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[FIN] An Occasion for Starlight [Leukos+Sajahka] Goto Page: [] [<] 1 2 3 [>] [»|]

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Miss Chief aka Uke

Rainbow Fairy

PostPosted: Fri Feb 23, 2018 7:17 am
After making it up, Sajahka headed for a side wall and settled, placing his butt upon brick and making use of the clean cloth piece he had brought along for this purpose as he set down what he had for the moment so as to observe Leukos while he turned and looked about. In answer, Sajah shrugged. «I thought I should know the city since I came to it.»

That much was true, at least.

Though he couldn’t steal anymore, according to both moral and practical prerogatives as he had promised Leu — and his boss, in a less direct way — that he wouldn’t, it still occurred to him to look and see and observe. He couldn’t help but want to map the place mentally. It seemed natural and necessary. He was no longer anyone else’s property; he might as well learn as much as could be known of his surroundings freely, and he had the time. So he had taken it, meandering and making note where he could between other activities—such as work, and writing. And in this case, it had paid off multi-fold.

«I have been trying to learn my way when I have opportunity and I came upon this some weeks ago…I had thought it would make a good venue for eating under the open sky.»

And it simply couldn’t be as fun to do so alone. So.

He reached, unwrapping the selection of stuffed dates and plucking one up to pop into his mouth. If he chewed properly and held it near the back of his mouth, he could just get some hints of the rich mix of flavors between the hearty cheese and sweet fruit. Behind him, with the distant sound of ocean came the occasional sea breeze skirting up and over the rooftops, and it left a pleasant tickle on his skin. In combination, it felt good—peaceful and most welcome after a full day.

«I thought I might prefer to share the experience with a friend,» he added at length, returning his attention to Leukos—and being reminded again with an amused light to his eye of Leukos’ ‘few minutes’ that it had taken to make him present so nicely. All for him, as the case would have it, since there was no one else here to appreciate it. Fortunately, Sajah felt capable of doing enough appreciation for everyone. «And I am grateful for the time you have been taking out to teach me…so it is also a thank you.»  
PostPosted: Fri Feb 23, 2018 10:52 am

A soft warmth nestled against his chest, and Leukos couldn't help but smile, taking one last look at the place before he sat down next to Sajahka. “I don't think I've eaten on rooftops many times before…but it's always been to avoid the attention of certain individuals, mostly parents whose children were making the bold choice of spending their time with a circus boy.”

He picked a candied nut out of a small bag, munching contently as he got comfortable. “It's nice to enjoy the view without worrying about being discovered. Thank you.”

It really was a spectacular one, with nothing between them and getting lost in the glittering cosmos far over their heads. Away from the main hub of the city, the stars really shone brighter. He made a note to take a mental shot for later.

“But it really hasn't been much of a bother at all,” he said, in response to Saj's statement. “You're a very good student. I can't believe how much you've improved in such a short period of time. And…I think I've rather enjoyed this whole venture.”

[9/10]
 

MissMisnomer

Omnipresent Browser


Miss Chief aka Uke

Rainbow Fairy

PostPosted: Fri Feb 23, 2018 11:44 am
At the initial admittance, Sajahka found his eyebrows raising a notch in curious surprise. Perhaps it made sense to someone, but looking at him, Sajah hadn’t ever considered that Leukos would be the sort of person parents wanted their children away from. The opposite, even.

«But you are so well-behaved and put together…» he countered, only half teasing before he tore off a small hunk of bread, chewing with thought. «I would have thought you’d be the prime example everyone looked to. ‘Be more like L-E-U-K-O-S, he does it right.’ I imagine the children chasing after you could only have been messier and less well-mannered…but, yes, I do not think we will be bothered here.»

It did bring to mind general questions, though, as Sajah realized, despite all the time they’d spent together, he only had a fairly bare, basic concept of Leukos’ life before he’d met him. He knew he had been owned, once, but guessed that had been quite some time ago, and he didn’t know what age he left or the circumstances thereof. And he supposed he knew of his participation in a circus group, but not how long that had lasted either. Or even why he had left, as he clearly wasn’t with it now and he was fairly certain that was a recent change.

«How long were you with the circus? Was there a reason you chose to leave it, or was work here just a better option?»

At the latter commentary, though, Sajah’s ears flicked with appreciative abashment, and he gave a brief, sheepish grin. «And you are a very good teacher…I prefer not to make you cringe. It inspires a man to learn quickly.»  
PostPosted: Fri Feb 23, 2018 12:22 pm

Leukos unwrapped the fish, picking through the small bones to get at the meat inside. “Believe it or not, many people are not overly fond of our circus. Something about it being a roving band of mischief makers that tempt their children away to waste their hard earned coin on frivolities and scams, filling their heads with silly ideas... Like it's our plan to seduce them into running away from their respectable families to live a life of sin and debauchery on the road.”

Satisfied with his little pile, he started eating the soft flesh. “Which is completely ridiculous. That only happened ONE-” he paused, squinted, and shrugged. “Okay, it actually happened a handful of times, but that was over the span of YEARS, and it's really their parents faults for not maintaining a house they wouldn't want to leave behind. It's not OUR fault that their lives were so incredibly boring.”

Leukos opened the bottle, looked around for cups - but upon finding none - just drank straight from it. “I suppose I can see the appeal: it really was a special place. I was with them since the beginning, when we were nothing but a ramshackle collection of people with different talents and the need to feed ourselves. The fact that it's such a big deal today is remarkable: we're actually entirely composed of Matorans. I had no plan of ever leaving, but a good friend from my childhood that I hadn't seen in years invited me out here, to Matori, to visit him. I'd never been before. It felt like high time to see what the fuss was about.”

“It has been a very enlightening experience. And I had every intention of going back after I was done visiting. ” He glanced at Saj, grinning sardonically around the dates he popped into his mouth, chewing and swallowing. “But someone saw fit to put those plans on hold when he took all the money I had for the return trip.”


[10/20]
 

MissMisnomer

Omnipresent Browser


Miss Chief aka Uke

Rainbow Fairy

PostPosted: Fri Feb 23, 2018 1:07 pm
“Mm.” No, certainly not, Sajah found himself agreeing entirely—any child who ran away from home to the circus was making a conscious choice inspire by something, and if that promised a better life in their eyes, then so be it. But then, he didn’t pretend to understand the motivation or mindset of parents. So far as he had seen, they were as diverse and fallible as the world was large, and everyone began making their own path the moment they had enough agency to start pushing their own choices.

When Leukos took up the bottle of spirits, Sajah watched before thinking about it, eyes trailing instinctively to the man’s lips where he took the bottle—and then up to the stars, because that seemed like a safer place for his gaze. ‘Just don’t drink so much you want to kiss me,’ moved fleetingly through his mind, tempting—but he decided against it. Even the thought, still, despite his best intentions, inspired a small pull in his gut and a flutter of unasked for warmth in his chest, and he had purchased it so that they could relax and share it between them without incident.

Fortunately, distractions came readily available

But someone saw fit…

He blinked, glancing down and over. And then flushed for an entirely different reason, abashed abruptly because- «I kept you from returning?»

It was almost ridiculous, all things considered, to put it in perspective. Leukos had been a part of something else entirely, something he had never intended to leave, then remained as long as he had entirely thanks to Sajah himself? And presumably, that lingering was what had lead to where he was now—where Sajah had again found him, due to his own shifting circumstances. They might almost certainly not have been here as they were if not for what he had done.

«I am…»

Sorry?

That, somehow didn’t feel like the right word, since — though Sajah did feel guilt in retrospect to know he had played such an active role in turning the man’s plans upside down — he was still glad for where they were, now. And they apparently never would have gotten here, if it weren’t for all that had occurred, and his own actions specifically.

«I did not realize I had such a large effect on your plans…I would apologize, and I am sorry to have caused you hardship, but…» Since Leukos had taken his drink, Sajah felt entitled to reach, using the bottle as a momentary excuse to hold off comment, take a healthy swallow, and consider as the liquid ran its course, warming his gut on the way down. He tapped his fingers to the bottle neck before setting it aside, and looking up to Leu. «I am still happy it brought us here…» His gaze flicked in spite of himself down—and back up to Leu’s eyes, and before he could think better of it: «Besides, you are so passionate when you’re furious…it all seemed to work out.»  
PostPosted: Fri Feb 23, 2018 5:50 pm

He'd meant the comment to be a lighthearted jab at the boy, remind him of what he'd been before he started working alongside Leu. But really…that wasn't entirely true. As much as he enjoyed his company now, and yes, everything had worked out somehow, there was still that part of himself that was bitter. If Sajah had just bedded him and then left the next morning, or even if he'd still stolen all of his money, he would not have been as hurt. It was the fact that both had happened, together, that left a lingering sting. He didn't know if it would ever go away.

Maybe in time, it might.

“Yes, well, stealing tends to have lasting repercussions on people's lives. It didn't help you'd been so thorough in your search of my room either.” Huffing quietly, he rolled his shoulders, reaching for something to stuff into his mouth.

And chew on for a while, until his feathers were not quite as ruffled.

“But bringing it up again doesn't have any benefit for anyone. It happened. You've apologized. I've tried to move past it. Besides…” He looked off into the dark, past the city, towards the ocean. “It doesn't really matter anymore anyways: I don't know if I'm going back. So many years of my life have been spent traveling, I've never had the chance for any roots to take hold. But now that I'm here…and for once everything feels like it's starting to fall into place… I'm afraid how much it will hurt to pull them out.”

[11/20]
 

MissMisnomer

Omnipresent Browser


Miss Chief aka Uke

Rainbow Fairy

PostPosted: Fri Feb 23, 2018 7:24 pm
Despite how Sajah felt, and despite how reasonably lightly it had come off on first brush, it became clear after, watching his face, that there was still real lingering upset there, and Sajah frowned, dropping his eyes away. He knew what he’d done wasn’t favorable. It couldn’t possibly have been expected to be taken well, except that at the time, Leu hadn’t mattered. In the spinning confusion of that night, he had been nothing Sajah expected or had been ready for, and he had been — beautiful, charming, mad in his boldness, but all the more alluring for it somehow — but still a stranger who he had never expected to see again.

He had stolen from Leukos for Nyko.

And now…

He sighed and shook his head. «I will pay you back…» The thought had occurred to him before, and he had already intended it—it was just a matter of earning the money again himself, and he wasn’t, admittedly, sure how much he had stolen to begin with. But it didn’t matter. He owed that to the man and so much more. «Everything I took, and more, when I earn it…I just don’t have it now, and I don’t expect you want me to take it from someone else for your sake.»

At the latter commentary, however, he blinked, and—he supposed he hadn’t realized there still was possibility Leukos would leave. The feelings inspired at the thought of him going elsewhere however—made Sajah frown at himself, mostly. They were friends. He was gradually building a life for himself here. He oughtn’t feel dependent.

But goddess, he didn’t want Leukos to go anywhere. Not now. Perhaps not ever. He would have to cope with that feeling eventually. But for this moment, the man wasn’t going anywhere, and it didn’t seem wrong to say: «I hope you stay. The stars here are more beautiful with you under them.» He hesitated only a moment before adding, «And I think that I would miss you if you left…»  
PostPosted: Fri Feb 23, 2018 8:16 pm

It was hard connecting those two different people to the same face. The boy sitting beside him, who'd bought dinner for him, earning a place of affection in his heart over the weeks they'd been together ; and the mute thief who'd betrayed his trust, taking all the money in the world he'd ever had after one delirious night together, leaving him stranded completely alone in a strange land with nothing to his name.

But they were the same person. And at times, he forgot that. Like it had all been a bad dream, and now he was really awake. This felt like the real Sajahka. It was.

But it also wasn't: he hoped that it wasn't only because of his own insistence of it that Saj wasn't living a life of crime anymore. But he had no real way of knowing. He still knew so little about him.

Some friend Leukos was.

“Thank you, but it's something I'm going to have to really think on. They've been the closest thing to a family for me. I'd like to hope that they miss me, but maybe they're relieved that I'm not causing drama anymore, as I am want to do, for no lack of trying.”

Leu puffed through his lips, shuffling down to lay on his side, cheek propped on his knuckles. “But I don't want to go just yet. I feel like there are things that need to be taken care of...things I can learn here.” He poked Saj's thigh, then proceeded to put another date in his mouth. “Like you. I still feel like even though we live together, I know barely anything about you. Which is ridiculous.”

He hummed, tipping his chin up. “We need to fix that. Tell me something that you like, and something you dislike. And then I'll tell you one of mine.”

[12/20]
 

MissMisnomer

Omnipresent Browser


Miss Chief aka Uke

Rainbow Fairy

PostPosted: Sat Feb 24, 2018 4:11 am
Thank you, but it’s something I’m going to have to really think on…

Sajahka averted his gaze and repressed the instinct to frown. It was a natural answer. And his desperation was probably unflattering. It made sense that Leukos missed what he had, no matter how stable he was here—and there was no reason to believe he personally would be any reason for the man to stay. That seemed to have been half the point of the lesson he’d learned many weeks ago in the water. Leukos was a good man, and he was lucky to have his aid and companionship, but he needed to not depend upon it.

Even friends went their separate ways at times.

He just didn’t want to think about it.

«I am sure anyone who knew you well enough to miss you when you were gone would.»

When Leukos shifted, though, turning to lay sidelong, Sajah eyed him—and blinked at the attention. I barely know anything about you. Could that be true? Perhaps it was, now that he thought on it, since he had a similar sentiment about Leukos: he felt both somehow simultaneously that he knew the man well and—almost not at all. He knew his character to a far greater extent, he thought, than he knew anything about his life, history, interests or personal preferences.

So, the sentiment that followed was welcome, if unanticipated, and he had to take a moment to think. Something — anything — he liked and disliked? It was such a broad category. What to even list? But, since it seemed to be a trading game, there might well be more exchanges after. He just had to pick something of interest on the first round.

I like b—w j—bs.’ He squinted. ‘I like you?’ More creativity seemed necessary. Or, if not creativity, then at least something Leukos didn’t already know, since learning was the point of the game.

«I like foods with especially strong smells…it helps me to ‘taste’ more and add some variance to the process of eating. I dislike…» Goddess, there were so many things. Start simple, and informative. «I dislike mess. I have never owned enough to make a mess with it and it seems to me that one should only make claim to as many things as they are willing to take proper care of and keep in order. Excess is wasteful.»  
PostPosted: Sun Feb 25, 2018 10:12 am

Leukos took the bread, cutting himself a thick slice as Saj considered his answers to the question. He peeled apart the wax paper wrapping that they'd bought with it, spreading a dollop of thick cream across the brown bread.

“You should like garlic then, I'd imagine, since it's one of the smelliest things of all.” He took a bite, humming. “I wonder how you'd react to spicy food? Would you still have the same reaction, since you have no taste buds? We should test that out some time, I'll ask the guys at work if they have any recommendations for dishes here that are especially tear-inducing.”

He might have guessed that Saj disliked messes. With the lackluster way he presented himself, and general laid back attitude, he'd initially been worried that Sajahka would be a challenge to live with. But blessedly, he seemed to be a very neat person, and very rarely left things out of order. It was a great relief, to say the least.

But now it was his turn.

Something he didn't know yet…

“I like the sound crisp fruit makes when you bite into it. The mist of juice can get rather sticky, but I just find it so satisfying. And usually, that means the fruit is at the perfect state of ripeness.”

“And something I dislike…” he bit, munching on his slice as he thought. “Incense. Generally, I like to smell things that, well…smell good. But I find incense way too overwhelming. And the combination with the smoke, which tends to irritate my nose, usually just muddles whatever it was supposed to be releasing anyways.” He scrunched his nose, frowning. “If I WANTED to smell cardamom and cinnamon, I'd SMELL cardamom and cinnamon, not someone BURNING it. That's all I'm saying: it seems redundant.”

[13/20]
 

MissMisnomer

Omnipresent Browser


Miss Chief aka Uke

Rainbow Fairy

PostPosted: Sun Feb 25, 2018 10:56 am
Garlic.

Sajah hummed, curious. He wasn’t sure he’d ever had the opportunity for garlic—but, he was certainly always open to trying things, especially flavors. He had little to lose, after all. Few truly bothered him. It was more a matter of trying to find things that stood out enough to be notable and less boring. So, the concept of experimentation was encouraging and appealing.

«I look forward to testing it,» he said. «Spices do not usually bother me, but they often do help add something. I think I’d appreciate the challenge.» At Leukos’ revelation in turn, Sajah found himself smiling. It was a satisfying thing, and though he couldn’t fully appreciate taste, he could appreciate texture, sound, scent—all of these were involved in a good bite into properly ripened fruit.

Incense.

He raised an eyebrow, lip quirking up at a corner with interest. It wasn’t something he would have expected. Most people, so far as he knew anyway, considered it a ‘soothing’ thing. But Leukos was evidently decided on this front, and his teeth flashed briefly.

«I like dancing, but I am not as good at it as you are. I’d like to be better…it seems to be a good way to appreciate music and a moment, and expend energy at the same time.» He reached, plucking up a few nuts and mulling over his thoughts before popping them in his mouth to free his hands. «I dislike…» There were so many options, but all of them seemed obvious, and he felt a need to find something more finite and telling. «Too much quiet. I am accustomed to it, but I think anyone who might have time to think on it would assume that since I am so, I like it that way…but I enjoy being around other people and being a part of their noise. It is…invigorating, and sometimes I wish I could contribute more to it.»  
PostPosted: Sun Feb 25, 2018 11:47 am

Too much quiet…

Leukos felt a little pinch in his gut of something vaguely resembling…shame. He'd been one of those people: he'd thought Sajah was perfectly content in silence. His personality was just so mellow, and he didn't make…well...a lot of noise. His smiles came often. And it wasn't like he never laughed, or snorted humorously; you didn't need a tongue to make those basic noises. But maybe Saj just did it so sparingly, that he'd thought…

Leukos would just have to endeavor to make him laugh more.

But the serious nature of his choice of answers left Leukos feeling a bit childish; his own responses seemed rudimentary and noncommittal in comparison. He'd wanted to get to know him better, and icebreakers you'd use in a party with a bunch of people you'd never met and never intended to speak to again hardly felt appropriate for that.

And though Leukos was not fond of delving too deeply into himself around others, he figured it was only right that he went a bit deeper than just wiggling his toes at the surface.

He reached for the bottle, taking a drink before contributing his part. “I like touching people. That may sound weird, or perverse, when spoken out of context, but I can't think of a better way to say it.” He twirled the neck of the bottle between his fingers, watching idly as the liquid sloshed against the walls inside.

“When I was younger, I was not given as many opportunities for making physical contact with other people. It's something I only appreciated as I grew older. It doesn't have to be very much; even just brushing my fingers against someone's skin is enough. But it makes them feel more solid, like they are really there…”

Leukos tapped his fingers against the glass. “But I don't really like people touching my neck. I do not mind everywhere else, especially if I am close to the person, but my neck…has just always been an exception.” He looked up at Saj, smiling quietly as he touched the gold band around his neck. “It's quite odd, really: I do not mind shirts, or chokers, anything else being there. It's not a sensitive spot, it doesn't hurt. I just don't like when people do it, no matter how gently. Weird, isn't it?”

[14/20]
 

MissMisnomer

Omnipresent Browser


Miss Chief aka Uke

Rainbow Fairy

PostPosted: Sun Feb 25, 2018 12:17 pm
I like touching people.

Sajah resisted the urge to raise an eyebrow, for — well — he might have guessed that much. But he listened instead as Leu spoke, and as the rest of the words came, unfolding with explanation and insight—they were more serious, and satisfying in that way, than he might have expected on initiation. It made sense, made Sajah wonder at the circumstances of Leukos’ youth, and—well, still admittedly made him want to touch himself, even if just to bump them lightly together.

He could relate to the feeling of just wanting something, someone real there and securing presence with contact. Sometimes there was a deep emptiness that came with silence and the space between himself and what felt like the rest of the entire world that he distinctly didn’t want. Touch was reassuring, and grounding. Even when nothing else could be said, there was a form of communication in it. He debated before admitting:

«When I was much younger, early after losing my tongue, before I had my language, I would feel…alone in a way I had not experienced before, for I could not communicate my feelings with anyone. There was an older slave woman among those in my work sector who would sometimes hold me at night…» So that his crying would not keep awake the other slaves. He frowned. «It…helped just to be in contact with someone alive and have that communication of presence…» His gaze flit to Leu, and then down. «Touch is good.»

At the latter admittance, Sajahka had to wonder what had inspired such an aversion—and found, in spite of himself, though he oughtn’t and it wasn’t even his place, that a part of him immediately wanted to be the one who inspired an exception. I could help you like it… But just as immediately, he tamped down the thought, dismissing it with irritation at himself. Some friend he was.

«It is curious,» he signed at length. «And good to know.»

Which left him, though, tagged and up for revelations.

«I like watching people and things wake up.» Only after the words were already signed did he flush, squinting to consider if this was more of an odd thing than he had given it credit for, and he felt the need to further explain himself. «I wake early, often, and I like to do so before dawn and watch a day come awake and people begin to stir as the air warms. I think it is a beautiful thing to watch the tipping point as a moment comes alive and light begins to fill up a city or a space…and people have the most honest faces before they are awake enough to be otherwise.»

He debated, taking up the bottle. They were making good progress, he noted, and he could now solidly feel the warm buzz in his system and the slight relaxation it leant to his muscles. But not so much so that it felt impairing or likely to make either of them make ridiculous choices. If anything, given their relative sizes, it was likely he was feeling the effects more than Leukos. After a very modest sip this time, since he didn’t feel he needed much more, he set it aside to speak.

«I dislike losing, at anything. I will compete with myself if there is no better or more available competition, and then become frustrated with myself if I cannot beat my own standards.» He flashed a bit of a grin. «But I enjoy a good challenge just the same and like to think I could endure a hundred losses for the sake of eventual victory.»  
PostPosted: Sun Feb 25, 2018 1:29 pm

Leukos proceeded to pick at the fish they'd bought, watching with increasing investment as Saj explained himself as well. This was nice. They'd never really ‘talked’ before. Sure, they did. But not like this. Perhaps Leukos had been so intent on making himself something that Sajah would not feel inspired to chase anymore - keeping their exchanges light and friendly, spending time with his own boyfriend while Saj occupied himself with finding his own - that he'd unintentionally set up a wall between the pair.

And now, they were working at taking it apart.

I like watching people and things wake up.

That had Leukos pause, fingers halfway to his mouth as he squinted skeptically at Sajahka. That was…a weird thing to say. He couldn't help calling to mind the very obvious differences between their sleeping patterns, and how often Leukos himself was a late riser. Saj was usually awake before him. Did he always watch him…

But as he delved deeper into it, clearly catching on how off putting that had come across, Leukos felt the hairs on the back of his neck lay to rest once again. It was still, an interesting pastime. But, he could see the appeal. He was more of a sunset man himself, but to each their own.

Sajahka went further into his part of their exchange, and again Leukos was not as surprised as he could have been. It was obvious Saj was a persistent person. He couldn't recall ever seeing him give up at any task, and he certainly seemed the type to enjoy a competition. It suited him.

Leukos grinned back, laying down completely with his face turned towards the stars. “That's something we have in common then. I've always been my greatest rival; nothing ever seems like it's good enough. I've tried to get better about letting myself accept my own shortcomings over the years, as I've been known to take it to unhealthily obsessive levels, but that pull towards perfection is always there.”

“And, well, on that note, I guess…I like organizing things. There's something immensely satisfying about putting things in their proper order. And it's not just my own possessions: I enjoy grouping things in the word together, and categorizing abstract ideas…I find it very therapeutic. Making lists could be included in that as well, I suppose.” He puffed out a bit of a laugh, shrugging. “It's just one of the many ways I try to keep order in my life. I've been told I need to relax more: I can see where people might get that impression.”

Closing his eyes, he tucked his arms behind his head, sighing. “The more I understand, the more I can be prepared to meet the challenges that come with any new circumstance. But it's impossible to know everything that might happen, and prepare for it.” Looking up at the stars again, he pointed, drawing lines between the twinkling points of light. “I don't like losing control. Over anything. Everything.”

[15/20]
 

MissMisnomer

Omnipresent Browser


Miss Chief aka Uke

Rainbow Fairy

PostPosted: Sun Feb 25, 2018 2:04 pm
Sajahka watched as Leukos took in his words and then moved, shifting to lay back completely—and then came the words, and Saj snorted, still sitting up himself as he eyed Leu’s upturned face. Accept my own shortcomings… He supposed it wasn’t actually surprising. There was likely no way Leukos could have attained the levels of grace and skill he clearly possessed without intense dedication no matter how naturally talented he might have been. It simply took effort, in massive amounts, to make anything involving concentrated skill look effortless. But Leukos managed it, and given what Sajah had seen of the man’s attitude, it wasn’t surprising to note that he found fault in himself no matter what heights he achieved.

It probably drove him all the more.

Sajahka reached, plucking up and finishing off his last hunk of bread and portion of his own fish wrap as he turned his gaze skyward, letting the warm in his belly settle. This was nice, he decided. Calm. Clean. Informative. Personal, but not so much so that it hurt, and he enjoyed having conversation more meaningful than surface level, particularly with the man he had now lived with for some time.

He understood why Leukos threw up whatever barriers he had. Neither of them, but particularly Sajahka, wanted to deal with unnecessary pullings at the heartstrings or want for anything more than what could reasonably occur. He had no interest in being further disappointed. And, despite his drunken verbiage, Leukos had never followed through on his rambling insistences that he might want something ‘else.’

So, Sajah had taken his dismissal to heart. He had and was pursuing other interests and focuses for his time—but that didn’t make this moment any less his, nor did it make Leukos any less important than he already was to him. No number of pretty boyfriends could rob him of this or deprive him of the chance to learn more about the man when given the opportunity.

Organizing.

He glanced down, multi-hued eyes warm with amusement. «You are obsessively finicky and stiff at times. It might do you well to relax. But…» He probably shouldn’t have, he thought it as he reached, but it didn’t stop him from taking two fingers, catching and tucking away at a stray strand of long black hair. «It does make for a tightly kept ship…and, as I think I have noted, you make such a glorious scene when things go out of line…»

Losing control.

Sajah gave a soft scoff—but managed to withhold more than that, and his expression remained gently curious as he watched Leukos trace star patterns, because — while he understood the sentiment-

«Do you really believe any of us have control?»

Here they were, sitting under an open sky with more endless universes overhead than they could possibly comprehend, the bricks under their bodies were put there by hands they couldn’t possibly identify at this point belonging to persons with entire lives they would never know. Kings — hundreds of kings, dead and alive — had gone through history trying to ‘control’ and only managing so much, warring with one another, costing thousands upon thousands of lives. The very wind that skirted around them was absolutely beyond anyone’s control but perhaps a mage, who would have to expend great personal energy just to temporarily exert ‘control’ over a very small section for a finite period of time.

«Over our own choices, maybe,» Sajah signed. «But even that…is limited by what is put before us, and by the actions of others, and all of us are outnumbered one against the rest of the universe…» He shook his head. «We control almost nothing. The world is chaos and anarchy, vast beyond anything we could hope to even appreciate let alone dictate. We are just left to make the most of it and enjoy what we can, chase our desires…and perhaps make ourselves a memorable part of the path forward for whoever we might encounter along the way.»  
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