[SRP] Safe and Sound (R'bin & Eridan)

[Princess_Feylin]

I wish they could all be like that, R'bin remarked to Huarangith as he removed the riding straps from the brown. He would give them a thorough going-over the next day to make sure nothing had worn through or been otherwise damaged, but right now he was tired, and so the extent of what he did with them was to sling the mess of straps and buckles over his shoulder to bring back to the weyr for later.

That would be good, Huarangith agreed, shifting so that his rider could lean against his side and catch his breath a bit. Just because this had been a relatively easy Fall didn't mean it hadn't been tiring. It just meant they hadn't found themselves in too much danger this time.

R'bin patted Huarangith's shoulder fondly and said, So...food?

The brown rumbled something that sounded suspiciously disapproving and R'bin looked up at him in surprise, his eyebrows raised.

I think we should check on Eri first. Or, you should. Huarangith tried not to sound hurt that Eridan seemed to be afraid of him, or at least was acting as though he was, but R'bin wasn't fooled.

R'bin winced. He'd completely forgotten about his nephew. You should come, too. You care about him as much as I do. Probably more.

Huarangith knew R'bin was feeling bad about forgetting Eri, but he could also sense that R'bin was already forgiving himself: they'd just come back from risking life and limb to protect the world, so of course his mind would be elsewhere. The dragon, on the other hand, had a harder time moving past his own concerns.

He won't want to see me, Huarangith said sadly. He still blames dragonkind as a whole for his mother leaving, and even though he likes me deep down, he doesn't want me around right now.

R'bin sighed and scrubbed at his face, cursing his sister not for the first time. She was always so responsible. How could she have just left her child in his care? Surely she knew R'bin was irresponsible and absolutely not to be trusted for raising a child! And Eri had definitely inherited his mother's stubbornness. This whole thing about not liking dragons was just one instance, but it was something R'bin was desperate to put a stop to. It hurt Huarangith, for one thing, and for another thing it was just plain stupid.

I'm sorry, he said. I'll try to talk to him again.

Huarangith rumbled at him affectionately. I think he'll come around in time. But right now I'm going to check on our wingmates.  

[Princess_Feylin]

Eri was in the creche, of course. It was where the Weyr put children whose parents didn't care enough about them to look after them personally. It made him so mad that his uncle thought he could just drop him off in the creche and go fight Thread as if there wasn't the very real possibility Eri could be orphaned by the end of Fall.

The thought made his eyes prickle with tears, and he made no effort to conceal them. When comfort and sympathy weren't immediately forthcoming from the creche workers, he began to sniffle loudly, and then to weep with exaggerated sobs. That brought one of the workers, but after she got him to tell her what the problem was, she pointed out that he had every right to be upset that his uncle was in danger, but then she departed, leaving him with a scrap of fabric to dab at his dripping nose.

A few minutes later a group of children around his own age were gathered by that same caretaker, Eri included, and they were made to sit in a circle and talk about how they felt when their family members had to go fight Thread. Somehow the only children in the circle were ones with dragonrider kin, though Eri was too young to be suspicious of the sample group. What he heard a lot of were words like Proud and Grateful, but a few children admitted to Scared and Worried. Eri was one of those, but he wasn't given the chance to explain his sorry circumstances until they'd gone around the circle again, with everyone this time explaining why they felt that way. By the time it worked its way back to Eri, he felt a little silly trying to claim that he was going to be an orphan if his uncle died, so he just cried some more until he was allowed to go lie down.

He was still lying down when his uncle R'bin came to the creche, dirty and sweaty and smelling of flame and reptiles. Eri hid his head under his arms and refused to uncurl from his weepy ball.  

[Princess_Feylin]

R'bin stood in the entryway to the creche, having been waylaid by one of the workers, who informed him that Eri was very upset about him flying Fall, and that perhaps he ought to work on building his nephew's confidence in him and his dragon. He also launched into a litany of remarks about Eri's general behavior and attitude that R'bin had heard before. He knew the creche worker meant well, but his repetition of concerns about how Eri was adapting to the Weyr and his mother's departure to High Reaches were just a bit much right after Fall.

"Thanks," R'bin said shortly. "I know you're doing your best. So am I. So, I assume, are we all."

The caretaker's expression said that he strongly suspected neither R'bin nor Eri was doing their best, but he was too busy to have that discussion right now. R'bin wasn't looking forward to that discussion. He was pretty sure the suggestion would come up once more that Eri speak to a mindhealer, which R'bin didn't object to, but when he'd floated the idea to his nephew the boy had been firmly opposed to it, though he'd refused to give a reason.

R'bin strode into the creche and met the gaze of a different caretaker, who pointed toward a lie-down cot where a familiar-looking, child-sized lump resided. R'bin walked over and sighed internally as Eri covered his head with his arms and curled up more tightly.

"Hey, Eri. I'm glad to see you," he said, not quite truthfully, as he crouched beside his tearful nephew. "Ready to go?"

Experience had taught him that if he waited for confirmation he would be crouching there all day long, so R'bin simply scooped up his nephew and slung him halfway over his shoulder like a partial sack of firestone. At least today the maneuver didn't result in more tears or wailing. That was a very small victory.  

[Princess_Feylin]

Eri remained curled into a ball for as long as he could, refusing to answer his uncle R'bin, but eventually the option was removed when his uncle scooped him up and began to carry him away. For a moment he almost thought it might be worth it to start crying again, but by the time he managed to work up some tears they were already away from the creche, and Eri could not quite bring himself to cause a scene in the corridors of the Weyr.

Instead of crying some more - honestly, he was beginning to feel pretty dried out anyway - Eri squirmed until his uncle put him down, and then dragged his feet so that R'bin would have to adopt an awkward, halting gait to walk at his pace. It was childish, but Eri was a child and he didn't see it as childish. He saw it as putting off returning to the weyr, where Huarangith would be settling in, being nice, and making it hard for Eri to remember why he didn't like dragons.

"I'm glad you didn't die," Eri admitted in a mumble. He might not have done so ordinarily, but the discussion in the creche had reminded him that R'bin was basically the only person in the whole world who cared about him, and he actually liked R'bin back, and he didn't want anything bad to happen to him.

In an even less comprehensible mumble, Eri asked, "Is Huarangith okay, too?"  

[Princess_Feylin]

Not for the first time R'bin wondered how his parents had the patience to raise two children. Of course, the answer was simple: they'd been very laissez-faire parents, largely uninterested in how their offspring spent their time, though always willing to take time to listen to their problems or remind them that they were loved. R'bin remembered enjoying all that freedom, and even feeling smug about it, compared with his friends' stricter parents. Somehow, though, he couldn't manage to find that same level of supportive distancing that had suited him so well.

I think it probably helped that you hadn't gone through anything like the same difficulties Eri has, Huarangith rumbled from the infirmary. Didn't you tell me there wasn't even Thread when you were a child?

Hm. That was a good point, R'bin had to concede. But surely the threat of Thread couldn't have had that much of an impact on Eri as a child. After all, he'd grown up with it. Maybe it was all Reya's fault. It would be nice to think that. She was always so concerned about being right in every situation. Maybe she just wasn't a very good mother.

That's unkind, Huarangith remonstrated. Like you told Deni, we are all doing the best we can. Reya included.

R'bin barely managed not to scowl at his dragon for being so reasonable. He had just risked his life and the life of his bond fighting Thread, and his nephew was behaving like a brat. Again. As usual. It was hard to maintain his usual equanimity. But smiled at Eri instead, a little cheered despite himself to learn that his nephew was glad he'd survived, and even asked after Huarangith's health.

"I'm glad, too, kid. Huarangith flew brilliantly, and both of us came out of it completely fine. Huarangith takes really good care of your old uncle, you know."  

[Princess_Feylin]

Eridan didn't particularly want to hear about how brilliant Huarangith had been. He was glad his uncle was safe, and Huarangith, too, he supposed, but that didn't change the fact that they had both gone off to fight Thread without a single thought for what would happen to him if they weren't fine afterward.

"That's good," he mumbled unenthusiastically. With considerably more alertness he asked, "Where is he now?"

He really hoped that the large brown wouldn't be waiting for them when they got back to the weyr. He knew better than to say that by now because it would make his uncle angry and he didn't want R'bin to be angry with him. He just wanted someone to put his needs first for once. It wasn't fair that everyone here cared more about dragons than people. Dragons were supposed to protect people, which meant that people should be more important than dragons.

He stuck the fingertips of his right hand between his lips and slowly dragged them down until just his thumb was in his mouth. He glanced up at his uncle to see if this would get a reaction from him, but R'bin had that look that meant he was talking to his dragon and not really paying attention to what was going on around him. Eri hated that look.

His mood improved somewhat, however, upon learning that the dragon was visiting his wingmates in the infirmary, and therefor would not be waiting for them in the weyr. R'bin's hope that he could guilt Eri into worrying about dragons by mentioning some of the others in his wing were hurt met with utter failure, as Eri didn't really give a toss about the others in R'bin's wing. He didn't even know them, really, except as people who sometimes came over to his uncle's weyr and then left pretty quickly.

The lightening of his mood was brief: R'bin's next words were an announcement that they would be going to the baths because they were both in need. Eri didn't like bathing around a whole lot of people like always seemed to happen at the Weyr, and he tried to talk his uncle out of it, but to no avail. It was bathtime.  

[Princess_Feylin]

Absolutely. Infuriating. R'bin literally bit his tongue to stop himself from bawling the child out for his terrible attitude. How could he not understand what he - and everyone on Pern - owed to the dragons and dragonriders in that infirmary? How could he be so indifferent? R'bin remembered Reya as a child; she had been nothing like this. Neither had he. And as far as R'bin knew, his own parents had nearly as much of a hand in raising Eri as Reya had. Maybe this was because of Joha. That snail's a**s was more than scummy enough to have produced such an insufferable brat.

Or maybe he's just an unhappy child, Huarangith posited. You're usually much more tolerant than this.

It's hard to tolerate someone who doesn't care about other people dying to keep him safe.

... Put that way, it was hard for Huarangith to come up with an argument, but R'bin was still left with the general impression that the dragon urged patience and forgiveness because Eri was young.

"Look," R'bin said to Eri, crouching down so that his face was level with his nephew's. He could see the child's eartips turning red with frustration and hoped it would lead to a tantrum right here in the corridors. "I have been fighting Thread for hours and I smell terrible. I am going to take a bath. You have three options: first, I can take you back to the creche; second, I can take you to the weyr and have Huarangith look after you; third, you can come with me. Which will it be?"

I really don't appreciate being used as a deterrent, Huarangith grumbled. Also, I'm in the middle of a conversation.

Oh, come on. You know he won't choose to be left with you. He's a whiny little wherryhen who wants everything his way. He'll choose to take a bath.  

[Princess_Feylin]

Eri narrowed his eyes at his uncle. He knew he was being manipulated, but he couldn't see a way out of it. For a moment he considered calling R'bin's bluff and saying he'd rather go back to the creche, or even have Huarangith look after him, but there was the horrible possibility that R'bin would call his bluff, and he'd end up with with an ignominious return to the creche or alone with the dragon. No, it was bath time.

The pair went to the bathing caverns, Eri doing his best to move at a glacial pace. It had been a while since he came to the Weyr with his mother, and the whole time he had struggled to adjust to how obsessed weyrfolk seemed to be with bathing. His mother had always been scrupulously clean, and his grandparents hadn't been filthy, but the exhaustive process of bathing at the Weyr was such a production. Eri hated baths.

"Can it be a business bath?" Eri asked as he and his uncle undressed and put their clothing onto stone benches. In his family a business bath was just what it sounded like: in, scrub, rinse, dry, done. They were no fun, but they were quick. After Fall, R'bin tended to take longer baths, but Eri wanted to be gone before too many other riders came in with their gross scars.

He'd mentioned how he felt about other riders' scars to R'bin once. It was the scariest he'd ever seen his uncle look. R'bin had turned crimson, then white and he had dropped down to Eri's level, taken him by the shoulders suddenly enough that Eri had yelped with surprise, and hissed that he was never to say anything like that again, that the riders had gotten those scars protecting Pern, including Eri himself, and that only a grubby, grasping tunnelsnake would be anything but grateful to those men and women. It hadn't changed how Eri felt about seeing those scarred bodies, but he'd never said anything about it again. He didn't want his uncle to abandon him, too.

At any rate, it was a relief when R'bin sighed and agreed that it could be a business bath. He leapt into the water, grabbed some sandsoap, and began to scrub vigorously up one arm and down the other, then across his chest. Good enough!  

[Princess_Feylin]

R'bin would have liked to take time to soak in the hot water and let his stiffening muscles loosen up, but it seemed that he would have to compromise with his nephew. Perhaps later, after he'd put Eri to bed, R'bin could visit his friend Csinda, who was always relaxing company - particularly since she could be relied on to have drinks available.

R'bin eased into the heated pool, rather than following his nephew's hurried example, and did a much more thorough job of scrubbing himself clean with the sandsoap. He was still working the suds through his curly hair when Eri flung himself out of the water once more and began to dry himself haphazardly. R'bin had not been watching to see how well the boy had cleaned himself, but he knew it had been too quick to be really effective. For now, he didn't much care. Eri had gotten wet with soap. Good enough.

The hot water felt good, but R'bin didn't dally. Once he'd finished getting all of the soapy grit from his hair he, too, toweled off and dressed once more, unfortunately in his dirty clothes from Fall. He should've stopped at the weyr to grab a change. Oh well. It wasn't as if it was an excessively long walk. On the walk back to the weyr he felt good enough to try engaging Eri in conversation.

"So you had a bad day today? What went wrong?" He wished he could remember how his own parents had talked with him when he was young and came home from lessons in a bad mood, but he genuinely couldn't, which was too bad, because he was certain they'd been great at it.  

[Princess_Feylin]

Eri was in a much better mood after his bath, even though he hadn't wanted to take it to begin with, and he could tell that R'bin was, too. With both of them in better moods, R'bin's conversational sally was a success, and Eri answered his uncle's question candidly.

"It wasn't bad to start, but when one of the older kids said their mum was going to be in the high flight because she's in Flame's Fury, I remembered that's where you'd be, too, and that it's the most dangerous flight." Unwillingly, Eri had absorbed basic Weyr knowledge. It was impossible not to, and remaining willfully ignorant just got him ridiculed.

"If you die, I'll be all alone," he pointed out with more than a hint of a wibble creeping into his voice. "My mum doesn't want me and my da's a bad man, and if I go back to Granna and Granfa he'll hurt them."

Some of these were things Eridan had been told, others he had figured out or made up for himself, but all of them were things he believed completely. Given his total belief in the facts as he had presented them, it was shocking to Eridan that nobody seemed as concerned about them as he was. His uncle had told him countless times that he would not be all alone, no matter what happened, but he had not elaborated on how things would turn out otherwise. This time was no different: R'bin assured Eri that he would never be left alone, that there would always be someone do care for him and love him, even if the worst should happen.

"Why doesn't my mum want me?" he asked as R'bin was changing from his riding gear into regular clothes. It was not the first time he had asked, but he kept asking in the hope his uncle would say something other than what he said which was, "Of course she wants you, but right now it's better that you stay with me."

This time, when R'bin gave his usual answer, instead of asking when it would be better that he stay with his mum, Eri simply nodded. "I love you, Uncle R'bin.  

[Princess_Feylin]

Every time Eridan asked about his mother, and why she had left him, and when he could go live with her again, R'bin's heart squeezed. He felt bad for the kid, even though he didn't always like him and hadn't ever intended to be a parental figure. Then he'd usually start to feel angry at Reya for the utter lack of consideration she'd shown regarding Eri. It was impossible to blame her for Impressing Raqisath, but Reya was always one for plans and she'd refused to come up with or agree to any plan involving resuming parenting Eri. Instead, she was behaving as if she was completely unattached, and it infuriated R'bin. It seemed to be the one thing he couldn't bring himself to forgive.

And tonight, after reassuring Eri for the hundredth time that he would not be left alone, no matter what, R'bin was prepared to give the answer he always gave about when Reya would send for him. He was ready to have to admit that he didn't know when that would change, but Eridan surprised him by telling him instead that he loved him. It wasn't something his nephew told him often, even though R'bin reminded him daily that he was loved, both by him and Huarangith.

"I love you, too, Eri. I always will. Me, and Huarangith, too."

He hugged his nephew tightly, blinked back a tear and checked in with Huarangith. The brown was finding food. That seemed like a good idea to R'bin, and when he suggested it, Eri agreed. The kid hadn't even made a face when R'bin mentioned his dragon, and for that R'bin decided he would get an extra portion of whatever passed for dessert that evening.