Note on the Mirror - A Tragic Poem

[Synaku_Blade]

This is a poem I wrote to make reference and perhaps an allegory to a young girl who is an ex-girlfriend of one of my best friends. She has recently committed suicide. The action prompted and inspired me to write down this tragic poem. (Just in case: I own the poem Note on the Mirror)

She shuts the door of the bathroom stall
To hide her pain
Cuts in all the wrong places
The knife acts as the bane of her life
A cascade a physical damage underway
Her blood broadcasts across the foul floor
The final solution somewhat cliché
All those stories never delivered much lore
Her tears come pelting down as clouds form in her eyes
Like the storm brewing out the windowsill
Her heart shrouded in the same darkness present in the skies
The roar of the thunder keeps her still

She left a note on the mirror near the bathroom stall
It said "Don't worry about me, theres life beyond these walls"
It was signed with her name and sealed with a kiss
She hoped her family and her friends wouldn't worry about this
There were hearts made from lipstick and scratches on the sink
Blood painted on the floor with the most malevolent of ink  

[FlyfreeIzzie]

Hello-
What a deep poem. I really enjoyed it.. well in the sense of the word.... not enjoyed but thought it represented the expereince you had and felt about your friend.

The ending gave me a chill... seems so ironic and rather mysterious trying to enter the mind of someone carrying out a suicidal plan.... what they do.. why....

Sorry for your loss and thanks for sharing  

[LunaWillowind]

It's a great poem. So sad, but also calm. I like it. And I feel sorry for your loss.  

[Kirinkinetic Telepathetic]

it's a beautiful elegy. I liked it's calmness the most. my condolences, sorry for your loss.  

[Synaku_Blade]

Just to clear something up, this is not necessarily my loss, but the loss of someone else. The girl who did the action in question was more the friend of on one of my friends. Although I appreciate your condolences. I'm sure my friend will as well.

 

[Staring Off Into Space]

I like the second part of the poem but the first just seems superficial to me. No offense to you (because I dont like many people's poems) of course but maybe add more personal experiences of you and her and then like work into it how she stopped doing those things. I dunno it needs something in the beginning.