Danny & Cameron

[Riku Redeemed]

~Intro~

I don't really recall if they were the first gay characters I ever made. I always liked writing my own stories ever since third grade or so and I remember we had to write a story and read it to the class and I made mine into a little hardback book using the cardboard from a Cheerios box and drew pictures on paper and glued it to the cardboard and everybody clapped when I read mine in class. After moving to the new middle-high school I was still writing my own stories. In 5th and 6th grade they were still about unicorns and such, and around 7th grade I started writing about human characters for the first time, and in 8th grade I wrote my first story about two boys instead of a boy and girl. I believe the first story were some other characters of mine.

I think Danny and Cameron came in around 9th grade when things were really hard for me. It was a long long long time ago but I remember I strongly identified with those characters and they were very important to me. Around 10th grade or something I think is when I got into YuGiOh, and then decided I didn't want to write about real-life settings anymore because I'd never been to those places and felt like all the research in the world couldn't make up for not actually being there in person. I didn't want people to read the stories and be like "Well I'm really from such-n-such and you got it wrong" and so forth. So I started writing fantasy, where I could make up everything completely how I wanted from scratch with no research or experience needed.

But Danny and Cameron still remained important enough to me, even though I didn't write about them anymore, that when I decided to change my name to a man's name I used their names, and began to think of them as "two sides of myself" or something. For a while it was kind of strange to have their names be my names. I guess it never really mattered what my name was as long as it was a man's name and never put a lot of thought into who I really was myself, or maybe Danny was how I really wanted myself to be, or something.

I find it ironic that the characters I took my new name from are no longer written about or even mentioned and most people don't know they exist. I was thinking about it this morning and thought about making them RP characters, maybe to replace my current 'self characters', or at least writing down their original story. I decided to put it here while it's still fresh in my mind, and then later I can go back and make adjustments as needed if I want to use it for an RP.  

[Riku Redeemed]

The Story of Danny and Cameron

Originally, Cameron was 19. He's in college studying to be a teacher. He lives by himself. Originally he lived in a little house, but now that I know more about the world it's more likely he lives in an apartment or a college dorm, and also he could be slightly older, like 20 or 21. He's an ordinary middle class guy, not rich but not poor. He can afford to buy the things he wants. His car was a white Ford Taurus in the original story, just a plain ordinary car that gets him from Point A to Point B without trouble. The clothes he wears are like GAP and American Eagle and stuff like that; he's kind of somewhat preppy. He has green eyes and light brown hair that is parted up the middle and slightly curled, but cut short and tidy on the backs and sides. He wears glasses. He has an ordinary average build, being slightly chunky; he's not fat but he's not skinny and he doesn't have any visible muscle tone anywhere. His original height was 5'10", just an average ordinary guy, although nowadays I would consider making him a little shorter, maybe 5'8" or 5'9". The general idea is that there is really nothing particularly special about him at all, he's just ordinary.

His personality is very polite, shy, humble, meek, etc, with low self esteem and low self confidence. He tends to be quiet and awkward. He tries to just blend in with the crowd and hope everyone ignores him, and he generally succeeds and that's exactly what people do. He's gay but he doesn't want anybody to know that. He's terrified of what people would think about him.

He lives in a large city and one day he ends up in the eh, rougher side of town. He's trying to get somewhere and he ends up lost. It's dark, around 9PM or something, and he sees someone standing on the sidewalk and slows down to a stop next to them to ask this person for directions. If he'd grown up in the city, he'd know better than to do this, but he's a dumb idiot, probably because he's from the country/grew up in a small town so he has no manner of street smarts. He slows down in the street and rolls down his window, calling out to the person on the sidewalk, probably something like "Um, excuse me!"

The guy on the street comes over and leans down with his arms crossed on the passenger side car window, looking in at him. Originally Danny was 16, but was so mature and so tall that you'd be shocked to learn he's that young. Cameron doesn't realize he's that young when he first sees him. Danny is somewhere around 6'2" at the least and 6'4" at the most, and has jet black hair in a basic crew cut kind of style, where it's really short on the back and sides and slightly longer on top and the top kind stands up a little bit, etc, and has the bluest eyes that Cameron has ever seen in his life. They are just amazing blue that pops out at you, not washed out and grey like a lot of people have, etc. His skin is darker than Cameron's, like he's got a really nice full-body tan or like a Hispanic person or something, etc. He has sexy arm muscles and sexy abs and a sexy chest and so on, like a model. In the original story he had several tattoos, with one of them being a strand of barbed wire around his throat (kind of wrapped around his neck like a necklace, and it goes across his Adam's apple) and one being a black dragon on his hand (I remember meeting up with Amanda and Dustin and some other people at the carnival in Granstville and talking to this dude I'd never really talked to much before (but it was just me and him, I think Amanda/Dustin were gone and we were walking to them or something) and told him about this tattoo, and then a few years later Dustin was at Amanda's birthday party talking about that guy and the cool dragon tattoo he got on his hand in that exact place and I was like WTF HE DID WHAT!?!?). Nowadays I don't know if I would keep the original designs, but it also feels pointless to change a character that looked that way eons ago and you've never written about them since. Danny wore tight jeans and chains and such and was basically just extremely jaw-dropping sexy, leaning on Cameron's window and looking in at him with his startling blue eyes.  

[Riku Redeemed]

Cameron stares at him like a dumbass for a few seconds, then starts to awkwardly ask how to get to such-n-such street, and Danny just opens the passenger side door and gets in his car. When Danny gets in he says "You should lock your door when you talk to people on the street or some stranger might jump in your car and then who knows what they'd do to you. They could have a gun or something."

And Cameron nearly freaks and starts to protest this, but Danny interrupts and says, while craning his neck out the passenger side window, "Come on, let's go, you're holding up traffic."

So then Cameron has to drive off because it's the city and people are rude and impatient and blowing their horns at him and shouting, etc. He's lost with no idea where he's going and now he has this strange guy in his car. He's all stiff and nervous and having an anxiety attack, etc.

Then Danny says, "I couldn't just stand there by your window or the cops would notice. You've never done this before have you?"

Cameron doesn't know what to say and is quite embarrassed and slightly terrified, wondering what cops have to do with innocently asking for directions and how that would be illegal, etc. He says, "Well, no, I've never been lost before. I just moved here a week ago."

Danny starts laughing, which makes Cameron even more awkward because he doesn't know what's so funny, and says, "You're lost?"

Cameron says, "Well, yes, I'm trying to get to (whatever street)," and starts explaining where he's going and where he thinks he went wrong and showing Danny the paper with the directions he's trying to follow and Danny thinks this is hilarious and just laughs for a while, trying to read the paper with the directions on it.

Danny comments that where Cameron is trying to get to is nowhere near this area and he's way off track, and tells him to go here and there and that etc and Cameron is like whoa what wait back up, and Danny says, "This is why I couldn't stand by your window. It would take forever to tell you how to get there so I'll just go with you. Turn off here."

Cameron doesn't really have time to argue with this and just starts turning where Danny tells him to. He's still scared stiff and nervous and shaking, etc.

Danny starts rambling at him, asking his name and where he's from and what he's doing on this side of town, etc, and Cameron gives short shaky awkward answers. Cameron is quiet but Danny talks all the time, and is charming with a great smile and a sense of humor and he manages to make Cameron laugh in spite of how tense and afraid he is. Cameron starts to relax slightly.

They get to wherever Cameron was trying to find. Cameron gets out to do whatever it was he came to do while Danny waits in the car, but since he got lost, he wasted so much time that the building is closed now. He comes back to the car feeling embarrassed and gets back in. Danny says, "Hey, at least you know how to get there now, right?"

And Cameron says "Well, yes, that's true. I hope so, anyway."

Danny says it's no big deal, Cameron can find it now so he can just come back tomorrow, and Cameron is afraid he'll get lost all over again. Cameron gets upset easily and worries to death about things. Danny just laughs at him and smiles and says if Cameron needs to find it again, he can just come find Danny, and he'll give him directions again.

They laugh a bit and then the conversation dies down to an awkward silence, and Cameron asks Danny, "Well, so, where should I take you?"

Danny says, "I just assumed you were taking me home with you."

Cameron, used to Danny's humor at this point, assumes this is a joke and laughs a little and says, "But seriously though."

Danny says, "Or a hotel is fine, whatever. I'm not picky." Cameron just stares at him, having no idea what he's talking about, so he continues, "You picked me up so you decide."

Cameron, still confused, says, "I'm so sorry for bothering you. I meant to just ask for directions but then you got in and wanted to ride with me so I drove you all the way out here. If you want I can drive you back, I just wanted to know where to drop you off."

Danny laughs at him again and Cameron still doesn't understand what is so damn funny about it, but he also has low self esteem and just assumes Danny is making fun of him or something. Cameron is aware that he's not the smartest person around.

Danny says, "Did you seriously only pick me up to ask me for directions?"

Cameron says, "Well, yes, why else would I have stopped?"

Danny laughs again.

Cameron is still confused.

Danny says, after a moment, "You don't even know what I am, do you?"

Cameron stares at him for a moment. "What do you mean?" and Danny just raises his hands and his eyebrows and waits for it to sink in, which it does when Cameron slowly says, "Wait, you're not a... are you... no, really? What? Really!? Ohhhh I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry!" He nearly dies of embarrassment and turns red as creation with his face in his hands and nearly hyperventilates from anxiety and keeps going on apologizing, while Danny sits and laughs at him, pretty much in tears from laughing at this point.

Danny says, "What are you apologizing to me for!?" and Cameron is still babbling into his hands in humiliation, "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to pick you up, I just wanted directions! I didn't know you were gonna get in! I'm so sorry!"

Danny is slouched in the passenger side of the car with his elbow on the window and legs everywhere completely relaxed, his bright blue eyes twinkling from genuine amusement, and says, "You are so damned cute."

Cameron gets all awkward, because he's gay but doesn't want anyone to know that, and has never had a guy hit on him before. He's not sure how Danny means that and isn't sure how to respond. He just gets quiet and sits with his hands in his lap, staring at the steering wheel, sitting upright and stiff with his seat belt on. He wants it to be a genuine compliment but he thinks Danny is just joking again, and why would someone that fun and beautiful be giving him real compliments when he's so plain and ordinary and boring?

Danny notices and says, "You're probably straight, aren't you?"

Cameron doesn't know what to say. He's used to lying to people, but he lies to straight people. He's never had a gay person take interest in him before and isn't sure it's okay to admit it about himself to someone who feels the same way he does or not.

Danny goes on, "I don't care if you are, you're cute anyway. And I can just get out here, it doesn't matter." He opens the car door.

Cameron suddenly feels like he doesn't want this guy to leave. He's afraid he'll never see him again, but he doesn't know what to say to him either. All he can think of is, "Thank you so much! I don't think I could have gotten here without you."

Danny looks back at him. "Can you find your way home from here?"

"Yes, I'm back where I belong now," Cameron says. "Thank you so much."

Danny smiles at him and gets out of the car. He closes the door and leans down to look in the window at him. "Lock your doors from now on," he says. "Stop letting random strangers into your car. It's a good way to get shot or stabbed or raped or something."

"Yes, I will," Cameron says, still hopelessly humiliated and afraid that he looks like a complete failure of a dweeb in front of this guy, fiddling with his hands and avoiding eye-contact.

"I mean it," Danny says. "Be careful. 'Cause if somebody did something to you I'd have to go find them and beat them up, and I ain't got time for that."

Cameron laughs again. He doesn't remember the last time he laughed this much in one night.

Danny says in parting, "Remember, you're beautiful and the world needs you. Stay true to yourself." He makes a peace sign with his fingers and smiles at him and just walks away. He looks back once to wave farewell and then leaves, taking his fantastic blue-jean a** with him on long strong strides. He seems so perfectly confident, like the world can't hurt him and he always knows exactly who he is and where he is and what he's doing.

Cameron waves good-bye and sits there watching him. He wants to cry because nobody has ever said such nice things to him before and he desperately wants to be with another guy who feels the way he does, to no longer feel like some weird ugly outcast that's going to Hell, and he really liked this random stranger and wants to be friends with him but doesn't know how to go about doing that. He's so lonely with so few friends and none of them are close enough to know the truth about him. But is it okay to be friends with prostitutes? Danny probably says stuff like that to everybody he's with, and probably AIDS or something anyway. Cameron sits in his car for a while reflecting on things.  

[Riku Redeemed]

Cameron goes back to his normal college life, back to everyone ignoring him and blending in with the walls and quietly doing his work, etc. Back to pretending to be straight but he's so weak and meek and subdued that everyone seems to know the moment they look at him. He's always afraid and embarrassed and alone and has no confidence in himself. When he goes home after class, he doesn't want to go back to his empty apartment and just sit there alone studying like he always does every night. Last night was so exciting and adventurous and out of the ordinary, and the place was closed yesterday so he didn't get to do what he went there for. He does still need to go do that, so he gets in his car, but as he's driving he gets to the place where he made the wrong turn. He wants to just drive by the place where he saw Danny yesterday. He doesn't really expect him to be there, but kind of hopes he is. He'd like to just see him again out the window as he drives by.

When Cameron goes down that street, Danny really is there. There's some other people there, too. Cameron sees Danny but doesn't intend to stop. If Danny were alone, he could feel tempted to stop and say hi, but not with all those other people there. Social anxiety acts up and he decides to just pass by unnoticed, blending into the scenery and being invisible like usual. When he sees Danny his heart speeds up and he gets excited. He's really starting to develop a huge crush on this person and really wants to be with him but he doesn't know how to do that.

Danny spots him and waves at him. He leaves the other people and walks to the edge of the sidewalk with his arm stretched out over his head and a big bright smile like Cameron is his old friend or something. Cameron's first reaction is he thinks Danny is flagging him down. After he slows he realized Danny was probably just waving to say hello and that's all, but he's already almost stopped now. He feels embarrassed and awkward again and most of the people in the little group turn to look at him. Danny walks toward Cameron's car, but if Danny was just waving to say hi and didn't want him to stop, then Cameron doesn't know what to say to him. He starts shaking and feels embarrassed and wants to cry, etc.

Danny leans on his window like before and says, "Are you lost again?"

"Well, yes, a little," Cameron says. He's not but he doesn't know what else to say. He doesn't want to look stupid or look like he's obsessed with this guy he just met, etc.

Danny just laughs at him and goes to open the door but Cameron really did lock the doors this time, and he waits for Cameron to lean across the passenger seat and unlock the door for him. Danny gets in and commends him for taking his advice. Some of the people in the group watch them go and Danny waves briefly at them from the window as Cameron drives away. Cameron feels completely humiliated that people saw him pick up a hooker and drive away. They'll assume he's that kind of person but he actually only stopped for directions, but no, actually, he knows where to go now and only stopped to see Danny so maybe he IS that kind of person, and he's just all stiff and tense and worrying about stuff as he drives.

Danny points out the windshield and tells Cameron where to turn and where to go, but he realizes Cameron already has his turn signal on before he says anything and that Cameron clearly knows where he's going. When they stop in front of the building, Danny says, "You weren't really lost this time, were you?"

Cameron doesn't know what to say and pretends to be in a hurry as he grabs the things he needs and goes inside. Danny waits in the car. Cameron is afraid to go back out there because he'll have to admit that he only wanted to see Danny again. He goes to the restroom to just calm his nerves and gather his thoughts. He gets an idea to just take a really long time in there, and maybe Danny will just leave and not be there when he comes back out. Someone knocks on the bathroom door and he calls out "Just a moment!" and figures he can't stand in here hogging the bathroom all day if someone else needs in, so he decides to just hang around the building a while. He opens the bathroom door and Danny is standing outside; he's the one who knocked. Cameron freezes and nearly turns to stone.

"Are you okay?" Danny asks him.

Cameron doesn't know what to say and just starts shaking and breathing faster and looking around and Danny pushes him back into the bathroom and closes the door behind him and locks it.

"Do you want to take me home?" Danny asks.

Cameron doesn't know how to answer and just wants to cry. He's fumbling with his hands again. "No," he says. "I mean not like that, not to do stuff like that, I don't do that kind of thing. But no offense or anything! I'm sorry! I wasted your time, I'm so sorry."

"Hey, it's okay," Danny says. He almost laughs. "We don't have to do stuff like that. I can just hang out with you."

Cameron wants to argue and insist that no, no, he'll just go home, he's sorry, etc, but Danny is so tall looking down at him with those ridiculous blue eyes and he's so handsome and Cameron doesn't know what to say or do and just wants to cry and disappear into a tiny hole right now.

Danny pats Cameron on the shoulder. "It's really okay," he says. "Come on, let's go. We'll watch TV or something. Do you have a TV?"

Cameron just nods stupidly because he doesn't know what else to say. Danny is guiding him out with his arm around his shoulders so he just follows. Danny goes on talking to him about what TV show they'll watch and just being totally relaxed and confident like he rules the world and there's nothing to be afraid of, and leads Cameron back out to his car and rides home with him. He talks all the way back so there's no empty silence, and he has such a clever sense of humor that Cameron laughs again in spite of how awful he feels. It's hard to feel bad around Danny because he has so much energy and vibrancy and his smile is contagious. Cameron is under the impression that Danny is older than him because he seems to know so much more about the world as if he's lived in it longer and has more experience with it.

They get to Cameron's apartment and Cameron clams up, wanting to just stay there in the car forever, but Danny gets out and starts walking inside but of course he doesn't know where to go so he shouts back at Cameron about where his apartment is, so Cameron has to scramble out and rush in after him so he won't be yelling across the parking lot making people stare, etc. They go to Cameron's apartment and he's so extremely awkward and uncomfortable and can't believe he actually brought a prostitute home with him, and he would die if anyone knew and can't believe he did such a thing and the guy will probably rob him blind or something. Cameron is a virgin and isn't sure he wants his first time to be with someone like this, in this kind of setting, for these reasons, but he does have such a huge crush on Danny by this point. It makes him sad because he realizes how pointless it is to fall in love with a prostitute.

But sex never comes up because Danny really does want to watch TV with him and is asking him about snacks and where his bathroom is and so on, and Cameron has a game console of some sort, a PlayStation or something, and they end up playing video games all night and it's like having a normal friend over, it's fun and exciting and they're laughing and it's the best time Cameron has ever had. They have similar interests and things in common and they just click and get along so great. Danny is able to make Cameron relax and stop being so shy for a while. Danny flirts with him and it's the first time Cameron has ever felt like he was attractive. He likes it and it makes him feel better about himself.

It gets late, and Cameron starts to worry about if he should invite Danny to stay the night or drive him back to the street where he picked him up. It feels weird to have him stay the night when this is the first time he's ever been over. Having a hooker visit for a few hours isn't so bad, but having him stay the night would just feel really dirty or something, even if they didn't have sex. It's just so bizarre to have a hooker sleeping on your living room couch.

Danny brings it up first and Cameron is relieved that he doesn't have to seem rude for asking. He says, "I better go, you probably wanna get some sleep."

Cameron says, "Do you want me to drive you back?"

Danny says, "No, that's okay, you don't have to. I can get around by myself."

Cameron says, "But it's so far away. I don't feel right not taking you."

Danny says, "But it's late. You have class tomorrow. You need to get some sleep."

They argue back and forth a bit but Cameron insists it's the polite thing to do and drives Danny back to the street where he picked him up. He parks this time and gets out with Danny to properly say good-bye. It's awkward and he doesn't know what to do, doesn't know whether to think of himself as Danny's friend or his customer. He gets out his wallet and starts fumbling around, and is trying so hard not to cry because he doesn't want this. He doesn't want a friend he has to pay for. He wishes he could meet a beautiful guy that just wanted to be with him for who he really is and it hurts him. He avoids eye-contact again, looking down at his wallet. His hands are shaking so hard he's having trouble getting the money out. He says, "I don't know how much, um... how much it costs to, um..."

Danny puts his hands on Cameron's and pushes his wallet and his money back to him. "You don't owe me anything," he says.

"No, this is your job and I should pay you," Cameron says. "You spent all that time with me and you could have spent it out... um, doing stuff, and you lost money because you were with me. It's like taking off work for a day and not getting paid for it so I should compensate you." It's getting harder to hold back the tears, and he's angry at himself for being so close to crying in front of someone he barely knows.

Danny takes Cameron's face and makes Cameron look up at him, and says, "I don't want your money. This was literally the best night of my life and I'm never going to forget it. I really was great. That's worth more than money."

Cameron doesn't know what to say. Danny won't leave him until he smiles again, saying things that make him laugh and wiping away his tears. "Are you gonna be okay?" he asks several times until Cameron's responses finally seem more confident. He guides Cameron back to his car. "It is completely okay to do this. You don't have to be all embarrassed over it. We didn't even do anything. Just because you bought a male hooker doesn't make you gay," he says.

It sounds like a joke and Cameron laughs a little, and then just blurts out, "I am, though." He's never ever told anyone. It's his secret that he's kept to himself for so long and now it just flies out of him on its own. It's out now, Danny is the first person to know, the secret is destroyed. He can't believe he said that.

"Really?" Danny says in surprise. Cameron doesn't know what else to do so he just nods and trembles and Danny says, "That's great because you are so hot and I was afraid I was offending you or something."

"No, it's okay. You are, too," Cameron says and immediately just wants to disappear into another dimension. No one has ever talked to plain old ordinary slightly-chunky Cam this way before so he doesn't know how to act or what to do with himself or what is the correct thing to say.

Danny looks surprised. Cameron figures surely Danny hears this all the time, looking like that, being in this line of work, it must be as normal for him to hear as "good morning." Danny does hear it a lot and normally it doesn't mean a lot to him, but he's surprised because he didn't expect Cameron to say it. He smiles at him and says, "Thank you." Cameron laughs because he realizes how silly it sounds.

"You can come back and see me any time you want," Danny says. "I mean, if you want to, it's not like you're obligated to come back or anything." He goes on about how he'd like to catch the next episode of that TV show with him and play the games again and so on. He never mentions sex but Cameron still feels like it will lead to that if he keeps inviting Danny over, so he has reservations about saying for certain that he'll be back.

They say good-bye to each other and Cameron leaves. He goes back to his ordinary college life with studying and being invisible. He starts to feel the way he usually feels, and forget how he felt with Danny. He liked feeling like he was attractive and cute and fun to be with. Now he feels ugly and boring again. He's afraid Danny is only making him feel that way so Cameron will eventually cave in and have sex with him. If Cameron has sex with him, he'll have to pay him. Then they won't be friends, they'll just be a hooker and a customer. It makes Cameron depressed.  

[Riku Redeemed]

But the apartment is so quiet and empty now. When that TV show comes on, Cameron thinks of Danny. When he thinks about playing his games, he thinks of Danny. When he sees the snacks they ate together, he thinks of Danny. He just really wishes they could be normal friends together. He sits and cries because he feels it just can't be that way. Probably everyone Danny sleeps with sits and wishes this. If Danny were going to pick one of the many people he's with to call his own, it wouldn't be plain boring slightly-chunking Cameron. He's too beautiful to fall for someone like Cam.

A few days pass. Cameron finally is just so lonely and misses that feeling so much that he doesn't care. He goes back to that street. Even if he has to pay for a friend, it's one more than he has right now. Danny is there, and he's shirtless this time, and Cameron nearly melts all over the steering wheel when he sees him. Danny recognizes Cam's white Taurus and throws up his arm, waving at him like they're old buddies and Danny doesn't care who sees him. Cameron picks him up and they go back to his apartment and laugh and play games and watch TV and Danny asks Cameron what he missed in the episodes that happened since he was over the last time and it's a lot of fun.

Cameron picks him up the next night as well. They flirt but they never actually have sex. They haven't even kissed. Danny never wants Cameron to pay him for their time together. They feel like real friends but Cameron is afraid to think of it that way. He's afraid it will be too good to be true. Nothing this amazing every happens to him.

The next time Cameron goes to pick up Danny, he's not there on the street. Cameron isn't sure what to do. He drives by, circles the block, comes back. Still nothing. He wonders if he should park somewhere and wait. Would that be weird? But he remembers what Danny's real job is, and supposes he has to actually go do that stuff at some point. He drives home alone, trying not to be bothered by it.

The next evening, Cameron drives out there again. He spots Danny on the sidewalk, but he's sitting down against the wall, staring off across the street. He always notices Cameron and jumps up and waves at him, so Cameron doesn't know what to do if Danny doesn't see him first. He slows down, but Danny still doesn't seem to be aware he's nearby. There are so many cars on the street that it's not really surprising he isn't paying attention to every single one that goes by. Some of the other people on the sidewalk notice Cameron first, and one walks over to ask him if he needs anything. Cameron assumes the guy's friendliness is because he's in the same line of work as Danny, and although he is quite pretty Cameron motions to Danny and says he just wanted to talk to him. The guy gives Cameron a knowing half-smirk, as if they all have noticed Cameron only picks up Danny. He calls over to Danny for him and finally, Danny looks in Cameron's direction.

Cameron isn't sure what he's seeing until Danny walks up to his car and leans on the window again. He has a black eye, a massive horrible bruise, and doesn't seem as confident and sure of himself as usual. He smiles at Cameron like always but it's not quite the same.

"I didn't expect you to come today," Danny says.

"Well, it's kind of our routine lately," Cameron says. "What happened to you?"

"Oh," Danny says. "Nothing, don't worry about it. I got in a fight. Trust me, he's in worse shape an I am." Danny laughs and seems like the same old Danny, but something is just a little off, just a little shaken, and Cameron just feels sad.

Cameron invites him into his car and Danny seems to hesitate instead of jumping right in. He does come but he sits down slowly and not in his usual position. It seems to Cameron that he's being unusually careful and gentle about it, and slouches more than normal. Cameron pieces together what must have really happened and he feels terrible. He starts shaking and feeling upset as he drives back to his apartment. Danny tries to joke and ramble on like he normally does, and laughs and smiles and does everything he can to convince Cameron that he's fine. Cameron doesn't buy it, and asks again later what really happened. Danny says again that he was in a fight, and assures Cameron that he won, regardless of how he looks tonight. When they arrive at Cameron's apartment, the first thing Danny does is go to the bathroom and he doesn't come out for a while. Cameron sits alone in the kitchen wondering if he should call 911 or something, but what would he say? Danny comes back and insists they just watch TV and eat snacks like usual and just don't worry about it, but he doesn't seem to like sitting on the couch. He prefers to stand and lean over the back, and when he does sit, he shifts his weight on one side.

Cameron asks Danny to stay the night for the first time. His apartment only has one bedroom so he leaves Danny on the couch. At first Danny refuses and says he really is fine, don't worry, etc, but Cameron insists. Cameron also tries to give him money this time and won't take no for an answer. Finally, Danny takes the money and sleeps on the couch.

Cameron gets up the next morning to find Danny is gone. He left a note behind, and Cameron's money. The note continues to assure Cameron that he is fine, don't worry about him, and he doesn't need any money.

When Cameron drives by the street again that night, Danny isn't there. He isn't there the next night either, or the next, or the next. After several nights, Cameron finally gathers the nerve to ask some of the other guys there where Danny is. They tell him Danny is gone. They don't say where he went or why, just that he doesn't come here anymore. Cameron can't get any more information than that. He drives around the city hoping to see Danny standing on another street somewhere, but he never does. Days turn into weeks and then into months. There is no sign of him at all.

Cameron worries all the time about what really happened. He's angry at himself for not calling 911 that night. He doesn't know where Danny really lives. Danny would never tell him. Cameron isn't able to find him or find out anything about him. Nobody else knows that one random hooker guy with the blue eyes who stood on the street every night. There's a thousand others like that and he's not particularly special from anyone else's point of view. Cameron tries to find out information about the kind of work Danny was doing. He learns a lot of sad facts about how most of them are teenage runaways who got mixed up with that stuff because there was nothing else they could do to stay alive, and how most of them are homeless, and most of them were sexually abused and lost respect for themselves and that's why they let other people use them; sex isn't special to them anymore, it's just a way to make money, and why should it be special when your first experience was being abused as a child? He learns most of them end up on drugs, and many of them die young from overdoses, STDs or being attacked by the people they cater to.

Cameron starts to worry that this is the kind of life that Danny had, that he's out there homeless somewhere, with no money and nowhere to live and nobody who cares about him. He starts to volunteer at homeless shelters and soup kitchens and stuff like that, helping out homeless people and such, bringing them blankets and whatnot at Christmas time, and so forth. If Danny is out there somewhere, he hopes that somehow his efforts and the money he donates will help him, even if he never sees him again. He feels sick inside and cries at night, afraid that Danny isn't anywhere anymore, that he's already met up with a horrible end. Cameron starts to hate himself for not taking him in and making Danny stay with him forever. All those nights Cameron didn't pay him is money Danny didn't have, and that money was all he had to survive on; even if Danny told him not to pay him anything, Cam should have made him take the money anyway. Cameron feels like it's his fault that Danny disappeared, because he was too ashamed and selfish to pay him like other people do. He wanted a friend he didn't have to buy, and Danny seemed to want that too, but maybe everything would have been better if they did have that sort of relationship after all.  

[Riku Redeemed]

A few years go by and Cameron starts to generally give up any real hope that he'll ever see Danny again. He begins to accept what probably happened. In memory of his friend, he continues to volunteer to help homeless people. He spends his free time at a homeless shelter serving them free food and whatnot. He sees many old, haggard, smelly people, often half-drunk, often half-crazy, in tatty old clothes, avoiding eye-contact with him. One of them is a man with long black hair, down to his shoulders, greasy and stringy, with a straggly black beard, walking around wrapped in a thin stained blanket as if it were a cloak. He has a deep scar on his face, from his forehead to his his cheek. Cameron makes a point not to stare at people, so when the man comes through the line, Cameron serves him his food and says hello like he does to everyone. The man says "Thank you," and takes the Styrofoam container as he passes by. He doesn't take a napkin so Cameron calls after him. The man looks back at him with the bluest eyes that Cameron has ever seen.

Cameron stands for a moment just looking at him. The longer he looks, the more familiar this person seems, and when he thinks of how that deep husky "Thank you" sounded a moment ago his heart begins to break. "Danny?" he asks in a wavering voice.

The man responds with a slight turn of his head, wondering how Cameron would know his name, and Cameron bursts into tears. He forgets all about his job of serving food and comes toward his long-lost friend. They move aside out of everyone's way and Cameron can't believe this moment really game. He'd always hoped he'd find Danny here and thinks that is a lot of the reason he started volunteering, but always expected Danny to walk in looking the way he looked back then. It really is him, but he's lost his energy and enthusiasm, and doesn't like to look Cameron in the eye. He keeps looking away and is very quiet, saying only a few words, "It's good to see you again." "I've been okay." "I missed you, too."

Cameron takes him home. It's the same old apartment. Danny doesn't really remember it. Cameron shows him around all over again, like he did that first night, and remembers the jokes Danny made about this chair or that painting, but this new Danny with the scruffy beard is much quieter, and doesn't look directly at him anymore. Cameron shows him to the bathroom where he can take a shower and borrow Cameron's soap and razors and anything else he wants. Cameron is so happy to have his friend back, but so devastated to see how much he's changed.

Danny makes use of the bathroom and is in there for a long time. Cameron is left sitting on the living room couch, thinking of how things were and how they may never be that way again. Danny is like a stranger again. Too much time has passed, they barely know each other, and what they do remember of each other is not the same anymore. It's almost like this is just another person with the same name, and not the guy Cameron once knew.

Danny emerges from the bathroom quietly, and Cameron looks up to see that he has shaved, and without the scruffy beard Cameron can see the faded barbed wire tattoo around his neck. It really is the same person, but he's lost all his sexy muscle tone. He's skin and bones now, with long thin arms. His hair is long and flowing, now that it's clean for a change, and hangs down around his shoulders. The scar on his face is deep. He looks haggard and tired and worn out, but his eyes are still that incredible brilliant blue like nothing Cameron has ever seen before or since. To see his old friend broken down in such a way makes Cameron just sit there and cry, blubbering through his tears about how he wishes things hadn't turned out this way, how he wishes he could have helped somehow, he should have given him money back then, if only Cameron had never let him leave that night, and so on.

Danny sits next to him and tells him, "Come on, don't cry. I'm okay. I don't want you to cry over me. I'm fine." Cameron just cries harder because that's the same sort of thing Danny would have said back then. Then Danny makes a small joke, telling Cameron that he's just going to get a headache and make his nose run and says something funny about it, and Cameron laughs a little but also cries even harder to see that the real Danny is still in there somewhere underneath all that the world has done to him. Danny puts his arms around Cameron and shushes him and tries to make him feel better, and just holds him for a while on the living room couch.

Cameron tells Danny to stay with him, that he won't let him leave this time. He's not allowed to sleep on the couch because he might sneak out. Cameron insists that they sleep together and Cameron will lay on top of him all night if he has to in order to make sure he doesn't go anywhere. Danny stays the night with him, and Cameron stays home with him the next day. Danny doesn't mind staying over a day or two, but then he wants to leave, saying he doesn't want to be a burden making Cam take care of him. He doesn't have a job and he can't help pay the bills, etc. Cameron insists that he shouldn't worry about that. He can handle the bills. He doesn't need money, he needs his friend back in his life. He tells Danny about how awful it's been while they were apart. Meeting Danny made him feel better about himself and he opened up and made new friends, but none that he felt that way about, none that he loved this much. All Cameron wants is for the two of them to be together, and for Danny to stop selling his body on street corners. Danny says he hasn't done that in a long time, for obvious reasons, since he's not as pretty as he was back then. Cameron says in his own opinion, Danny is still the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. Even the scars are sexy.

So they start living together, and Danny tells Cameron about his past and all the horrors he's gone through, things he's never told anyone else. Cameron is shocked to discover Danny was 16 when they first met. He can't believe it. He feels weird that he fell in love with someone so young, but Danny didn't act his age back then. He seemed so grown up. Even now, he seems like he's at least 5 years older than Cameron, and looks older too because of the stress he's been through. It doesn't really matter now that time as passed; Danny is 19, he's not a minor anymore, but Cameron still just can't believe Danny is younger than him. Danny says Cameron looks younger than he is, so Danny didn't realize Cam was that old, so since one is young and looks old and the other is old but looks young it averages out and they can meet in the middle. Cameron laughs, but all the things that have happened to Danny, and all the things he was going through even back then, makes Cameron sad, and amazes him that Danny seemed so fun and bright and confident. He's never met anyone so strong.

But Danny isn't strong anymore. He's fought too hard for too long. He's lost his confidence and vibrancy. He's lost the light in his eyes. Cameron learned to believe in himself when Danny was with him before, and isn't as weak as he once was, and for a while Cameron becomes the strong one, mending his friend back to health. Danny slowly recovers, but becomes very dependent on Cameron. If Cameron ever left him he would completely fall apart. Cameron has always felt that way toward Danny and it's weird to him to have someone he idolized need him so much. Danny tells Cameron that Cam is the other half of himself and feels like he's not complete without him. Cameron feels the same way but wouldn't have been able to put it into words so easily.

They remain together from then on. It takes several years for Danny to return to the person he once was. He heals very slowly, but Cameron never gives up on him. They support each other and compensate for each other's weaknesses. Now they've been together over ten years, and Cameron no longer worries about who knows the truth about him. He likes to hold Danny's hand no matter who is looking at them. He's proud of his best friend and wants to show him off to everybody and shout about how wonderful their relationship is rather than keep it a secret. Danny's health returned along with his sexy muscles. He wears his long hair in a ponytail. They did eventually become a romantic pair, but their friendship was always more important than their sexual interaction. Since Danny ended up with some incurable diseases because of his past, along with some mental trauma that is hard for him to get over, they have to be careful about stuff like that, but Cameron says he doesn't mind because it doesn't mean that much to him. It's their friendship that he cares the most about it, and he would want that friendship to continue whether sex was involved or not.

Cameron is a teacher now, and Danny sometimes shows up in the middle of class just to say hi and embarrass him. He tells Cameron's students that they'd better not pick on Cameron because he'll find out about it and then he'd have to come beat them up, and he ain't got time for that.

~The End~