[PRP] Shattered Illusions (Sakura & Eya Rose)

[Phail Ninja]

This is a private RP between Sakura and Eya Rose (both owned by Phail Ninja).

 

[Phail Ninja]

Sakura paced through the forest, her movements hurried as she strove to reach their next destination. Today had been an early start, her mind dead-set on covering the necessary ground. Had she been by herself, she would have taken to the skies and flown most of the way there, but of course life had thrown complications her way. Sakura shuffled her wings as she peered behind her. She could hear the foal's heavy foosteps crashing through the undergrowth, even though she wasn't in vision. "Come on Eya, we're almost there." Her voice was strained, her patience put to the test. Normally, Sakura would be much more accommodating. Eya, her own flesh and blood in all but origin, was incredibly precious to her. It was simply circumstance that put her on edge that day.

She halted, wondering if they should take a break. Her own legs burned with the familiar ache of exercise, and if hers felt like this, then how much must Eya be suffering? A pang of guilt flitted through the mare. She knew she wasn't treating the filly fairly. She hadn't asked to be introduced into the world, only to be dragged along on her mother's quest. It was hard on the girl, especially given her headstrong nature. She knew that ideally, she should settle down, find somewhere calm and sun-filled to spend her days until her daughter was grown. But Sakura couldn't bring herself to do it. It had taken her a long time to start her journey, and now she feared that if she paused for even a moment she might lose sight of the end. What if she gave up? What if the trail, faint as it was, grew cold and died? A lump formed in her throat. She couldn't let that happen. She had to know what happened to her father, there was no other way...  

[Phail Ninja]

Eya struggled through the dense bushes. Whereas her mother was tall and agile, she was small and rather clumsy. She lacked not only the wings her mother used to help her balance, but also the cloven hooves that let her traverse the forest floor so easily. Instead, Eya had a huge pair of clunky talons. Not only were they not cloven hooves, but they actually actively hindered her movements with how awkward they were to use. Her breath was panting, leg muscles burning with exhaustion. For some reason she'd been pushed extra hard today. Her mother's voice reached her ears from just up ahead. Pressing her ears back, she issued a snappy retort. "I'm..." she panted, her breathing hot and heavy, "comiiiiiiiiiiiing."

It wasn't fair. Other foals didn't have to do this - trail around behind their mothers while they went off on some crazy idea. Most of them sat at home, living in some nice den with loads of space to play and siblings and their father. Eya cast her gaze downwards, letting out a sigh. There was something her mother wasn't telling her, wasn't there? Why didn't she have a father? She'd never brought it up before. And every ever foal she met had brothers or sisters, the spirits always gave large litter sizes. So why was she here, alone? Setting her face into a pout, the foal struggled onwards. She would confront her mother - she wanted answers!  

[Phail Ninja]

Sakura gently closed her eyes, letting the warmth of the afternoon waft over her. But even as its gentle heat spread across her fur, rooting down deeper and deeper into her body, a cold grip tightened around her chest, squeezing down on her heart with every pulse. No matter how nice the day, nothing could thaw the hold it had on her. Not even the bird song weaving through the sky. Not even the feeling on constant progress they made every day. Not even the quirked up smile on her daughter's face... Though she had to admit it came pretty damn close.

The deep melancholy had grown and festered deep within her heart all those weeks ago. Her quest had seemed so easy - it had been starting that had been the hard part. Accepting that she had to let go of her past, to go forward with her life and finally have a purpose again. And yet... the fruitless searching was taking its toll. How could she have looked so hard, only to find nothing? How could her heart leap at the faintest hint of a trail? Why was everything she did so futile? A soft blow escaped through her nostrils.

It had been in such a mood that she had wished for Eya, wishing for yet another child to bless her life. So why did it not feel like a blessing? She loved her sons beyond belief, all she had ever wanted from life was to settle down with her family and be the best mum she could. So why had finding that basket, that basket she had so yearned to have, fill her with such dread?  

[Phail Ninja]

Ready to give her mother a piece of her mind, Eya stumbled head-first into the clearing, bursting free from the tangle of plants with a spray of half-dead leaves. She gave a loud snort, shaking out her neck and sending her brush of feathers quivering from side to side. Bits of foliage came flying off her, tendrils of moss threaded with bits of soil and broken shards of bark. Collecting her hooves beneath her, she rose to full height and whirled around the face her mother.

"Can we please-" she exclaimed in annoyance, before breaking off suddenly as she saw Sakura's expression. Her mum's face was still, her eyes shut. A deep sadness leaked through her, visible even to the naive foal. Eya pressed her ears back, feeling momentarily guilty. She understood that her mum had a big and important quest, and she really really tried not to be a burden. She wanted to run after and keep up and help, but at the same time... Everything she felt was justified and she knew it, she'd even heard mum say plenty of times that she was being unfair. Foals shouldn't have to traipse around the forest until they were exhausted every night. She wanted to run and play and have a home, somewhere nice to belong. Instead, every day they flickered from place to place, talking to strangers who often gave the foal very odd looks. This wasn't what Eya wanted at all. Maybe... one day she could track down her father. She assumed she must have one. Maybe she could belong there... But even then a slice of guilt shot through her - how could she even think of leaving her mum alone?  

[Phail Ninja]

Her daughter's irritated voice shattered her quiet musings. Well, life had given her the gift she had always wanted - children. She could hardly complain about it now, could she? Sakura huffed gently, letting her warm breath tickle her nostrils. "Yes, little one. We can take a break." Though she yearned to keep going, though her heart was way out there past the forest, Sakura knew that Eya had the right of it - it wasn't fair. She stretched out her neck, feeling the tension in her muscles. When was the last time they'd rested?

Slowly, bit by bit, she felt the muscles unclench, sending tingling pains through her body. "That's better. Ooph. We did quite a bit today, didn't we?" She noticed, somewhat sheepishly.  

[Phail Ninja]

Whatever thoughts the foal had had of running away crumbled away into dust at the thought of a break. She immediately flopped down, becoming a pile of muddy fur and prickly feathers. "We've been walking foreveeeeeerrrrrrrrrrr." Eya lifted her claws up, wincing at the blisters she had. No point in crying about them, oh well. "When can we stop? Like, stop for real? I don't wanna walk anymore..."

Eya pouted, swishing her tail behind herself grumpily. "It's cold and my claws hurt and I'm all muddy and-"  

[Phail Ninja]

Sakura perked an ear up. "Muddy? Sounds like it's time for... a bath then." She said it half in jest, knowing it would rile up her daughter. She gave her a quick wink before flopping down on the ground next to the foal. She focused for a moment, building up what strength she had left and focused on the blisters Eya had. Her uni powers weren't the strongest, but soon enough the sores faded away, the pain easing into nothing but the dull ache of well-used muscles. "I guess we can camp here for tonight, you look exhausted."

But the mare's mind flashed to how far they still had to go. They were travelling slowly, much too slowly. They'd never make it at this rate. The prickle of anxiety trembled down her spine, refusing to let her rest.  

[Phail Ninja]

At hearing the "B" word, Eya yelped in protest. "No, no baths, I don't need a bath. I was just joking. Look, no bath necessary." She shook out her coat, ignoring the dust and grime that filtered down through her fur. She hated baths. Being muddy wasn't bad, it was just that she was cold and miserable. But baths would make you even colder, and even more miserable! No, she didn't want one, thanks.

She squirmed as her mum healed her blisters, wrinkling her nose. Healing always tickled. But they didn't hurt anymore at least. She flexed her claws, wincing as they were still sore, but in a dull, tired away. The kind of tired that would be magically gone after a long night's rest. Eya yawned, preparing a big speach about how she definitely wasn't tired. But as she looked at her mother, she realised that she wasn't really there - she had that empty look in her eyes again, like she was miles away, as far from Eya as she could be. The foal sighed and lowered her head to the ground, swallowing her words. Ignored, again.  

[Phail Ninja]

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[Phail Ninja]

"NO, I'm not doing it. Screw this. Screw all of this." Eya stood facing her mother, eyes narrowed into slits. Her rage made every feather in her mane stand on end as she lashed her tail in a cat-like manner. "I've had enough. I don't want to go on your stupid quest anymore. I don't want to spend all day chasing after some ghost story you've told yourself."

She was tired, and angry, and most of all she just wanted it all to stop. All she'd ever wanted was to camp somewhere and just... never leave. To have a home. To make some friends. But no. Her mother had put an end to any such nonsense, clearly. But enough was enough.  

[Phail Ninja]

Sakura watched her daughter, not so much a foal anymore, but too immature to be called an adult yet. "Wait, Rose. Calm down, please." It was a new argument every night, each one more exhausting than the last. She'd ruined her life. She'd destroyed all her hopes and dreams. And for what? Some nonsense? No, her daugher just wasn't old enough to understand yet. One day she would. There were things that were important in life, and finding out what happened to her family was one of them. If she could just manage a little longer, hold out a bit more. She had so many leads, she could feel that she was close! Couldn't Rose see that that was all that was keeping her going? That Sakura was hurting and broken and just trying to do her best?

"Let's talk this through, rationally."  

[Phail Ninja]

"RATIONALLY?" shrieked the filly. There was nothing rational about her mother's behaviour. Nothing at all. "I've heard it all a thousand times before. It's oh so important. You have to. I got it." She lashed her tail again, feeling hot with fury. "But I don't. It's not my quest. I don't freaking care what happened. I don't. He could be dead for all you know and you've been chasing nothing. I hope he is. Because then you'd have your life ruined, just how you've mangled mine."

Eya spat out the venemous lies, the words she didn't quite mean, but couldn't hold back. They'd rattled around her head for so long, amplified, twisted, warped. She was beginning to believe them. And in her rush of anger, in the daze of her fury, she knew them to be true. She hated it. She hated her life. She hated everything. "I don't need this. I don't need you. Not anymore."  

[Phail Ninja]

The words struck her like a lash, each one burning and scarring her flesh. Each retort, each feeling, each cry. Every single one. Burned into her forever. It hurt, knowing this was how her daughter saw her. But what could she do? It was too late. This was all she had now. It was all she'd ever had. It was all she'd ever intended on having. This quest. But that last sentence, that last lashing of words, that was the one that really drew blood. The words settled heavily on the air, drowning out everything else. She didn't need her...

"Rose, I'm sorry..."  

[Phail Ninja]

The anger, the fury, it was too much. Eya couldn't stop herself. She acted before she could think, before she even registered what she was doing. "No, screw you. I don't want your apology. I just want this to be over. I'm leaving. You can't stop me." The filly took a half-step back, not even aware that her legs were in motion.

It was just one step. And yet. It felt... so freeing. So good. There was another. And another. And suddenly, she was running off into the forest, away. In no direction other than away...