[PRP] Love you, hate you. (Sia & Kadaj)

[[Eskimo]]

For once in her life (okay, maybe that was a slight exaggeration), things were going so well Sia couldn't even think of a single thing to complain about. She and Kadaj were in a great place in their relationship. She was getting to know more lions in the pride (and actually liked a couple of them). Tiah was going to be a mother (which would hopefully keep her out of her and Kadaj's business), and Kutu had been taking his duties very seriously lately and wasn't around nearly as much as before, so that was one less annoyance to deal with on a daily basis...

Sia sighed happily. She quickly fixed a fresh flower behind her ear, made sure her bracelets were on properly, felt her hair to make sure it was presentable, then rushed out of her den a little more quickly than she had intended. But she didn't care.

She was going to meet Kadaj!

Nearly humming a tune, the lioness walked with a noticeable pep in her step, head up and eyes forward, seeming to dare anyone to ogle her. She'd like to see them try. She knew one male who'd definitely have something to say about it if they did!

Struggling to keep a smile off of her maw, the lioness stopped at a group of rocks at the heart of the pride and waited for Kadaj to meet her. What would they do today? Maybe he would show her something new around the pride--someplace he liked? Tell her stories of his past? She loved listening to him...no, no, she was getting carried away. The lioness shook her head and suddenly found it easier to keep the smile from her face. She glared at a passerby as she waited.  

[Pandorus Sphinx]

Kadaj awoke with a certain sense of dread lingering over him like a dark cloud or bad omen he couldn't shake. His mood was already considerably fickle due to the news of his daughter's impending journey into motherhood. He was displeased with her choice to be with a weak outsider who would bring her little joy in life. She just couldn't see it yet - but he knew. Kadaj always knew.

The scowl on his face only seemed to worsen as he made his way out of his den, yawning widely to greet the day. Even though he and Sia considered themselves to be a couple they didn't share a sleeping space, Kadaj was a little afraid to suggest it to her to be completely honest, he knew she would get freaked over her personal space and bail. He could see it playing out before his eyes like it had happened before. Kadaj just knew her better than she liked to admit, but he respected the way she was. Flaws and all.

She was her own personal shade of surprise. He never knew what color Sia he would get when he ventured off to see her. Still though, he was happy enough with it being this way. He never felt the need to leave her.

He made his way to his better half as quickly as he could, Kadaj knew better than to keep her waiting. With a soft smile he spoke out as soon as her familiar shade of brown crossed his eyes.

"Hey you." He chimed, moving over to nuzzle his forehead against her own.

"You look nice today."  

[[Eskimo]]

Sia didn't have a chance to grow impatient (which would've been a disaster for Kadaj and anyone else in the immediate vicinity), for soon enough she saw her tall, dark and handsome boyfriend approaching. She smiled openly, heart fluttering in her chest. She didn't want to seem too excited, no, she had to be a little coy--just a little. In truth, she actually felt a little...shy today. She kept thinking about her hair. About the flower. Maybe she looked stupid. She never used to question herself, never used to care, not before meeting him....

She received Kadaj's nuzzle happily and gave him a quick one in return. When she backed up and heard his compliment, she paused for just a moment.

Nice?

She looked nice?

It was a distracted type of compliment. Sia knew Kadaj enough to know he had something on his mind. If he had something else on his mind aside from her on their date, that meant he was giving something or someone else his attention. And Sia did not like to share.

"Thank you," the lioness replied sweetly, giving a toss of her hair for effect. "You don't look so bad yourself." It was the truth. She had dozens of compliments buzzing in her head and heart that she could've peppered him with, but she sealed them up as usual. Especially since she was secretly leery of him at the moment. But she'd give him the benefit of a doubt...for now.

"So, where to?" Sia asked, sticking quite close to him.  

[Pandorus Sphinx]

Kadaj was oblivious.

He was always in a foggy place when it came to her moods. He had a hard time reading her and knew that Sia was much better at reading him. She could figure out how he was feeling way before he even knew what he was feeling, the red male felt a little guilty when he thought about it, why was she so complected and complex? For once he would like to know the right words to say to make her happy enough to relax, or at least settle her mind long enough for her to not blow up on him. Her intrusive thoughts felt like a curse sometimes - he just wanted her happy.

She was being a little clingy already, so something was up. He furrowed his brows as she glanced over at her, nudging her softly as he stopped his light trot.

"Is everything okay?" It wasn't like her to keep her mouth shut, but something felt off. Had he said something wrong? Was it about her hair? He really did like it, he was just super poor with words. Being a romantic didn't come naturally to him, but he wanted her to know that she did in fact look beautiful.

"I really do like your hair, you know? The flower is very you: I don't think any other lioness could compare to you." He tried not to imply that he looked at other females, he could already see the blood she would spill if she thought he was into anyone else. The lands would painted red. The sky would rain blood. His blood.

"Eh, you know what I mean..." He trailed off, looking forward again. Kadaj wished he knew how to tell her that she was beautiful.

The most beautiful creature he had ever seen.

Too bad all that came out was dumb words and poor phrasing.  

[[Eskimo]]

"Of course! Everything's fine," Sia reassured him at first, even if it was half a lie. But as the silence stretched on, Kadaj apparently felt the need to fill it with 'reassurances' of his own. Sometimes Kadaj was the sweetest lion she could picture in her mind (not that she could ever admit that). Sometimes he was the most poetic creature--not perfect, but poetic enough to move her heart, most especially because his words weren't perfect. But right now...

He was being so insistent on her hair--noticeably so. Was there something wrong with it? There was, wasn't there...UGH. Had she messed it up somehow? Was there something stuck in it? Did it fall flat in her blind spot? But wait--

The flower was very her...? And just what was she like? What did that even mean?! Sia couldn't help but show her mental struggle on her face, her lips tense and slightly curled, eyes already hot. But as if that wasn't enough, then came the thunder after the lightning.

All Sia honed in on were the words other lioness and compare. She tried to count to ten but stopped at four. That was an improvement in her book, however. She maintained...for now.

"Let's just go wherever it is you have in mind, hm?" she snipped, moving somewhat past him even though she didn't know where they were headed.  

[Pandorus Sphinx]

He wished she would talk to him. Sia had this way about her that was hard to explain, at least to the large red male, he was often left in confusion whenever she got into one of her moods. Kadaj wanted to help but knew more often than not he would end up eating own his words later, so he found himself tip toeing around his issues with her very carefully. It wasn't because she was crazy, Sia was just... intense sometimes.

As she moved past him he could feel the anxiety steam from her body, his pale eyes following her movements as she tried to pretend nothing was wrong. He wished he could say the right thing, but settled with-

"What's going on with you today?"

Oh well, he tried.

"You seem a little..." He was searching for the right word, poor Kadaj never really stood a chance when it came to a battle with words.

"Weird today?" The large lion was now standing still as she walked off a little past him, his expression a little annoyed himself. Why was it so hard to be honest with him? He felt a little betrayed in the moment, his own thoughts unable to reason with his logic.

"Are you not telling me something?"  

[[Eskimo]]

Snap.

Sia stopped in her tracks.

She reeled around to face Kadaj.

She was livid.

"Weird?" she repeated incredulously, volume rising. "Weird?! Well thank you, Kadaj, for finally being so black-and-white about how weird I am rather than just eluding to it for the entire day!" Ok, so she was exaggerating, but what is irrationality without exaggeration? And, as most of the pride knew, Sia was well-versed in the art of irrationality. Especially since pairing with Kadaj. Not that she always saw her reactions as senseless...

Sia's eyes scanned her boyfriend's face and she felt the fire build in her, felt it stoke, felt it burn in her blood and in her eyes, stinging them so that she clenched her teeth.

"And just what the hell is that supposed to mean?!" she nearly snarled at his last question. "What on earth could I not be telling you? OH," she exclaimed with a bitter grin, "that's right, I forgot to tell you all about how I compare you to other males all day. Wanna know how you measure up?" she sneered.  

[Pandorus Sphinx]

And here it was, the ugly side of Sia that Kadaj had a hard time loving, let alone understanding.

"Sia." He frowned as she started to wind herself up, her words and movement more erratic and short. This was her thing, her pattern. She wouldn't understand him or his intentions and she would take a dive off the deep end. It was destructive and burned. Was Sia even aware of what she did to him when she got this way?

"I didn't mean anything by it, it's not like that!?" He started to raise his own voice now, eyes widening as he stepped closer to her, the fur on the back of his neck bristling with anger that swelled within him now too. She couldn't keep getting away with treating him like this.

It was actually starting to piss him off - she was hiding something and he knew it. At some point this bridge was going to burn. Is that what she truly wanted?

"Are you kidding me? You are so jealous of things you honestly shouldn't be." She was taking a low blow to his pride with her last comment, he already felt... insecure about himself, his scars, size. Kadaj didn't exactly have a healthy relationship with his personal image and some part of her knew that when she said what she did.

"You can't help yourself can you? Does being a b***h just become second nature to you when you're like this?" Maybe that was a little... rough, but he was tried of this, she was going to keep taking shots until she left him. Abandoning him for the millionth time.

He wasn't going to let her go that easily.  

[[Eskimo]]

It was too late to rewind, far too late to turn back and rescind her comments, to apologize, to forget and move forward like nothing had happened for once. Part of her always wished that could happen. Part of her always wanted to freeze time mid argument and never say anything else--just freeze there so that they couldn't say anything to each other anymore, hurtful or not. Then in that silence she could stare at him, and if she could stare at him long enough, maybe she could understand him, even in some small way, maybe she could finally begin to understand how he--how he could--

Who was he to tell her who or what she should or shouldn't be jealous of?! He was the one who started it! Sia scoffed with a toss of her head. He was the one acting like she was someone to be compared! To mention her appearance, make her even more self-conscious than she already was, and then make her feel weird about it?! But it was his last comment that sealed the fate of the argument.

"Excuse me?!" Sia nearly shrieked. She was bristled from head to toe, perfect hair now tousled, flower crooked, bracelets tinkling as she gripped the earth with furious claws. "When I'm like this? And what's THIS, Kadaj?" She pushed herself closer to him, closing the gap in her fury. "Here's an idea: MAYBE I'M ALWAYS A b***h!!" she shouted into his face, eyes burning as if daring him to shout back, to strike her, to unleash hell. But as the last word left her lips, she could feel her maw itching to quiver. She pushed away and began to walk off.

"We're done," she called without looking back, staving off the crack that threatened her voice. She glared furiously at the horizon line as she stormed away, eyes damp and hot. She didn't care where she was going, she just wanted to go. She needed to get away from this, everything, everyone, him.

She needed to go away!  

[Pandorus Sphinx]

How could someone so beautiful be so ******** ugly?! He was seeing red. Sia was Kadaj's one weakness. Normally he could keep his temper in check... but she could set him off in a instant. If he was a match she was surly was his flame. The fire that the two lit when they came together like this always ended up being devastating, engulfing both of them in an instant.

The emotional burns could last for weeks.

His eyes, now a lovely shade of blood-shot red beamed at her as she snarled, his body moving back in reaction to hers. He gave her a snarl back, his teeth clutching together as she spoke, every word digging the dagger in deeper into his chest.

He did regret calling her that, but sometimes she just pushed him like this for the fun of it, it felt like a sport. He felt sick to his stomach. Kadaj had never lifted a paw to her in his anger, even when she basically dared him to every time she got this way. It was like she wanted another reason to paint him red and mark him as a villain in her internal story of just how awful and cruel he was to her.

He was so beyond over playing the part.

"No, Sia. You don't get to just walk away this time." He called out as she started her triumphant march of freedom. He was so desperately trying to save face under this extreme sadness he felt creeping up on him.

Was... that a tear?

"This time... I'm done with you." His last words to her before he too turned his back on her, heading in the opposite direction as quickly as he could. The red male had never once said those words to her. Every time they fell apart he was the one left sitting in the dust until she felt like returning, this time though...

He was done.