I want to care. I know I should and should be doing everything I can to change it, but... the moment I reach for it: the ability to care about something... to really be concerned about it like I should be... that care and concern isn't there...
Sure, I do what I can to be a somewhat okay human being... the best friend I can be... and to be happy... but I always feel this nagging guilt. I have to care about this. I need to care about this, but I don't... and it tells me I'm not being very constructive, that I'm not being the best human being I can be. The will to change it eludes me. It feels like I've given up (and some would say I did and would probably chide me for it), but I haven't. It's been a cycle... and one I'm not sure how I can truly handle while I'm stuck out here in the boonies.

I'll be okay. This is just... such a perplexing dilemma...