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Reply 4: The Three R's, (Lit) RP, Reviews, & Reports (Debate/Essays/Creative Writing)
Poem: Drinking with the Relatives

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Bituminous Sky

PostPosted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 8:00 pm


sipping sake slowly, stung
by the sour, sore taste
as i come of age
rice wine in a shot glass
though it wasn't as pretty
as the bird-bedecked bottle.
i felt so small inside of it,
watching the world as spinning lights
from behind frosted glass.

the liquor gives me the giggles,
gasping grotesquely as i come up for air
all that kahlua down my throat
my grandmother's disapproving glare.
this rite of passage,
tradition of drowning.
she thinks i'm smarter than this.

when i wake at two am
still in my clothes
sick to my stomach and cottonmouthed
the truth so blatant it hurts.
i know i'm smarter than this.

i waited for legality,
the right to influenced stupidity
nothing more than private humiliation.
this is not maturity.


critique me!
PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 2:10 pm


VERY nice! Perfect!
That is an excelent description of irresponsible drinking. lol!
Probably the best poem I have seen in here.

sara-ane

Dapper Dabbler


Sage0ne

PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 10:15 pm


You've described the state of inebriation perfectly. Keep writing - you have talent!
PostPosted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 5:20 pm


I really liked the image of you sitting in the cup...

Evelian

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4: The Three R's, (Lit) RP, Reviews, & Reports (Debate/Essays/Creative Writing)

 
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