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 Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2008 1:17 pm
This is long, I'm sorry..
The other day I was talking to my boyfriend and I asked him if he was doing anything Saturday and Sunday. He said "No, but Saturday, I have to work 6pm-11pm, we can see if we can do something."
I ask him what we could do and he says "We can do something with Sheila [my best friend] seeing as she has a car and can bring me to work." Makes sense so I agreed, not to mention, she's my best friend.
I told him that if he does go to Sheila's, to call me and I can go over, because he mentioned how he may not go and stay home. He promised me he would.
Anyway, today is Saturday and all day I've been waiting for his call. I figured he didn't go seeing as it was 3:30 and I didn't get a call. So, lonely and bored, I called where he lives. [He lives with his friend Jordan with his grandmother]. Jordan's grandmother picks up the phone and I ask her if I may speak with Brian. She says: "Him and Jordan with out with Sheila." and hung up the phone.
Okay SO I'M SOOO PISSED. Because this isn't the FIRST TIME THIS HAPPENED!!
This happens almost EVERY DAMN WEEK!!!!
MY "BEST FRIEND" HANGS OUT WITH MY BOYFRIEND AND THEY DON'T INVITE ME, AND THEY EVEN TRY TO HIDE IT!
THIS PISSES ME OFF TO NO END.
I know a lot of people think "Ohh he's cheating on you with her." But the thing is, SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND.
I don't know WHAT is going on, but it makes me feel so left out.
The other times this happened, I ask him why, and he says stuff like "The car was full." But how could the car be full? There's Sheila, Scott [her boyfriend], Brian, and either Jordan or Tyler[Brian's brother] never Jordan and Tyler together though because they fight and never get along. So no matter what, there is ALWAYS room for me.
One time he told me "You live too far away." But it makes NO SENSE because the time he said that they went and got Tyler, WHO LIVES IN A DIFFERENT TOWN. And the town is right down the street from where I live! They could of gotten me, but choose not to.
Also when Sheila goes to get Scott, he lives out of town, and the ONLY way to get to his town is to go past my house! THERE'S NO REASON THEY COULDN'T GET ME!!
It's BS too because I'M THE ONLY ONE who gives Sheila gas money!
I do EVERYTHING for them! They wanted to play Super Smash Bro.'s so I GIVE Sheila my Gamecube and the game with 4 controllers so they can play. They say their hungry, I give them money for food!!
I'm so nice to them! Why are they doing this to me!?
My boyfriend only seems to want to hang out with me when he wants to have sex! It pisses me off!
Sheila only picks me up to hang out when she needs gas money!
I don't know what to do!
I feel like my friends and boyfriend don't give two shits about me.
When I bring this up to them, how I feel left out and stuff, they yell at me and say "MAYBE IF YOU DIDN'T COMPLAIN SO MUCH" but the ONLY time I complain is if I'm left out! It's not like when I'm with them, all I do is b***h!
A part of me is telling me to dump my boyfriend, and get new friends.
But they're all I have, and even though they're douche bags, I love them, and I have no one else.
I'm clueless what to do. And I don't know what to do to make myself feel including.
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Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2008 1:59 pm
so.. why is this guy your bf? and how could you call this chick your best friend?
you SHOULD dump them. you could always make new and BETTER friends. these guys dont seem to be worth your time. sounds to me like they're using you.
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Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2008 6:25 pm
Calypsophia so.. why is this guy your bf? and how could you call this chick your best friend? you SHOULD dump them. you could always make new and BETTER friends. these guys dont seem to be worth your time. sounds to me like they're using you. I agree. I already find it awkward that your best friend is hanging out with your boyfriend more than you do. Honestly you shouldn't take (sorry to curse) but you shouldn't take s**t from anyone. There are a lot of people in this world that would take you seriously. don't waste your life with people that act as if they don't want to be with you. It will just make you unhappy. (I hope this advice helps)
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Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 1:23 am
I think you need to chose, either you go out with this guys and feeling bad about yourself, but have "friends".
Or you decide to be alone but feel great about yourself.
I don't have any friends, but i never feel alone. I have my family, i can get what i want in school, i go to pilatis, and feel good about my body. I have lots of time to study and write on fourm on the net, and i absoulotaly love it! smile
Sometimes we think we need people around us, we are so afried of beeing alone that poeple could take advantege on this. A group can make you feel loved and strong. It makes one feel ok about him self, but...
Not every group makes you feel good. I think your friends doesn't really see you, they see a bank machine who gives free money, or they see a body that can keep them worm in a cold night. They look at you and see a goat that they can tied to a tree and it will gives them milk every day. They don't care about the goat feelings.
Today there are so many posibilaties to meet poeple, why do you chose to stay in touch with bad poeple who don't care about you?
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Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 9:24 am
Oh honey, I'm so sorry they are making you feel bad like that. They have no right to treat you that way, especially because they hold the positions of "best friend" & "boyfriend" in your life. They are not living up to the roles of best friend & boyfriend when they ignore your concerns & insult you. People who care don't attack or ignore each other. People who care will listen to each other's concerns. And if somebody hurts somebody they love, they will usually try to make up for hurting that person by giving a sincere appology that comes from the heart. They should not be shutting you out like that. They should not justify their leaving you out by saying you complain. True friends will listen to complaints & concerns & try to constructively help, if not to just lend an ear.
Maybe trying one last time to talk to them about this in a soft, sensitive way might enlighten them as to how their bahavior makes you feel. And gently remind them that as your best friend & boyfriend, you put them in high regard, & that you wish they would treat you with the same amount of kindess & respect. Yelling & fighting with them will only make them antagonistic & spiteful. If they ignore you or insult you after you've politely addressed your concerns, ditch them. You deserve better!
heart heart heart
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Posted: Tue Feb 26, 2008 5:28 pm
meleny7 Calypsophia so.. why is this guy your bf? and how could you call this chick your best friend? you SHOULD dump them. you could always make new and BETTER friends. these guys dont seem to be worth your time. sounds to me like they're using you. I agree. I already find it awkward that your best friend is hanging out with your boyfriend more than you do. Honestly you shouldn't take (sorry to curse) but you shouldn't take s**t from anyone. There are a lot of people in this world that would take you seriously. don't waste your life with people that act as if they don't want to be with you. It will just make you unhappy. (I hope this advice helps) i agree, with all this. ur "best friend" and "bf" sound like they're using u, instead of treating u as their friend
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Posted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 3:13 pm
Were your friend and boyfriend always like this?
If they've always been taking more than they've been giving, you should definitely dump those selfish people in your life!
You seem like a kind and generous person, you shouldn't be taken advantage of and then left out!
If they've only been acting like this recently, then you should confront them one on one, and see how they really feel about you. They might not necessarily be cheating on you physically, but still are treating you like dirt. Don't tolerate this!
Anyways, good luck, and let us know if you work things out or get on with your life!
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Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 2:29 pm
he knows she's movin it
knows she's usin it
Sorry to be blunt, but they are using you.
Indeed, you are being TOO NICE. They see you as a doormat: Your "best friend" for money, your "boyfriend" for sex. You have to stand up to them. Don't give her gas money next time, say "I'm out of money, sorry"..and...politely decline sex, although I'm not sure how one would go about doing that.
STOP BEING A DOORMAT. You are WAY too nice, even I'd be a bit pissed off if you gave everyone everything they asked for. Call your best friend and explain (nicely) what is going on. If she tries to make ridiculous excuses, call her out on it. Pick a time when she's in a good mood and/or not busy. Do the same with your boyfriend. Don't be afraid to be assertive and stand your ground!
Good luck.
[[There's a link in my siggy. Click it.]]
now he's losin it
and she don't care
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Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 11:15 am
hey i know it can be difficult to leave them but if they r goin to be bitches and treat u like crap then u should just leave them. they r just tryin to use u to get things. tell them tat u r rlly upset they r not hangin out with u and if they dont stop then u r going to leave them.
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Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 7:57 pm
ok i'm sorry to say this but it has to be said. there is such a thign as being too nice. not saying that it's bad but other people prey on that. iused to be like you. always giving people thigns when they needed it. but as usual the people who frequently get stuff are USING YOU!!!! they see you as a doormat. they don't respect you at all. find a bf and friends who treat you better. to your bf he might as well see you as a slut for sex. your friend might as well see you as a bank market w/e. the point is that you are not having fun you're being sued it's tiem for you to kick some butt!!!! don't let people do that to you. if the do it over and voer again it's become a habit. that'ts not lvoe or friendship. hell who knows maybe later they might just forget about you once you mvoe somewhere.
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Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 9:14 am
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Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 7:21 pm
Sounds like a friend of mine. He got extremely depressed recently because he realized EVERYONE (Yes, including me. I'm sorry :/) Talk about him behind his back. Mostly in front of him. He really has no friends but...well, me. He tries to get along with people but they think he's gay, annoying, and a loser. He stopped talkign to people. He said hey to me one of the days though. ONLY me. No one else. The people who talk about him (Somehow, my closest friends) were concerned.
My advice:
Just stop. Still talk to them and spend time with them, but stop:
Giving them money, having sex with your bf, and ask for your Gamecube back.
Think about it this way: Less time with them (Maybe just alone to "think" or study or do work) will SURELY get their attention. They will question what's going on, and say "Oh nothing. Just thought I need some time with the only person who cares about me." If they ask "Who?", say "Me" and walk away. Don't have attitude about it, just kind of shrug it off when you say it. I'm good at this stuff, so I know it works.
BUT!!!
If they don't ask, get them all together at once and tell them what's going on. If necessary, yell at them. Crying MIGHT help, if done at the right time. They don't really care about you if they don't question within 2 days. That's their limit.
Hope this works for you, and Good Luck with the rest of your life smile
(REMEMBER! NO SEX OR LENDING ANYTHING AT ALL!)
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Posted: Wed May 21, 2008 2:49 pm
im srri, but i think you hav 2 just dump them if u cant talk it out. the best thing WOULD be to talk it out with them, but if they cant, they dont deserve a good friend like you. thats my advice.
(believe me i kno wat ur talking about-my best friend has been hanging out w/ my other best friend lately and both ditched me and dont talk to me much anymore, and they did this on random, and i always do stuff 4 them...)
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