[PRP] Bonding (Erastan, Liat +dragons)

[Sinders Path]

Erastan was only a few days into his new weyrling routine and new life with his blue partner but he had decided to adopt very much the same tactic to it all as he has to his candidacy.
Hide at the back, make a few notes and try not to fall behind so much it causes a problem but also, avoid contact from classmates and the teacher.

It was a strategy that both he and Aspalath both found they agreed on.

Unfortunately, for a reason that he could not fathom it had not worked. The rest of the small class of junior weyrlings from the stray beach clutch had been called to do chores but he and Aspalath had been summoned back to the weyrlings brackets to meet with Lait.

Erastan sat waiting as instructed, just outside the main building, perched on a rock at the edge of the weyrbowl. His right hand rested gently on the delicate triangular head of his new partner. Of course Aspalath was flustered by it all.

"It's because I'm not good enough, I can't keep up with the bronzes. A gold! And even the white is much better at everything than me. Now she's picking on us, on you." Aspalath lamented, tucking his tail tight under his slim awkward body while his wings quivered with worry. His eyes swirled a cloudy orange.

Erastan rubbed his head knobs gently and tried to calm him. "We haven't even started doing anything much yet. They can't say anything bad about us when we haven't done anything wrong." His scrawny shoulders tensed with determination. "I won't let them." He added stubbornly. "B.but." He hesitated "Maybe they don't think I should have impressed because I didn't do well in candidate lessons. Etansi was always helping me. Maybe I'm not good enough without her. I need her."

"That's not true. You're my perfect match. I want to be enough."

Erastan looked down at the blue who gazed back lovingly and lowered his head to press against the dragon's in wordless thanks for the encouragement.  

[Uta]

Sinders Path

If Erastan and Aspalath had hoped they wouldn't be noticed by Liat and Orioth, the pair were sadly mistaken. If anything, due to the incredibly small number of weyrlings that Impressed to Western Candidates, the class was going to be under extra amounts of scrutiny -- not because there was anything wrong with them, but because there were simply less weyrlings in the group to have to look after! With less weyrlings to have to herd, it meant Liat and Orioth could better watch, discuss, and consider their needs...

And in these first sevendays, the greatest need of both rider and dragon was focusing on bonds. If a rider and dragon pair had a strained bond, or one of the group fought Impression, the results could be disastrous. Furthermore, the weyrlings would need to bond well with one another, as the next Turn would force them to have to work with one another seamlessly. Whether the weyrlings were social butterflies, or wall flowers, they were all expected to come together now that they had Impressed.

Erastan and Aspalath were no different.

Liat and Orioth had made notes as they had watched the clutch spill from the beach, and the coy blue had been well noted. A'ral had briefed Liat on the Candidates who had been chosen, and even in these first few days of weyrlinghood, she had already made notes about what each individual pair needed to work on. Erastan and Aspalath were no different.... except.... Something about them felt off. Strained. And Liat was going to make sure whatever it was got taken care of.

There were no loners in a Weyr.

When Liat arrived, she was pleased to see that the two boys had arrived on time. "Erastan, Aspalath," she greeted both with a nod and a smile. "Might I have a word with the two of you in my office? It may offer more privacy than here in front of the Barracks, as I know Sparks Rising will be returning from their flight lessons a bit early today." She opened the barrack doors for the pair, trusting they knew well where her office was within the building. As pleasant as the sun and clouds were, this was meant to be a private conversation.

Orioth, who had been resting on a perch not far above, crooned encouragingly at the pair. Neither were in trouble, after all.  

[Sinders Path]

Uta

Erastan eased himself up from his seat when he saw Liat heading in their direction. Aspalath took up his post pressed to his bonded's side. His eyes swirling yellow with worry. But that meant very little the nervous little blue''s eyes were almost constantly the colour of his anxiety unless he was alone with Erastan. He tried to step forward, push out his chest and stand tall and confident as the other dragons but the tremble in tail and the yellow of his eyes always betrayed him.

Erastan manged to return the nod but didn't say anything. He found words unnecessary most of the time. The most important people in his life had always seemed to understand him without them. Those that didn't, he couldn't care less about and now he had Aspalath who's thoughts were linked to his own, he had even less use for pointless noise.

When Liat mentioned the returning flight Erastan automatically turned his eyes skyward, scanned the dragons in flight then walked to join the weyrling master at the door. Aspalath spared a glance at Orioth but didn't respond. He wasn't entirely convinced by the reassurance.
Once inside it became quite apparent Erastan had no clue where her office was. He spent as little time inside the barracks as he was able, so during his brief status as weyrling that had included little more than sleeping. On top of that he was new to the weyr in general. So even the common lay outs that the weyr buildings shared did not have a solid shape in his minds eye.

They waited for Liat to follow them in and then take the lead again.

They followed obediently but both dragon and newly minted rider shred the same look of cornered wild animals. However Aspalath gave off the impression he would bolt at the first opportunity where as Erastan looked ready to bite the first limb that got close enough. His dark sever looking brows were furrowed in a frown. But that didn't really say much, he was always frowning, glaring or glowering.

Once they were in the office Erastan did make an effort to show willing by taking the seat in front of Liat's desk. He licked his lips, wetting them cleared his throat and stretched his neglected vocal cords. "So, what did we do?" He meant, what had they done wrong.  

[Uta]

Sinders Path

Once settled in her office, the woman took a seat at her desk, and looked between dragon and weyrling. She had spent many turns looking after the weyrlings of Western, so this certainly wasn't her first rodeo with aloof or overly shy individuals. As Weyrlingmaster, she had seen it all, and then some, and was the sort of woman who liked to think herself as flexible in how she handled each pair. It was her job to ensure that each and ever weyrling was supported, and able to best be able to survive the training that was coming their way. While the first week, and maybe even the few few months, weren't terribly difficult -- there was a large learning curve, and no guarantee any one of them would survive to see Graduation.

But every lesson depending on the teachings that came before it. Early bonding between dragon and rider and weyrlings would color every interaction from day one through graduation and beyond. The bonds they made now could well haunt them Turns down the road, or help keep them alive. These early days were important, and with Impression being as powerful a life change as it was, it was the Weyrlingmaster's job to ensure her new wards were getting comfortable. Having a new life now know your every thought, your every move, your every thing was magical . . . but not everyone fully understood what that meant.

A dragon depending on the life of their rider fully. But not every rider knew how to handle such a powerful bond... or, in some cases, even wanted one. In other cases, a rider became too bonded, and became blinded by the love they had for their new bondmate. Neither situation bode well, which was why she had asked Erastan and Aspalath to linger.

At the boy's question, Liat arched a brow, before giving a small smile and shake of her head. "No need to worry, Erastan. I didn't call you here because you're in trouble," she began. "I called you here, really, to start a conversation, to check up on you and Aspalath, to see how the two of you are doing. How are you settling in to the Barracks?" Liat wasn't going to tell Erastan point blank what her concern was -- not right now. No, she would explain her questions, her concerns, after she had a better idea of where Erastan and Aspalath saw themselves.
 

[Sinders Path]

Uta

Aspalath had managed to squeeze his growing bulk half under the chair, half behind his bond mates legs so he could peer up at Liat from behind Erastan's knees. It was a good thing he was a slight build or the pose would have been uncomfortable. Erastan let his hand drop to Aspalath's head, soothing, a gesture of comfort.
Love between the pair was undeniable. The poor little blue's heart throbbed with devotion for the boy. Erastan was dedicated to the dragon. Oiling and feeding the hatchling religiously without the squeamishness over butchery that his some of his classmates had. That was not the problem.

"Fine. We're fine." Erastan answered Liat stiffly. It wasn't going to be that easy.

He paused searching Liat's face. When she didn't say anything, He knew she wanted more. "The other weyrlings and dragons are noisy. They scare Aspalath sometimes. That's all." He hoped that would satisfy her. And it was true, the racket caused by the young dragons games and play were over whelming for the blue but Erastan had made it clear violence would fall on anyone that got to close to Aspalath's hiding spot under the bed. So the boy considered it manageable.

Though as he considered this, another thought struck him. "One of them say something? If they don't like us. We'll sleep outside." Erastan was no stranger to using the earth as his pillow and Western had better climes than the northern weyrs. With all the supply sheds and out buildings, he could find somewhere comfortable. Plus if they camped out Etansi could sneak out and join them. sleeping outside when there was the option of a bed might have seemed bizarre to most but Erastan actually sounded quite keen on it.  

[Uta]

Sinders Path

Liat listened to the other boy, taking note of how the blue positioned himself. Erastan already had a note by his name -- A'ral had spoken to Liat about the young man's behavior after the Hatching -- but she was trying to give the man a clean slate. While she wasn't impressed, it was her job to straighten out this behavior sooner than later. The woman wanted to give the man the benefit of the doubt -- Impression could be a trying time, emotionally -- but that sort of impertinence wouldn't fly here.

Thankfully, the boy's initial answer wasn't his final answer. While she wasn't surprised to hear that Aspalath might have had trouble adjusting to Barrack's life, she noticed that nothing more was given. Furthermore, the boy foolishly continued, and immediately took to the defensive.

The fact that he claimed he'd sleep outside was ludicrous. Clearly, his training with A'ral had either gone over his head, or he simply hadn't been paying attention. Well, that would all get cleared up. "No one said anything about you or Aspalath. Orioth and I called you here based on what we've seen -- your fellow peers are blameless. Also, you most certainly won't be sleeping outside." Honestly, tthe weyrlings would sleep where she told them to sleep, and that included Erastan. If he didn't understand the chain of command, or even the basic rules of weyrlinghood, she would need to sort that out, on top of her concerns with his blue. But that was neither here nor there. "Even if you did have an issue with one of your fellow weyrlings, do you really think that would be the right response?" She asked, tilting her head with a curious, but concerned, expression. While she understood Erastan and Etansi had been, more or less, a bit wild and feral.... she wondered if she had to start over completely with this one.

"Honestly, Erastan, this doesn't seem or sound fine to me. What is it about the fellow weyrlings that scare him? Baby dragons are often playful, and some of them can be quite rambunctious. This can cause squabbling, but it's usually up to the dragons to work out their concerns with one another." Though squabbles and fights were common enough -- but they also often lead to problem solving, and if nothing else, forced civility. Weyrlings didn't have to like one another -- but they absolutely had to work with one another, and rise above their personal distaste. The same went with their fellow dragons.

"What do you do when your blue is nervous, or grows upset by the others? How does that usually play out?"
 

[Sinders Path]

Uta

A'ral could talk till his throat was raw and Erastan could recite his lessons word for word. It really didn't matter if the student still choose to ignore them in favor of earlier more ingrained life lessons. Which was probably why his lips twitched in disappointment when his suggestion of sleeping outside was refused point blank. At least no one had turned him in for his behavior so far. He pulled up the mental file of his interactions with the other weyrlings so far and added a suitable note for future reference.

Erastan really didn't think the answer she was looking for on her first question was a firm 'yes'. So wisely decided to keep his mouth shut.
Surely they would rather he remove himself from the situation rather than confront it violently which was option number two.

More questions, and she was looking at him like she expected real answers this time. He fell silent for a long heavy minute before he managed to summon up the right words.
"They startle him. We don't like it. We'd rather be left alone. We do our work."
He added the last part in as if he thought that being sufficient at chores would relieve him of the responsibilities of social interaction.

"When they scare him. I hold him. I protect him. He's mine. I won't let them hurt him, in anyway." He promised fiercely. "If I look at them, they usually go away." He gave them death glares till they got the message, but it was a type of looking, sure. "Then we go somewhere quiet to calm down." When it was just the two of them Asplath seemed much mire happy and relaxed. So it seemed logical to the teenager that it was the correct course.

As they spoke Aspalath had crept out from under the chair a few inches to get a better look at Lait. Though he had still not broken contact with Erastan's leg. He was letting Erastan do all the talking and when he looked at his rider his eyes swirled with nothing but deep love for the boy. His protector. Even if he was worried he was not worthy of it.  

[Uta]

Sinders Path

Liat watched Erastan, noting the small shifts of his posture, his expression, his overall body language. Erastan was now hers to care for, look after, train, as well as punish. His life, and Aspalath's, were now in her hands -- whether they believed so or not! There was still much he didn't know about dragon riding, and even less so about fighting Thread. It was her duty to keep them on the straight and narrow, and any deviation from the path could prove deadly. No matter what, she would turn the man and his blue into a competent rider pair -- even if it took one-on-one meetings every. single. day.

When the man explained the situation, the woman gave a small grunt, and let him continue to explain. What he said made sense, and seemed a logical response...but it wasn't the right response. Perhaps if it happened now and again, but ultimately, it was just escaping the fact that they would have to bond with their clutchmates. "Erastan, you and Aspalath share a great bond. This isn't superifical fondness; this isn't like someone might bond to a runner or herdbeast. In fact, this bond surpasses the love of a mother and child, two lovers, or even the closest of siblings." She certainly knew about Etansi, but that wasn't why she mentioned the latter. She drew the comparison simply to stress her point. "Aspalath lives only because you live. Aspalath is here only because you're here. It's clear you'll do anything to keep your dragon safe. I see it in how you sit with him, I see it in how you act together, and I see your love for him in how you handle his fear."
She paused, though, looking between boy and dragonet.

"But," and she paused, hoping that her next words would get through to both.

"I'm afraid, you also might be stifling his personal growth, and encouraging overly-bonded behavior." That said nothing, of course, about any possibility of Erastan growing overly-dependent or causing the pair to have a lop-sided relationship.

Giving the two time to consider her words, she finally explained. "Aspalath is a baby dragon. He might be shy, he might be anxious around large crowds, or enjoy the quiet, but he's not meant to be isolated or alone. His skittishness is a hurdle he is going to have to conquer, and he is going to need you to help him with that. There's more to weyrling training and dragon riding than simply doing your assigned tasks. That might have gotten you through Candidacy, but it's certainly not going to get you through this." She glanced back at the blue dragon peeking out from behind his rider.

Reaching out, ever so gently, the blue dragon Orioth finally spoke privately to the blue. Asapalath, you know your fellow weyrlings aren't going to hurt you. Is it true that you're afraid of them and scare you? What is it about them that you don't like or makes you uncomfortable? Is it just their larger numbers? Is it something else? You know I wouldn't let any one of them harm you. You're safe here. The paternal blue dragon sent warmth and even affection through the chain. Weyrlings might not be his, but there was no doubt this blue looked upon all of the little dragons as if they were his own.

Liat, for her part, looked back at Erastan. "I know you want your dragon to be safe, but do you really believe that protecting him as you currently are is the right thing to do? I know your heart is in the right place, but I think you're going to have to give him your strength and protection a bit differently. Can you think of any ways to do so?" She asked. She had the answer -- and would tell him exactly what she expected of him if he didn't know -- but for now she'd wait. See if the man would actually engage.  

[Sinders Path]

The boy clearly was not comfortable in the presence of the weyrling master. He sat on the edge of his seat, his whole body tensed as if he was just waiting for the shouting to begin, punishment or something worst. Only his hand still resting on his young dragon was relaxed and gentle. Occasionally moving to scratch around the base of his head nobs, a newly forming habit. But to his credit, he was listening attentively to every word. He cared enough about his dragon to give a meeting regarding his welfare due diligence and consideration. Which is why her words made his brow furrow and a frown to form.

"I don't understand." He admitted.
"You say about the bond, how important it is. I know this." A'ral had started it in basic candidate training and it had been expanded on during the first few lessons of weyrlinghood. "So why is close bonding...over bonding bad? And, he just hatched, the lessons...I thought I should protect him at this age."He gazed at her expectantly , any other boy his age might be expected to have some levity about their character, a tendency to goof around but Erastan was only ever serious and rather earnest in his approach once his initial residence and aggression were dealt with.

Aspalath was listening to, between moments of twisting his head so Erastan's fingers caught just the right spot to deal with one niggling itch or another. A small pleasure he allowed himself while still noting what they were told, no doubt they would discuss it later. He could sense that Erastan was growing increasingly on edge, frustrated. Aspalath tried his best to push support and love on his rider without interrupting.
However he was not expecting the force of another voice from outside the room and he flinched. An automatic in built reaction as well as pure surprise.
Erastan noticed and looked down, sending out a silent question. The small dragon shook his head. It was fine. He was fine. Erastan needed to listen to his lessons.
Once Erastan had turned to Liat again, Aspalath tentatively touched the owner of the voice. Finding nothing but calming warmth of feeling he relaxed enough to summon a response. It was like, flicking like a humming bird in flight. Uncertain. I do not think they will hurt me. Not on purpose Though some of them are quite rough. I just like the quiet, just to be alone. With his rider of course, they were one now, so if Erastan was with him he still considered that to be alone.
When that quiet gets broken. I don't like it. And...it makes me stiff. It's not a good feeling. The more of them their is the worse it is. Bu...bbut I know it's not their fault. Because they are all alike and I am only like me. So I think it must be me thats wrong and not a proper dragon.
He would not like Orioth to think he was putting the blame on any other dragon.
Also....He hesitated again. Erastan, my rider. He has a big black fear in him. He's so scared of something but he won't tell me what it is. He says I should not worry when I ask, but after, sometimes he holds me very tight and trembles so I think...there is something very big to be afraid of, so I should stay close, so we can protect each other but also be aware of what might be coming. I love him.
He fell into deathly silence after that not entirely sure his rider would be happy with him sharing that last morsel of information but it also felt good to put voice to something that was eating at him since their bond had grown strong enough for him to pick on that hidden mass of dark emotion in his beloved.

Erastan was still trying to puzzle out Liat's questions without much success. "I did think it right." the boy pointed out miserably. "Till talking with you now." Thought if he really reflected on his actions it had also been the easiest way, the most familiar course. "I know, you want me to say I should help him make other dragon friends..but he does not want that, pushing him at others that break his nice quiet and comfort, it feels wrong."

Uta

 

[Uta]

Sinders Path

Here's hoping any of this sinks in. xD

The woman listened as the man tried to explain, confessed his new uncertainty. She knew that he was trying to do right by Aspalath, and if she weren't the Weyrlingmaster, she might well have allowed him to continue to walk the easiest path. But, that wasn't her job. She was here to ensure that both rider and dragon formed a healthy bond, and were able to complete their training successfully. So she said nothing for a moment, considering her words carefully.

"The bond between rider and dragon is, perhaps, the strongest bond you could ever find. You will never love someone as much as you do your dragon; you will never find a relationship as fulfilling. No family member, no lover, no friendship, will ever top what you and Aspalath are to one another. This is all true," she repeated. There was no understating the importance and weight of Impression. "But your relationship is far more than just being a match. You and Aspalath have different roles, though you will often be pegged simply as a pair. Aspalath will be your fast companion; he will care for you, love you, support you, perhaps even blindly so. His pain is your pain, and your pain his. But Aspalath is also a dragon. As intelligent, clever, and wonderful they absolutely are, they are also dependent on having a rider. It is your duty as Aspalath's rider to help ensure your blue is able to survive to adulthood. I might be the Weyrlingmaster, but no matter how much I teach, no matter how much I stress certain rules, or behaviors, it is ultimately up to you to decide to enforce them.

"Aspalath is a young baby. Life is still new, and he's a bit of a sensitive soul on top of it. I have no doubt that you are trying to what's right by him, but I also have come to understand, from A'ral, that you are also not well accustomed to Weyrlife. I've read your records, I've spoken to the Candidatemaster, and I know of what happened after you Impressed. You have Impressed, but you have also taken on a great, life-changing, responsibility. You know he doesn't like being around others; you know he doesn't like it when the other weyrlings get rough or approach. But do you think the other weyrlings are going to really hurt him?" Part of Liat had a suspicion the boys own mistrust, his own fears, were only playing right into Aspalath's worries. "Would you trust the other weyrlings alone with your blue for any length of time?"

She searched the other boys face. Her words were firm but not unkind or without understanding or compassion. "The reason I ask is because both you and Aspalath are going to have to work with others. It isn't enough to simply do an assigned chore or task, or listen to a lesson, and keep others away. No man is an island, and no dragon for that matter, especially not in a Weyr. These early days are imperative in forming close ties and bonds -- not just with you, but with your fellow classmates, your fellow weyrlings, and getting Aspalath positive interactions. Very soon, you and Aspalath will no longer be taking lessons together; while we teach you, or while you do chores, or other assignments, Aspalath will be watched over by Orioth and other adult dragons. Playing with others, bonding with others, forming those relationships with his fellow weyrlings is just as important; while you bond with their riders, he should be bonding with their dragons. He might be shy, but right now, I see the start of a codependency.

"Over-bonding is troublesome, because the larger he gets, the less control over him you'll have. He will be 13 feet long, approximately, in about two months. Closer to 20 feet in about four. Your duties as a dragon rider are going to require the two of you to work independently. He will not always be able to get to you, and you will have to keep him under control when Threadfall inevitably scores you. You will have to keep him calm when you are in pain or hurting -- be it emotionally or physically. What happens when you form a relationship with another? What happens when someone breaks your heart? What happens when you get in a fight? What happens when Aspalath gets angry or hurt by another dragon. Just because they're wingmates or of the same weyr doesn't mean every dragon gets on with everyone else. What happens when someone else starts to edge in on your time with Aspalath, if you ever fall in love, or even simply in lust with someone, hmm? If you ever take on a weyrmate and have children? He is a sweet blue, but he needs some of your independence. He needs you to support him, but also to challenge him, and to set boundaries. He has to learn to work without you there, just as you need to know when it's time to comfort, and when it's time to encourage him to step outside of his comfort zones."

Orioth did not mind the blue flinching, though he did make a note. Clearly, others needed to talk to Aspalath more, so he might not find a gentle touch so surprising. I understand preferring the quiet. Sometimes it can get a bit loud. Don't you want friends, Aspalath? I have no doubt that others out there want to be friends with you. I want to be your friend, but I'm afraid you might find me too big. Or maybe too noisy. Sometimes I do like to talk. His words were gentle, full of paternal humor. I'm afraid the world is a loud place sometimes. It's hard to find quiet, especially when others need you. Hmm. You say you are only like you -- I don't think that's true. So you might be quiet, don't you think there are other quiet dragons out there? Don't you think there are others who keep themselves away? There is nothing wrong with you, Aspalath. You like what you like. . . but you will need to face some of those fears and worries. You are safe here, and you are loved by so many. Your rider, too.
He might be afraid, but he has nothing to fear with us. Mine will make sure to help him with that fear, just as we want to help you feel happy and safe, too.

The blue quietly informed Liat of that fear. Something to address... She just had to find the right way.  

[Sinders Path]

Erastan just nodded along to the first part of the speech, old ground rehashed. Besides, he didn't really need to be told about the depth of the bond, with each new day he felt it and his sweet Aspalath's love for him was a force that could not be denied or fought, the young dragon adored his rider with every atom of his being and when faced with such a monumental force you could either accept it and be wrapped it it's comforting warmth or fight it, in which case something would have to break.
Luckily Erastan welcomed it. Meeting his own while only being partly over whelmed by it. It was just imperative to Erastan he protect it in any way he could.
His Aspalath was pure and perfect, the more he could protect him from getting dirtied by the ugliness in the world, the better.

Erastan nodded again when Lait pointed out his new status in the weyr, he and his sister had been brought in just before the hatching of the tea clutch which was another reason impression had been such a shock, it had all happened so fast. They had barely settled in their new surroundings before Aspalath's arrival and impression had over turned it all again. Not in a bad way, it just left Erastan feeling he was often playing catch up in his own life.
Even now he was trying his best to absorb and process each new lesson from the weyrling master.

"Trust the other weyrlings with Aspalath?" He frowned and then shook his head. "Not till he gets bigger and can fly away when he needs to. There are lots of ways to hurt." He added with feeling. "And most of it isn't accidental." Just from the look on his face it was clear Erastan was less than thrilled about the idea of being split from his dragon. His whole visage twisted with displeasure and his nose wrinkled like he could smell something unpleasant. How could he effectively protect him if he wasn't with him? Orioth was okay...maybe. but the rest?

"B..but what if I don't fall in love." He pulled another face. "And if I stay away from others their won't be fights, then its not a problem. I don't want children or anything, just me and Aspalath is fine. And Etansi..." He trailed off then looked Lait square in the eye. "I don't see why any of it matters much anyway. Since we are going to die fighting thread anyway. Thats what it's all for right? Gotta protect Aspalath till he's big enough to fight thread, gotta get along with others so we can all fight thread together. Fine. If that's what I have to do, but its better I don't know them, when they die it won't hurt then.We can still do the fight training with them. There is always a catch and the weyr's is the most cruel. "

The blue listened to Orioth but his habit for quickly shifting any praise away from himself quickly kicked in. Thankyou for your kind words but there are much better friends than me. I would not be very good at it. And other quiet dragons must still be rather good at being dragons. Why else would we be called in here to talk to you? However the blue then caught the end of the conversion and his head swiveled quickly. His eyes swirled alarm. We're going to die?

Erastan cursed, and shot a glare at Lait as if it were her fault his mouth had fun away with him and he had revealed the terrible truth he had been trying to shield his baby dragon from. Sometimes ignorance was bliss. what if the heavy burden of truth scared him between? That would be the ultimate cruel twist if his fear of their death killed his partner even earlier.

He slid out of the chair and dropped beside his bonded on the floor so he could look into his ever loving, trusting eyes. I... He didn't know what to say. Aspalath still looked worried, his head cocked to one side, one claw raised to rest on Erastans' bent knee. I'm sorry Aspalath I'm very bad luck to those that love me and thread is very dangerous. And I heard from one of the candidates one of the high reaches weyrlings died on their first fall.
Erastan had not had the best start in life, but he was also a fifteen year old hormonal teenager being hit with multiple big changes in his life, he could do over dramatic teenage angst very well, althrough that didn't stop it also being a genuine belief.

Aspalath seemed alarmed by the news but not as terrified as Erastan had feared. I'm a dragon Erastan, it's my job to protect you from thread. I'm sure I can at least flame like the others when I get bigger.
He pressed his head to the underside of Erastan's chin in a feline like head rub and the young man embraced him but it didn't cheer him.

Uta

 

[Uta]

Sinders Path

Liat arched a brow at Erastan's answer. While she wasn't entirely surprised, at the same rate, the boy didn't seem to understand how wrong his response happened to be. He clearly had some trust issues that they were going to have to work out over time. "Wrong." She stated firmly. "Erastan, why do you think the other dragons are going to hurt him? How do you think the other weyrlings are going to?" Aspalath was a perfectly healthy blue dragon.
"He might be shy, and aloof, but you must know that you need to face your fears and worries. You must be stronger than mistrust. While we have protections in place to ensure you and your dragon's safety, you also cannot, and will not, be able to protect him from pain, embarrassment, or mistakes. These are all things that will happen eventually, to you, and to him. Sheltering him isn't the answer, Erastan, and I know you're smart enough to know that." Her words were firm, but again, not unkind. She wasn't upset with either Erastan or Aspalath, but she also did not want the boy to think he was right. "You most certainly are not going to be able to just wait for him to get bigger and fly away -- very soon both you and your dragon will be expected to begin functioning and learning separately. This means Aspalath playing with his fellow weyrlings, and even interacting with the other dragons of the Weyr. He obviously won't be alone -- Orioth and the other dragons will keep an eye on their play and their interactions, and will lead them in games and other instructional play -- but you will also be expected to trust that the Weyr has your best interest in mind.."

While she understood the young man was practically feral, he was going to have to learn to adapt. Aspalath and he might always be aloof, but there was no getting around what would be expected of them.

When Erastan began rejecting future possibilities, Liat said nothing, and let him have his say. He was young. Maybe he wasn't interested in romance now, but he might someday; heck, Aspalath might fall in love with someone as he grew. And even if they didn't, there were other relationships that might develop. He was certainly capable of bonding with others, if his sister was any indication. Ah, but it was when he pulled out the accusation that all they were there was to protect Aspalath until he's big enough to fight Thread, this time her eyes did flash, and her lips turned into a frown.

Still.

She said nothing. Not right away.

"Erastan, you likely know this better than most, but life is cruel. No one was ever promised an easy, happy, or even good life." She continued to watch the boy. "You knew what you were signing up for when you accepted Search and accepted Candidacy -- I know A'ral didn't slack in his training. While it may now be hitting you that you are here for the long haul, for better, or for worse, there's no getting out of this. There's no guarantee you're going to die fighting Thread -- look at those in the Weyr who have survived these Turns of trauma -- but the more you fight against what we train, the harder you push others away, the worse it's going to be for you both. Aspalath is a fighting dragon, and was born to fight the Enemy. He will be as prepared as any of his fellow weyrlings, and I know you will do whatever you can to keep him safe. Living your life as an island might sound just fine, but you're going to find that life isn't meant to be lived that way. If your time is short, wouldn't you want to rest knowing that you touched other lives, and that your memory, your heroism, your good heart, lives on?

"Death is inevitable. We're all going to die, and yes, some might not make it through this very weyrling training, though I will do my damndest to ensure that's not the case. But Pern is dead without Aspalath and you there to protect it; Pern is a lost cause if we give it to the Enemy. Yes, you might well need to give your life, but by training to be the best Threadfighters on Pern, we try to ensure that Aspalath and you don't HAVE to go up into Thread as just another fatality, and by going up to face that threat, you ensure countless others get to live another day. Should you make the ultimate sacrifice, by doing so you give countless others another day to live." Liat knew the boy wasn't going too like her words, but she was not here to sugar coat the truth.

Death was a very real possibility for them all. "The Weyr might be cruel, but we never tricked you, Erastan. We made the stakes clear. Life might be cruel, but you also found Aspalath. You found your perfect match, your missing piece. Life might be short, but would you not give up your very last breath for that beautiful little face? Would you not cut your lifespan in half if it meant a day with that precious blue? What is cruel is rejecting others without giving them a chance. What is cruel is assuming the worst of your peers, and missing out on amazing possibilities What is so upsetting is that you don't even want to try to give others a chance, or to really live, now that you have all this opportunity before you. I'm not asking you to go make best-friends with those in your class, but outwardly rejecting them; pushing them away, refusing to participate when they might well need you . . . That is not what dragonriders do.

"Dragonriders are selfless. Dragonriders are loyal. And dragonriders serve. You, Erastan of blue Aspalath, are a dragonrider, and I expect more of you than you seem to expect of yourself."

Orioth, for his part, simply gave a small snort. I am an older blue, Aspalath. I have met many dragons, and I have not befriended them all. I assure you, I know quite well what I like, and what I don't, and I promise that you are not at all on the latter list. How could there be a better Aspalath friend when you are the only Aspalath I know? Only your friendship would make me feel better. But maybe you just don't like me, or don't want to try to be friends with me? The blue asked softly, gently. We called you here because we wanted to better get to know you and Yours. I've talked to many other dragons here, for many reasons. You and Yours aren't in trouble, Aspalath; Mine is worried about Yours, and I worry about you. We want you to feel safe, protected, and cared for. We want you both to be happy, and it seems like neither of you are particularly so.

Neither rider nor dragon intervened when Erastan slipped down to field Aspalath's query. Liat simply waited, wathing the exchange. Part of her doubted she would make any sort of breakthrough with the boy this day -- but he was now under her care, and this would well be the first of likely many talks. No, Liat wasn't going to give up on the boy, no matter how angry, frustrated, or mistrustful he happened to be. She was here to turn him into a rider, into a man, and she had but one Turn to do so.

Fear, aloof natures, shyness -- these were all things she was certain she could handle, but she also knew it could well take some time, and a lot of investment. Today was but the beginning, and unfortunately for Erastan, Liat wasn't the sort of woman to give up. Let him hate her. Let him loathe here. But she was going to make sure Aspalath and he were able to live as long and as good a life as they could.  

[Sinders Path]

Erastan stayed sitting on the floor, shifting only so that his back was against the lower part of the chair and he was facing the weyrling master again, his new position allowed Aspalath to half climb onto his lap, resting his delicate blue head against his slim shoulder and allowing the boy to hold him. They both seemed to relax a little at the contact and some of the stiffness left the new riders body.
Aspalath had chosen him, out of all of the candidates on the sands from western and high reaches, he had chosen him! Not only that, but he had looked into him, all his darkness, ugliness and anger and loved him for it. Even when Erastan had failed him he had never stopped his flow of adoration. So how could Liat ask him to expose this perfect creature to pain and life's ill's while he could still prevent it? He only dug his heels in.

He didn't voice that thought, he already had a good idea of what her answer would be based on the current track of the conversation. "I have not been at the weyr long, don't know many dragons." He admitted "But some have already startled or scared Aspalath, that's not to bad, hes run straight back to me. I can protect him, calm him. But if we are separated..." He frowned. "What if it scares him between instead?" he asked anguished at the mere idea of it. The idea of young dragons going between as a result of poor training and bonding had also been an idea very much hammered in by training at both the candidate and weyrling stages.

"Aspalath is all my best parts now, if he goes between there would be nothing left of me. Nothing good." he added. He didn't resent the dragon for what he was, he had given over all those parts of himself freely and without resistance. But all the more reason he needed the blue to stay close.

Of course that wasn't true, having a dragon hadn't made Erastan any less of what he was before but after pouring all his love and care onto the young fire breather for the past few weeks, hardening himself to be his protector, it was what it felt like to the teenager.

"Master Liat, before coming to the weyr, me and Etansi, we were living on the streets, stealing to survive. Being chased away or beaten for trying to get food. Or somewhere to sleep safe from thread. We would have agreed to almost anything for three meals a day and shelter." he pointed out. "We thought Vosin just took pity on us, we did not think either of us would ever impress. Plus A'ral taught us more letters. Like Ma used to.That was enough. Only planned to stay long enough to figure out what to do next, thats why Asplath was such a shock, not a bad one. Just...Not expected." he admitted hugging the dragon tight again before he could question his devotion to him.

"So I'll...we'll fight thread for that, cause I owe the weyr and because Aspalath feels a duty to fight with his siblings, a loyalty to them which I understand, even if they...to much, big." He was rapidly learning but like most other things language had been slow for him, for many years he' only really communicated with his sister so it was easy to loose words and this was the most he had spoken in one sitting in a very long time. Talking with Aspalath, mind to mind had helped as well. " I do not want to die, not to be hero or for Pern that's only kicked us around." He paused then, gazing at Lait to make sure that she understood what he was saying, she might put him in the camp with the rest of the dragon riders as 'selfless' but he was here for his own reasons.

Aspalath was much happier snuggled against his rider and even had the courage to look directly at Lait while they spoke now. While still speaking with Orioth. I would not like to make you feel bad! The little blue replied in alarm. I will be your friend if you wish, but..I do not know how to be friends. I don't have any others, only siblings and my rider. And we are not always unhappy, when we see my riders sister, when he oils my hide, when we sit and share food together and when we find somewhere quite and undisturbed to play, that all makes us happy.

"People are smiles and good words till you need something they want, then the truth comes out, I don't like seeing that. I don't want Aspalath to see it. And I still work with them on class tasks, I still do my work, I am not against that.I don't refuse any of that" He pointed out, he didn't like being accused of not committing himself to those lessons when he had been pushing himself hard to catch up with the classmates who had more experience and knowledge than him thanks to longer spent in the weyr or even growing up there.

"I don't 'assume' cause I know people what happens when they don't get what they want or get desperate, but each time hurts. So being 'an island' is better. Less painful. Safer. I have my sister and Aspalath and I will work with the others, not fight them. I still don't understand why that's not enough." She had gotten Erastan to talk, that was something but the big breakthrough she was hoping for was likely to much to ask for just one conversation. Besides, experience had made him jaded and mistrustful against others, it would take experience to turn that view around again.

Someone other than his sister that was human to break down some of his preconceptions of people by befriending him.

Uta

 

[Uta]

Sinders Path

The woman knew that they were likely getting close to an end of their conversation. While it went, more or less, as she expected, she also understood that Erastan and Aspalath would need time. No amount of talking to the boy was going to result in some breakthrough this day, but he had given her a good idea of what work would need to be done. It would take time and a gentle hand with this one -- they both would need to learn trust. Thankfully, she had time, and depending on their development, could continue to work with both of them, and the other weyrlings. There was time yet, and she planned to put every day to good use.

Erastan wasn't the worst weyrling she'd ever had to deal with -- but he was going to be a challenge. She just had to ensure both rider and dragon were prepared to handle life as it came to them -- and to ensure they grew into a well adjusted pair. And if she had to hold them back, to keep him in training until she felt him ready, than so be it, she would.

"Your very fear is why you have to learn how to handle those scenarios. Both you and Aspalath. Erastan, a dragon is most likely to spook himself Between when they are unbonded. Once they Impress, the risk becomes substantially less, but there have been cases and instances where a dragon scared themselves Between. In most of those cases, it was because their rider was not following instruction, or took it onto themselves to disregard rules we have in place.

"There is a reason we are so protective of our weyrlings. There is a reason we have rules and regulate what you and Aspalath are, and aren't, doing. Fear is something Aspalath and you are going to have to learn how to face, and it's something we will work with you and help you both conquer. You have a bond with your dragon that will never fade, will never waver. Even apart, you two will still be together.

"But I am not doing any favors to either you or your blue if we don't challenge you. You will have responsibilities outside and alongside caring for your blue -- and I trust you and Aspalath will both find your place in due time. For now, I suppose there isn't much more to be said. Just try not to forget that you are no longer on those streets, Erastan. You and Aspalath are as safe here as anywhere on Pern. Though we will need you to become competent Threadfighters, and have expectations of behavior as a rider of Western Weyr, I have no doubt that you won't let us down. I understand this is difficult change and transition for you. I understand you came from a desperate situation -- but that doesn't change that you were Searched, and it doesn't change that you are now an up and coming dragon rider.

"I'm not asking for you to throw open your heart to just anyone. But going through the motions isn't enough. You'll find that out in due time, and perhaps it's not something I can simply explain. For now, I have a new assignment for you and Aspalath. You have three sevendays to get me three written reports on three individuals of the Weyr. Tell me what you learned from that, what you know about them. Their hobbies, their likes, their dislikes, what you liked about them, and what you didn't like about them. Tell me how the interaction went, what you were doing at the time, and how you felt about the exchanges. Tell me what you did, or how the conversation developed. If your writing skills aren't up to snuff, you'll come to tell me orally.

One of them should be about your fellow weyrling, one of them should be from someone else -- not your sister -- in the Weyr. And the third can be anyone, but your sister.

I also want Aspalath to do the same, but with three dragons in the Weyr. He can let Orioth know how it goes."

She wasn't and couldn't force the man to open up -- but he had to learn how to work with others, and had to make himself accessible. Both rider and dragon would likely go through the motions, but how would he act when he had to be the one to approach and engage? She had exercises planned for the weyrlings to get to know ranking individuals of the weyr, and to do reports as a way to better learn the whos-who of Western, but she would give Erastan this project as extra work. Three sevendays was more than ample time for the pair of them to work out such a project and perhaps it would do them some good.

Orioth, for his part, brightened considerably at Aspalath's words, and even let that pleasure roll gently over the blue -- so he might know how sincere he was in his desire for friendship. It is very easy to be friends, Aspalath. I will help you, if you'd like. Just talking sometimes is a way to be a friend -- like we're doing now! I will sometimes come over to say hello and see how you are, because I want to; and maybe, sometime, you might come over to say hello to me, too. But I understand if you do not wish to do so. Being friends doesn't mean having to do anything, really. But it can mean you might care about someone's day, or maybe finding things in common. For instance, you are a blue, and I am a blue. And you are a very good, very kind blue -- it is why I think we might be good friends.  

[Sinders Path]

Erastan listened but remained unconvinced, he knew they would now have to be parted, but he didn't understand why. It felt like he was forcing him to push Aspalath out alone before the boy felt he was ready. He could not make his blue suddenly a vessel of over flowing confidence and courage, nor would he want to. All he felt of his role was to protect and support the gentle creature till the blue came round on his own, being more forceful felt like the edge of cruelty to Erastan who was all to aware of what harsh words and constant belittling and picking at faults could do.

It did not help that the bond was new, Aspalath was still a baby and so was Erastan in many ways, neither of them quite had the emotional maturity and experience to deal with their shared issues, the raging hormones of a teenage body didn't help matters.

As for finding his place, well for Erastan his place had always been with his twin. Never a solid place just that one person that had never let him down. Now he had Aspalath and the blues siblings were here. Whatever way he looked at it, he was stuck here for the foreseeable future. Like it or not. It was hard to switch the flip in his head to see Western as his own.

The revelation of the assignment caused his nose to wrinkle in distaste. The boy would have rather scrubbed the massive weyr kitchen through with a tooth brush than force himself into akward conversation with three people "I don't like it." he stated bluntly. "But...for Aspalath I will. If you think it will help." Personally he wasn't convinced. A thought which was written across his face. But he still didn't really understand why his keep everyone at arms length strategy wasn't viable. As long as he did his work.

Aspalath was still listening quiet intently to Orioth, whatever this friendship business was about , and however casually the older blue played it off he had the impression that it was quiet important. In fact, the real point of the whole meeting. I believe I can do that but I do not think I am very kind. If I was as good as you say, surely it would be easier for me to be more giving and open with my siblings as they wish. And as yours wishes as well.

Aspalath let the conversation die for a moment as he felt Erastan shift under him, accommodating as ever he rose to let the boy up. Watching him with eyes that only had hints of yellow in them now he felt much calmer.

Erastan had also sensed the meeting was at a close, not much more to be said. So he walked around the desk to meet Lait, he stood before her, waited patiently for her to stand and looked her slowly up and down, his lips parted like he wanted to say something, but nothing came out. His brow furrowed again and for a second his expression was thunderous frustration at the inability to express himself.
His arms twitched and given the tension running through his body Lait would be forgiven for thinking the boy was about to hit her.

A second later his hands did shoot up and out, quick as cobra's around her waist in a lighting fast hug. Brief but tight and warm, pressing his face into her chest before the boy turned on his heels and practically fled the room at a run.
Aspalath followed him, close as always, but luckily he was still linked to Orioth to fill him in on the strange behavior.

'My rider would like to thank you and yours Orioth new friend. Even if you only want us to fight thread, It's nice to feel like someone is trying to help, it if a good feeling, even if he being lectured is not.

Uta