Welcome to Gaia! ::

Thanks again everyone, I really feel like someone actually cares from the comments here...Which feels so nice.
About the trial thing, not much new. They're having ANOTHER one. My dad still has a chance at going to jail. At least, he thinks so. He's probably going to lose his job, and if that happens, my whole family is screwed because my mom can't find a job either. We're all living off of him. The one good thing he does, work and bring money.
Okay...I know it's here on the internet so it's all over the place, but I want to ask anyone who is about to read this that they keep it to themselves, because I'm not allowed to let this out to anyone, especially not to local friends/siblings that could see this.
First off, my parents are officially divorced, however they still have some court hearings and things. But even though my dad hit my mom, she still cannot fully get over him. There's a part of her that still loves him, it's like undying or something. So to make a long story short, I'm probably going to move into my Aunt's house this summer. This will be the best thing or the worst thing. Or both.
I'll be away from my brothers, one of which is someone that actually seems to care about me. I don't think I can live without him, though we'll still talk online. Also, I won't be able to live with the fact that my brother is probably going to be stuck living with my dad and his gf who my brother already dislikes...And my dad's going to be giving her all the attention, I know it.
Onto more of issues with myself, I'm going to be losing all of my friends here. Which will be kind of good, I'll be able to choose new, better friends and won't have any embarrassing pasts with them. Plus, my current friends treat me horribly for the most part, so it won't be too big of a loss. Though sometimes they're nice to me and they tell me sometimes that I'm a great friend to them, so I'll feel bad leaving them. Though with them too, I'll be chatting online with them.
More negatives, I'd be moving to Kentucky, almost in the middle of nowhere in a small house. I've heard there are bad insects down there at times and bad weather, which I'll be paranoid of. And I just don't like the location. Though it would definitely be nice to get away from those I hate both where I live now and away from more people down there.
My Aunt is nice though and she helps my mom a lot. She's organized, works, and is altogether a great person. There are friendlier relatives down there too, ones that aren't always lying and ones that make you feel loved. She would help teach me lots of skills like cooking, more cleaning, and all that kind of stuff. She's great with hair and stuff too, so maybe I could do something special with my hair and feel better about my looks or something, haha.
Altogether, I just don't know if I'd want to move there.

i think i kinda get where ur coming from, i have been depressed since age 4, cause i wish my parents were divorced, i know its an aweful thing to say but all they do is yell. when i was four i was beaten by my mom, and told me never to tell any one otherwise i would destroy my whole family. so i never did, and when my dad wasnt home she would do it if i took a wrong step, she had always been someone i wanted to carry me, and i was only a burden, she was working when she wasnt with me, and my dad was only at work, and i was with a babysitter for 8 hours a day. i finally told myself at age 4 that it was all my fault and she did it for my own good. when i was little i would lay on my bed and not eat hours on in hopeing i would starve myself, but it never happened. the hitting stoped when my mom fell down the stairs and became disabled, and workmens comp would not pay or help, my mom cant remember doing anything to me, and both parents just think im going through bad stages my whole life. so im 15 now but i still dont eat, and life sucks, even if parents divorsed i wouldnt want to go with any of them. i just stick with my one obsession but it in it self is a disapointment cause its not real.......i would say u get a hobby its kept me alive for years