[PRP] Consequences (Etansi & A'ral)

[Hattaki]

A deep breath pushed her visible ribs out wide and then they pulled back in so that Etansi could wrap her thin arms around them carefully as if she could hold her fragmented self together just a bit longer. Standing in the hallway with her back pressed against the cool stone was helpful but it had her shivering violently and only part of it was because of the cold that sank into her bones thanks to her lack of any body weight. She was waiting as patiently as she could for Master A'ral to see if she was going to be allowed to continue to stay at the Weyr.

At least in her head she knew full well that she was going to be kicked out of Western Weyr for her actions and she was going over every option she would have ranging from going back to Rivercrest to living in the woods and simply going feral again. Certainly it wasn't what Ma Loa would have wanted for her, probably not even what Vosin and Killakeeth would have told her was acceptable. But in the face of it all she was doing the best that she could now that she was all alone in the world. Whether or not any of her worst case scenarios would play out was really up to her Candidatemaster but she was terrified and the hole that had been punctured in the armor around her small spot of sensitive feelings was still missing and it did nothing to ease her. Tears were always right at the edge of leaking from her eyes every time she thought of her brother and the sensation was a little too raw for her.

She just wanted it all to be over so badly.

Mx Cherie

 

[Hattaki]

Ushered into the room faster than she thought she would be, Etansi tried to curl into herself a bit when placed in the chair that dwarfed her slim frame. Being indoors was still a bit new to her even all these months after coming to the Weyr as she'd slept outdoors or in shacks or even in a caravan at one point, but never indoors like this. Even being in the solid room made her uneasy a bit because there was no way for her to escape should she need to and her eyes were huge and wild in her face like some wild animal. What were his intentions, was he going to tell her now that she was being removed from the Weyr or... steaming water?

Swallowing a bit of fear down she leaned forward and sniffed at the water during the pause in her master's words. It wasn't water, it didn't smell right for water and why was it so hot? Wrinkling her nose she sat back in the chair and pulled her knees to her chest tightly, trying to use the brace to keep her from shaking as visibly as she was when he gave her the news that she knew was coming.

But the words that A'ral spoke were not at all the ones that Etansi was expecting. Stay? She could stay in the Weyr and be near her brother? Why weren't they kicking her out when she'd broken the very first rules that she'd been taught upon arrival?

It didn't matter though, because he had spoken them and the expression on his face did not speak of a lie or a joke to her. Tears burst from her instantly with a loud gasp and the intense burning pain in her chest burst all at once and left her with a numb feeling that spread and spread. She could stay, she didn't have to try and figure out how to starve again when she'd been eating regular meals, she didn't have to come up with ways to stay safe all alone in the world. Etansi buried her face in her knees and sank her nails into the skin of her legs, she'd cried enough in the open on that day and it still filled her with shame. Now here she was again, tears running down her face as she could finally relax and not feel as though every breath was one step closer to being forced away from her brother.

A loud growl erupted from her stomach that broke her tears up a bit and even her dark features seemed to turn red as her head lifted and her hands went to cover the heat she felt in her face. She hadn't eaten anything since the hatching because she thought she'd have to get used to starving once more and was prepping her body for it. Now she regretted it.

"I'm sorry. I know everyone thinks... I'm an idiot. I'm sorry." The tears that ran down her face dampened her hands but she couldn't take them away and look the man in the face when she'd disgraced him so.

Mx Cherie

 

[Hattaki]

Physical touch wasn't something that she was accustomed to thanks to her upbringing and the life she'd been forced into for so long. It took everything in her frightened body not to jerk backwards when he touched her because the logical part of her mind told Etansi that it wasn't a threat but an attempt at comfort. She might have lacked the ability to express her inner workings but she at least could think quickly enough to not compromise herself. Except for that damn hatching it turned out.

Pulling her hands down from her face and taking a deep breath, the small girl couldn't stop her tears but she could at least compose herself so she wasn't breathing heavily and shivering as hard. Things were as dire as they'd seemed just a short time ago, she could at least relax a little bit with the knowledge that she wasn't being thrown out into the wild once more to figure out life alone.

Reaching out she grabbed the cookie off of the coaster and shoved it whole into her mouth, barely chewing more than twice before swallowing it hard. Her eyes were a bit less wild but she trained them on her Master carefully as she reached out her shaking hands to the odd smelling water.

"Why? Everyone sends u.... me... everyone sends me away in the end." Etansi started slowly, her confusion obvious for her circumstances. She sniffed the hot water again and lifted an eyebrow before taking a sip. "Leaf water..."

Mx Cherie

 

[Sinders Path]

Erastan didn't knock, or wait to be invited into the office of the candidate master. It wasn't locked so he threw open the door and arrived like a miniature whirl wind. He was panting, red faced and trembling but with a look of staunch determination on his young face.

Like his twin he was a similar build, scrawny and light boned with only the first signs of regular meals showing in his frame. In other words he was absolutely no threat physically.
In his hand he held a crumbled note written in Etansi's own fair hand with a mix of words and jumbled letters the twins had decided were close enough. But it had been enough to let Erastan know what Etansi thought was going to happen to her.

"You can't kick out Etansi!" he burst out. "If you do. I go to. We'll take Aspalath and go and find another weyr happy to have another dragon and you won't have us anymore and....." He paused running out of steam at the same time he finally took proper note on the general vibe in the room. Etansi holding her tea, tear stained but calmer than he had expected. A'ral also looked calm and rather fatherly in the way he held his twins hand.

Slowly his shoulders let out their tension and his eye darted slightly sheepishly between the pair.  

[Hattaki]

Flower water smelled much the same as leaf water, but she sipped it anyway and felt her tears dry up slowly in the process, trying to wipe them away with her fingers as he began to explain things. Her attention was suddenly snapped when the door blew open and in burst her twin like a whirlwind of anger and determination. His words made her heart hammer harder and she was forced to sit down the drink so she didn't spill it all over herself when her hands began to shake. Etansi wanted nothing more than to leap to her feet and embrace her brother on the spot, but that wouldn't have been right just then when A'ral spoke up about her schedule and the chances she would get to see him.

Casting looks back and forth between the two of them, Etansi strunk slightly into the chair, still feeling like Pern's biggest fool ever. She'd thought he was leaving her, then she thought she was leaving him. Now here she was looking just as sheepish as the expression that crossed her brother's face, at least they were sharing in something again. Who was Aspalath? Was that his dragon then?

Did he really have to go outside and be away from her once more? That was a stupid thought though, of course he had to go outside and wait, but her stomach lurched a bit. It was just so good to see his face...

Mx Cherie

Sinders Path

 

[Sinders Path]

Still unsure Erastan looked at his twin for some sort of signal. Matching schedules...that sounded like a good thing so why had Etansi been crying? After his sister gave him the right look or nod Erastan finally allowed his small fists of furry to drop back to his sides.

Without saying anything he cast a lingering warning look at A'arl. With few solid role models in his life adult figures often held less respect in his eyes than they deserved so he was not afraid to challenge them.

With painful slowness the teen finally backed himself out of the room and closed the door. Though you could bet a dragons behind that he was just on the other side listening in.

While he waited he slowly extended his mind to find Aspalath, ah good. The dragon was still very deeply asleep. The kind of sleep that only babies with full bellies can achieve.  

[Hattaki]

To see Erastan leave left her breathless a bit, but somewhere in her heart she knew that he was nearby should the worst still happen. But it was her master that commanded her attention and her dark eyes turned back to him, still wide despite her best efforts to calm down. Having her twin burst through the door had nearly made her break into more tears but she was suppresing them through sheer force of will, she'd done so much crying that she felt weak and she hated herself more every minute for it. Thank goodness Zinath had hidden her with her wing or more would have seen. If only she could do something for the green that had protected her...

"He... he's a good brother, I love him." Her head dropped and she sucked air in audibly, "I'm very sorry Master A'ral... I didn't mean to run away but I couldn't look at another baby dragon. That gold told me... that closing myself off would mean mine would never find... find me. I don't know how to open up. Staying alive on Pern meant being strong, meant trusting nobody. But she said that right after..."

Being weak meant that Erastan might be killed and she wouldn't allow anyone to hurt him. "Thank you, thank you for not sending me away from him even though I'm a disgrace. I'll try.." Her hands wrung in her lap roughly. "I'll try to be better so it doesn't happen... anymore."

Mx Cherie

Sinders Path

 

[Hattaki]

That was the barb though, was she really the one that was Searched? Or had it been Erastan and the Weyr simply got them as a pair because they were always together. Now that he'd Impressed it would come down to her doing the same, really proving to this man that she could and was good enough to make anyone proud. Something that she had never once done in her life full of nothing but survival. It was good to know now that even if she never Impressed her brother wouldn't leave her completely, just a little bit every time he fought Thread and risked his life somewhere she could never help him.

Nodding her head even if it was still lowered, Etansi balled her hands into fists and promised herself that she would never stop fighting even if she would never stand on the same level as her brother again. Maybe she couldn't protect him in the air, but she had never physically been able to do much for him anyway, it had always been a much more underhanded approach that she took in order to help him. Sure, she was useless compared to his dragon, but she would find other ways to keep them safe and cared for. Standing as a Candidate was another fifteen year commitment that she could handle as long as he was a rider, then she would work as a drudge after that, make something money wise. Plans unfolded swiftly in her head.

"This... would be the first place I've been that could say that... safety is entitled." It certainly was hard to explain why she might never come to believe that with so many new things and dragons and perceived dangers hanging around the Weyr. There was only one place she felt safe after all, "I still feel that way, but it just means trying harder... right? To not fail?"

Mx Cherie

 

[Sinders Path]

Mx Cherie

Hattaki

Erastan instantly opened the door unashamed of his lurking and not making a single attempt at showing he had not been eves-dropping. Such a habit would be hard to shake out of the boy as he failed to grasp why it was inherently wrong. Especially in this instance when his lurking had been in service to protecting his twin and making sure A'ral did nothing further to upset her.

He still eyed the candidate master in a why that suggested he was still not convinced he was not the cause of his sisters tears.
He slowly eased himself into the chair beside Etansi. The large plush seat took both of them easily and Erastan was able to wrap his arms around the trembling girl wordlessly offering his reassurance.
In the chair it became clear that Erastan was edging over his sister when it came to Height but both were still diminutive to most their age.

He wasn't much of a talker so he let his gaze rest on A'ral expecting him to pick the conversation up again now that he was here. In the back of his mind he felt a stir from Aspalath and took a steadying breath, trying to calm himself so that the blue might be lulled back into slumber.