[PRP] Sunset, not rise. (Sia & Kadaj)

[[Eskimo]]

There was something dangerous about mixing sunset with boredom. The layered colors in the sky matched the earthy ladders of the cliffs and made Sia dizzy. The sun wasn't quite up, but wasn't quite down, and the lioness always found that she couldn't make up her own mind as to whether she should be up or down, either. It was frustrating. And when Sia was bored and frustrated, she was testy. But maybe she wasn't testy, maybe she just wanted to have fun? But maybe she didn't want to have fun, maybe she wanted to be entertained? But who was entertaining around here? The termites?! Everyone else was busy with far more important matters than her, even her boyf--

"Ugh!" Sia cried out as she flopped onto her side, a cloud of dust rising in her wake. She watched it settle slowly around her, squinting as specks touched her eyes and made them sting with tears. The sunset beamed its last glare on Sia's face, adding insult to injury. She squinted deeper.

Maybe she was...lonely...

With a defiant huff, the lioness rolled away from the pestering horizon and curled up.  

[Pandorus Sphinx]

Kadaj didn’t wait around for anyone, he had always been a lion that did what he wanted when he wanted. He never truly thought about anyone else but himself. At least, that was his life before he met her. Now he had a constant thorn in his side, a sickness he couldn’t mend. She might be actually have been his one true weakness, but he would never admit it. Never to her.

Never.

Today was a good day, Sia had wandered off and left him alone. Silence was a beautiful thing when she was without him, so he welcomed it. He sat up and smirked at the beating sun, the heat felt so rewarding against his red pelt. Simple pleasures like this made him feel relaxed and stress free. He had forgotten what it felt like to feel stress free, to be stress free. Sia was.... so stressful.

But he felt himself missing her, even though she was a tornado. He was... use to her chaos now.

“s**t....” He muttered and frowned. Where was she anyway?  

[[Eskimo]]

Sia slapped the dusty ground with her tail. Then she slapped it again. She got midway through a third slap when she let out a loud groan and rolled to her feet as though someone had picked her up with extreme force. Her eyes burned as she worked her jaw, glaring at the sunset, then behind her, then the sunset, then behind.

Creatures watched the sunset, that's what they did, they watched it because it was relaxing. So she was going to do that, she was going to watch the sunset. Alone. To relax. She was not going to look for a certain male lion whom she was definitely not thinking about. She was going to sit down--she did so--and watch the sunset.

...

Sia slid like a sidewinder to her feet and trotted away. Her head was held high with a certain grace, her eyes poised with boredom, perhaps already practicing for when--if she happened to see Kad--err, someone. Despite her air of nonchalance, the lioness's eyes were darting from place to place with critical scrutiny.  

[Pandorus Sphinx]

Kadaj could have slept under the heat all day, roasting his red pelt until he felt burnt. He enjoyed the heat, he almost lived for it. Maybe that was why he was able to put up with so much in his life, the literal heat and the figurative. His brow wrinkled as he frowned and lifted his head high. He smelt something familiar.

"Sia... Ugh, not now."

He rolled himself up to his paws and flexed his back and neck. He could have been preparing himself for battle with the way he was positioning himself, hell, may as well have been. She was near.

"Degenerate."

He spat as he awaited her arrival. She probably was looking for him, ready to attack him for something he hadn't even done or yell at him for 'maybes'. Yeah, they cared about one another, sure, even if she wouldn't admit it so easily. He knew the truth. That's why he stayed. At least she kept him on his toes.  

[[Eskimo]]

There was a kind of anticipation building in Sia's chest with every step she took, the longer she walked, the more rocks and cliffs and termite mounds her eyes fell upon. He was somewhere, she knew he would be. It was always like this--he would be busy with something, then he'd go off someplace by himself after without even telling her. It was a pattern and it happened again. Even though he had been too busy to speak to her before, he didn't even try to find her after to see what she had wanted!

Ok, so maybe she had told him she never wanted to speak to him again and that was probably why he hadn't sought her out, but still. He should've anyway.

Sia's stomach began to feel as hot as the dry earth beneath her pads, and she kicked a pebble as she walked out of sheer spite. Then she felt a funny kind of flip-flop on the inside and she frowned. Then she glared. Then she didn't look like anything at all. She climbed over an outcropping of rocks, and when she reached the top, she saw a familiar rusty coat and black mane some feet away, but it was his eyes that caught her--icy and hard, darkened by the cliffside shadows cast by the sunset. For a moment her expression betrayed her longing completely, but she quickly masked it. She held herself high.

"Where've you been?" she snipped down at him.  

[Pandorus Sphinx]

"I've been here."

He snapped back and stood up tall, his figure looming over her own as she moved in closer. Yeah, he was bigger but he sure as s**t was still afraid of her, she was so explosive when she got this way. He glared at her with pale eyes and spoke again, this time smirking down at her.

"Thought you told me not to bother you? Or follow you. Or talk to you."

She was so transparent. She wanted him to care but would make sure to tell him not to, or she would pretend she herself didn't want him around. If that was the case why did she always come looking for him like this? His eyes stayed glued to her as he awaited her answer.  

[[Eskimo]]

Sia's jaw dropped as if she had been profoundly affronted. What did he mean, he'd been there? What in a king's star kind of an answer was that?! Before she had time to spit out a reply, she heard his next stream of accusations and let out an incredulous, chastising sort of sound.

"I don't remember ever saying anything like that," she lied impatiently. Her eyes found the dimming horizon line suddenly quite interesting, and she looked to it rather than the towering shadow of Kadaj which had enveloped her completely. She took care not to swallow the lump in her throat, not to breathe his scent too deeply. But the realization that she was fighting both herself and Kadaj set her combative spirit aflame--she would not lose to both. She would not lose to either.

She snapped her burning eyes up to meet his and vehemently hissed, "You should try harder, you know. If I tell you I have something important to say, but you say you're busy, and you don't even try to talk to me after, and then I'm the one coming after you again, then what's the point?!"  

[Pandorus Sphinx]

"I didn't realize this was competition." He smirked and rolled his back eyes until they closed. He wasn't so thick that he couldn't see her cries for attention, he just didn't always know how to comfort her when she was... like this. To be honest, she was like this a lot actually. It was sort of the reason he enjoyed being around her so much. Sia could make a pale day bright with discord. Was it healthy? Maybe not completely, but he wouldn't change it for anything.

But he also wouldn't tell her that. He liked to tease her too after all. He stood up and smirked softly before speaking again, this time in a playful tone.

"I'll try harder." He wasn't going to fight her on it. Right or wrong he knew it would lead to a headache and today wasn't meant for tears. He flicked his tail from side to side and laughed, speaking to her mockingly.

"My daughter isn't a fan of yours, you know."

He liked to fan the flames sometimes.

Sometimes.  

[[Eskimo]]

He'd...try harder?

Really?

Sia blinked, clearly thrown for a loop. She'd expected Kadaj to fight back, or place blame on her, or taunt her, or mock her, or something, anything par for the course. She didn't expect him to--wait, unless he was being sarcastic...? She searched his face for signs of deception behind his smirk, determined to fight tooth and nail if she caught him making her out to be stupid, but her heart fluttered about at the sound of his laugh so that she lost track of what she was trying so hard to be mad about in the first place.

"Tch," Sia bristled, ears flattening as if to block out the mere mention of Kadaj's daughter. "It's not like I need a fan club. I'm used to it, anyway," she said, but looked briefly stunned that she had let those words leave her lips, and quickly added, "from her." She never liked to talk about her past. It, like her true name, was buried, and she wanted it to stay that way, hidden even from Kadaj. Even though she...well...liked him...pretty well. More than most...but she didn't want him to have any more excuses to dislike her. Even though she lost her temper on, err, rare occasions, they always worked it out. She knew they were good for each other. And if anyone wanted to get in the way of that, even Kadaj's own blood, Sia would not stand idly by.

"So, what did she...say about me?" Sia tested with a glance to the skyline, aiming for casual but landing halfway.  

[Pandorus Sphinx]

"Honestly? She thinks you don't care for me. Said something about you being awful to me." He spoke honestly with her. He wasn't afraid to hurt her feelings, if anything he was afraid of her reactions when it came to her maybe temper. He knew Tiah could be a handful on her own as it was, so he wanted to address this topic directly.

"She came to me with her issues about us. We talked. I may have been a little... hard on her." For him to say that he must have really meant it, he after all was a very large lion. For him to get 'harsh' with anyone was sort of intimidating, let alone his own child.

He had two children that still lived with him in the pride. A son and a daughter, and they they both had different mothers. Kadaj had never had a partner for very long. His first was a sorted affair that ended as fast as it started and resulted in cubs, and out of those cubs only one of them stayed with him. The other came from a relationship with a lioness who died in childbirth, resulting in his only son being born. He loved his children deeply. They were after all his legacy.

Sia was the longest relationship Kadaj had been in and they hadn't ever talked about cubs before, let alone been so openly emotionally intimate, but this didn't bother him. It came with time, somethings couldn't be rushed. He cared for Sia for more than just reproducing, though the thought did cross his mind from time to time. He figured if he ever did settle down... it would be with her.

Talking to Tiah helped him see that. He wanted to tell her that, apart of him wanted to let her know she was a permanent place to him but the words never left his throat. He felt a little ashamed.

"But we talked and she understands how things are between us now." He spoke with reassurance.  

[[Eskimo]]

"Not hard enough, knowing Tiah," Sia sniffed to the side, thinking of the strength that ran in Kadaj's line, both in personality and physique. Despite her words, Sia's expression had softened a bit. He had defended their relationship--defended her--against his daughter? It wasn't what she had expected to hear, though she wouldn't admit it. She swallowed, trying to seem haughty as if the ending of his family quarrel had been obvious. She didn't know how to say thank-you, but she did feel relieved. That meant that he...cared. But then, some kind of uncertainty moved inside her.

She knew that Kadaj was tied strongly to his children. The effort he put into keeping them in line was evidence of that. He had defended his relationship with Sia, but it had been for Tiah's sake as well. They wouldn't have butted heads unless they were close, Sia knew that. But she didn't know that kind of bond, that kind of love. She didn't understand it, had never experienced it, given it, or received it. Sometimes she felt envious of Tiah and Kutu, but for fleeting moments during her worst moods she despised them. She wanted to see that kind of love. She wanted Kadaj's love.

She wanted him all to herself...

But she never said so. She couldn't. She didn't know how to. It sounded selfish, anyhow. If it came out that she was selfish, then what? If he got fed up with her for all her bickering, fine, but she didn't want him to dislike her for something outside of her control...

'Don't be such a spoiled brat!' spat an ancient memory from a far-away place in her mind. She felt a chill as the sun dipped completely below the horizon.

Sia's eyes moved up to meet Kadaj's. The reassurance in his tone replaced the sudden cold in her chest with warmth. She struggled to keep her mask on. She stared searchingly, hesitantly.

"And how are things...between us now?" she asked quietly.  

[Pandorus Sphinx]

Kadaj felt a little shocked by her last question. Was she actually considered with the nature of their personal relationship? Huh. His eyes went wide with disable for a moment as he searched her face for signs of anger or rage. She seemed authentic in her question. He felt a smile creep across her maw as he nodded in response.

"We are perfect, Sia."

The answer was short yes, but the words held a lot of meaning behind them. He didn't fixate on drama, nor did he dismiss anything they had talked about in the days before, he truly felt at ease with her, chaos and all.

"Nothing is going to change that for me. You know that, right? You can try to get me to piss off, but it doesn't really work out now does it? I guess what I'm trying to say is I am here for as long as you'll have me. Er, want me. Something like that."

Kadaj wasn't much of a poet and he sure as hell couldn't emotionally express himself as well as others he knew, but for her he did try. Or would try. ********. He felt pretty silly now.  

[[Eskimo]]

Perfect.

Sia's chest swelled at the word. She felt like she was floating. Her gaze danced across Kadaj's face and she smiled back.

She did her best to suppress a laugh when she heard what strangely sounded like poetry--or a strained stab at it, anyway.

"Be careful what you wish for 'cause I might want you for a long time," Sia replied, feigning boredom despite her poorly-masked smile. At that, she stole a nuzzle into his neck and held herself close. Kadaj was so raw, so awkward...so easy to like. She sighed.

Wait, was that...the smell of another lioness...?

She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it quickly. Hm, well...she could bring it up later. For now, things were perfect. She smiled and closed her eyes.

Perfect.