the hard way and got very hurt because of it xD)
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Posted: Sat Sep 30, 2006 5:26 pm
My advice to you: If you are still insecure, then as some of the others have already said, talk to him. Be up front and honest with him as well as yourself on this matter. At the same time, try to be considerate of his feelings along with your own. The truth, whatever it may be, is bound to come out.
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