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 Posted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 4:04 pm
OK, here's how it is: I have a father who always wants me to be "manly, rude, and perverted, just like him." But I'm the exact opposite: Feminine, caring, nice, and innocent (dont mok me...). He wants me to do sports, but I hate sports, I'm more interested in acting, singing, music, drawing, and colorguard (the thing where people twirl flags, rifles, and sabers.). But in no way possible am I gay, but yet he suspects me of being gay. he also suspects me of being in league with the devil just cuz of wat i wear, and the music i listen to. not to mention, he thinks i cut myself and wenever i speak my mind to him' he slaps me across the face...help?
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Posted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 9:22 pm
Well you know the consequences of staying on the course you've chosen. He's going to degrade and disrespect you.
You can either choose to deal with that... or you can choose to change your focus to keep him happy.
You don't really have many options.
However either way... speaking your mind to him doesn't seem like it's likely to get him to respect you. You may as well push that desire out of your mind right now as long as you decide to be yourself. So speaking your mind to him is pointless as it will bring nothing but pain to you.
So my advice. Be who you want. Keep your head down and your mouth shut in the house. Wait until you don't have to be there anymore and go for it.
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Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2008 2:30 pm
I wouldn't talk to him, personally..
FM is right though.
I can only suggest that you tough it out till you're outta that house.
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Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2008 5:30 pm
Grypesagon Well you know the consequences of staying on the course you've chosen. He's going to degrade and disrespect you. You can either choose to deal with that... or you can choose to change your focus to keep him happy. You don't really have many options. However either way... speaking your mind to him doesn't seem like it's likely to get him to respect you. You may as well push that desire out of your mind right now as long as you decide to be yourself. So speaking your mind to him is pointless as it will bring nothing but pain to you. So my advice. Be who you want. Keep your head down and your mouth shut in the house. Wait until you don't have to be there anymore and go for it. yah that can work...only for one thing...he wants to know everything, and he knows wen i lie wen he asks me anything...and y the hell wuld i want to be a rude,perverted,stuck-up athlete?
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Posted: Wed Nov 12, 2008 4:38 pm
I think it's horrible that he doesn't respect your person or personality for that matter. If you do tell again what's on your mind you tell him straight up and you tell him whatever he wants you to be you will not become. Also if he does try to slap you grab that hand of his before it reaches your face.
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Posted: Tue Nov 18, 2008 10:44 pm
No, don't do that! If you grab his hand to stop him, and he's stronger than you, he may just escalate it to more than just hitting you across the face, trust me.
I think you should either use the authorities to get out of the house, or, if you want to stay, do what Grypesagon said and try to keep yourself as out of his focus as possible.
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Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 12:19 pm
Sounds like you don't get along with him. He wants one thing for oyu, and you want another.
He's going to be the one major obstacle against you. Respect him, but dont give out on what you think is important. if you succeed where he thinks you can't, then that should prove to him how important it is to you. Even though you don't get along, you have to realize that deep down, he's the one you want to be respected by the most. Simply because he doesn't right now.
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Posted: Sun Nov 23, 2008 4:40 pm
First, there are no set rules to life. You should be able to like whatever you want to like, no matter if it is feminine or not. Your father must be very misunderstanding... And should not hit you for speaking your mind. I don't know how, in your situation, to solve this problem, except try and stay out of his way. Let him think what he wants... It shouldn't matter anyway.. You're his son, and he should love and accept you for what you are.
--Soc
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Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 8:35 pm
I had the same problem with my mum and various people in my school. Except the other way around ==' they thought I was lez and had social problems TT-TT
I'll tell you now, the only way to get rid of the problem is ignoring the pervertedness and all the "devil" remarks. Then one day when your dad looks vulnerable and is as mushy and emotional as he can get, sit him down. Put on your serious face but not too serious -you don't wanna make your dad think your dying now- and say its an urgent issue. Tell him stereotyping his own child will psychologically turn you into what he is saying. -rofls yup i ish having a dr phil moment- If he doesn't believe you or laughs at what your saying just put on a weird im in pain at the moment face on and say "dad" in a soft voice. If he says your a sissy for doing that start getting agressive in your tone so he listens. Then in a hard voice but not scary, tell him that if he wants to keep calling you gay and all that stuffs that's what you WILL be and unless he stops it he will have the shame of having a gay son -not that there is anything wrong with being gay-. And about the "devil association" thing, just simply tell him that music is music. He listened to his type of music in his day and now this is the type of music going around. Maybe cut him some slack and do a sport just to humor him. This way the both of you get what you want -haha compromise- If he gets violent while your talking to him -when you speak your mind- than you should really tell someone who can do something. sweatdrop As much as I would like to come over to your house and rant at your dad I can't =='
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Posted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 4:32 pm
Hmm... This is a tricky one. I know that you most likely dont want to ruin things with your father, but I think that you should try and talk to him again, but maybe wait until he's in a good mood or something, tell him that its your life and not his. Sit him down and have a good chat. Tell him that it doesnt make you gay that you want to repect women. Basicly I agree with l-miho_chan-l.
Things will work out the way their ment to. smile
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Posted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 11:30 pm
I'm sorry but your father is a close minded immature guy. Don't worry about what he wants do what makes you happy. don't change who you are for him.
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Posted: Wed Nov 26, 2008 10:58 pm
I agree...do what makes you happy. Sure your gonna want to please your father but its hard when he abuses you and thinks you worship satan. He sounds like a hard core christian or catholic or some thing that is heavy with religion. You have to explain to him calmly that you dont like anything that he does but you dont want to treat women like they are nothing but boobs and a**. You believe they have a mind and a soul just like you. Women like more sweet hearts than assholes like your dad. If he disrespects women then all you can do for now is sit back and watch. you can only act back when your old and strong enough to. I know the feeling when it comes to having your parents think one thing of you when its not true. When it comes to begin gay...tell him what discusts you about men....tell him what turns you on about women....that would help i hope....umm.....as for worshiping the devil....listen to your religious music too that you like so that he has a feeling that your not into the devil. thats all i can say
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Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 11:34 am
is there anyway u can get ur mom into play. alot of times in these situations it's good to have ur other parent talk to the person for u because if even if ur dad doesn't listen to u chances r he will listen to ur mom that is as long as she takes ur point of view
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Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 4:16 pm
Instantinsanity-Monotone I had the same problem with my mum and various people in my school. Except the other way around ==' they thought I was lez and had social problems TT-TT I'll tell you now, the only way to get rid of the problem is ignoring the pervertedness and all the "devil" remarks. Then one day when your dad looks vulnerable and is as mushy and emotional as he can get, sit him down. Put on your serious face but not too serious -you don't wanna make your dad think your dying now- and say its an urgent issue. Tell him stereotyping his own child will psychologically turn you into what he is saying. -rofls yup i ish having a dr phil moment- If he doesn't believe you or laughs at what your saying just put on a weird im in pain at the moment face on and say "dad" in a soft voice. If he says your a sissy for doing that start getting agressive in your tone so he listens. Then in a hard voice but not scary, tell him that if he wants to keep calling you gay and all that stuffs that's what you WILL be and unless he stops it he will have the shame of having a gay son -not that there is anything wrong with being gay-. And about the "devil association" thing, just simply tell him that music is music. He listened to his type of music in his day and now this is the type of music going around. Maybe cut him some slack and do a sport just to humor him. This way the both of you get what you want -haha compromise- If he gets violent while your talking to him -when you speak your mind- than you should really tell someone who can do something. sweatdrop As much as I would like to come over to your house and rant at your dad I can't ==' this was a bit long-winded, but i agree with it. something like this is the only thing that will really change the way he thinks.
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