(Years-old RP before U'W disbanded.)


I think...I wish to become a banu.

No...

...I think...

Why?!

Sister, I wish...!

"Why, my sister, why...?" Lamya whined quietly to herself, body sprawled on a dusty den floor and white arms suffocating her aching head. She shivered in the night air, suffering another sleepless night. Painful images and thoughts flooded her head and fingered her mind delicately with threats of nightmares should she fall asleep. She didn't want more nightmares...but she didn't have to sleep to have them. She was living one, even where she lay. Those grotesque, judgmental faces of males who smiled at you through their vicious masks, ruling over weakling females who didn't know any better than to be ruled. And their offspring--only the result of cleverly-told lies. They were walking lies. They were all walking lies. Lamya's body cringed and she ground her teeth, jaw shuddering with the tension. She had thought she had run out of tears to cry hours ago, yet she felt the moistness trail down her dark face.

Lamya and her sister had been so close, ever since their cub-hood. They had seen pleasant times together, and they had shared dark times...many dark times...but they had always been together through it all. Even when they had been captured, they were together. Even as they suffered under the ridiculous rank of "kajira," they were together. They'd grown together, laughed together, lived together, wept together, played together, sung together, hunted together, slept together, hated together....

But no more.

Her sister...she...she....had....

Choking back a throat-tightened sob, Lamya ripped her eyes open and stood swiftly, claws scraping noisily against the rock beneath her body. She staggered and stood still, heaving hot breathes and glaring at the emptiness in front of her. The den she was being kept in was cold and empty, covered by a large stone that didn't quite cover the entrance, allowing swift night breezes to waft through and bite at Lamya's tear-stained face. She was seething, white claws trying and failing to cut into the rocky floor beneath her paws. The hair stood all along her back and shoulders as she bowed her head, pupils paper-thin and teeth trembling in a snarl.

SHE HAD BEEN ABANDONED!

There, together like they'd always been, her sister dared utter that hopeful phrase--those sick, putrid words. How could she be so cruel?! After all they'd gone through together, she had left Lamya alone. She had left behind all that made them sisters and left her alone.

She had chosen the pride over her own sister. She had chosen a shared life of a male over her sister--a male who wouldn't even know her--NEVER know her as good as Lamya knew her! So...why? Why? Why did she...she...!

Letting out a roar, Lamya slashed the large rock that sealed her in the echoing den, ramming all her force into that one, brutal slash--just as she had slashed her sister's face. Lamya knew she had damaged her sister's face. She knew her sister was blind. But she thanked...she thanked the gods, if they existed. She thanked any heavenly bodies that ruled the savanna, if they did or didn't exist--she thanked them. Because now her sister would never know the face of the pad who took her useless self in. She would never know the faces of her traitorous-blood cubs, if she was cursed with any. All she would remember each day was the face of Lamya, the last face she ever saw before her eyes were taken by the claws of the one who loved her the most in the world. And that was what Lamya wanted. She wanted her to wallow in despair for the rest of her living and nonliving days.

If only she had killed her instead of merely blinded....She would rather her sister die than leave. But that thought made her so sick with herself...sick and sad and angry.

"What was so special about this place that you left me for it?!" Lamya spat quickly in the darkness, golden eyes glowing in her spite, body trembling lightly. "Their rules, their ways, their talk of obedience," she counted cynically, beginning to pace, "all words to mask SLAVERY, you stupid, traitorous COW!" she snarled. "You chose them over me...!" she murmured, ceasing her pacing and staring vacantly at the floor. She breathed quietly for a while, seeming to mull over the words her dark lips had just spoken. Her staring eyes wavered back and forth quickly, dark lips parted. "You chose them over me...." she muttered. "Now I'm...I'm alone....You left me for them....They don't even know you....How could they? How could they ever...know you...more than me...." she spoke quietly to herself, her expression twisting and changing as sadness crept over her, the weight of the words she spoke finally beginning to level in. She seemed to rock gently on her feet slowly, carefully, until her limbs gently sank and she lied down once again on the cold floor.

Didn't her sister understand how much she loved her? How strong the bond of sisters was? It was stronger than anything. They'd shared the womb of their mother together--shared heartbreaks and new experiences, danger and adventure, happiness and sadness...everything. They had shared it all together their whole lives. But now her sister had left her. Now her sister had told her to her face that they were no longer going to be as close as they once were. They were no longer going to be together. Because her sister had chosen a different way of life--a life that did not even need to include Lamya. She had abandoned her. She chose strangers over her sister. She didn't love Lamya as much as Lamya loved her. And Lamya felt so, so alone.




Now she was always going to be alone.


________________________


The cold drafts continued to flow in and out of the den at different intervals, and it was becoming too much for Lamya to bear. Her body was crumpled and shivering. Dust coated the edges of her fur.

She felt pathetic.

She felt weak.

But what made her stomach turn most was that she didn't just feel those things--she was becoming them.

"No..." she growled, teeth clenched and trembling in frustration and cold. She wouldn't become those things. She'd die first. And perhaps she would? The verdict was not yet decided.

It had been some weeks since Lamya and her...'sister' arrived in the pride. She had not spoken to a single other since that day. They had taken to feeding her through the gap where boulder met rock wall--like a trapped pet. It was disgusting.

The lioness rolled over and curled into herself, sickened by the thought of her situation. But what else was there to think about? It was the first thing to enter her mind in the morning, and the last thing to leave it at night. But this was a sleepless night--a cold African night. It was cruel and bitter and frustrating and hateful.

Lamya HATED that place. Her verdict couldn't come soon enough...die or be escorted out--either was better than what she was suffering. Cruel, despicable males--slave-drivers with pretty faces, donning their masks of concern and strutting like peacocks in the sun.

Oh, yes, such GODS they were--so worthy of every female's time, love, and devotion.

...So worthy of her sister's devotion...

Lamya swept herself up to her feet and spit at the ground, tail slashing at the air. Her eyes were lit now, bright orbs in the darkness of her confinement. A growl eased itself out of her chest and held its place as the lioness paced. She shook the black hair from her dirtied face, then stopped in her tracks abruptly. A shadow had moved over the usual space of light, casting half of the lioness in complete darkness.

Whipping around, the lioness arched herself in defense and snarled. She was met with a slit face of shadow and two bright pink eyes.

A male, staring at her.

Lamya's whole body filled with hatred like a watering hole became filled during a storm. Her pupils thinned and she lashed her tail in warning, claws stretching to their full extent. She lowered her head and glared up at the male through her black hair, not giving him the full respect of a head-on stare.

"Well?" she said lowly. She waited a moment for a response, eyes wavering over the male's face briefly. Her temper ignited and she said in a louder tone, "Are you going to state your business or are you going to leave me ALONE?"

The pink eyes squinted in what she assumed was a smile, for she couldn't see the rest of the male's face through the small gap in the wall. Then, for whatever reason, the face moved away. Lamya was alone again. But not for long. She knew.

Soon...they would come to collect her...

And soon...she would show them just what it meant to not go down without a fight.