Tell it like it is...

[Aurora Sing]

One late night I couldn't sleep so I stayed up and added a game to my subforum that no one was getting into. Since no one was interested I decided to give all the replys to myself. But shortly after someone else showed up and we started this crazy story about a mongoose wearing a fuzzy pink tutu that danced around. All the people of the village loved the mongoose and his tutu so one day the mayor of the village had a great idea!

He decided to give the mongoose the key to the city. But there was a catch, it turns out that the mongoose was an evil mongoose. So the villagers assembled to hang me, so I ran down to the old lake naked and jumped into the freezing water. Hey the freezing water is better than getting hanged! Unfortunately, on the other side of the lake was a vicious possum. Oh sure I was scared at first sight but when I noticed it's fangs, I sh*t my pants. Fleeing from the scene, I tried to muster some strength. Alas, It was almost impossible until I remembered that the berries native to the land gave you super kick-a** karate and roundhouse kick skills like Chuck Norris! I began to give those blasted raccoons their "what's for" when suddenly I remembered that the possums were my targets. So I ran to my hut to get clothes on--naked round house kicks=not cool! On the way there I spotted the mongoose who tried to get me hanged in the first place.

We stared each other down for a bit before he started doing this "Kill Bill" sort of thing. He had this insanely long sword (actually his tail was unusually long too). I still needed to flee from the evil mongoose! I tricked him into looking in the woods by saying " that his doctor was in there and he wanted to give him a strawberry-flavored lollipop, but then the mongoose said (I didn't know they could talk!) "Are you trying to trick me--I will not fall for it, I want to give you a waffle." So we shared waffles and lollipops in the woods. Which was lucky for me 'cause I was starved! I refocused on my plan to get clothes so I mentioned I needed more syrup and darted to my hut. You will never believe what I found when I got there! It was the biggest plate of pancakes in the world! "That is a mighty big plate of pancakes..." I thought to myself. "Is being naked really that bad?"

This of course only brought on the next question. "Where on earth did everything else in the house go?" All that was left was the biggest plate of pancakes in the world and my glow in the dark snorkel. The one and same snorkel that I used to save the world from the calico colored hamster!! I thought that I could use the snorkel for sustenance in case the pancakes disappeared. I opened the window and I saw Jeff, my long lost room mate, dancing with the evil mongoose!! I grabbed my snorkle, jumped out my open window and shouted, "Thundercats, HOOOOO!!!!!" as I charged into the fray, only to realize that I was standing in what appeared to be the parkinglot of a 7-11.

But the 7-11 was closed for the night! What would I do without my late night slurpee. Jeff and the mongoose also seemed to realise that there was a problem with the absense of slurpees, and the mongoose did not waste a single second after realising this extreme tactical advantage. As he ominously warbled close and closer, I couldn't help but think about the starving children just up the road from me. Or the sadistic plight of me standing in a 7-11 parking lot, covered with only a snorkel. Just then Jeff remembered that he worked for this 7-11 and pulled the store key out of his a**s. I wondered why he would keep such a thing in there, but decided that there wasn't time enough for such speculation, we had to get into that 7-11 and get our slurpees!!

So Jeff unlocked the door of the 7-11, and we entered. To our suprise, instead of the inside of a 7-11, what we saw was the single worst thing imaginable. The slurpee machine was missing and in it's place was a swirling black vortex that was gradually growing, swallowing everything in it's way. "Perfect," I thought as I grabbed the evil mongoose and threw him in the vortex. Then Jeff spun toward me in a crazy kung-fu karate tae-kwon-do kick punch thingie, I really don't know what it was, but it hurt like hell. "Jeff!" I exclaimed."What was that for!!!" I was so mad that I punched him in the gut and he stumbled backwards drawing nearer and nearer to the slurppe machine. I was relieved that it was safe.

Well that was until Jeff collided with it and grabbed my foot just before slipping into the vortex. "Not again" I thought. I felt like Alice falling down the rabbit hole, when we finally hit bottom, I opened my eyes and couldn't see a thing! "Jeff!?" I yelled out, "Jeff, are you here? Help, I've gone blind!"
Then I felt something grab me and I yelled at the top of my lungs. "Shut up you idiot." I heard Jeff's voice say. Then he slapped me across the face. "Open your eyes, you silly fool."

"Oh thank god! I'm not blind!!" but I almost wished I was because what I saw was the most horrible thing conceivable to man. There was a slurpee machine alright, but the only flavor was...blue raspberry. Which is disgusting because how can something be "blue" flavoured? And if blackberries were black, then are raspberries razz? This was no time for psycological questions, so just a beat the stupid thing to death using what ever I could find. Which so happened to be a mongoose shaped log. Oh wait, it was the mongoose. In any case I was so enraged by the slurpee machine problem that I beat the machine with the mongoose, until Jeff grabbed him out of my hands and shouted, "Stop! You can't hurt the Mongoose!" Then I recalled seeing Jeff dancing with the Mongoose earlier and wondered what the hell was going on here.
"What the hell is going on here?!" I said
"The mongoose and i are in love!" exclaimed jeff "so leave him alone and stop beating things with him! and his name is MR. mongoose, thank you very much." so jeff picked up mr. mongoose and started walking away. After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I shook my head, I still wasn't sure what just happened?!? And are we not still stuck in some space time continuum, Now what? I asked myself how much is enough.

Shrugging off the problems of Jeff and the Mongoose, I tried to see a way out of this nightmarish situation. I look around, but all I see is that useless slurpee machine and endless blackness. Blackness that seemed to want to just jump up and say... Wait a minute! The blackness was jumping... The blackness was becoming, unblack! As my eyes adjusted I saw a large and threatening-looking group of kangaroos bouncing towards us. Could this day get any worse?? The kangaroos were wearing boxing gloves they looked like they meant business. The leader kangaroo (I knew he was the leader cause he had a gold tooth and the other roo's were calling him sir) came up to me and said, "Are you in charge of this operation?" The humorlessness of his voice made me feel like I was going to wet my pants, and all that would come out of my mouth was "no, go talk to the mongoose's lover, he knows what's going on." suddenly i was speaking kangaroo! "He's the one you would have the most luck talking too!" The cheif kangaroo turned around and I socked him in the tail.

Big mistake. The chief kangaroo slowly turned around and stood in front of me. He leaned back on his tail and gave me one giant kick from his powerful hind legs. The force was such that I was pushed back through the vortex!! I grabbed at the first thing I could find as I was falling back-and wouldn't you know it was the mongoose's tail!! We fell back through the vortex and crashed back in the village. I heard this horrible sound following after us it was... only Jeff. Phew!

We now stood in the parking lot outside of the 7-11, and it appeared to be about dawn. Soon the store would be open and perhaps all will be normal again and I could get that slurpee! I stared at the 'open' sign as a dark figure in the window walked towards it. I figured it had to be the store attendant. But when I got closer I saw it was one of the Kangaroos!! A look of horror crossed my face, but as I looked at Jeff and the Mongoose, they seemed to be supressing laughter. Why the devil would they be doing that for? I thought, what could be so funny that they were laughing hysterically and rolling on the ground?!
"What on earth is so funny?! I asked them bitterly.
"It's just that..." Jeff said between snickers, "Well... April Fools!!" With this he burst out laughing again. This just happened to confuse me even more because it was June! "You're a little late, Jeff." I said angrily. Just then my buddy Steve took the kangaroo mask off. What the?? He joined in the laughter at the same time. All of the sudden everyone was laughing so hard that milk started coming out of their noses! I need to check the Evil Mongoose 12 step plan to take over the world, but I believe that milk coming out of everyone's noses is definately not on the list.

Trying to figure out what was going on, I wandered, totally lost in thought, my head was spinning! As I walked I started to sing an Irish drinking song, which went something like this ...

"won't ya be my girlfrind, Molly?
life with you could be quite jolly!
cloning simple sheep namd dolly,
come and be my bride by golly!"
But then the steam roller came and flattened the space time continuum again, hurling us all into the 7-11. I was completely shocked, mainly because it felt like I was getting sucked back into a really bad dream, which I thought was all an elaborate joke played by my buddy Jeff.  

[chessiejo]

One late night I couldn't sleep so I stayed up and added a game to my subforum that no one was getting into. Since no one was interested I decided to give all the replys to myself. But shortly after someone else showed up and we started this crazy story about a mongoose wearing a fuzzy pink tutu that danced around. All the people of the village loved the mongoose and his tutu so one day the mayor of the village had a great idea!

He decided to give the mongoose the key to the city. But there was a catch, it turns out that the mongoose was an evil mongoose. So the villagers assembled to hang me, so I ran down to the old lake naked and jumped into the freezing water. Hey the freezing water is better than getting hanged! Unfortunately, on the other side of the lake was a vicious possum. Oh sure I was scared at first sight but when I noticed it's fangs, I sh*t my pants. Fleeing from the scene, I tried to muster some strength. Alas, It was almost impossible until I remembered that the berries native to the land gave you super kick-a** karate and roundhouse kick skills like Chuck Norris! I began to give those blasted raccoons their "what's for" when suddenly I remembered that the possums were my targets. So I ran to my hut to get clothes on--naked round house kicks=not cool! On the way there I spotted the mongoose who tried to get me hanged in the first place.

We stared each other down for a bit before he started doing this "Kill Bill" sort of thing. He had this insanely long sword (actually his tail was unusually long too). I still needed to flee from the evil mongoose! I tricked him into looking in the woods by saying " that his doctor was in there and he wanted to give him a strawberry-flavored lollipop, but then the mongoose said (I didn't know they could talk!) "Are you trying to trick me--I will not fall for it, I want to give you a waffle." So we shared waffles and lollipops in the woods. Which was lucky for me 'cause I was starved! I refocused on my plan to get clothes so I mentioned I needed more syrup and darted to my hut. You will never believe what I found when I got there! It was the biggest plate of pancakes in the world! "That is a mighty big plate of pancakes..." I thought to myself. "Is being naked really that bad?"

This of course only brought on the next question. "Where on earth did everything else in the house go?" All that was left was the biggest plate of pancakes in the world and my glow in the dark snorkel. The one and same snorkel that I used to save the world from the calico colored hamster!! I thought that I could use the snorkel for sustenance in case the pancakes disappeared. I opened the window and I saw Jeff, my long lost room mate, dancing with the evil mongoose!! I grabbed my snorkle, jumped out my open window and shouted, "Thundercats, HOOOOO!!!!!" as I charged into the fray, only to realize that I was standing in what appeared to be the parkinglot of a 7-11.

But the 7-11 was closed for the night! What would I do without my late night slurpee. Jeff and the mongoose also seemed to realise that there was a problem with the absense of slurpees, and the mongoose did not waste a single second after realising this extreme tactical advantage. As he ominously warbled close and closer, I couldn't help but think about the starving children just up the road from me. Or the sadistic plight of me standing in a 7-11 parking lot, covered with only a snorkel. Just then Jeff remembered that he worked for this 7-11 and pulled the store key out of his a**s. I wondered why he would keep such a thing in there, but decided that there wasn't time enough for such speculation, we had to get into that 7-11 and get our slurpees!!

So Jeff unlocked the door of the 7-11, and we entered. To our suprise, instead of the inside of a 7-11, what we saw was the single worst thing imaginable. The slurpee machine was missing and in it's place was a swirling black vortex that was gradually growing, swallowing everything in it's way. "Perfect," I thought as I grabbed the evil mongoose and threw him in the vortex. Then Jeff spun toward me in a crazy kung-fu karate tae-kwon-do kick punch thingie, I really don't know what it was, but it hurt like hell. "Jeff!" I exclaimed."What was that for!!!" I was so mad that I punched him in the gut and he stumbled backwards drawing nearer and nearer to the slurppe machine. I was relieved that it was safe.

Well that was until Jeff collided with it and grabbed my foot just before slipping into the vortex. "Not again" I thought. I felt like Alice falling down the rabbit hole, when we finally hit bottom, I opened my eyes and couldn't see a thing! "Jeff!?" I yelled out, "Jeff, are you here? Help, I've gone blind!"
Then I felt something grab me and I yelled at the top of my lungs. "Shut up you idiot." I heard Jeff's voice say. Then he slapped me across the face. "Open your eyes, you silly fool."

"Oh thank god! I'm not blind!!" but I almost wished I was because what I saw was the most horrible thing conceivable to man. There was a slurpee machine alright, but the only flavor was...blue raspberry. Which is disgusting because how can something be "blue" flavoured? And if blackberries were black, then are raspberries razz? This was no time for psycological questions, so just a beat the stupid thing to death using what ever I could find. Which so happened to be a mongoose shaped log. Oh wait, it was the mongoose. In any case I was so enraged by the slurpee machine problem that I beat the machine with the mongoose, until Jeff grabbed him out of my hands and shouted, "Stop! You can't hurt the Mongoose!" Then I recalled seeing Jeff dancing with the Mongoose earlier and wondered what the hell was going on here.
"What the hell is going on here?!" I said
"The mongoose and i are in love!" exclaimed jeff "so leave him alone and stop beating things with him! and his name is MR. mongoose, thank you very much." so jeff picked up mr. mongoose and started walking away. After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I shook my head, I still wasn't sure what just happened?!? And are we not still stuck in some space time continuum, Now what? I asked myself how much is enough.

Shrugging off the problems of Jeff and the Mongoose, I tried to see a way out of this nightmarish situation. I look around, but all I see is that useless slurpee machine and endless blackness. Blackness that seemed to want to just jump up and say... Wait a minute! The blackness was jumping... The blackness was becoming, unblack! As my eyes adjusted I saw a large and threatening-looking group of kangaroos bouncing towards us. Could this day get any worse?? The kangaroos were wearing boxing gloves they looked like they meant business. The leader kangaroo (I knew he was the leader cause he had a gold tooth and the other roo's were calling him sir) came up to me and said, "Are you in charge of this operation?" The humorlessness of his voice made me feel like I was going to wet my pants, and all that would come out of my mouth was "no, go talk to the mongoose's lover, he knows what's going on." suddenly i was speaking kangaroo! "He's the one you would have the most luck talking too!" The cheif kangaroo turned around and I socked him in the tail.

Big mistake. The chief kangaroo slowly turned around and stood in front of me. He leaned back on his tail and gave me one giant kick from his powerful hind legs. The force was such that I was pushed back through the vortex!! I grabbed at the first thing I could find as I was falling back-and wouldn't you know it was the mongoose's tail!! We fell back through the vortex and crashed back in the village. I heard this horrible sound following after us it was... only Jeff. Phew!

We now stood in the parking lot outside of the 7-11, and it appeared to be about dawn. Soon the store would be open and perhaps all will be normal again and I could get that slurpee! I stared at the 'open' sign as a dark figure in the window walked towards it. I figured it had to be the store attendant. But when I got closer I saw it was one of the Kangaroos!! A look of horror crossed my face, but as I looked at Jeff and the Mongoose, they seemed to be supressing laughter. Why the devil would they be doing that for? I thought, what could be so funny that they were laughing hysterically and rolling on the ground?!
"What on earth is so funny?! I asked them bitterly.
"It's just that..." Jeff said between snickers, "Well... April Fools!!" With this he burst out laughing again. This just happened to confuse me even more because it was June! "You're a little late, Jeff." I said angrily. Just then my buddy Steve took the kangaroo mask off. What the?? He joined in the laughter at the same time. All of the sudden everyone was laughing so hard that milk started coming out of their noses! I need to check the Evil Mongoose 12 step plan to take over the world, but I believe that milk coming out of everyone's noses is definately not on the list.

Trying to figure out what was going on, I wandered, totally lost in thought, my head was spinning! As I walked I started to sing an Irish drinking song, which went something like this ...

"won't ya be my girlfrind, Molly?
life with you could be quite jolly!
cloning simple sheep namd dolly,
come and be my bride by golly!"
But then the steam roller came and flattened the space time continuum again, hurling us all into the 7-11. I was completely shocked, mainly because it felt like I was getting sucked back into a really bad dream, which I thought was all an elaborate joke played by my buddy Jeff.

But then Jeff floated by in two pieces, top half and bottom half, both laughing maniacally; don't ask me how.  

[Aurora Sing]

One late night I couldn't sleep so I stayed up and added a game to my subforum that no one was getting into. Since no one was interested I decided to give all the replys to myself. But shortly after someone else showed up and we started this crazy story about a mongoose wearing a fuzzy pink tutu that danced around. All the people of the village loved the mongoose and his tutu so one day the mayor of the village had a great idea!

He decided to give the mongoose the key to the city. But there was a catch, it turns out that the mongoose was an evil mongoose. So the villagers assembled to hang me, so I ran down to the old lake naked and jumped into the freezing water. Hey the freezing water is better than getting hanged! Unfortunately, on the other side of the lake was a vicious possum. Oh sure I was scared at first sight but when I noticed it's fangs, I sh*t my pants. Fleeing from the scene, I tried to muster some strength. Alas, It was almost impossible until I remembered that the berries native to the land gave you super kick-a** karate and roundhouse kick skills like Chuck Norris! I began to give those blasted raccoons their "what's for" when suddenly I remembered that the possums were my targets. So I ran to my hut to get clothes on--naked round house kicks=not cool! On the way there I spotted the mongoose who tried to get me hanged in the first place.

We stared each other down for a bit before he started doing this "Kill Bill" sort of thing. He had this insanely long sword (actually his tail was unusually long too). I still needed to flee from the evil mongoose! I tricked him into looking in the woods by saying " that his doctor was in there and he wanted to give him a strawberry-flavored lollipop, but then the mongoose said (I didn't know they could talk!) "Are you trying to trick me--I will not fall for it, I want to give you a waffle." So we shared waffles and lollipops in the woods. Which was lucky for me 'cause I was starved! I refocused on my plan to get clothes so I mentioned I needed more syrup and darted to my hut. You will never believe what I found when I got there! It was the biggest plate of pancakes in the world! "That is a mighty big plate of pancakes..." I thought to myself. "Is being naked really that bad?"

This of course only brought on the next question. "Where on earth did everything else in the house go?" All that was left was the biggest plate of pancakes in the world and my glow in the dark snorkel. The one and same snorkel that I used to save the world from the calico colored hamster!! I thought that I could use the snorkel for sustenance in case the pancakes disappeared. I opened the window and I saw Jeff, my long lost room mate, dancing with the evil mongoose!! I grabbed my snorkle, jumped out my open window and shouted, "Thundercats, HOOOOO!!!!!" as I charged into the fray, only to realize that I was standing in what appeared to be the parkinglot of a 7-11.

But the 7-11 was closed for the night! What would I do without my late night slurpee. Jeff and the mongoose also seemed to realise that there was a problem with the absense of slurpees, and the mongoose did not waste a single second after realising this extreme tactical advantage. As he ominously warbled close and closer, I couldn't help but think about the starving children just up the road from me. Or the sadistic plight of me standing in a 7-11 parking lot, covered with only a snorkel. Just then Jeff remembered that he worked for this 7-11 and pulled the store key out of his a**s. I wondered why he would keep such a thing in there, but decided that there wasn't time enough for such speculation, we had to get into that 7-11 and get our slurpees!!

So Jeff unlocked the door of the 7-11, and we entered. To our suprise, instead of the inside of a 7-11, what we saw was the single worst thing imaginable. The slurpee machine was missing and in it's place was a swirling black vortex that was gradually growing, swallowing everything in it's way. "Perfect," I thought as I grabbed the evil mongoose and threw him in the vortex. Then Jeff spun toward me in a crazy kung-fu karate tae-kwon-do kick punch thingie, I really don't know what it was, but it hurt like hell. "Jeff!" I exclaimed."What was that for!!!" I was so mad that I punched him in the gut and he stumbled backwards drawing nearer and nearer to the slurppe machine. I was relieved that it was safe.

Well that was until Jeff collided with it and grabbed my foot just before slipping into the vortex. "Not again" I thought. I felt like Alice falling down the rabbit hole, when we finally hit bottom, I opened my eyes and couldn't see a thing! "Jeff!?" I yelled out, "Jeff, are you here? Help, I've gone blind!"
Then I felt something grab me and I yelled at the top of my lungs. "Shut up you idiot." I heard Jeff's voice say. Then he slapped me across the face. "Open your eyes, you silly fool."

"Oh thank god! I'm not blind!!" but I almost wished I was because what I saw was the most horrible thing conceivable to man. There was a slurpee machine alright, but the only flavor was...blue raspberry. Which is disgusting because how can something be "blue" flavoured? And if blackberries were black, then are raspberries razz? This was no time for psycological questions, so just a beat the stupid thing to death using what ever I could find. Which so happened to be a mongoose shaped log. Oh wait, it was the mongoose. In any case I was so enraged by the slurpee machine problem that I beat the machine with the mongoose, until Jeff grabbed him out of my hands and shouted, "Stop! You can't hurt the Mongoose!" Then I recalled seeing Jeff dancing with the Mongoose earlier and wondered what the hell was going on here.
"What the hell is going on here?!" I said
"The mongoose and i are in love!" exclaimed jeff "so leave him alone and stop beating things with him! and his name is MR. mongoose, thank you very much." so jeff picked up mr. mongoose and started walking away. After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I shook my head, I still wasn't sure what just happened?!? And are we not still stuck in some space time continuum, Now what? I asked myself how much is enough.

Shrugging off the problems of Jeff and the Mongoose, I tried to see a way out of this nightmarish situation. I look around, but all I see is that useless slurpee machine and endless blackness. Blackness that seemed to want to just jump up and say... Wait a minute! The blackness was jumping... The blackness was becoming, unblack! As my eyes adjusted I saw a large and threatening-looking group of kangaroos bouncing towards us. Could this day get any worse?? The kangaroos were wearing boxing gloves they looked like they meant business. The leader kangaroo (I knew he was the leader cause he had a gold tooth and the other roo's were calling him sir) came up to me and said, "Are you in charge of this operation?" The humorlessness of his voice made me feel like I was going to wet my pants, and all that would come out of my mouth was "no, go talk to the mongoose's lover, he knows what's going on." suddenly i was speaking kangaroo! "He's the one you would have the most luck talking too!" The cheif kangaroo turned around and I socked him in the tail.

Big mistake. The chief kangaroo slowly turned around and stood in front of me. He leaned back on his tail and gave me one giant kick from his powerful hind legs. The force was such that I was pushed back through the vortex!! I grabbed at the first thing I could find as I was falling back-and wouldn't you know it was the mongoose's tail!! We fell back through the vortex and crashed back in the village. I heard this horrible sound following after us it was... only Jeff. Phew!

We now stood in the parking lot outside of the 7-11, and it appeared to be about dawn. Soon the store would be open and perhaps all will be normal again and I could get that slurpee! I stared at the 'open' sign as a dark figure in the window walked towards it. I figured it had to be the store attendant. But when I got closer I saw it was one of the Kangaroos!! A look of horror crossed my face, but as I looked at Jeff and the Mongoose, they seemed to be supressing laughter. Why the devil would they be doing that for? I thought, what could be so funny that they were laughing hysterically and rolling on the ground?!
"What on earth is so funny?! I asked them bitterly.
"It's just that..." Jeff said between snickers, "Well... April Fools!!" With this he burst out laughing again. This just happened to confuse me even more because it was June! "You're a little late, Jeff." I said angrily. Just then my buddy Steve took the kangaroo mask off. What the?? He joined in the laughter at the same time. All of the sudden everyone was laughing so hard that milk started coming out of their noses! I need to check the Evil Mongoose 12 step plan to take over the world, but I believe that milk coming out of everyone's noses is definately not on the list.

Trying to figure out what was going on, I wandered, totally lost in thought, my head was spinning! As I walked I started to sing an Irish drinking song, which went something like this ...

"won't ya be my girlfrind, Molly?
life with you could be quite jolly!
cloning simple sheep namd dolly,
come and be my bride by golly!"
But then the steam roller came and flattened the space time continuum again, hurling us all into the 7-11. I was completely shocked, mainly because it felt like I was getting sucked back into a really bad dream, which I thought was all an elaborate joke played by my buddy Jeff.

But then Jeff floated by in two pieces, top half and bottom half, both laughing maniacally; don't ask me how. Now I was convinced that those mushrooms down by the lake earlier couldn't have been good.  

[Annebella]

One late night I couldn't sleep so I stayed up and added a game to my subforum that no one was getting into. Since no one was interested I decided to give all the replys to myself. But shortly after someone else showed up and we started this crazy story about a mongoose wearing a fuzzy pink tutu that danced around. All the people of the village loved the mongoose and his tutu so one day the mayor of the village had a great idea!

He decided to give the mongoose the key to the city. But there was a catch, it turns out that the mongoose was an evil mongoose. So the villagers assembled to hang me, so I ran down to the old lake naked and jumped into the freezing water. Hey the freezing water is better than getting hanged! Unfortunately, on the other side of the lake was a vicious possum. Oh sure I was scared at first sight but when I noticed it's fangs, I sh*t my pants. Fleeing from the scene, I tried to muster some strength. Alas, It was almost impossible until I remembered that the berries native to the land gave you super kick-a** karate and roundhouse kick skills like Chuck Norris! I began to give those blasted raccoons their "what's for" when suddenly I remembered that the possums were my targets. So I ran to my hut to get clothes on--naked round house kicks=not cool! On the way there I spotted the mongoose who tried to get me hanged in the first place.

We stared each other down for a bit before he started doing this "Kill Bill" sort of thing. He had this insanely long sword (actually his tail was unusually long too). I still needed to flee from the evil mongoose! I tricked him into looking in the woods by saying " that his doctor was in there and he wanted to give him a strawberry-flavored lollipop, but then the mongoose said (I didn't know they could talk!) "Are you trying to trick me--I will not fall for it, I want to give you a waffle." So we shared waffles and lollipops in the woods. Which was lucky for me 'cause I was starved! I refocused on my plan to get clothes so I mentioned I needed more syrup and darted to my hut. You will never believe what I found when I got there! It was the biggest plate of pancakes in the world! "That is a mighty big plate of pancakes..." I thought to myself. "Is being naked really that bad?"

This of course only brought on the next question. "Where on earth did everything else in the house go?" All that was left was the biggest plate of pancakes in the world and my glow in the dark snorkel. The one and same snorkel that I used to save the world from the calico colored hamster!! I thought that I could use the snorkel for sustenance in case the pancakes disappeared. I opened the window and I saw Jeff, my long lost room mate, dancing with the evil mongoose!! I grabbed my snorkle, jumped out my open window and shouted, "Thundercats, HOOOOO!!!!!" as I charged into the fray, only to realize that I was standing in what appeared to be the parkinglot of a 7-11.

But the 7-11 was closed for the night! What would I do without my late night slurpee. Jeff and the mongoose also seemed to realise that there was a problem with the absense of slurpees, and the mongoose did not waste a single second after realising this extreme tactical advantage. As he ominously warbled close and closer, I couldn't help but think about the starving children just up the road from me. Or the sadistic plight of me standing in a 7-11 parking lot, covered with only a snorkel. Just then Jeff remembered that he worked for this 7-11 and pulled the store key out of his a**s. I wondered why he would keep such a thing in there, but decided that there wasn't time enough for such speculation, we had to get into that 7-11 and get our slurpees!!

So Jeff unlocked the door of the 7-11, and we entered. To our suprise, instead of the inside of a 7-11, what we saw was the single worst thing imaginable. The slurpee machine was missing and in it's place was a swirling black vortex that was gradually growing, swallowing everything in it's way. "Perfect," I thought as I grabbed the evil mongoose and threw him in the vortex. Then Jeff spun toward me in a crazy kung-fu karate tae-kwon-do kick punch thingie, I really don't know what it was, but it hurt like hell. "Jeff!" I exclaimed."What was that for!!!" I was so mad that I punched him in the gut and he stumbled backwards drawing nearer and nearer to the slurppe machine. I was relieved that it was safe.

Well that was until Jeff collided with it and grabbed my foot just before slipping into the vortex. "Not again" I thought. I felt like Alice falling down the rabbit hole, when we finally hit bottom, I opened my eyes and couldn't see a thing! "Jeff!?" I yelled out, "Jeff, are you here? Help, I've gone blind!"
Then I felt something grab me and I yelled at the top of my lungs. "Shut up you idiot." I heard Jeff's voice say. Then he slapped me across the face. "Open your eyes, you silly fool."

"Oh thank god! I'm not blind!!" but I almost wished I was because what I saw was the most horrible thing conceivable to man. There was a slurpee machine alright, but the only flavor was...blue raspberry. Which is disgusting because how can something be "blue" flavoured? And if blackberries were black, then are raspberries razz? This was no time for psycological questions, so just a beat the stupid thing to death using what ever I could find. Which so happened to be a mongoose shaped log. Oh wait, it was the mongoose. In any case I was so enraged by the slurpee machine problem that I beat the machine with the mongoose, until Jeff grabbed him out of my hands and shouted, "Stop! You can't hurt the Mongoose!" Then I recalled seeing Jeff dancing with the Mongoose earlier and wondered what the hell was going on here.
"What the hell is going on here?!" I said
"The mongoose and i are in love!" exclaimed jeff "so leave him alone and stop beating things with him! and his name is MR. mongoose, thank you very much." so jeff picked up mr. mongoose and started walking away. After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I shook my head, I still wasn't sure what just happened?!? And are we not still stuck in some space time continuum, Now what? I asked myself how much is enough.

Shrugging off the problems of Jeff and the Mongoose, I tried to see a way out of this nightmarish situation. I look around, but all I see is that useless slurpee machine and endless blackness. Blackness that seemed to want to just jump up and say... Wait a minute! The blackness was jumping... The blackness was becoming, unblack! As my eyes adjusted I saw a large and threatening-looking group of kangaroos bouncing towards us. Could this day get any worse?? The kangaroos were wearing boxing gloves they looked like they meant business. The leader kangaroo (I knew he was the leader cause he had a gold tooth and the other roo's were calling him sir) came up to me and said, "Are you in charge of this operation?" The humorlessness of his voice made me feel like I was going to wet my pants, and all that would come out of my mouth was "no, go talk to the mongoose's lover, he knows what's going on." suddenly i was speaking kangaroo! "He's the one you would have the most luck talking too!" The cheif kangaroo turned around and I socked him in the tail.

Big mistake. The chief kangaroo slowly turned around and stood in front of me. He leaned back on his tail and gave me one giant kick from his powerful hind legs. The force was such that I was pushed back through the vortex!! I grabbed at the first thing I could find as I was falling back-and wouldn't you know it was the mongoose's tail!! We fell back through the vortex and crashed back in the village. I heard this horrible sound following after us it was... only Jeff. Phew!

We now stood in the parking lot outside of the 7-11, and it appeared to be about dawn. Soon the store would be open and perhaps all will be normal again and I could get that slurpee! I stared at the 'open' sign as a dark figure in the window walked towards it. I figured it had to be the store attendant. But when I got closer I saw it was one of the Kangaroos!! A look of horror crossed my face, but as I looked at Jeff and the Mongoose, they seemed to be supressing laughter. Why the devil would they be doing that for? I thought, what could be so funny that they were laughing hysterically and rolling on the ground?!
"What on earth is so funny?! I asked them bitterly.
"It's just that..." Jeff said between snickers, "Well... April Fools!!" With this he burst out laughing again. This just happened to confuse me even more because it was June! "You're a little late, Jeff." I said angrily. Just then my buddy Steve took the kangaroo mask off. What the?? He joined in the laughter at the same time. All of the sudden everyone was laughing so hard that milk started coming out of their noses! I need to check the Evil Mongoose 12 step plan to take over the world, but I believe that milk coming out of everyone's noses is definately not on the list.

Trying to figure out what was going on, I wandered, totally lost in thought, my head was spinning! As I walked I started to sing an Irish drinking song, which went something like this ...

"won't ya be my girlfrind, Molly?
life with you could be quite jolly!
cloning simple sheep namd dolly,
come and be my bride by golly!"
But then the steam roller came and flattened the space time continuum again, hurling us all into the 7-11. I was completely shocked, mainly because it felt like I was getting sucked back into a really bad dream, which I thought was all an elaborate joke played by my buddy Jeff.

But then Jeff floated by in two pieces, top half and bottom half, both laughing maniacally; don't ask me how. Now I was convinced that those mushrooms down by the lake earlier couldn't have been good. "Did I eat any of those things?" I wondered aloud. Oddly enough, a strange voice answered back...