How was it possible to have the best day and the worst day, all at once?

She hadn't come to High Reaches to Impress; despite every assurance she'd received from human and dragon alike, there had been a part of her that had believed no dragon could ever want her.  She'd only wanted to prove, to herself and everyone else, that she could be a good candidate, that she really was: she could be trusted at a Touching, and get through a Hatching, and be the cause of not a single issue.  It had never entered her mind, not for one moment, that she would Impress, so of course she had never considered that if she did, she would be unable to leave High Reaches at all for a turn, that she would have no choice but to live here for five.  Here, where it was cold.  Where she had no family.  Where her green - her beautiful, wonderful, perfect green - was nothing special to anyone but her.  To make matter even worse, some idiot bronze had caused a political disaster, and who knew what the consequences would be?  Already nearly all the Westerners had gone, all but the badly injured and, of course Hestina and R'mor, to try to fix what one dragonrider pair's carelessness might have broken.

Knowing that R'mor was still here was almost worse than his having left with the rest.  Here, but out of reach.  She wanted terribly to at least go in search of Junenth, who was surely still here as well and perhaps not so busy with such Important Things.  Not knowing whether she would see him and His, or Zinath and A'ral, for a whole turn, even to say goodbye, was indescribably painful.  Bad enough to be trapped here, but without even a farewell?  It was cruel.

She wanted them to meet Samodith, wanted them to love her, wanted them all to be a family.  At this precise moment, a turn - five turns! - seemed impossible, and might as well have been forever.  The only consolation she had (aside from Samodith, of course), was that Rylyrr was here, but they were of course on separate sides of the Barracks, and under restrictions.  Nevermind that she wasn't foolish enough to stray into dangerous territory, others might see them cuddled up to each other and make assumptions...when all she really wanted was a hug.  Another human to cry against.  Or at the very least, to cry in private, away from the almost thirty other girls in the Barracks.  So she and Samodith, at the first opportunity, set out to find somewhere they could be alone.  And once they finally had, they huddled together, and she pressed against her beautiful green's so-soft hide, and cried.  Even with her own, most perfect dragon, she missed Junenth all the more, wanting to be tucked under his wing and feel safe.  Not...lost.

Lovely winked out from between with a peep, and burrowed herself into the sad cuddle, radiating all the cheer and concern a little flit could, for both her bonded and their new-dragon-friend.

"I want to go home," Akaris lamented, the words barely even a whisper.

Come now, dearest.  Would you rather have home than have me? The inquiry wasn't antagonistic or even offended, just a gentle prodding to encourage her to think.

No, of course not.  I just- I wish I could have you, and have home. I wish we were somewhere where everyone else would see how special you are, and we could be anything we want. Was that really so much to ask?  That, just this once, life actually be fair?  That others had lost more, and permanently, didn't keep her from feeling sorry for herself.  'It could be worse' was cold comfort - no comfort at all, in truth - and didn't do anything to make her feel any less lost or despairing.  Like Samodith was all she had.

She couldn't change her mind now - wouldn't, even if she could - but why did life have to be so hard?