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 Posted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 9:46 am
ok, i'll make it as short as possible. every now that then, my boyfriend and i get into small arguments. nothing troublesome, really; most of the times we do it for the sport of debating, nothing more. but there are times when he says some things that kinda tick me off. i try to suppress the emotion [i do this a lot], but sumtimes i'm angry for longe periods of time. not days, though, i force myself to forget. nonetheless, i remain angry for a little while. the problem here is....i get tired of hiding it. sometimes i just wanna scream my lungs out to him [note: EXAGGERATING!! but i do want to fight sumtimes], tell him how it pisses me off and all. but i never do. i'm always afraid that my little "confrontation" will give way to something worse, an actual fight between him and me. i am fully aware relationships aren't alays peaches and cream, fully aware that there are times when we'll be very angry at each other..but i don't want to consciously be the cause of it over such a trifle crying ...so i wonder if i do right in not saying anything, and swallowing my anger...i hate confrontations and fights, i avoid them as much as a i can. my background [youth, tho i'm not all that old, only 19] was filled fights, yells, unexpected events, and plenty more things i rather leave unsaid so as to not think about them. that's why i avoid it. but i wonder if it's wrong to do so....anybody has an idea what i should do? i'm open to all sort of suggestions, advice, and anything u can think of. thanks in advance!!
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Posted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 7:41 pm
Bottling up your feelings like that can lead to serious health problems. I would try just telling him calmly what he said that made you so upset and why it did so. That way it won't be a "confrontation" it'll be expressing your boundaries as a person that you expect him to be aware of.
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Posted: Fri Nov 03, 2006 7:26 am
Tell him how pissed off you are. Don't hide it.
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Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 11:49 pm
I think its all three poll questions .....communication is a big part of it and then your not telling him about it so your avoiding the situtation and i took the poll for the gold!
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Posted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 9:32 pm
Getting angry at him and yelling your head off is not the answer but it's better then surpressing your feelings and anger. Don't bottle up your emotions because it's bad for your health and you'll end up snapping later on.
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Posted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 9:40 pm
mostly i do what ioji said, that's my way of handling things [most things]. but his way is right then and there, in the moment of the situation and emotion....and i understand that later on i'll just snap [been near it, maybe even trhu it, but i don't wanna think on it so i'm not sure sweatdrop ] .... *sigh* i know it's bad, but i don't see myself stopping. perhaps i got too used to it question
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Posted: Sat Dec 09, 2006 9:11 pm
before replying when you're pissed, make sure you calm down. take a deep breath. more than often, I've gotten myself into a bad situation because I can't swallow it and stay rational. you have to say it in a way that won't provoke further fighting, for example, if it's something offensive, say, without yelling, that was an offensive thing to say, and please don't say it anymore. something instead of "YOU"RE WRONG YOU!@#$" that'll lead to the scrap you're fearing. you also might say, that's not what I think, or any other calm phrase.
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