Her abrupt flight from Shujaa had the black lioness' head spinning. He had stirred up feelings inside of her that had swirled and bubbled over from deep within herself, and she did not blame the dark pelted lion for doing so. He had said things, given her ideas, and then her fear and doubts had taken over. So she ran with tears staining her dark pelt. She wasn't sure where her paws were taking her during her inward tailspin, but her heart had flown her to where she thought she might be able to find Thunzi. Now she stood panting with the cluster of boulders that Shujaa had called the 'meeting rocks' in sight. She had stopped to catch her breath and also to calm her mind and its racing thoughts and fears. She had to talk to Thunzi, or at the very least she needed to see him. Perhaps the sheer sight of the pale leopard would help to rein in her own thoughts of doubt. So her silver eyes scanned the area, looking for any sign of the pale leopard near the cluster of rocks that he so frequently stayed near.
Thunzi had been very busy that morning, implementing the changes in the pride that he had and Siyo had discussed the night before. They had civilians now, and the mercenary band would need to adapt if it was going to keep everyone safe. It was a strange thought, the leopard realized, as they had simply been fighting and making contracts for as long as the Tani'Ajiri had existed. Now what exactly were they doing? Playing at being an actual pride? No. No it wasn't that simple or shallow a reason. As Siyo'Jini had put it, they were making a home for themselves. And if this was to be their home, then it needed to be safe enough to raise a family. Safe enough to protect those that chose not to fight, but still wished to contribute and live amongst the mercs. His tail tapped against the side of the large boulder he laid upon, soaking up the early morning sun as he thought on such matters. There had to be more he could do. Creating the guard was a good first step in protecting their border, but what else could he do?
There! Her silver eyes locked on to the tip of a pale leopard's tail that tapped against the side of one of the rocks, and she knew that had to be Thunzi. Her heart soared at the sight of it! That is, until her head swirled and crashed her sudden joy with doubt and guilt. She wanted to run to him, to tell him of her decision, but then guilt crippled her and she could not command her paws to carry her forward. He had rescued her from a life devoid of any real connection or joy, and she wanted to repay him by quitting her mercenary work? How could she do that to him? What made her think she could do that to him? Shakily Moya had managed to take a little step forward, and then another, but each one felt like she was walking on thorns as her confidence left her. She had never done anything so difficult before, not since making the decision to run away from her old pride when Thunzi had offered to help her. She had to speak with him, she just had to, but every step was an internal battle of wills for the dark pelted lioness.
He wasn't sure when he was first aware of someone approaching him, but Thunzi slowly came to realize that he was no longer alone this morning. It was something on the air perhaps, a certain smell, and the sound of erratic breathing that drew his attention. Something wasn't right. Carefully the pale leopard shifted to peer over the edge of his rock, unsure of what he might find. He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but to say the least he was not prepared to see Moya in a state of distress, and fighting to slowly approach the boulder he perched on. His first thought was that some how she was injured, perhaps by an attack from an unknown enemy, and Thunzi was quick to leap from his rock to rush to her side. His silver eyes glared in the direction she had come from, claws unsheathed as he prepared for whatever danger might show itself. When none was readily apparent, the leopard took a closer look at the black pelted lioness, and was surprised to find that she didn't seem to have any obvious injuries. "What has happened?" Thunzi questioned quietly, silver eyes still scanning the area around them, watching for any signs of danger.
To say the least Moya was taken off guard by Thunzi's sudden appearance and charge towards her, looking like he was about to deal some serious damage to whatever was in his path. She had tensed, unsure if he had been coming at her or not, but when he seemed to be looking past her she relaxed. His voice and his question did, however, cause red-hot guilt to well up inside of her. Oh, no. "N-nothing happened," she was quick to respond, though her voice felt shaky in her throat. She hadn't meant to startle him into such a reaction and she shook her head at herself. She truly must have looked like a fool. "I just came to speak with you," she managed to say, but her voice was quiet and she felt small for doing so. "I'm sorry..." What more could she say? She had already botched what she had came here to do.
Thunzi listened to her words, but the sadness and the distress in her voice nearly broke him. He cared for Moya, he cared for her a great deal more than he had expected he did. He may have flirted with everyone he got the chance to do so with, but the silver eyed lioness had always held a special place in his heart. Ever since that day when he'd first seen her after doing a job for her old pride. She had been nothing more than a weapon to them, with no life to call her own, and he suspected she may have actually been something of a 'slave' to those lions. She had been so beautiful, but so broken and discarded, he couldn't have left her there to rot. Slowly his claws tucked themselves away as he calmed his nerves. Thunzi was normally a very level-headed leopard, with very little ever being able to rattle him. This though, her distress, it shook him more than he cared to admit. "What would you like to talk about?" he asked her just as quietly, his tense muscles relaxing as he brought himself to look at her. He wished he hadn't though. The sadness on her features were painfully evident for him to see. A deep frown formed on his maw. He did not like seeing her like this, and he hadn't the slightest idea of what might be causing such distress.
Hearing his voice soothed her in a way that she could not describe, nor would she ever care to put it to words. It seemed to wash away her uncertainty and her dread, but the guilt remained. She had indeed made a fool of herself. For Thunzi to react how he had, she must have looked like quite the sorry sight. "I didn't mean to alarm you," she offered sadly, quietly. This was so stupid. Why had she acted like that? She didn't want him to hate her. "I don't want to fight anymore..." What else could she say? Perhaps there were better words or ways to tell him, but she hadn't the energy to find them.
He allowed her words a moment to soak in, to digest them and to understand what she was talking about. Eventually Thunzi felt as though he had a better grasp of what she was asking, and perhaps what she might have been feeling. With how she had been raised, as a weapon and nothing more, he could imagine this might have been hard for her. Though he had no idea the extent of how or what she might have been feeling or thinking, and that worried him. "That's okay," Thunzi started, his silver eyes calmly locking onto hers. "You've fought long enough. If its something you don't want to do anymore, than we won't force you," he told her soothingly. Moya was a great mercenary, and she did her work well, but if she no longer wished to do it than Thunzi would not argue.
She was almost shocked at how easily and readily Thunzi had agreed with her. She wasn't sure what she had been expecting, but surely it would not be that easy! Was he not mad with her for wanting to quit? She furrowed her brows at him, attempting to drill past his calm silver eyes with her own to get to the heart of what he must have been thinking. When she saw nothing, not even a flicker of malice or anger, she sat back on her haunches in stunned silence. It really had been that easy. "You don't hate me?" she asked quietly, still unable to accept his agreeance so readily. "You went through a lot of trouble to rescue me, and I won't be of any use to you if I don't fight," she told him as well as herself. That's all she had ever done. Its all she had ever known. Though with the mercs it had been different. She was one of them, not just a monster for them unleash at their enemies.
Thunzi's ears twisted back at her words, a pain in his chest as she asked him that. "I could never hate you," he told her, suddenly feeling vulnerable out in the open on the training grounds. This was not the time or place for such a conversation, but he couldn't leave her broken and feeling down on herself. "You are so much more to us, to me, than someone who can fight. Moya, I want you to live your life and to do what makes you happy," he told her. She was slightly taller than him, but the leopard briefly leaned forward to press his forehead to hers before turning to walk towards the forested end of the territory, away from prying eyes or ears. "We can talk more if you like?" he offered, a small smile on his maw. He could see that she needed help, and he would speak with her for as long as she needed if it meant soothing whatever demons swirled in her mind. He would help her defeat them.
Moya leaned forward as he pressed his head to hers, and she longed to stay there with him. He helped to calm her feelings of guilt and self-hatred. When he pulled away she closed her eyes, afraid he was leaving her, but his voice drew her in and she nodded. "Yes," was her simple, quiet reply as she rose to follow him. She needed to talk, she wanted to talk, but only with Thunzi did she ever feel comfortable enough to do so.
((Word Count: 1,887))