Kasai - Bold
. . .
Instead of heading home, Aldan head towards the borders. He needed to clear his mind of the events from before. However, if he was actually thinking straight, he would have realized the further he went away from a seer of god, his 'little problem' would start.
Aldan had always had headaches when he was younger. As he has grown, they started to worsen, and left him in a state of paralysis as vivid images entered his mind. The images were always the same. Death was happening. However, as he got older, the more dramatic the images became, and he could almost swear he could 'feel' the things happening.
Only when he was around other seers or gods did this affect not happen. It was why he always was with Ayanga or even Runa.
But now. Now Aldan was alone. The small throbbing in his head was nothing compared to the other feelings that were currently running through his veins.
"She will never forgive me." Aldan said quietly, stopping just short of the border. His eyes closed, the pulse in his brain increasing.
Ciro had told her not to wander alone and the lioness intended to keep that promise, but something had pulled her away from this vow, something far more important. While Ciro had his back turned the lioness waited, inspecting her soundings silently. She had no reason to stray from her guide, that was until the a familiar figure crossed her sights.
"?...." Calmly she turned to stare at Ciro before making the decision to leave his side. It was hard to stay put when she could see Aldan in the distance, as clear as day. He had made himself sparse after everything that had happened and truthfully should couldn't blame him. It wasn't like she going out of her way to talk to him. Still, something felt strange. Why was he heading so far out on his own? Concern sank in and before she knew it her paws had taken her far from Ciro's side, pulling her toward Aldan.
Yorshka would stay as far as she could without being detected, following him like this felt misguided but she wouldn't turn back now. Not when she had so many questions she needed to ask. The pale lioness would keep space between them as she slowly followed Aldan's moments, her coat coverd by the dark pelt she wore.
"Why would she forgive you? After what you did? You deserve to step off of that cliff instead of her trying to?" Aldan found himself snarling to himself. Silently, his mind continued. You let Kristanf use you and look what happened!
Aldan shuddered at the thought, wrapping his paws around his front end. Between the constant bickering in his mind, and the increasing pressure in his brain, he found himself falling to the ground.
His vision blacked as he landed with a thud, soon to be replaced with a land Aldan was unsure he had ever been on.
A shadow was there, pushing at him, clawing at him until he was back against the edge of a cliff. An avian swooped down, to move the other off him? But he couldn't. Aldan felt his foot slip as he fell from the cliff side, watching just as the bird make contact with the shadow's face.
A scream, whether in his vision or in real life, emitted from his throat as he fell. His paws were frantic, trying to grab on to anything to stop his fall. It was useless. He landed on the ground at the base of the cliff with a heavy thump.
Everything hurt. He found himself unable to lift a paw, a tail or even his head. Soon, he found himself choking on a coppery substance, just as a wing shadow entered his line of sight.
Aldan gasped, taking in a breath as the vision of the cliffside faded, and returned back to that of the familiar stormborn. He lay on the ground, heaving, finding the movement in his limbs returning. Still he felt as if he were choking on the coppery substance, greedily trying to suck in as much air as possible.
The worst vision yet, Aldan didn't move from the ground. His eyes wide with panic as he tried to calm his racing nerves and heartbeat.
Though the female had no reason to pity the younger male, her heart ached for Aldan in the same way it ached for her own self. He was a victim too, even if he couldn't understand that yet. If Yorshka could take his misery away she would. This sadly was something the two wouldn't be able to escape from, this wasn't black and white. What transpired between two would forever be a darkness they would have to face or learn to live with. She didn't know what path they would choose or if they would even choose it together.
Her mind raced as she did her best to follow him, stopping only when the younger male fell to the ground, shrieking in agony. Her eyes went wide with bewilderment, he was frantically trashing against the cold ground, his movements felt so uncontrollable. The lioness couldn't tell what was happening and in truth had no idea what had overcome him, all she could do was move.
Her paws carried her to his side as she called out, her voice frenzied.
"Aldan!" What was happening to him? Yorshka had forgotten all about his painful visions due to the trauma she had endured over the last few days. Her voice broke as she cried out again, her left paw moving to grip his shoulder. This was the first time she had touched him like this.
"Aldan, please open your eyes...!" Was this hysteria?
"Please..." Tightly the lioness closed her eyes as she buried her face into his pelt, her body curling beside his as she did her best to comfort him with her presence.
"Come back..." She pleaded with heavy tears.
They were definitely getting worse.
His breath was finally caught, as his head lay on the cool ground. His heart was still racing, as he exhaled. The throbbing pain in his head was now gone, almost instantaneously as Yorshka had raced over.
He was becoming more and more aware of his surroundings. Mainly, the presence of someone curled up next to him, and the strange wetness on his pelt. His eyes were still wide, looking straight forward as his he found his tail lightly flicking the ground. That was a start to him coherent limb use. An ear flickered next, tilting right towards the sobbing lioness.
"Y...Yorshka....?" He said started his head lifting from the ground, now turning towards the lioness. "W...what are you...doing out here?" He felt a shudder in his body, it coming down from the previous adrenaline rush of the vision. He definitely needed to keep a seer by him at all times if this was to be his future. He didn't know if he could take anymore of that.
"You idiot!" She fumed, her tears trickling down her pale face as she lifted her head to face the red-haired lion. This was her first time this close to him after everything that had happened, but her mind wasn't fixated on that, no, right now all she could do was quiver with worry. His movements frightened her. This lack of control was haunting.
"What are you doing out here? You know can't go this far alone!" How could he be so careless? Was this the result of his visions? Her eyes closed tightly as she wrapped her arms around him, her paws pulling him closer to her slender frame.
"What happened?" As quickly as she pulled him in she found herself pushing back, her eyes scanned him for injuries, frantically searching for visible answers. Every time she felt herself become comfortable touching him her mind would jolt and Yorshka would create distance, though this was not intentional.
"... You could have been hurt..." These words came wrapped in sorrow, she was truly worried about him. The lioness quickly pulled the pelt she wore over her shoulder and placed it on him, protecting him from the cold wind.
Aldan winced as she reprimanded him, lifting to a seated position.
He really had no excuse for anything. "I wasn't thinking," he started out. "I mean...I just wanted to clear my head." It evidently was a bad idea, considering his 'little problem' that happened when he was alone. He found it hard to look at the female, even as he was being pulled into an embrace.
What happened? he heard her say, as he was pushed back, eyes still wide, and frame still shaken. "The...the vision?" Aldan assumed was what she referred to. "Someone was....dying...They were pushed..." A tremble as he recollected, his eyes going blank as he stared towards her, as if in a trance. "Someone tried to save them, but...it was too late." A paw went to his throat, imagining it closing up again with blood. Everything else was a blur as the vision had faded.
"Me....hurt?" His attention seemed to focus back to her as she placed the pelt over his shoulder. It held her scent, which, Aldan was finding strangely comforting.
"What about you? Why are you out here by yourself?" He said with a frown, finally looking around at his surroundings.
A vision?" The question was rhetorical, yet apart of her wanted to know why he did this to himself in the first place. The younger male had to know this would happen if he ventured out this far alone. Was he punishing himself? Was he trying to feel something other than misery? The lioness could relate if that was the case. Still though, Aldan was playing with fire. Her pale blue eyes narrowed as she drew back, sitting beside him with some space in between to fill the awkward stillness the air seemed to carry when the two were close.
"That sounds horrific." Her words came followed with a soft frown.
"I can't say I know anything about visions, I just recently had my first..." It was triggered by...
When he spoke Yorshka could only empathize, regardless of the that rift separated the two, apart of her couldn't help it. She wanted to... protect him. Her frame relaxed as she sighed in deeply, sitting in silence for a moment, reasoning with her own logic when he asked his final question. Was she okay? In this moment the pale female had forgotten all about her pain from the days before, was this progress?
"Aldan, I'm okay. I wasn't stuck in a painful vision." Her words were soft, yet something in them felt distant. Was this something she could help?
"Can you remember anything else?" Maybe asking him questions like this would help bring him back down from that freighting place.
Maybe it was a form of Aldan punishing himself. Didn't he deserve it, after all? He felt himself blinking a few times as Yorshka shifted away to be near, if not completely next to him.
He looked away as he stumbled over the next words. "...They are getting worse." His tone was just above a whisper. She would have to strain to hear them. He found his gaze shifting back towards her for a moment. "...You...did?" He said with a frown. Maybe all the anxiety and stress that had occurred in the last few days was her trigger? Taken away from her homelands, being verbally assaulted by a psychopath, .... Aldan shook his head at the other events, closing his eyes quickly to will the images from his mind.
When she asked if he remembered anything else, he just shook his head. "It was dry. Dusty. Not like this land at all." As for the figures, he wasn't sure if he knew them or not. Could visions withhold those you hadn't met yet?
...Or was it possible Aldan's visions correlated with lions he knew. That thought only seemed to put him in a slight panic.
He took a deep breath, eyes focusing on the necklace the female wore. He still found it hard to look the female in the eye after what had happened. And then he remembered what Ciro had said their last meeting. 'You are not to come near her without my consent.' s**t. "...Is...Does Ciro know you are here?"
His descriptions felt lost on her, it wasn't like she could pretend to understand anything he was experiencing, let alone where they could have taken place. The mind was such a dark thing, and it felt like Aldan was trapped in his. This hushed anguish he carried wasn't helping, she could see it drawn clear across his face. This only made her ears sink in sadness. He... he didn't need to suffer, not alone and not like this.
"Aldan..." What could she possibly say? No matter how badly she longed to cure him of his emotional blight the lioness had very litter power here in this place. The past would never be able to be cleansed, so all they could do now was accept the sadness they both felt, face it together and move forward, or they would both surly be swallowed by the shadow that lingered. This suffering was slowly eating away at them both.
"I..." Before the pale female was able to finish her thought his question hit her hard. Ciro hadn't seen her leave to follow Aldan, this.. this wasn't good. Her ears quickly perked up as her eyes went wide with worry.
"No." What else could she say? Her heart started to flutter as she quickly scrambled to her paws, her breathing heavy. Why was she so worried? Maybe she felt guilty about leaving the way she had, what if Ciro was worried? Or worse, what if he was angry with her? He had been her one and only truth friend here, Yorshka couldn't handle the thought of disappointing him.
"We need to go find him."
"No?" did she just say...no? Like, she willingly /left/ the captain's side to follow him here? Did she not know how dangerous that way! His eyes mimicked her size as he shook his head.
"He's going to kill me." Well, he probably wouldn't. He knew the lion to an extent to know he was pretty chill with most things. Surely this was just an...an oversight on his end, right? Nonetheless, Aldan nodded, rising to his shaky feet, the only lasting effect of the vision.
"C'mon. Maybe he is in the same place you left him. You...haven't been gone for long. Maybe he didn't notice..."
Just as Aldan was about to have Yorshka show the way, the dark Captain came out of the treeline, his eyes narrowed. "Oh. I noticed." He said with a frown as he strolled up to the two lions. "What did I tell you?" He first started with Aldan, before turning his attention towards Yorshka. "And what did I tell you?" Ciro would have growled, but he was finding the situation at most a little amusing. So the two couldn't keep away from each other even after what transpired between them.
"Go ahead. Start explaining."
The lioness's face was in bloom and beating with embarrassment. Ciro had followed her and most likely heard everything the two had said to one another in small whispers and familiarity. Her eyes quickly found the ground as she frantically searched for the right words to explain herself.
"I saw Aldan wander off alone, I had to make sure he was okay." The truth was important. She couldn't lie to him after everything he had done for her.
"He has painful visions without another seer with them, I was worried... I'm sorry." The female was firm and apologetic. Living life riddled with guilt was never a life she wanted to live. Her white covered paws sat side by side as she lowered her head in apology. Though she knew Ciro wasn't harsh, this wasn't something she was proud of. The lioness had promised to stay put and hadn't - but she would do it again if Aldan needed her. This was something she knew deep down inside.
What was this? Why?
Her eyes shifted from the darker male as she glanced back at Aldan. Why did she care so much? This whole situation was too confusing. Yorhska could hardly answer any of these internal questions. Why did things have to be so complicated? She felt no anger when the two stood side by side, no hint of disgust or hatred. Was this normal? Softly she gave him a small smile before her eyes moved back to Ciro, who was standing in front of them both.
She felt like a cub being scolded by her mother.
"I see." Ciro's golden eyes shifted towards Aldan, waiting his explanation.
"What she says is true. Although, I came out here to clear my head, normally Aya is with me so things don't get...bad." He looked away from Ciro as his paws shuffled on the ground. "I'm sorry...I should get going. I remember your words very clearly."
Aldan did not need the captain upset with him. Just as he was about to head out, Ciro stopped him.
"Wait." He started, one of his front paws rubbing his temple. Oi, his own kids didn't seem this bad with the sneaking off thing. "I should ground the both of you." He found himself muttering. "However, neither of you are my kin, so that obviously won't work." His paw fell to the ground as he looked at the two lions. At least they seemed...semi-comfortable with each other? Maybe it was time for them to start this process of living together. It was sooner than Ciro had anticipated, but it was needed.
"Aldan." The adolescent glanced at his former captain. "Is your den ready to take Yorshka home with you?" He asked.'
The younger reaver seemed to freeze. Wait. Home with...him? He turned to look at Yorshka, to see her reaction to Ciro's words.
"Not...quite..." He hadn't done anything. He no longer shared a den with his family, having moved on when he ranked up. Still, it was a typical boy's den. A mess! "But...I...can...."
Nodding with semi-approval, Ciro focused on the former pridelander. "Are you prepared to move on?" Ciro wouldn't force the female, and his den would likely always be open should she choose to return temporarily.
This wasn't what she was expecting at all. For a second the female assumed they would penalized to some degree, though she assumed the pride was cold-hearted to the core. Punishment seemed fitting, regardless of the how small the crime or indiscretion. Still, her eyes stayed forced on the darker lion, pinning as he spoke. Yorshka's heart was apprehensive, yet somehow she knew this was going to happen, it was the reality of the situation after all. Her reality.
The lioness did her best to stay composed. She didn't want to seem cowardly.
"Oh..." She paused, listening to Aldan stumble over his own words. Things seemed so awkward still---would this ever change? Or did he not want her around? Was she grotesque now? Unclean? What if he couldn't bring himself to be near her ever again? How was thing going to work? Every question she could possibly fathom seemed race through her distraught mind. Delicately she tilted her body to the side, creating space between herself and the younger male. She was doing it again---making distance without meaning to, this subconscious uneasiness felt like second nature, though it seemed to falter when Aldan was in trouble.
"I wouldn't want to intrude..." The female spoke, nervousness clearly weighing her down. It was hard to tell if Aldan even wanted her to go with him. Maybe he didn't, maybe this was too much. Her eyes turned away from both males. It wasn't like she had other options and staying with Ciro long term wasn't going to be able to happen. Would she be left alone in a pride full of strangers. Kristanf was still a threat.
"I don't think that's up to me completely."
The movement of Yorshka didn't go unnoticed by the Captain. He hummed to himself, nodding slightly. So, even though the two seemed okay with chatting with each other, the idea of sharing a den still caused some tension.
It was to be expected, really. The two lions had only been separated for a few days. Maybe more casual baby steps were needed?
"Intrude?" Ciro laughed.
Aldan also noticed the lioness seeming to move herself away from him. He sighed, giving Ciro a narrow glance. "I don't think..." but then Yorshka made the comment about intruding, and that it wasn't completely up to her. That caused him to look right at her.
"It is your choice." The statement sounded like déjà vu. Aldan had said the same thing to her before the two had become one. The comment made him cringe inwardly.
Yeah, this wasn't going to work. Ciro could tell. He sighed, shaking his head. "Alright you two. This will need to happen soon though. Yorshka, I'll give you a few more days in my den, and then it will be up to Aldan to accept you into his. Unfortunately, if he does not," he found himself pausing, looking directly into Aldan's stare. "You will become a thrall for the pride, open for anyone." The threat wasn't meant for Yorshka, but rather Aldan, who seemed to freeze.
A whirlwind of emotions was going through his mind. God damnit Ciro, Aldan wanted to scream out. But he didn't. "No...I'll...the den will be ready. She..." He looked towards Yorshka, "You, won't become available for anyone to take." He made a promise to protect her.
Aldan reached for his ear, unclipping the silver charm that was connected. On it, a deep orangish red feather he had from his mother. He closed the small gap between himself and the female, transferring the item to her, clasping it on her ear so it hung just like it had on him.
"As long as you wear this, no one can claim you." He turned to look at Ciro, giving him look of approval.
Her blue eyes could only follow his as the male leaned in and clipped his feathered earring onto her ear, the sentiment causing her eyes to water softly under a modest smile. For a moment everything stopped and she could see his face clearly, like the first time they met. Aldan seemed different somehow, even if it was for a split second, she could see it. Her figure shifted as she faced him, speaking out softly.
"I don't care if you are messy." Being brave was daunting.
"I don't care if you don't think it's good enough." She could feel her lower lip quiver in cowardice, though the lioness would stay firm under the wright of her own fears. Yorshka would speak her mind, being forward could sometimes work in her favor. The female hoped this would be one of those times.
"I refuse to live in fear, Aldan. I won't do it." As she spoke she moved a paw to his shoulder, touching him for the first time in min-conversation.
"So I come with you now, or I don't come with you at all, and you can take this feather back." What caused her to say this and act this way was a mystery to even herself, so when it was all said and done she found herself standing in silence, staring him down with wide eyes. The lioness could feel her heart sink as she quickly started to regret her decision to be bold. Yorshka wanted to hide behind Ciro, what had she done?
"I---I just don't want to live like this." She whispered. The pale female didn't want to feel like an afterthought, or a pound of flesh. This needed to be said.
"I'll keep this only if you take me with you. You promised me."
Aldan's ears couldn't help but swivel a top his head as she spoke. She didn't care if he was messy, or not good enough? But he did. This was his fault for putting her through this. This was his fault she was here. It was his fault she no longer held her innocence, even if it was at the paws of someone else that had forced them.
Aldan though this was the least he could do, to let her mind settle if they were to make this work.
But it seemed she had other ideas. He could feel her paw on his shoulder. While he would normally slink away from it, he remained still. A lion who was never one for contact had been thrown in such a personal position where he no longer could apprehend it.
Then she gave the ultimatum. He was silent, her words obviously roaming his brain as he thought about it. Finally, he gazed into her light eyes, darker orbs showing that of understanding.
"Okay. You will come home with me today then." He fully intended to keep that promise he made her.
Ciro watched the exchange between the two, flashing a smile at the boldness, and the agreement. "Then it's settled." He said with a chuckle.
"Why don't you two head home then. I am sure you guys have a lot to talk about?" Ciro asked, giving a look towards Yorshka. She had asked him a lot of questions that he didn't know, and it was only Aldan who would be able to answer.
As Aldan agreed she sighed, her eyes closing for a moment as her mind raced to settle back into a calmer state. Nothing would ever be the same for her, this was a fact she was willing to accept so long as he kept his promise to her. He was the reason the lioness was here after all, and even if she didn't want to admit it he was the cause of a lot of the sadness she felt. If she was ever going to be able to forgive him this needed to happen. Otherwise Yorshka would end up using Ciro as a crutch for as long as she possibly could. He didn't need that extra burden, not when she was capable of changing her own fate.
"Thank you." The grief she once carried seemed to lighten as she gave Ciro a smile before turning back to Aldan. For a moment the pale female felt contented and would do her best to enjoy it while it lasted. Emotions felt so fleeting.
"It'll be alright." Her voice was smooth and more inviting than before.
"We will figure this out together." They had to. If things were ever going to get better for them. This was the next step in healing. Form now on they needed to be honest with one another.
This was the next step in life.