[FIN]{PRP} {Yael} When the Storm Breaks {Ko & Kaleth}

[MissMisnomer]

When the Storm Breaks

It had been a week since their fight.

At first, Ko tried to remain civil, keep up some effort at normality. He'd ask Kal questions when it was necessary, tell him good morning, point things out as they came to him. But as it became clear that Kaleth was not going to be speaking to him at all, those efforts quickly died off. Classes became a welcome relief from the silence. At least everyone else was talking to him.

Well…as much as they usually did. Which was not all that much. He'd developed a bit of a reputation as being…rather odd. The rumors floating around about their fight wasn't helping. Some said Kaleth had broken their desk in a sudden berserk frenzy. Others, that Ko had been possessed by the spirits he'd always talk about, and had tried to suffocate Kal with a pillow.

And still, the more generally accepted of theories, was that Ko had just finally gotten to Kal with his incessant chattering, causing the other boy to snap. Understandable. Kal was known for being short tempered. And Ko was known for being optimistically overbearing. It had always been the question of when, not if, things would implode.

And it looked like they finally had.

None of this was helping Ko's mood in the least. The amount of time he'd spend in their room was as limited as possible, leaving the increasingly toxic environment for safer areas. Sleep could not be avoided, and thus had to be tolerated. But even then, the weight of everything endured, leaving his mind abuzz with all the thoughts and worries crashing around in his cranium, hyper aware of the silence that had once been comforting.

He wasn't sleeping properly.

And with increased exhaustion, came mistakes, and with mistakes, came reprimanding, and with that, came frustration, which led to stress, which led to more anxiety, and less sleep, and more mistakes.

It was a vicious cycle.

And through it all, the hardest thing, what got him the most: was the loneliness of it all.

Ko was used to having noise, all the time, every day. He had 11 older siblings. Someone was always complaining, or laughing, or just…existing around him.

And now.

Now there was no one to talk to. He was alone.

Just like his bed, on this cloudy night. The curfew had long since passed, lights-out across the campus. And still, the tumbled bedding remained vacant.

An assertive knock sank into their door.

[1/10]  

[Miss Chief aka Uke]

Kaleth expected either that Ko would eventually address the issue, or resolve to eternally avoid him as he saw fit. Either way, he told himself he didn’t care. He had done everything he could. He didn’t know what had gotten into the other boy but he had tried to get through to him and clearly Ko wanted nothing to do with it. So, Kal wasn’t going to push it. He had other things to concern himself with. He liked peace and quiet and in many ways, this was his ideal.

He had the room to himself, often. Ko wasn’t babbling on or making trouble. He could do whatever he wanted and not be bothered. It was more or less exactly what he had thought he wanted that first day.

Ko was finally leaving him be.

And maybe, if everything else had proceeded without issue, it wouldn’t have been so bad. He was confused as to the reasoning still, but after the weeks it had now been since the first onset of complications and a week since the confrontation that had broken down into, it felt less raw, more a given. Just as he had grown accustomed to Ko’s cheery presence and bubbling chatter, he could re-acclimate himself to privacy and solitude.

Except that it wasn’t merely that.

Kaleth would have thought — under any of the circumstances he imagined as potential reasons for what had occurred — that Ko would calm, leave him be, but spend his time elsewhere on things he wanted. He had been so intent on it after all and clearly didn’t think it worthwhile to speak with Kaleth.

Yet, he didn’t look well.

That much could be told even by a casual observer, and over the course of days it only seemed to worsen with time as opposed to improve. He wasn’t around much but in the time that he was he looked haggard, anxious, sleep-deprived, and fraught with discomfort. At first, this needled Kaleth, only stirring up further irritation grounded on the thought that Ko found it so uncomfortable to be around him that it was making him physically unwell and plaguing his mental state.

Over time, however, persistent, unasked for concern began wedging its way in like a fraction of a splinter not fully removed, pushed in by continued agitation and elusive to extrication. On this particular evening, Kaleth had been ignoring it—he’d finished class, exercised, washed, done his evening studies, and eaten without Ko on the mind. But after that, after all his day’s tasks came to a close and it ought to be time for bed, his roommate was still nowhere to be seen.

Kaleth decided to read, leaving their lamps lit and settling with careful attention not to look at Ko’s empty and unmade bed. He would show up. He might be avoiding him, but he still came back for night—there was no way to avoid it. Or, so Kaleth thought. One hour dragged into two, and ‘not being concerned’ became a full time job, wholly distracting from the text before him.

Ko wasn’t his responsibility. He didn’t need to know where he was. It wasn’t his business. He could be out with friends, Kal reasoned.

Or he could be crying lost in a ditch.

Kaleth was in the midst of mentally explaining to himself why it wasn’t his job to go out and stage a search for him when a stiff knock jerked him from his thoughts, and he was on his feet in a moment, moving for the door almost before he’d made any conscious decision to stand. In the first half-second after opening it, as his mind registered the professor on the other side, his mouth opened, “My roommate is-”

Then, his eyes found Ko, and for an instant, the relief was so potent, he forgot the rest. But, reality was a persistent character, and his brow furrowed instead before he looked back up to the instructor.

“Nevermind. You found him.”  

[MissMisnomer]

The stern faced man on the other side of the doorway merely raised an eyebrow at the unexpectedly prompt answer to his knocking, used to a certain amount of sluggishness from the youths. But, nevertheless.

“Yes, I found him. Lying underneath the benches in the front entry, nonetheless. Why he wasn't actually on top of them, I can't understand. But. Students are not allowed to just…sleep wherever they want on this campus. We give you rooms for a reason.”

Like a small shadow, Ko stood silently behind the man, bleary eyed with lids half closed, wearing a glum gloom across his face. A yawn shook his bony frame, teeth practically rattling in his skull.

The professor tipped his head in recognition of the action, leaning closer to Kaleth as his volume dropped. “I don't know what has been going on with you two, that is not my business. But…I know when a student is crashing. Hard. It is not exactly subtle.” A real shadow crossed over his eyes, resting his hand on Kal’s shoulder. “I don't think he's eating properly. He's lost weight, fast enough to be noticeable. I'm not the only professor concerned.”

“Now, I'm not asking you to do anything, that is not your job as a student. But…” He spoke in a whisper, quiet enough to be incomprehensible to the swaying youth behind him. “Please let us know if it gets worse. I don't want to have to call his parents here, but…I'm worried. Boys are…at this age…” He bit his lip. “A lot of things can be going on in your lives. But that doesn't mean it is not valid. The Gods value every one of you.”

He leaned back again, volume risen to the levels it was at before. “For tonight, please just…make sure he does not leave. We will move forward in the morning.”

And with that he placed a hand on the small of Ko's back, gently pushing the boy back into his room. Ko looked down at his feet, arms crossed as he silently obeyed. With a click of the latch, the door closed behind them.

After a moment, quiet enough to be drowned out by a breath of wind, he whispered, “Sorry to wake you up.”

And turned, shuffling over to his bed to crawl underneath the heavy covers.

[2/10]  

[Miss Chief aka Uke]

Underneath the benches…

Kaleth frowned as he listened, perturbed by the revelation—what was this boy doing and why so anxious still? What could possibly have been said to him to make him so afraid of being in Kaleth’s presence. Admittedly of late it wasn’t the warmest of atmospheres, but that was still entirely Ko’s choice so far as Kaleth saw it, and he wasn’t being aggressive towards him. Just ignoring him until he saw fit to come forward with whatever was bothering him.

But evidently, that wasn’t going over well with Ko. Or at least, none of his discomfort was easing; if anything, whatever was plaguing him seemed to be worsening.

The forwardness of the professor startled him, but the idea that Ko — who had never been thickly built to begin with — was losing weight visibly enough to be noticed within the span of two weeks, was concerning enough to merit it. Kal nodded in response, and after the door shut with the instructor’s departure, Kaleth watched Ko’s retreat to the bed.

You didn’t wake me. I was already up wondering when you’d show back up.

Kaleth ran the tip of his tongue along the backs of his teeth, and shrugged without comment. As he retreated towards his bed, still relieved to have Ko in sight regardless of the news that came with it, a soft, distant roll of thunder could just be heard briefly over the wind. ‘I know when a student is crashing…’ His gaze wandered to where lamplight lit the lump that was Ko under his bedding.

Not that long ago, Kaleth had thought it inevitable that Ko would eventually drop out and return to his parents, that he wouldn’t be able to handle the environment. That thought, though—along with the looming conviction that he, too, might not be about long and thus whatever happened between them was necessarily temporary and irrelevant—had waned over the initial weeks they had spent together and now, somehow, it felt wrong. Ko shouldn't be this upset; he had been doing fine. And guilt hovered in his chest no matter how he insisted that logically, this wasn’t his fault. He hadn’t done anything wrong that he could think of and if he had done something, he had already invited Ko fervently to tell him what it was.

It wasn’t his fault the boy wouldn’t speak.

And yet, he couldn’t shake the sense that there ought to be something he could be doing better to uncover the root of the issue, since the current strategy had yet to produce results.  

[MissMisnomer]

Even as his eyelids laid across his eyes like heavy sheets of sandpaper that scraped with every blink, Ko found that once again, sleep was eluding him. He tried to tell himself to just let it go, forget about everything until tomorrow at least.

But there was no way that was going to happen. Not when the professor’s words kept playing on repeat in his head.

Crashing…

He'd become an inconvenience to yet another person. What was he even doing here, he didn't belong, no one wanted him around, it would be easier if he just gave up-

Thunder rumbled in the distance.

He tried to pick apart the fabric of the bedding with his eyes, send it unraveling into the darkness just like everything else was. Every drop of rain that hit the window was a jab at his nerves, someone moved in their squeaky bed next door, Kal's breathing was a low and heavy bellow weighing against his backside, a ringing began quiet but growing louder shrill and incessant in his ear in his brain we will move forward crashing crashing found him found him-

Lightning lit the room as thunder shook the walls.

Ko twitched as he gasped, hands curling into tight wads around the bedding over him. The storm had to be right over them now, with how soon the thunder had followed the-

Another flash of lightning announced the ungodly cymbals crashing in the sky.

He sat bolt upright, rolling off the bed in a tangled mess of comforters and sheets as another thunder-clap smacked against the window. Breathing shallowly, he shuffled across the floor, bumping into the wardrobe as he reached through the pile of bedding encasing him to pop the door open. Wordlessly, he climbed inside, slamming it closed as the quilted mass disappeared into the confines of the wooden compartment.


[3/10]  

[Miss Chief aka Uke]

At the first loud, significantly closer boom that resounded around them, Kaleth glanced towards the window, but otherwise didn’t move. The strange drought, it seemed, was over, fat raindrops splattering down against the panes of their window as storm rolled in. At the second, he looked over to Ko. It was hard not to, when he shot upward as he did—and then scrambled across the room, to the wardrobe. And inside.

Kaleth stared a moment.

It wasn’t really his business. But he was curious, and the events of the day and week preceding it impressed upon him again the idea that he ought to be doing something else than what he was. He shifted, lowering his legs over the side of the bed and dropping down to approach the closet. He lifted a fist, and knocked.  

[MissMisnomer]

As the door shut in front of him, and shirts hung brushing against his forehead, Ko curled up into a tight ball, covering his ears as he shut his eyes tightly. The wooden walls and insulation helped to muffle the sound, but no amount of padding could make it really go away. The heavens were trying to force themselves inside, and here mortals were foolish to think themselves clever, with their stone buildings and thick timbers, one day it would wipe them all off the face of the earth, prideful creatures that they are-

A knock came, derailing his train of thought.

And then the thunder pounced on his unsuspecting senses.

He buried his face in the bedding swaddled around him, yelling into the fabric in what could only be described as a startled shriek, “FINE KNOCK IT ALL DOWN I GIVE UP JUST DO IT ALREADY!!”

If this was the end of it all, let the Gods come and take away his sinning soul, he was doing a horrible job of using it here anyways. Maybe he could come back as a little bug, a cricket, and just sit around and make music that everyone enjoyed and not have to worry about anything ever again.

That would be amazing. He almost couldn't wait for it. Being a person was overrated anyways.

[4/10]  

[Miss Chief aka Uke]

Muted whimpering.

Insistences that he go away.

A tentative reply.

Even sobbing wouldn’t have been entirely unexpected.

The shrieked, full volume outcry, however, had Kaleth raising his eyebrows, paused before the closet door a moment before shaking his head, and lowering his hand to the knob. As he opened it, another boom echoed around them, its lightning flash briefly illuminating the space behind him and outlining him as a dark silhouette before the lighting evened again, his attention settled on the quivering bundle that was Ko.

He crouched, dropping closer to what would have been eye level, if the other boy had been anything but a huddled ball.

“It’s just a storm, Ko…” he said at length, his voice low, but enough still to be distinctly heard over the storm. “You don’t need to be frightened of it.”

The rain provided a dull, rushing backdrop.

And it won’t be comfortable sleeping in there…

Not that Ko seemed to be getting much of that even on a ‘good’ night these days, and the weather evidently wouldn’t aid with that.  

[MissMisnomer]

Delirious with anxiety and exhaustion, Ko was fully prepared for the entirely plausible absolute that holy retribution was finally coming to rain down upon him, so much so that when the door did open, and all he could make out was a tall dark figure with glowing eyes looming over the exit, he full on covered his mouth with his hands as he screamed.

Kaleth was standing there.

His wide eyes saw, but it took a moment for that to register. Apparently, tonight was not the night his soul was to be reaped. But nonetheless, as a scarlet wave washed over his sallow face, he wished he was dead.

He buried his humiliation into the quilt ― pulling the blanket firmly around himself ― blocking off everything else from being seen ― and from seeing him. He mumbled in defeat.

“Why are you talking to me?”

[5/10]  

[Miss Chief aka Uke]

Why are you talking to me?

Kaleth pursed his lips. His gut reaction was to feel rebuffed, which was off-putting to say the least, given he felt he was extending a peace offering of sorts already and at no small cost. But, being that the question had been preceded by a scream and that Ko managed, other than his attitude, to look fairly pathetic all told — huddled in a closet as the storm boomed, cocooned in blankets which swallowed him whole — it was easy enough to deflate that momentary spark of irritation.

Still.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I guess I shouldn’t be, huh? Since you still don’t have time to tell me the truth…and you seem willing to make a wreck of yourself to avoid me.” Ko had looked impressively awful cowering behind the professor, and though now most of him was out of sight, Kal could still see it in his mind’s eye. “You’d probably prefer if I stayed out of your way and left you here? But I’m not so good at doing what other people want…”

Frowning a moment at the lump of cloth that was Ko, he reached, pulling back the top so that he could study the boy’s face. “And I’m tired of waiting for you to tell me what the hell’s up with you. Who said something to you to make you so afraid of me? I thought you’d know better by now, that I’m not out to hurt you…what are you doing hiding out of the room after curfew hours? You didn’t wake me because I was still up, wondering when you’d be back in and where you’d gotten yourself lost to.”  

[MissMisnomer]

It was hard enough for Ko to focus under regular conditions, doubly so with the combined fronts of a very loud storm overhead and exhaustion slowing him down. But nonetheless, he tried, curled up in his comfy misery. He mumbled half heartedly under the blankets, hoping he might be heard through them, but apparently, that was not the way Kaleth wanted to conduct this interrogation. Soon enough his wrappings were pulled back, leaving Ko with the uncomfortable obligation to look directly at Kal.

A divergent part of him was overjoyed simply to be spoken to again. But the one that was present here, only felt more glum.

It was a pitiful peace offering.

“I don't get lost all the time, I'm not that stupid,” he said, pouting up at him. “You don't have to give me the pity treatment. I didn't ask for it.”

The edge in his voice grew dull as he looked down, wincing as another thunderclap shook the timbers. “You don't have to pretend to like me anymore. I know you hate me.”

His tone was of sad acceptance, rather than agonized regret. “It's okay, you did a good job faking it. You lasted longer than I thought you would…”

[6/10]  

[Miss Chief aka Uke]

As Kaleth listened, he felt the furrow in his brow deepening, irritation and confusion shifting into utter disbelief as the boy went on. “I don’t care what you asked for,” he said at length. “I told you I didn’t come here to give you what you want, I still want an answer and ignoring you wasn’t working. I’ve never given you a pity treatment and I don’t pretend anything, particularly liking things. I don’t like all too many things or people, it would be exhausting to, and I’ll tell them so if that’s how I feel. You…”

He eyed Ko critically.

“You’re a bit out of your mind. But I like you alright when you’re not being a lying coward.” After a moment, he snorted. “And I don’t hate you. I don’t know why you’d think so. I am still cross with you for not telling me what’s going on. Letting yourself get sick like this is ridiculous. I want to know what you think I did wrong…I don’t care if you’d rather be somewhere else, I just want to know why you’re so bothered.”

He debated a moment.

“It’s sort of quiet without you about. Which isn’t so bad…but it isn’t very interesting either.”  

[MissMisnomer]

Even as Kaleth elaborated, assuring him that he actually did not hate him, Ko was having a hard time completely believing him. It certainly didn't feel that way.

“You didn't do anything wrong. This whole thing has been my fault.”

He picked at a loose thread on the hem.

“I get it, you're a nice guy, way cooler than me, you have an obligation as my roommate to be worried. But you don't have to be. You can hang out with your real friends. It's fine, Kal.”

He bit the inside of his cheek.

“I get why people don't like me. That's why I just…wanted to make it easier for you. So you wouldn't have to do it yourself. And if being around me makes you mad, I thought it'd just be easier if I wasn't.”

[7/10]  

[Miss Chief aka Uke]

You’re a nice guy.

Kaleth squinted.

It certainly didn’t feel like that was what Ko thought.

And more unfortunately, in the context of the rest of it, it still didn’t make sense.

“I don’t have other…friends,” Kaleth said, only realizing in retrospect how that sounded. But it was more or less true. “I don’t hang out with anyone, much. I sit alone since you left. I don’t know what you’re trying to make easier. If I wanted you to get out I would tell you to, and being around you doesn’t make me mad, you lying to me does.”

He shook his head. “Is that what all this is about? You’re avoiding me because you think I want you somewhere else? And you couldn’t even tell me that?” A pause. “It was better to sleep under a bench?”  

[MissMisnomer]

With the obvious salt that came with Kaleth’s question, Ko internally bristled, feeling that again, Kal was trying to sugar coat things that did not want to be. If Kal didn’t like it when he lied to him, then he shouldn’t be doing it to Ko in the same breath.

“Is that so crazy an idea? I have a hard time reading people, it’s a problem and I’m trying to get better at it.” Confusion was making him frustrated, both at himself and the other boy. “But what am I supposed to think, when what you’re saying doesn’t match what you’re doing? Actions speak louder than words Kal, that’s what I’ve heard, and it’s true.”

“You don’t talk to me, Kal. And it’s not just now, it’s all the time.” A lump started forming in his throat, which he made an effort to swallow around. “I just ramble on and on and on, and you just sit there, like you aren’t even listening. Like you don’t want to be there. The least you could do is tell me. I’m not a demanding person, that’s not who I am.”

His voice cracked as moisture formed in his haggard eyes, rubbing them away. “I don’t want to be coddled, I can handle it. If you don’t want to hang out with me, then just don’t. If you don't like me, then don’t like me.” A tear slipped out, then another, his face turning red trying to hold them back. “But don’t ignore me. Anything is better than this. I hate this so much Kal, I hate it.”

[8/10]