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KadberryFrooglemuffin

PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 4:08 pm
Yeah, Emmy's writing an eight book series and I've got the first chapter and preface. Hope you like it, enjoy Tainted.
Tainted

Allister Dionsio’s tale


PREFACE

It’s not right to say that I’m a righteous soul, but it isn’t accurate to call me a demon either. I am a just arbiter of the Ethereal Place, under the jurisdiction of the Epoch Kingdom, I fulfill my role as the 4th Guardian of Eternity, the Knight of Ever-After. And I am a traitor to all of my people. I fell into a dangerous vinculum with a human girl, Julia, and now life is a constant runaround, into and out of the fray. Julia, she’s everything, everything that matters to me.
This wasn’t always how things progressed. There was a time before I even truly knew Julia, in which I acted in name of New Epoch. Deeper so, before I even took up the blade, I was killed. Humanity was mine once, but being merely a spirit inside a vessel, I can’t recall it. Xenoas Gildabar, one of the newer Guardians, recollected a bit of his human past, but not very much. He could only remember the ravine, and his wild jump. But, being immortal doesn’t bother me, even with the tedious change-of-forms every 20-100 years. I just wish I’d known more about human life.
Human life, according to Vehement (the 2nd Guardian), is vastly overrated next to life in New Epoch. New Epoch envelopes the greater half of the Ethereal Plane, and it constantly celebrates for even the simplest reasons. New Epoch is really the Epoch Kingdom, what a merry kingdom it is! However, no one has ever found the ability to run it properly without corruption, so our city is continually torn and divided. New Epoch also happens to be one of the portals to the human realm, and it is one of the rare few that can allow humans to enter through it. In short, this caused the need for the Guardians of Eternity, and our little organization was born.







GRADUATION
“You ready?” Xenoas quirked. I was shaking from pretty much head to toe, and Xenoas asked the question that would make me burst.
“No.” I pinched.
“Why not? You’re going to wimp out, are you?”
“No! I just don’t want any more pressure than it’s worth!”
He just snickered at me and (thankfully) went back to his own ordeal. Today was the day Xenoas, a few others, and I would be introduced as the Guardians of Eternity, a.k.a. The Sentries. Morbia Polovetsky, a descendant of Old Epoch, and her companion Vehement would lead the team. Vehement, of whom I’ve previously spoken, is a dedicated leader, and Morbia is a very unusual person to be around. Her eyes look at you, and you feel as if every sin you’ve ever committed was right before her as evidence.
Well, on that day, two others were to round off the four person squad, those two coming from the trained blade masters. As it happened, only four of the blade masters trained had concluded their full training, including Xenoas and I. Earlier, we’d already been told who would get what position, and how to act about it to gauge public reaction. Although the ceremony was to be a solemn, demure one, the newly elected officials of court wanted their people to feel jovial every minute of the day. Morbia, the girl, argued with the official, but it was to no avail, as far as I can tell.
So now Xenoas, Lethius, Hecht, and I walk out onto the public stage. We are dressed in the grand uniforms of the graduates; a long blue robe adorned with gold embroidery and a neckpiece to outshine stars. Our weapons have been left offstage, so their weight does not affect our movement. Xenoas and Lethius waved to the wild sea of people, while my stomach churned. I truly wasn’t shy, but seeing tremendous loads of people before me watching every move I make wasn’t comforting me either. Hecht just stood, still as a statue, which was entirely normal for him. Finally, the ceremony began, and the crowds ceased. Morbia, the second in line for the throne, would crown the two to be Guardians, and Vehement, her assistant, would carry off the unlucky “losers”. As I have said before, we’d already known who would be who, so I was well prepared for my role in this charade. Xenoas would be chosen for his unending bravery and charm, and Hecht would be chosen for his skill in weaponry. Lethius and I would be carried away by Vehement, but we would rebel against him and try to strange the winners.
She passed in front of Xenoas, and said a few words muted. The royal speaker boomed, “Xenoas Gildabar! The 3rd Guardian is Xenoas Gildabar!” The crowds roared with a sudden excitement, sweeping from side to side. Xenoas waved to the people below like before, only with his signature smile this time around. As the crowd control halted the screaming mass, Morbia moved onward towards Lethius. She said no words, only tapped him on the shoulder, and then she gave him the most somber look in existence. Instantly Lethius stepped back and began to cry, unlike himself. Morbia reassembled her neutral face, then she walked onwards to Hecht. She yet again muttered her silent words, and the speaker hollered, “Hecht Strenbohn! The 4th Guardian is Hecht Strenbohn! As for Allister Dionsio and Lethius Silencio, move off the stage to make room for the new guardians!”
Of course now Lethius and I had to fight back and batter the two new heroes. Lethius and I faked it so well the crowd could have witnessed a murder without any difference in their minds. We dashed back onto the stage and assaulted Xenoas and Hecht.
I whispered in Xenoas’s ear, “Sorry, friend.”
He replied, rasped, “It’s okay, I absolutely understand you. But, if you don’t mind, please refrain from stepping on my foot.”
“Sorry.” I muttered.
The attack lasted quite some time, Xenoas gave in first while Hecht was to “put up a fight”. Hecht and Lethius struggled for a while, and my blood began to boil under my skin. A voice in my head squirmed and spoke, saying Yes, yes. Please, yes, take him down. Sudden fury overtook me, and then it all happened too fast…
Hecht fell to the ground, and Lethius stepped back. My instinct retracted, smirking evilly in my mind. I stared upon the blood spattered over the stage. The audience was terrified, and from the looks of their faces, so was everyone on stage. Hecht blinked, and twitched, which saved my guilty conscience, but Morbia was advancing on me quickly.
I closed my eyes in solemn peace. If I would die at that point, I wanted to die calmly. I stood still as a statue, awaiting my inevitable fate, until she stroked my shoulder. I blinked, then watched her melancholy grin take over me. She motioned to Vehement, and he raised my arms high. The royal speaker resounded to the crowd, “The Fourth Guardian of New Epoch! The mighty Allister Dionsio! Cheer for your hero!”
The crowd busted into a weird and wonderful fit of excitement, and I grinned from ear to ear. I’d actually become a guardian, beaten my impossible odds, and gained a spot among great champions.
Xenoas lurked behind me, and whispered in my ear, “All in a day, right Allister?”  
PostPosted: Wed Mar 28, 2007 1:09 pm
I like that first like in the Preface. Seems like it's foreshadowing something important (or alluding to, since the speaker is looking back in time). Like there will be indirect references to that section of characterization scarrered in all of the books.  

miserable failure

Invisible Assailant


Pensakura

PostPosted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 6:33 pm
KoopaTroopaMaria
I like that first like in the Preface. Seems like it's foreshadowing something important (or alluding to, since the speaker is looking back in time). Like there will be indirect references to that section of characterization scarrered in all of the books.

I agree about the preface. The only thing I disliked was the names, they were hard to pronounce and they made it sound like you were really trying hard to come up with something cool sounding. Also, indentions would have made it a bit easier to read. But otherwise it was really good.  
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35: The Sub-Forum of Fine Arts

 
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