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 Posted: Tue May 05, 2015 10:03 am
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Posted: Tue May 05, 2015 10:22 am
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3 Base Traits Gentle/Soft Spoken - Phaedra has a very gentle spirit, something she takes pride in, and as such she wouldn't hurt a fly. Not to be mistaken with shyness or weakness.
Elegant/Calm - To go along with her gentle nature Phaedra has a very elegant way about her. Almost everything she does is graceful and fluid. From the way she speaks to how she moves.
Imaginative/Dreamer - Phae has quite the active imagination. This can be both a good and a bad thing. She likes to dream up new ways to do things or even draw what it is she comes up with.
Personality Phaedra is always easy going and gentle with others. When she talks to them it is always in a calm voice and can even help to make them feel better at times. There was even a time where she thought about becoming a healer since it was so easy for others to feel at ease near her. However, her gentle heart decided that it wanted to fight and protect those she cared for. Phae isn't a naturally violent person but she is rather proficient at being defensive. he has even taken a shine to a meele weapon; the trident.
At first she tried to use other weapons, maybe see if she could follow her father's path and use magic. However it turns out she didn't have the talent for it. Now did she have the skill for long range weaponry, as her accuracy was way off. Phae had even caused a bit of bodily harm to her archery teacher. When she picked up her first trident it was like poetry in motion. The way she held it seemed to be an extension of her own arm and it appeared that she was just more comfortable with it.
When she has the down time she enjoys day dreaming or just generally being a big bucket full of imagination. Phae enjoys drawing things she comes up with, though her art skills are severely lacking. There were even a few times when she came up with notes to a song and wrote them down. Since she likes to find new or better ways to do things her father once suggested she become an inventor. It was an idea that Phaedra made him regret when she tried to build something in their living room and ended up catching the book shelf on fire. Since then she sticks to her simple drawings and active imagination.
True to earthling preferences Phaedra leans toward males when it comes to being attracted to others. Though she isn't quite sure how to deal with a male that would take interest in her. Not that she is shy in any way, but more so that she's never had to consider it before. It is likely that she would y to brush it off unless they made it blatantly obvious. She cane be somewhat dense in that area.
Phaedra's relationship with her family is a bit more complicated. Since her mother abandoned her and her father and took her two younger sister with her, Phae is not overly fond of her mother. In fact she will rarely, if ever, speak of her. She misses her little sisters but often times wonders why her mother took them and not her as well. Since her father stayed strong for her he is by far her favorite person. She does all she can to help him out both around the house and at work.
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Posted: Tue May 05, 2015 10:23 am
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Posted: Wed May 06, 2015 5:52 am
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Today is the day
Word Count - 1620
Prentice growth req.
She was moving a wooden box into the house since it held things they would need. It wasn't heavy, just a bit awkward to carry, so she struggled a little. Phaedra even had to pause a few times to get a better hold, one knee coming up to balance the box as she adjusted. With a grunt she managed to get her hands around it better and she lowered her leg so that she could continue to walk. Through the front door she went and finally into the kitchen so that she could set her package on the counter. Once the majority of the weight was held by something else she'd give a bit of a dramatic sigh. Phae pushed the box farther inward so that it wouldn't be in danger of falling off the counter. Once she was sure it would stay she let go completely and went up on her tip toes so that she could look into it and start to bring things out. She wanted to get everything put away quickly so that her dad wouldn't have to worry about something so mundane. The poor man had too much on his plate as it was and she was determined to make sure nothing was added on.
With a gentle hand she reached in and too out the first couple of items. Plates. They were made of wood and had been a gift from her grandfather. There was a smile that took shape on her face as she thought about the elderly man. Of course since they had moved out of Tale she wouldn't be able to see him as often as she'd have liked. It wasn't a bad thing. Phaedra certainly didn't blame her father for wanting to move away. She'd have done the same thing if she were in his shoes. Too many memories with the woman that had taken his children from him and walked away from their family. As the brunette put the plates on the counter to be put away later she gave a sigh. She would never understand why her mother had done such a thing. Or even how she could have. To walk away from years of family life just like that.
Phaedra shook her head, as if the motion would physically rid her of the thoughts, and went back into the box to dig for what was next to come out of storage. What she found were wooden cups to go along with the plates. They were a slightly different finish than the plates, a bit darker even. She assumed this was because they were made from a different type of tree. Putting them aside Phae went back to the box and pulled out the next item. A cloth for the dishes. Both for washing and drying since she realized there were two instead of one. Dropping them onto the counter she looked in to see what else was in the confines of the box. Her lovely green eyes found a few tomes that her father used for work. So that was what made the bulk of the weight the box held.
Moving her hands to dig into the box and pull out the books she had to adjust her stance. It was awkward trying to pull the heavy things out of a container that she needed to be on her tip toes to see into. When she finally managed to get her hands around them she hoisted them up and out. There was no more space on the counter, at least not in the small area she was at, so she took a step back and turned her head to look around. Where could she sit them? The table was clear. With four steps she was at the small table that seated two and she gently laid them on the surface. However, Phae forgot to move her fingers out of the way and ended up pinching them under the weight. “Ouch.” It was a small pain but her verbal reaction was instinct more than from actual harm.
Pulling her fingers away she'd give a shake and then bring them to her lips so that she could suck on the tips. A small frown creased her brow but she turned to go back to what it was she was doing. Before she could go back to digging in the box she heard a sound. From what she knew her father should have been at work. The house should have been empty. “Hello?” Phaedra called out. There was nothing but silence that filled the house. “Dad?” She tried again. Still there was no answer. When more sounds came she grew worried. Had there been someone in the house and she hadn't noticed? Or had they entered while she was busy digging around in the box? Phae had left the door open so that the house could air out. Maybe that was a mistake on her part.
Feeling a bit apprehensive about the situation Phaedra moved slowly and quietly toward her trident. It was leaning casually against the wall where she had set it when they had first arrived. After all it wasn't like she needed it yet. Other than for practicing. More sounds and she paused, not quite to her weapon yet. When she felt it was safe to move again she did so. Once she reached it her hand went quickly around the weapon and pulled it away from the wall and to her person. Taking careful measured steps Phaedra made her way through the small house and toward the sounds she was hearing. It was coming from the third bedroom that her father had turned into his work space. Was someone in there looting from his books and wares? She hoped not. Some of the supplied her dad had in there were hard to come by.
As Phae got closer and closer to the room she could see that the door was slightly ajar. Deep breath in and she reached out with her free hand so that she could push it the rest of the way open. With that lung full of air she shouted once the door was wide enough. “Ahhh!!” She was hoping to scare the culprit and make them want to run out of her house without a fight. Phaedra did manage to scare the person that was in the room, but it wasn't a looter.
With a start the decidedly male body jumped then turned around to stare wide eyed at the trident wielding girl. Once she saw his face Phae lowered her trident. “Dad? What are you doing home?” And when had he gotten there? Seeing the surprised look on his face made her give a snort and then a laugh. It was priceless! Wrapping an arm around her middle she'd almost double over as she took delight in the expression her father showed. He would join in on the laughing soon after before he moved forward to gently pat her head and give an answer to her question. He'd come home early to do research on a particular spell. Since he was still adjusting to live in Sol he wanted to make sure he didn't make any mistakes and give cause to others to make their life more difficult. “Oh Dad, I could have brought the book to you if you'd sent word.” She loved being helpful to him when he worked.
With a shake of her own head she would half turn, making sure to keep her weapon low so as to not knock into the doorway or even her father, then motion for her parent to follow. “Come on, I'll brew tea.” Between the two it was a favorite drink. Just the right balance of sweet and bitter. Phaedra lead the way out of the work room and back out to the kitchen where she would allow her weapon to once again lean against the wall, unused. “I found some other books of yours too.” She said casually as her hand pointed toward the tomes on the table. With her father getting settled in a chair at the table and pulling the books towards him she went about getting the metal pot and filling it with water. Phae was always careful to only get as much as they would need, it wouldn't do to waste after all.
It took her several minutes of waiting for the water to boil over the open fire and then pouring it into cups through a steeper that held tea leaves. Phaedra even added in two small stalks of sugar cane to sweeten the deal. With both drinks in hand she went over to sit at the table with her father and set his cup just to the side of his book but made sure it was far enough out of reach that he wouldn't knock it over and ruin the pages. Leaning back in her chair she held her cup with both hands and gently blew across the top to help it cool down a bit. “So, I thought about going out to the market today. Was there anything you needed?” Phaedra was the one that did most of the shopping for the house. She always managed to find the best deals and barely spent much. It helped to make sure the two had enough wealth to buy what was needed or for the occasional splurge. Her dad looked up at her from his reading then shook his head with a smile before he went back at it and vaguely reached for his cup. That meant she wouldn't have to hurry to return home and could enjoy looking around the market at her leisure. |
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Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2015 2:48 pm
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Posted: Wed Jun 03, 2015 5:16 am
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Reflections of the hateful
Word count - 1161
Prentice growth req.
Phaedra stared down at her hands as they shook. Why had she done that? The confrontation in the marketplace had shown her a side of herself she didn't even know existed. The leafling knew she didn't like Obans. What with her mother running off with one and taking her sisters away it was understandable that she didn't like them. Phae was certain she might even hate them. Then again the Oban she had met earlier had been so normal. So not like how she pictured the fire earthlings. It made her wonder if perhaps her hate was misplaced. Or if there were exceptions to the rule.
She closed her hands hoping that balling them up would stop the shaking. It didn't. Phaedra took a deep breath and looked away from her hands altogether. She was still upset with herself. After all she had held a knife to a boy's throat. All because he said he was in love with an Alkidike. If there was an Oban out there that could be so normal and nice then surely there could be Alkidikes like that. So why had it made her so angry? Was it because the situation was so similar to the one she was warring with inside? It had to be. She wasn't a cruel person.
Tears welled up in her eyes as she thought back to the events that happened in the market. The words that had come out of her mouth had been filled with disdain for anything different than the so called “normal” earthlings. There was something wrong in her mind. “Why did I do that?” True the rumors about the Alkidikes was heavy in her home village since they were literally close by, but she didn't see any of the Amazon tribe there or even causing any trouble. It had all been conjecture. Could she have formed an opinion about the race base on rumor alone? It was looking that way.
“Spirits above.. I was so hateful!” Her voice trembled. There was no way to make up for how she acted either. Not unless she could find that boy and apologize. Maybe even attempt to explain herself. Not that she even knew the real reason behind her actions. If anything she was more at a loss now than she had been before. “I wish I knew the name of the Alkidike he cared for.” Phaedra could meet her and see what it was he was talking about. Maybe that would open her eyes. Sadly he hadn't told her who it was he loved and so she had no way of knowing which Alkidike to meet.
Now that she thought about it she didn't even know the name of the boy she'd threatened in such a manner. Giving a groan she lowered her head and brought her trembling hands up to hide her face in. Phae felt true shame at what she had done. Honestly she just wanted to find a hollowed out tree and curl up in it to hide. She was sure the spirits were highly disappointed with her. Her behavior in Neued was horrific to even think about.
It was too bad that all of her friends had been left behind in Vers, otherwise she might have had someone to talk to about what had happened. That was what she really needed right now. A friend to talk to. So far the only person she considered a friend was Chalcedony. The tank. But he was much older than her and he was all the way back in Sol. Phaedra supposed she could talk to her father about it all when she got home, but she was unsure how he would feel about her having met an Oban let alone about her placing a weapon to some boy's neck.
“I don't know what to do. I don't even know what came over me.” She mumbled into her hands. Finally she dragged her hands down from her face and sighed. Her green eyes focused on the ground by her feet. “I need to make up for what I've done.” She slowly nodded her head in agreement to her words.
Phaedra even remembered the blood of the girl that had died. The hybrid that had been protecting her mother from the hate that she had started. The boy had been right. She wasn't okay with that. It was her fault. Tears spilled over onto her cheeks and made their way to the ground eventually. Phae had been the cause of the death of an innocent. Hybrid or not the girl had done nothing to deserve that. “I'm so sorry!” She called to the wind as it blew passed her.
Ironically she was grieving. It was a complete stranger but she was grieving for them. Turning to face the village she had cause the pain in she decided she would start with that girl's mother. She would apologize, even though it wouldn't be enough, and try her best to alleviate the woman's pain. It would be the least she could do. If nothing else maybe the woman would direct her hurt toward Phaedra and it would help her cope with her daughter's death.
Set in her decicion she headed back into the village. This time she didn't stop to talk to anyone or to even listen to the rumors and gossip. She wanted to find that woman, that mother, and let her know that she was sorry. Phaedra ended up back in the marketplace and had to pause when she saw the spot where the girl had died. She'd bled out and there was proof left on the ground. A strangled cry came from the leafling as she recalled the scene. Turning her head away she forced herself to keep moving and looking.
It took her some time but eventually she did find the woman that had been so hurt by her actions. Phaedra approached her slowly and called out to her. “Excuse me..” Her voice was soft and caring, the complete opposite to what this Alkidike had witnessed in the market. “Ma'am.. I would like to apologize for my actions. I don't know what came over me. I know this won't right things or even bring your daughter back.. but I would like to atone for what I've done.” Phae couldn't bring herself to quite look the woman in the eye so she spoke instead to the shoulder of the mother. The Alkidike only stared at her for some time before she broke down into tears once again. The sobs of a mother that had lost her child too soon. It was enough to torture Phaedra. Sadly she didn't know what to do since she was sure this woman wouldn't want to be touched by her. Amazingly, however, the heartbroken Amazon put her arms around Phae and cried into her shoulder. The leafling stood there and did her best to comfort the woman as she wailed. |
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Posted: Thu Jun 04, 2015 2:14 pm
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Posted: Wed Jan 20, 2016 6:40 pm
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A night to think
Word count - 2024
Night came quickly in the forests of Jauhar. Mostly because of the trees that were so thick with leaves on the top. The blocked out the light fairly well, even during the day. She settled in beside the dying embers of her camp fire, no blanket needed since it was the warm season, and stared up at the glowing foliage. Somewhere on the other side of her makeshift heater was Juno, the hybrid boy she was now sharing her trip with. It didn’t bother her that she was traveling with someone else, but she did wonder why he didn’t have anyone else with him. Most people didn’t like to walk the earth alone.
Neither did she really, but her options on company were very limited. Phaedra took in a deep breath as she thought about the event that had lead to her isolation. It wasn’t a pleasant one. But it was the reason behind why she couldn’t find a teacher for her chosen path, the reason she couldn’t go to the markets and shop without being harassed. She pushed the thought from her mind and turned her head so that she could look over the smoldering heap of burnt wood. Phae was trying to see how her young companion was doing. If he was asleep yet. When she saw that he seemed to be breathing deeply, or what look like deeply, and was generally un-moving she figured sleep had taken him.
Looking back toward the roof of the forest she let herself relax against the firm earth and bed of fallen leaves. Lifting her hand toward the unreachable top she stared at her fingers then past them. It was amazing how badly she stuck out in this region. Her pale, leaf skin tone versus the darker tones of the shifters, though some did have a light phase. There weren’t many that had her coloring in this area. And because of that it wasn’t hard to pin the rumors of her past to her and make her the outcast. Tears welled up in her eyes and she slowly curled her fingers in on themselves and made a fist. Continuing to keep it in the air she stared at her skin. Phaedra knew her father loved this area but she felt so out of place. In her heart she wanted to return to Tale, get away from those that would look at her with odd expressions.
As the salty liquid left her eyes and trailed down on opposite sides of her face she lowered her fist to her chest and held it close. Just as she had it tucked in Phae shifted her whole body onto her side. From there she brought her legs in so that she could rest in the fetal position. With the crunch of leaves beneath her she settled in for the night, letting her thoughts run wild. There was no way she could abandon her father. He wanted to live in Jauhar and it seemed to help him with his work. Being a good daughter was always in her mind so there was nothing she could do. Phaedra would need to make the best of it all.
Another deep breath was taken in but this time it was released as a sigh. Mentally she was exhausted so as she shut her eyes she hoped that sleep would take her quickly. If she was lucky then she may even sleep the whole night through. That is, if nothing came too close to their campsite. After all, she was the only one out of the two of them that had a weapon or any fighting skills. Laying there she waited for the bliss to sneak up on her and slowly take her away. The sleeping sands of the wind would lure her into a pleasant sleep and she could relax.
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“Mama!”
She cried out as she reached for the woman she knew as her mother. She was the oldest of three daughters yet her mother was leaving her behind and taking the two younger with her. Phaedra couldn't understand why. Tears were pouring down her pudgy little face and she sniffled uncontrollably. “Don't leave me mama!” Her sobs came out in breaths as she tried to get what she wanted to say out. “Please mama!” She begged.
Inside she could feel her heart breaking. She was so young and yet she was forced to watch her mother's retreating back. The thing that made it worse for her is that her two little sisters got to go. Phae was being left behind. As her tears welled up even more they made her vision blurred but she could still make out the figure of her mother leaving her. Never looking back.
“Maaaaaammmmaaaaaa!”
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With a sudden gasp for air Phaedra opened her eyes and sat up as quickly as she could. One hand went for her weapon and the other went to her chest. Her heart was pounding at a speed she was uncomfortable with and a cold sweat had covered her body at some point during her sleep. When she realized that it had all just been a dream, granted it had been more of a nightmare for her, she took her hand away from her trident and tried to ease her breathing.
Covering her eyes with her now free hand she took a deep shuddering breath and shook her head at herself. When was she going to get over that event in her life? When was she going to get over the fact that her mother had left her high and dry. At least she still had her father.
Once she had it all under control she cleared her throat and moved her hand up and away from her eyes so that she could push her bangs up. “What time is it..” She said to herself as she looked toward the sky. There was barely any light coming through the tree tops so she figured it was still rather early. However, with her mind already woken and disturbed she wasn't likely to be able to go back to sleep. So instead Phaedra took another deep breath then stretched out her arms before she got to her feet and started to go through the motions of her chores. Plus she didn't want to wake Juno up with her frustrations.
Since she had managed to stay relatively close to a stream she wanted to wash up before she started to do anything. Or go anywhere. It would also help to calm her a little. It was busy work and it would keep her hands as well as her mind occupied and that was something she really needed at the moment.
“Mama!”
A call streaked through the air and it made the very hair on the back of her neck stand on end. Was she hearing things? Phaedra crouched down as her light green eyes scanned the area. There was no way there was a child out here calling for their mother. If so then they had been abandoned.
“Mama! Mama!”
It grated at her ears and sent a chill down her spine. Then she saw the source. A bird. The call of the bird sounded like a child's call for their mother. She narrowed her eyes at the offending animal then threw her arms out wide and hissed. “Get!” Phae was in no mood to be put on edge by a mere avian beast. “Go on!” She shooed her arms at it once more and watched as it opened it's wings and flapped irritably at her. “Be gone!” She shouted at the thing.
When it finally decided she was no longer worth bothering and flew away she sighed to herself and brought a hand up to grip her head gently. “What is wrong with me lately?” She was having the dream. The very dream that had haunted her childhood memories. And now she was hearing things in the jungle. Phae rubbed at her face before she continued on her way to the stream. Maybe if she simply focused on what she was doing she could ignore all those eerie reminders of her past.
It had to be the fact that she was going back into Tale. That had to be why all of this was suddenly bothering her once again. She had no other explanation for it. Phaedra hadn't been poisoned by anything that she knew of, so it couldn't be the effects from that. She was getting enough sleep, she thought. So if there was no other external influence to think of then it had to be her own mind dreading what was to come. Her visit to Tale.
It was where it all happened. It was where she had been left behind by her mother and two sisters. She had spent the night alone in the house as she waited for her mother to return for her or her father to come home from the war. Phaedra had sat there all alone in the darkness. It had been a neighbor that had found her and looked after her until her father came back. Feeling something wet on her cheeks she wiped it away and felt angry that it still made her upset. “It was so long ago.. why do I still cry!?” So annoying.
Doing her best to push all of that to side she looked around and peered through the darkness. Sure she was alone Phaedra started to remove her clothes. The creek was just a few feet away and she didn't want them to get wet. Now fully in her birthday suit the brunette made her way to the cool waters. Since she wasn't sure when Juno would wake she didn't figure she had enough time to properly wash her hair which was a little disappointing but she could manage. Giving it a thorough rinse would have to do until she was once again on the road by herself.
The finishing touches were put on to her cleaning routine and Phae made her way out of the waters. Her long pointed ears gave a twitch at every little sound but she knew the difference between that of an animal and that of a person. So far Juno was still asleep, or at the very least not walking toward her, to her knowledge and that was good enough for her.
Her boots went back on after her shorts but she left her top off for the time being. Phaedra sat down on a large rock and leaned to the side so that her wet hair could hang over her shoulder. Since she had the time alone she wanted to wring the water out of her long brown locks. “I'll wake Juno up after a while so he can wash up if he wants to.” Phaedra whispered to herself.
As her low voice cut through the silence of the forest she could see and hear the difference. The wildlife that thought they were alone suddenly froze or quieted down. They were taking stock of her presence and judging to see if she was a threat to them. As they took their time with it she finished taking care of her hygiene and put her shirt back on. Getting it to go back over her breasts was a bit difficult as the moisture on her skin made it want to stick and cling but once the battle with it was over she stood and headed back to the campsite.
She'd need to make breakfast so that her companion didn't starve. Phaedra had wanted to make sure the boy got plenty to eat while he was with her. To her eyes he looked underfed. Not to mention this task would also keep her busy. Plus, she smelled like the creek now, so any prey she hunted wouldn't know she was near. It was a win win in her eyes.
Phaedra checked in on the boy and his familiar before she grabbed her trident and went out to find a fat rabbit. A bird was also on the menu if it made that eerie sound again.
Used in Lancer Growth
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Posted: Sun Feb 21, 2016 4:45 pm
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The Truth Revealed
Word count - 2236
The trip across Tale had been boring by all accounts. No one new to meet and oddly no animals to encounter. Then again, Phaedra was extremely happy about that last part. Since she'd come across those legless things from the new Island she hadn't exactly been sweet on beasts. Holding onto her trident as tightly as she could with one hand she made her way into Vers; her home village. It had been so long ago that she had walked these streets and now she could feel her body trembling with the anxiety.
She wanted to keep her head down and walk as quickly as she could to where she remembered her old home being but knew that would just bring more attention. So instead she walked as calmly as she was able. Phae made a winding pattern through the town as she tried to work from a memory that had been left in the dark for years. Once she got her bearings, though, she was good to go. It lead her straight to a home in a line of houses where an elderly couple sat on matching chairs just in front.
Clearing her throat she took the time to find her voice as she walked up to them. “Excuse me, I was wondering if you could help me.. I'm looking for the parents of Astae.” Her mother's name came rolling off her tongue easily and from the surprised looks on the couple's faces she had found them. “Are.. are you them?” Butterflies blossomed within her stomach as she realized she was gazing at her grandparents.
“We are.” Came the reply from the woman, though she seemed hesitant to speak. The man remained silent as he stared at her.
Phaedra figured they must be wondering who she was so she smiled at them. “I'm Phaedra. I'm her daughter.” She didn't know what she expected to see when she said that but the exchange that took place wasn't it. The two paused and looked at one another as if having an unspoken conversation then looked back at her. “W-what's wrong? Did something happen?” The idea that something bad had happened to her mother before she had gotten to know her better, had gotten answers about the past, made her feel ill.
“Is she alright?” Her voice was going up in pitch now. Phae could feel the panic rising within her. Just as she was about to open her mouth to say something else a woman came out of the house and snagged her attention.
“Mom. Dad. Everything alright out here-?” The woman stopped as she stared at Phaedra. Her hands started to wring together involuntarily.
There in the doorway. In Tale. Was her mother. The woman that had left her all alone in the house that night when she'd run away. A mix of emotions hit her all at once and she didn't know how to react. Across her face came the differences. Shock. Happiness. Anger. Disbelief. Then confusion. “Mother?” Phae managed to finally ask.
“O-oh uh..” The woman she called mother looked at her own parents then back at her. From the looks of it she was nervous and didn't know what to do. “H-hello, Phaedra.” Astae coughed as she finished speaking, a tactic to give her time to think.
Furrowing her brow Phaedra looked around then at her grandparents. “Have you been here the whole time? I thought you left for Oba.” In fact she had been sure that was where her mother had gone with her two sisters.
“Oh for spirits sake! Just tell the girl.” The rough voice of her grandfather came as a bit of a surprise since she didn't think he wanted to speak to her. When Phaedra turned her head to look at him she noticed the elderly woman put her hand gently over his and tried to shush him. “Don't give me that. If her father doesn't have the decency to tell her then someone should!” He glowered at his wife and daughter before he turned his angry eyes on Phae. “You're no family to me, girl.”
Those words stung but she did her best to push them off as the ramblings of an old man. After all, she had heard that when one gets on in years they sometimes forget things. “I'm your granddaughter. Phaedra.” She nodded her head as she spoke, keeping her smile in place so that he would be reassured. Then again she had spoken a bit slowly to make sure that he understood.
“No, Girl.” He stood up and shook off the hand of his wife. The man looked at his own daughter for a moment then grunted in frustration before he moved into the house and away from the drama he knew was about to unfold.
The woman she called her grandmother stood next and she gave a sad smile. “I'm sorry about that. He's a bit grumpy today.” Not that Phaedra really blamed him for his actions.
Astae looked back into the house as she heard her other daughters then stepped out to meet Phae in the yard. “Phaedra, I'm so sorry. I know you must have questions.” She reached out as if to take her hands but stopped mid way then dropped her hands to her sides. “My father is right, Phaedra.”
“E-excuse me? Mother that can't be.” The brunette shook her head in denial of the whole thing. This was her mother. She remembered this woman being in her childhood. It was who she had nightmares of. “I remember your face. I have nightmares of the night you left me behind.” Tears started to well up in her eyes as she stared at Astae. “You're the mother that I lost to an Oban during the war.”
Guilt was written all over the woman's face and she looked at her elderly mother for assistance and she seemed to step in, putting a hand on Phae's arm. “Dear child.. Astae raised you up until that fateful night, but you were not born from her.”
The words shook her to her core as she seemed to simply stare at the old woman. The tears that had built up during the course of the conversation finally slipped out and ran down her cheeks in a silent cry. “Is.. Is that why you left me? I wasn't yours so you figured you could abandon me?” Phaedra could feel her world crashing down around her. Everything was a lie. Her dreams lied to her. Her memories lied to her. Even her father had lied. The betrayal of it all stabbed right into her chest and twisted.
“No! No, Phaedra! Oh spirits no!” Astae looked as though she had been physically struck with Phae's words. Instantly she wrapped her arms around the girl ad held her close, her own tears making an appearance as she stroked the long brown locks that resembled her own daughters. “I'm sorry my little love.” She said quietly. “So sorry that I hurt you like that.”
She didn't understand what was happening at all. Phaedra had just learned that this woman, the very woman that she remembered as her mother, was in fact no relation to her at all. So why then was she holding her in such a loving way and apologizing? Did she feel guilty for the pain she'd caused? “Why did you never tell me?” The words came out as a choked sob.
“What would I say? You were so little then and I didn't want to be the one to tell you that I was not your mother.” Astae closed her eyes as she spoke only comforted by the hand on her back that belonged to her own mother. “Polthe had an affair that I didn't know of until he brought you home. All he said to me was that you were his by blood and that I was to raise you.”
Phaedra pulled away from her and shook her head vehemently. “No. He'd never do that. That's a lie.” Even as she said the words she knew that they weren't true. She looked like her father but she shared no similarities, beyond that of the leaf tribe appearance, with this woman. “He loves you. Why would he have done such a thing!?” The weight of it all became too heavy and her knees gave way beneath her. Once on the ground she let it all out. The crying that she was holding back. The tremors that shook her shoulders with each breath.
“How could he do that?” She asked between sobs. “And to keep me as proof.” Phaedra understood then. It was so shocking to her that she gasped and snapped her head up to look at Astae with horror on her face. She was a constant reminder of what Polthe had done to her. The shame she must have felt! What people must have said! “Oh. You must hate me. I am nothing but a shining beacon to my father's in-digressions.” Her hands came up to cover her face and she shook her head yet again. “I'm sorry. I never should have come here. I didn't mean to disrupt your life.”
Astae quickly went to her knees before the girl and put her hands on both shoulders. “I didn't think you would come looking for me, Phaedra. I thought you were too little to remember. I'm sorry, I should have left word for you.” The woman felt badly that Phae had to learn of her past in such a way, though there was a degree of anger that she felt for her ex-husband. Why hadn't he told her!? The pain he caused to his own daughter was unforgivable. “Forgive me Phaedra, leaflet.”
The feeling of being tainted, of spoiling Astae and her family, was too strong for her to stand so she moved back and away from the woman. This stranger now. “You are a saint so there is nothing to forgive.” With blurred vision she looked from her former mother to the woman she thought was her grandmother. “I'm sorry to have disturbed you. I'll... I'll just go.” It took her several tries to get to her feet but when she did she stumbled away, leaving her pack on the ground and all the things within it. The only thing she had managed to grab was her trident.
Astae put her hands over her mouth as she cried. “Phaedra!” She called out as she was paralyzed where she sat in the dirt, only able to watch the girl walk away. It was harder this time to be apart from her. Even though she hadn't given birth to Phae she had cared for her as such. “Oh! Mother I didn't get to tell her that I loved her.” The older of the two knelt down and wrapped her daughter in a hug as she tried to sooth her pain.
Phaedra stumbled as she walked, numb to whatever was around her. “I'm dirty.. I'm a stain on her life. How could I have been so stupid!” Her head hung as she slowly made her way out of the large town. There was no where in particular that she wanted to go or could go. Returning to Jauhar to face her father would just mean more heartache and lies. Something she couldn't handle at the moment. Granted it would take her some time to get back but even so her feet didn't want to start that journey.
In her mind she made an unconscious decision to head for the one person that had been more kind to her than any other in the world. At least in the way of calling her beautiful. Phaedra headed toward Matori, dragging the tips of her trident along the ground behind her as she went. “Mano.. can you fix a broken heart...?” She whispered to herself as she thought about the water tribesman she'd met not so long ago. He had been super sweet to her and she needed that right now.
It wasn't just a broken heart that she suffered from but a broken self. All this time she thought that she knew her mother; knew her father, but it had all been a gigantic lie. “Can a broken person be fixed?” With that question in mind repeating over and over again she seemed to lose her confidence. Because she didn't know how to answer the question she broke down even more. The emotional pain soon felt physical and it caused her to breathe heavily and shake. When her body finally siezed up she fell to the ground and laid there letting the cold seep in as exhaustion took hold of her mind. I'm tainted! Said the voice in her head. Tainted! A lie! It became relentless as it screamed at her. A trophy for someone's affair! A reminder of pain!
“No! Stop!” Her hands went to her head and she gripped it tightly as she yelled out into the quiet air. “Stop!” Her cries reached no ears.
Tainted! Lie! Worthless! A painful memory! The voice wouldn't let up as self pity rendered her unable to think properly. “I didn't know! I didn't.. I didn't know!” Phaedra screamed before she shifted and hit her head off the ground. The action was repeated until she finally managed to knock herself unconscious.
Used in Lancer Growth
This shows how Phaedra learns that her father lied to her and never revealed the truth about her mother. So as she learns the truth of it all she becomes lost.
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Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2016 6:09 pm
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Happiness...?
Word count - 1051
Phaedra made her way back to the Inn that she and her two traveling companions, Mano and Kyrian, had been staying at, though she didn't go up to her room right away as she normally did. Instead she made her way to the kitchen area and asked the staff if she would be able use their space to make something. Of course she was told that she would have to pay them for any ingredients used but the Leaf woman had no problem with that. In fact, she would have said the same thing if someone had been asking her to do what she wanted. So with a nod of her head she set to work and in her hand was the bag of spices that she had managed to buy from a certain Vendor.
The smell of the spices drifted up to her nose and she had to wonder what would be best to make with them. A rub for some meat? A stew that would suck the essence out of the dried leaves? Or maybe she could come up with something new? Phaedra liked all of the ideas.
Wearing a grin from ear to ear she brought the small pouch up to her nose and took a deep breath. It was intoxicating to her. A true smell of seduction. While she was a rather small looking woman she had a passion for cooking. Food was an amazing thing. It could convey so much too. A true universal language. Letting her green eyes go around the kitchen she searched for anything that would spark an idea for what to make. And then she found it. A bird had been killed recently and it looked as though the cook was about to make use of it. Quickly she claimed it for herself, giving ample compensation for it, and started to pluck the feathers. By the way her hands moved with precision it was clear she'd done it before.
Before too long the bird was nude and ready to be made into a meal. The brunette looked around for a knife, though she was handed one by the cook who was watching her intently, then set to work. The head needed to come off, along with the feet, and of course the innards couldn't be left inside. When all of that was taken care of she looked around the kitchen yet again, though she was startled when one of the kitchen maids put their arms around her. Phae looked down to see that they had put an apron on her to make sure she didn't ruin her clothes. The leaf woman blushed since she hadn't even thought about it. With a humble thank you she moved on to grab the flour from the shelf.
In a bowl she mixed the white powder with some of the spices and a bit of stock. Phaedra made sure that it was only moist enough to turn into a paste then she coated the bird in it, sparing none so that every inch was covered and would absorb the delicious scent as well as the taste. The woman left it to sit for a few minutes as she prepared some greens to go along with it. Her chopping wasn't wild but it was fast enough. There were a few times where she had to pause and use the back of her hand to wipe at her forehead or rub the end of her nose to sooth an itch.
Once everything was made ready she loaded it all onto a flat pan and loaded it into the brick oven. It would need to stay in there for a few hours to make sure that it was thoroughly cooked. So she wiped her hands on the apron and then set them on her hips as she smiled at her handy work. Then it occurred to her that she was all sweaty from the days events as well as covered in dirt and now flour. So Phae colored a bit more, peeking around to make sure no one noticed, then removed the kitchen garment so that she could retreat to her room and wash up. It was her hope that once she was finished and dressed in fresh clothes that the food would be done and she could serve it up. A special someone came to mind and it had her biting her lip in anticipation.
While she wanted to hurry and rush through things she knew that the food had to take it's time to cook. So that gave her extra time to really fuss over her hair in a way she hadn't done in a while. She washed it and combed it, she even thought about styling it, however that didn't work too well. So the leaf woman settled for her usual style of straight down. When getting dressed she paid extra attention to her womanly features and did her best to make sure she didn't look like a frump. Of course she skipped the perfume since she had another scent in mind. A scent that was perfect for her.
Before her hair could dry all the way she made her way back down to the kitchen and stood close to the oven. Not only would the heat from it help dry her damp hair but it would carry the scent of the Sauti spices onto each strand. It was just what she needed. Now all she had to do was wait for the bird to finish cooking. That was the hardest part. The wait. The smells of the food were always so tantalizing and made her stomach growl with anticipation.
Phaedra started to pace impatiently in front of the small oven as she waited. She had never felt this impatient while waiting on food to get done but she was anxious to see how well the meal turned out. If it was as amazing as she hoped then she would be making a trip back toward the market and hopefully she could find the man that had sold her the rare find. If she could she wanted to share the food with him. She wanted to show off her cooking skills to him and see what he thought. Phae also wanted to make the man smile.
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