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 Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2018 9:27 am
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It had been some time since she'd seen her brother. Not weeks, but at least days since she'd seen him, her fire lizards were getting larger and larger each day as she wondered what to say to him, what to do. It was embarrassment that kept her from looking for him and the fact that she'd spent the past week studying while trying to keep the angriest of the two lizards calm made her feel as though he would hate her from the bottom of his heart. Hopefully he hadn't been looking for her, for he knew where all of her hiding places were, so Etansi knew that her twin would have found her if he'd actually looked.
But he hadn't and it had saddened her deep down for some reason, in some place she couldn't find but could feel in her very bones.
Today she had to find him and to apologize at last, to introduce him to the two fire lizards that had hatched from the two stolen eggs she'd just taken from him, to apologize to his dragon. To apologize completely for being Pern's worst sister. For surely at this point she had to be given that she hadn't even looked for him or apologized for taking both of the eggs.
Etansi wouldn't change the fact that she had them though. Etan was wonderful in his own fury and over-protectiveness, he even hissed at people walking by her and was always draped over her shoulders. The paler of the two still had no name but he always was there to either silence his brother when he got too aggressive with random people or to send her flashes of love and pictures of pretty things. Pretty things she wished she could take, but that she never knew the location of, not to mention the fact that she had to ease up on stealing things for the time being and focus completely on studying to catch up to the rest of her fellow Candidates. There was so much for her to learn, so much that she didn't know and couldn't fathom about Pern that would require her to get caught up much faster than she had been until now.
It was actually interesting to learn too, things that she had never thought about such as trade and different continents. Of course she'd known that there was more to the world than just where the caravan had gone and the Weyr, but Etansi was still learning every point on the map. In fact there was a tied up scroll in her pocket that had the map scrawled out on it in the hopes of learning it slowly. Repetition was a good thing for her, it had helped when Ma Loa had repeated things and it had stuck in her head very quickly that way, there were still things that she could repeat that Ma had taught her.
Heaving a sigh she adjusted Etan's tail around her neck and wandered around the edge of the Weyr bowl in the hopes of sticking her head in the Weyrling's barracks and seeing Erastan. He and his blue had to be there, or else she would spend the rest of her free time looking for him if she had to, Etansi was on a mission. Luckily both of her lizards were calm for the moment and she hoped very strongly that she would be able to show her brother the pair of them without Etan scaring off Aspalath with his edgy fury. She sent a few calm thoughts in his direction to try and get that point across after he screeched at a passing rider and their large bronze, neither really gave her or the blue much more than a glance, but it was still unnecessary.
"You don't hiss at brother, right?" Etansi grumbled at him, receiving a flash of red and only red as a sassy response that made her roll her dark eyes. Pulling up just short of the entrance to the barracks, she took a deep breath and peeked her head around the edge of the door, eyes scanning the room for a flash of blue or a memorable face.
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Posted: Wed May 16, 2018 1:37 am
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Laughter on the air, laughter that she knew, drew Etansi from the empty barracks faster than her worry that someone would notice her could ever have and it had been about to. Running her fingers over Etan's side as she walked, trying to calm him so that he didn't begin hissing at the loud noises he clearly was hearing and reacting to, she wandered away into the Bowl and peered about once more. Her dark eyes lit on two forms in a patch of sunlight that made her heart stop with their actions, drawing her to a stop as she stood firmly in the shadows watching.
This was a part of her brother she hadn't seen in so long, a side of him she loved more than she would ever admit aloud and it made her simultaneously happy and heartbroken to see it play out in front of her. There was a very good chance that she would never see this side of him again personally, so she didn't want to break the moment even if she wanted more than anything to run up to him and play with them. That wasn't her role in their lives though, at least not in the lives of these two partners any longer and she settled into her inactive role in their lives easily in this moment, seeing this before her, the proof that she didn't need to be there. It wasn't like she could stand in that sunlight with him after all, she wasn't a creature made of light like these two were.
Even her grumpy fire lizard knew it as he shifted on her shoulder, his tail tightening around her throat in his reaction, but he stayed quiet because she'd asked him to, because he felt it coming off of her in waves. Turning to look around herself, worried that there might be others that could view this side of him when she knew that he was fairly secretive about his laughter and his gentle side, Etansi slid back into the only thing that she knew and that was the role of protector. Etan's eyes turned a gray color for a brief moment, clearly picking up on her feelings even as he glanced back at the two playing around behind them. Within moments, as if summoned, his pale brother appeared in the air before them both and announced himself with a flurry of images that rushed through her head.
"No.." She offered very quietly, narrowing her eyes at the tiny and lighter blue who still had no name to respond to. It seemed as though this answer wasn't exactly what he was looking for either, as instantly he was gone from in front of her. Eyebrows pulling together when Etan didn't react at all to the disappearance, Etansi twirled in place after making certain no one was looking and saw the little lizard reappear more than a few paces back from Erastan and Aspalath. He was chirping and singing with eyes that sparked purples and blues, but the steady flow of love and images depicting the darker dragon and her brother playing never stopped. It welled up inside of her and caused her to step back even further into the shadows, away from the two partners that played in the sunlight, away from the little blue fire lizard that embodied a side of her she wasn't forthright with, away from it all.
But she found herself unable to leave completely for some reason and part of it was that Etan was uncoiling himself to leap into the air, as if he was about to go over and snarl and hiss at her brother, at Aspalath who would get scared away instantly. Reaching out she grabbed the starry blue from the air with deft hands, one going around his muzzle so he couldn't yell, and the other around his body which she pulled back to hers in a flurry of angry flapping wings and thrashing tail. Claws dug into her for only a moment before the fire lizard realized what he was doing and he stopped struggling against her, knowing he could breath with how her small hand was positioned. The pair of them were still in the shadows as the lovely light blue continued his song and slowly turned the images towards Erastan, the love that he picked up in his bonded and the sadness. Though he was a baby he'd somehow learned what sadness looked like and he knew that it was the tears that wet his hide at night when he curled against his bonded human, knew that a name whispered in deep sleep could indicate.
With a gentle push he transferred his memories from those nights into Erastan, not letting his bonded know that he was doing it, and a sad creel pulled from him as he swung his head back and forth between Etansi and Erastan, trying to get the boy to notice, trying to get him to understand.
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Posted: Thu May 17, 2018 5:47 am
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Erastan and Aspalath might have been happy in their game but they both knew they were in a public space, they were both still alert to the outside world so when the pale blue flitt announced himself with his sweet sorrowful song they both froze. Looking up with wide eyes and tensed bodies like two deer disturbed in a glade. The difference was that they did not bolt after. Even if the temptation was there. Erastan moved smoothly into position to block Aspalath and protect him. The little blue dragon obediently ducked behind his rider.
His eyes found the pale blue flitt and he frowned, what did he want? He did not recognize the blue as belonging to any of his teachers or fellow weyrlings so that the creature was a messenger seemed unlikely at first, despite the fact that the pitiful beautiful 'singing' suggested he had something to say. Slowly Erastan got to his feet, his clothes, skin and even his hair were slick with patches of the dragon oil. Aspalath as usual attached himself to the side of his riders leg in a pose that allowed them both to get a good look at their guest.
When a sudden flash of images imprinted themselves behind his eyes Erastan staggered, at first thinking the assault of confused emotion and pictures came from his own beloved companion, but that impression only lasted half a second, he knew what Aspalath's touch felt like and it was much more natural and welcome than the current barrage. It took him a moment to even master it and get a hold on what he was being shown. Etansi! He stared at the little flitt. "What? I she hurt?" he demanded suddenly panicked, was she in danger.
No, not that she was just very sad. He felt his heart clench, she was crying again. And it was his fault. Again.
Once he had a better grasp on it all he held out his hand to the flitt to land on. "Okay, okay, I get it, stop it, you make my head hurt." he scolded the pale blue creature. "I'll go find her now." He promised, now he was focused, he knew she was nearby and it didn't take him long to spot movement in the shadows. He paused considering how best to approach the situation.
But after a moment he decided simple was best, striding across to her he said nothing but made an attempt to take her hand, sparing a glance for the second firelizard around her neck. "Come on." he told her simply. "You can help me wash." he was still covered in oil and dirt.
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Posted: Sun May 20, 2018 12:39 am
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Her eyes wide as she watched the interaction that the pale blue had with her brother, it took everything that Etansi had not to bolt when she saw how afraid they both were of him, of this part of her. While she disliked that he was so outgoing and friendly there was a part of her past all the armor that needed him, that wanted him to reach out for her, and what had just happened? Arms tightening around Etan she took a few steps back once more, even further away, two steps from running away from that reaction she saw them have. Of course they didn't recognize him and she wouldn't expect either her brother or his dragon to, but some part of her hurt and it felt raw to know that all of this, the tension and the pain was all her own fault. Why couldn't she be stronger than she was, why did she always feel as though she were about to break?
After talking to the little gold that had caused some of this she knew full well that she couldn't blame Khamaith, wouldn't blame her for the foolish way that she had acted as all of that had been her making a fool of herself. But watching her brother and his beloved dragon she felt a feeling surge through her at the way that the blue was clinging to him and her head dropped down so her chin rested against her fire lizard's back lightly, his wiggling freezing when it happened. No matter how feisty and volatile he could be, the dark blue lizard was attentive, as was in his nature so that he could realize what was happening to his bonded and his brother, Etan couldn't relax if he thought for one second that something might happen to either of them. Instantly he could pick up on the pain that she was feeling and sent her a flurry of images, not exactly calming and also not exactly angry, really it was the best that he could do since his brother was so far away and not focused on either of them. Twisting in her grip so that he could curl his tail about her neck and his body up to her head, Etan's eyes swirled a burning red color that he turned towards the two that he figured best had created this reaction, having never met either of them before this he hissed quietly towards the light blue fire lizard and took to getting ready to attack.
This was his human after all, even his brother didn't get to spend as much time with her as he did.
Still singing a little bit, startled into a squawk at the scolding for trying to get the other human to understand him, the human that his own bonded seemed to care deeply for, he let his eyes morph to orange and floated over carefully to the outstretched arm. Landing carefully, making certain not to sink his claws into the boy's skin as it didn't seem he knew what he was doing with fire lizards, even he could tell, the light blue's eyes turned back to sky blue as he looked down at the dark dragon by the boy's ankles, it was all but plastered to his skin so it was hard to miss him. While his brother had hissed at him he could tell that it wasn't in any violent way towards himself, so certainly the dragon wouldn't have to be as afraid as he was, but the lizard wasn't exactly old enough to understand and his brain didn't work quite like a human's. Instead all he could manage was a bright chirp as he felt himself move, not accustomed to sitting so shakily on an arm, and he moved slowly up to the boy's shoulder, not wanting to let go lest he decide to deviate from what his words had spoken to. No one was lying to him this day!
At least he was calmer than his angry brother who lashed out instantly when the boy held out a hand as if to grab her. Etan's eyes whiled angrily and his back arched as he hissed and spit at the boy who had tried to reach out towards his human. Etansi's eyes, having been almost as blank as her expression thanks to thought, blinked upon hearing the hissing and she latched onto her fire lizard once more before he could launch himself at Erastan. Heart beating heavily against her chest she held on against the thrashing and flicked her attention back and forth between her smaller lizard and her brother's face, not entirely certain what was happening in front of her.
"You... He never does that." Her head jerked to indicate she was talking about the lighter blue lizard who was trilling on Erastan's shoulder calmly, his blue eyes looking heavy as he tried to convince his larger clutch brother that the boy meant no harm to either of those he cared for. Etan did this all the time after all, lashing out at any that got close enough to her. "I said, no hissing at brother, no biting either Etan." her voice was quiet as she said it but it was full of force, as if she were angry.
It didn't exactly deter the thrashing that was happening in her arms though.
"Stop." Etansi tried once more, her voice even stronger as she sent a clear image to Etan of what she wanted and he quit thrashing with a suddenness, becoming nothing more than a ragdoll in her arms even if his eyes still burned with anger and all the colors of fire. "He might... scare your dragon. I wanted to see you fine, but.. should we leave?"
Even as she said it her stomach lurched as if she were going to be physically sick, she wanted nothing more than for him to not shove her away and tell her it was okay to stay, but it was up to him and his dragon. Etansi still missed him desperately but she would respect him turning her away if his dragon didn't want her near him, dragons came first after all, her most recent remedial lessons had hammered that into her head. She wasn't important, dragons were.
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Posted: Tue May 22, 2018 2:08 am
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Erastan wasn't exactly afraid of the world around him but he was ever cautious, his instincts were to mistrust something or someone until they could prove themselves and his standards were high which meant he usually kept most things and people at arms length. A habit which intensified and exacerbated with the arrival of Aspalath because at all costs he had to protect him. Even more so while he was still so small and vulnerable.
He had chosen him. Out of all the candidates on the sands he had impossibly chosen him. Joined with him willingly and whole heatedly. That was something no one else had ever done. Even his sister had been born along side him. As much as he loved her and would never change her for the world, neither of them had a say in the matter.
But Aspalath could have picked anyone so under any circumstances he could not let him down which explained why he had reacted to the flitt rather negatively at first. Yet once he clocked on to the fact that the small frail creature was part of his twin he quickly warmed to it. As it clambered onto his shoulder he gave it a tentative chin scratch.
For his part Aspalath emerged from Erastan's protective block once he felt his rider relax and peered curiously up at the small pale blue.
Even the sensitive baby dragon was not scared by something that was barley bigger than his head.
Of course the blue knew how important his twin was to Erastan and he would never seek to block contact or jealously guard his rider from her. Erastan let so few people close anyway that he could afford to be open with the one or two special people that he did invite into his inner circle. He rumbled warmly back at the flitt for both of them.
However when they got to Etansi and came face to face with Etan that was a different matter. Aspalath creeled in alarm and concern and Erastan put a hand down him in soft comfort. But he wasn't going to back down. Erastan's eyes narrowed he parted his lips and hissed right back at the dark blue. Etansi might by his human but she was Erastan's first! He would have to learn to share.
Aspalath, I'm sorry, this might hurt, we might get bitten. He warned never taking his eyes off Etan as he matched the furiously little blues growls with his own.
Aspalath shifted uncomfortably but he would do anything for his rider. "It's okay. Liat said we would have to get used to dealing with pain together and this seems worth it. But he's very angry" The dragon finnished the last words as he held himself close to Erastan and the young man pat him again.
Then with the same hand he had used to comfort the baby blue he reached out and took one of Etansi's away from the firelizard in her arms and held it tight. "Go on then, bite me." He growled at the flitt. "Like I am about to let my replacement scare me off." He snorted and glowered at the both of them, girl and firlizard. He had not missed that name. oh no.
"Aspalth is okay, he's a little bit older now, and you're a special case. He loves you too, cause I love you, and he can be very brave for those he loves."
Aspalath lifted his head a little higher with a soft call trying to be worthy of the praise.
A brave little blue.
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Posted: Wed May 23, 2018 4:46 am
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While he wasn't at all won over by the chin scratchings, the small light blue lizard churred happily all the same and adjusted on the bony shoulder he was sitting on so that he could look down at the larger dragon and cheep again. His eyes flicked back and forth between dark blue and purple depending on which one of them he was looking at but when his attention was drawn to his own older clutch sibling he simply let them turn orange. He wasn't generally irritated at Etan, but if he decided that he was going to be a problem he would have to do something about it. Tail curling about Erastan's neck, the little blue put his whole focus on his brother and sent images into the darker one's head rapidly, his eyes swirling orange and yellows as he got his back legs under himself in case.
Etansi and her dark blue fire lizard were a completely different story though, while the little pale one was comfortable neither of them were. She was a mess of emotions that were threatening to run down her face and Etan was simply angry and distressed as he was held tightly, none of the images that his brother were sending him were calming him down in the least but at least he was trying. Giving a hiss back in response to the boys, the darker fire lizard squirmed once more and suddenly found his head freed as his bonded's hand was pulled away from it. Burning eyes turned towards Erastan once more and he growled loudly at the boy holding her hand as if he deserved that honor, as if he could touch his human.
While he couldn't understand the words that the boy was saying he could completely understand what Etansi was telling him, over and over and over in a soft voice, in images that paralleled his brother's, to please stop. To please not. It went against his very nature not to though and in his anger he bunched and thrashed in her one arm that was trying to hold him tight still, claws sinking into her hand just hard enough to leave an indent but not a scratch or draw any blood. The pain was still there though and she tried to pull her other hand back but found her brother's strength too much to break, especially with the words he'd spoken of love, the words that seemed to take every ounce of fight she had from her.
When that loosened her grip Etan took it to his advantage and lunged towards Erastan with a squalling hiss but slammed against a smaller form with a heavy thump that sent them both Between. For his brother had been waiting on that moment, known that it was coming since they spent so much of their time together, and had planned on grabbing him just as he had to give his bonded the space she needed to talk and to relax in her brother's presence.
Suddenly without either fire lizard, suddenly without any sort of barrier between herself and her brother, Etansi's tears spilled out and she used her free hand to hide her face as the word 'sorry' came bubbling from her over and over unbidden. Without explaining exactly what she was apologizing for to either the boy or his dragon, the small girl repeated her apologies for crying, for running, for failing them, for stealing both the eggs that he'd gotten for them, for showing anything other than immediate love for Aspalath, but most importantly of all she apologized repeatedly with just 'sorry' for having not been enough to advance alongside him. In a way she'd left him, she couldn't protect him from the ground, and it had been her own failing that she hadn't gone on to Impress a dragon that day so she could do so. Every sorry she said was the same but each one of them meant something different as tears traced trails down her suddenly splotched red face. Neither Erastan nor his dragon should need to have been so brave because she should have been able to protect them, but no dragon had wanted her just as she had suspected.
Every 'sorry' she managed boiled down to 'I'm sorry you didn't get a better twin.' but she couldn't voice it and her voice became hoarser and raspier with each word she said. Slowly she tried to pull her hand away from Erastan so she could hide, so she could ball up or something to not be so embarrassing, for she knew that he hated tears, but he held her too tight and she couldn't escape from it. Etansi knew she didn't deserve their love but she wanted it and she felt even worse for her weakness, for being dramatic, but she couldn't help it.
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Posted: Fri May 25, 2018 12:48 pm
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Erastan tensed, bunching his shoulders ready for the force of teeth sinking into skin, ready for pain but it never came. Instead the sweet pale blue intervened, knocking his brother aside and between, away from the sibling pair. Erastan blinked not quite believing he had managed to escape the situation unscathed. The built up tension left him so suddenly he staggered against Aspalath when Etansi began to cry. He starred at her, also thrown off balance by the rare show tears.
If it was anyone else he wouldn't have known how to react, such shows of vulnerability were all too often tricks and falsehoods to lure him in. But this was his sister and he was the cause of her tears. knowing that broke his heart and almost brought the same tears stinging his eyes. Before he could give into them he yanked Etansi forward hard. Dragging her into the fall of the sunlight and out of the shadows, purposefully throwing her off balance so he could catch her against his skinny chest and wrap his arms around her tightly, burying his head into her hair laying against her slim neck. "Don't, don't." He muttered, he meant 'Don't feel sorry, don't feel bad. None of this is your fault' but words had always been hard. Aspalath, sensing the sorrow in her moved closer, seeking to comfort he rubbed up against the side of her leg, feline like as he sort to impart affection and reassurance to this person who meant so much to his person.
Erastan just held her, trembling with her until the heavy ragged sound of her sobbing and the 'sorry's' had subsided to more subdued sounds of grief and regret. At last he could get out some of what he had been thinking. He pushed her back so that he could look her in the eyes, wiping away the last of her tears with gentle hands.
"Etansi. Don't be sorry. I did this. I made you cry." His expression spasemed with the guilt he felt and his brow furrowed. "You are always so strong, cause I lean on you to much, so it's okay." He sucked in a breath trying to form the correct sentances, he couldn't recall when it had become so hard to talk to her, when things had become so complicated. "Bu..but don't run away again?" he asked, almost pleading.
"I..I need your help. I don't know if I can do this. Not on my own b..but that's the problem to, they won't let me be on my own. I..." He sighed and rubbed his palms aggressively into his eyes frustrated.
"So please don't be sad, and don't be sorry, cause. I need you like always and I'm not mad. I just want you close again."
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Posted: Sat May 26, 2018 3:00 am
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Despite the hand that she'd thrown up over her face, over her eyes and over her nose, Etansi couldn't stop her tears from flowing or the word that kept repeating from her over and over. Even as she was pulled into the warm sunlight, even as Erastan wrapped her in a hug, her chest heaved with the force of sucking air into her lungs to repeat the word and all she could do was wrap her arms around her twin until it eased up. It took time of course for all of it to pass as she cried out turns worth of regret and suppressed anxiety and pain into her brother's shoulder, soaking through the shirt he'd been wearing as she clung to his taller form with her thin arms in desperation. Minutes wore on until she was finally so worn out simply from crying that her breaths came in shuddering gasps that made her feel lightheaded as she leaned against him. While she couldn't find the breath to keep repeating her apologies she whimpered as he pushed her away slowly and wiped at her tear stained face and spoke.
"No... I need you. I-I've always.. needed you. Everyone left but you and it's all my fault." Her arms wrapped around her bony ribs tightly as she tried to look at him, to make him understand that this wasn't his responsibility. It was hers, she'd failed him in so many ways and was only finding new ones with each time. "If I were a better sister you wouldn't... need to feel this way. You impressed a dragon, a really brave and pretty one." Despite what she wanted from herself in that moment a single tear traced a path down her cheek once more when she mentioned Aspalath and she swallowed hard and loud against it. "You deserve a dragon, you need each other... but I need you both. I'm..."
Faltering on her next apology she peered down at the little dragon that had been brushing up against her legs since she'd begun crying and she offered him one brief smile, one real one that came so infrequently to her. "Th... thank you for choosing him back there. I'm so sorry I was.. you're a really good dragon, any one that chose Erastan is good." Etansi said slowly, even more haltingly than her normal speech from worry that the blue would never forgive her for her reaction to their Impression. But Erastan wasn't the only one that deserved an apology, Aspalath was his 'more of him' as he'd said before, but different and deserved her respect. How her twin knew the little dragon loved her she wasn't certain, but it didn't fill her with dread now that she'd bonded with the two fire lizards that had left in such a rush.
"I always wanted to protect you... save you from everything that was happening around us. You always save me though and I can't even...." Etansi reached up and pulled his hands from where he was rubbing at his eyes gently and pressed her forehead against one to keep him from doing it again. "You deserve such a better sister, one that could keep you safe. But I won't run... not again, please... please forgive me for stealing both..." With a pop the little light blue fire lizard reappeared above her right shoulder as if to finish her sentence for her, a singing trill coming from him as he twisted and went to land lightly on Aspalath's back. "Ugh.... for stealing them." Etansi used her hand to gently gesture at the little blue. "And for failing... and for not immediately loving your dragon. I want to protect you from everything... but I can't. I'll try though."
It felt so odd to think that she wouldn't be able to protect him, wouldn't be able to keep him safe when he was up there in the sky. Just that thought alone had kept her up at night, pulled tears from her and ripped her breath away as she saw him hurt hundreds of different ways with every passing night in new ways. What if he didn't know that she....
With a gasp she reached out and wrapped him into a fierce hug that almost hurt her own ribs from the contact. "I love you, I love you both so much." The words came out cracked with emotion. "Both of you, because you're both you. You're both my brothers. I'm so sorry Aspalath, will you please let me make it up to you somehow?" Tears ran down her face as she tilted her head to peer down at the dragon once more, not easing up on her tight hug she'd pulled Erastan into. "I don't want to lose you two because I'm weak and stupid. I've been studying, I'll get better."
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Posted: Thu May 31, 2018 12:50 am
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Erastan let his sister cry herself out on his shoulder. It was such a strange feeling as he had seen Etansi cry so few times during his life and not for a number of years not since Ma...He didn't want to think about that, just focusing on the hear and now as he held her, soothed her. But he still needed her strength as well.
Once they were parted enough to talk face to face he shook his head. Trying to dispel some of the notions of self blame that Etansi was spouting. "No, no." he told her firmly.
"You are my only sister, I would not choose or want any other. You kept us alive and kept us going. I could not ask any more of you. You saved my life more than once." He insisted, and it was try. "I would be beat to death or starved if not for you." Etansi's act of sweetness had spared them more than one whopping and her skills had helped keep them fed, whats more, if he had not had Etansi, Erastan was not sure he would have been able to hold onto his will to live. He might well have cured up and let himself starve after their first mother abandoned them.
Meanwhile Aspalath looked up at the girl with his eyes swirling purple with only the barest twinge of yellow indicating his sorrow and fear in reaction to her tears. He sent a tentative faltering touch out towards the girl but it pulsed with love, the same deep affection that her brother had for her, coming from a different source with the same quality. 'It's okay.' the young dragon assured her. 'I know I am not like my siblings, not as brave or strong, I understand why you would not want me matched with him but...I could not have chosen anyone but Erastan. He is my perfect match. And I knew that when I felt his protective feelings for you. I need that too. If not for the strength of those feelings I might not have been able to find him in all that big crowd and call him." He explained nuzzling softly at Etansi's hand.
You do not owe me anything sister of mine.
Erastan was only too happy to fall into another tight hug, he was a cuddlier when he got the chance and all too often Etansi only seemed to tolerate his hugs rather than actively engage in them, he enjoyed the closeness. "No, you were right. I had Aspalath. I needed to focus on him, not a firelizard."
Speaking of firlizards Aspalath had pulled his head away from the twins to peer at the pale blue on his back, he wasn't afraid of the tiny creature, even the nervous blue was above being intimidated by a creature that was barley bigger than his head, but he cooed back at it in greeting.
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Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2018 2:09 am
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It took a moment or two for her to adjust and gather in all the things that were coming at her, her brother's words, Aspalath's words. There was a time that she would have reacted instantly and shot them both down, told them gruffly that they were the best things ever and moved on, but that wasn't the way that she should approach anything that she was hearing. Maybe it was that Khamaith had taught her that, maybe it was that Astriana had taught her that, maybe it was the interactions that she'd had and needed in the time between when she'd last seen them. Both of her dark eyebrows pulled together slowly the more the two boys talked, the more they told her and informed her. Everything about it was correct in a way, but everything about it was also wrong.
Swallowing against the lump that had formed in her throat, the emotion that was rising in her chest as yet more tears leaked down her face unbidden, Etansi took a deep breath and pressed the palm of her hand into her brother's face almost playfully. "As if I'd let you choose another, I might not be your only family anymore but I'll always be your only sister." Gently she pressed her forehead up against the hand between their faces. "I'm always here for you, both of you. There was no chance I'd let anything happen to you in the past but you... you need each other." Pulling her hand down she pressed a kiss to Erastan's forehead and hugged him even tighter than before, her gentle brother, even thinking of him being starving or dead was not acceptable to her. Hanging on for a few moments, eyes closed with her face pressed against his shoulder, Etansi breathed against him to remind herself that he was here, that he hadn't left her as she was afraid that he did, would someday.
Slowly she pulled back from him and sat down on the ground before Aspalath so she could look him in the eyes, he deserved it.
"Little brother... no. Stop." Hesitatingly she reached out with both hands, a shake evident in them that was never there in the thief's hands normally. It wasn't that she was afraid of Aspalath, but she was hesitant to touch her brother's dragon because he might not enjoy it, might not accept it since she wasn't 'his'. Gently she placed both of her small hands on either side of his head and ran her fingers underneath his jaw lightly so that it didn't seem like she was holding his head in place as she was. "You are important, you chose Erastan... because you're part of him. You call him 'your perfect match', well you're his, yes? None of your siblings matter... you aren't them and Erastan loves you and that's all that matters." It was painful for her to remember thinking of him as too shy, as too scared to have been much of a dragon and maybe that was completely true for herself, had been completely true as he hadn't Impressed to her. For Erastan these were things that he needed, things that he should have.
Pulling her out of her thoughts was another trilling cheep that came from Aspalath's back, a response to the cooing but also an announcement as a dark fire lizard erupted in the spot beside Etansi's head and settled on her shoulders once again with a rumbly noise. Etan didn't hiss, didn't growl or dig in his claws, rather he coiled about her tightly and pressed his head against her neck so it hid him. The little light blue one cheeped sweetly and floated up to rest on Erastan's shoulder, nipping playfully at his ear as his tail snaked around the boy's neck.
"Etan calmed down... that one must have done something." Etansi said calmly, not moving from where she was but dropping her hands into her lap at least so Aspalath could move and try to run if the dark blue frightened him in any way. At least he was acting a bit better, but it worried her all the same so she reached up to run one hand over his tiny wings calmly. "That one has no name yet... but he's really nice. Etan's really protective, sorry."
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Posted: Thu Sep 06, 2018 2:02 pm
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Erastan tried to comfort his sister to the best of his meager abilities, he hugged her, rubbed his face against hers like an overly affectionate pet dog and tugged down his sleeve to wipe the tear stains from her cheeks. Unfortunately he had been rolling around in the dirt before she happened upon him and Aspalath so he only succeeded in smearing dirt over her face in long streaks. But the thought was there. He was also nodding his agreement to everything she said like a stupid bobble head toy. After all the uncertianity, the tears. The heartache, he was so happy she understood and willing to accept Aspalath, his new beating heart. His dragon.
Meanwhile Aspalath was calming with the help of his riders confidence and swell of relief, he pressed his side more firmly to his riders legs wanting to share in the moment, defeat his fears for the sake of family. Only his wings still maintained a soft and barely visible tremor. After all it was a big moment, his first real meeting with the most significant person in his riders life and nothing would completely eliminate his nerves.
Despite the fact that he had been the one to initiate touch he still flinched almost retreated when Etansi enclosed his head with gentle trembling hands. He had never been touched by anyone besides his rider since he had spilled out of his shell. But the young women before him was an extension of his rider, with that thought he put halt to his instincts of flight and let him caress his smooth hide.
"Aspalath says you are too kind." Erastan interceded, since in the moment of panic the dark blue dragnet had lost any further reach to his mental voice than his bonded rider. The boy's usual stern face split in an akward smile. "He likes you." He promised his sibling, just encase she took offence to the lack of direct contact.
As Etansi had suspected Etan's return was to much and Aspalath gratefully sunk back around the other side of his rider away from the angry flitt. Oh he didn't like that one, he was so angry. Erastan put one comforting hand on Aspalath as he sunk down onto the grass beside his sister. The dragon gratefully climbed into his lap and curled up against his chest where Erastan put a comforting arm around him. meanwhile his free hand tickled at the nameless light blue and he chewed on his sisters words. "hmmmm. Then you should call him Lolo. Ma told me that was her nickname when she was little. " He knew Ma was the only other person Etansi cared around and the angry little bugger already had his name.
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Posted: Tue Sep 11, 2018 8:03 am
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Streaks of dirt on her face was at least a complete normal to her, years spent living in dirt made it a lot easier for her to handle being covered in it, especially since it was through a motion made by her brother that was intended to wipe away the tears that were still threatening to stream down her face. Her brother, he most important brother, was split and now there were two of him and it felt... odd. She didn't know how to handle having two parts of Erastan, but she would take it like there was another brother in her life, for there was and he was just as important as her twin. It made sense too, that her brother Impressed a blue and she bonded with two blue fire lizards. The color blue was in their life, for good it seemed and she was rather happy that it expressed both of their inner souls, though she knew that a fire lizard wasn't quite as deep an expression as a dragon. Just about anyone could bond with them, but that they had both been blue...
Etansi avoided pressing a kiss to the end of Aspalath's nose as she'd done with Khamaith not so long ago, when the gold had accepted her friendship and wrapped her in safety to try and encourage her to be more than she was. This little blue was scared of her, probably scared of everyone that wasn't Erastan, and she would be slow and careful with him. She wanted to learn to be close to him, wanted to let him know that she cared about him and loved him as much as her little broken self could, for Etansi didn't feel so very worthy of any sort of love in repayment at all. Sometimes like she didn't even deserve the friendship that she'd managed to make in this time. But if Aspalath was her twin's outer soul then he was her twin too... triplet? This was too complicated. Her eyes blinked a bit and tilted her head up to her brother just as she kicked backwards and put her hands in her lap. "He... likes... me?" She didn't deserve him to like her, but she wanted him to and her heart started to beat quickly just thinking about it.
As a result Etan chirped and nipped at her shoulder, concerned but not willing to move as his brother was right there and ready to try and bite and kick at him once more if he so chose to act up. The little light blue might not have been violent but he wasn't willing to let his darker brother be mean to another blue dragon, especially one that meant so very much to their bonded and her brother. In response to that chirp that the dark fire lizard gave his brother made another cheep and nestled down even more comfortably onto Erastan's shoulder, blue eyes of kindness looking right down at Aspalath as if radiating peace and comfort. Upon hearing the name Etansi perked up and the light blue... Lolo... gave a singing vocalization that signified he'd received his name and loved it, before sticking his whole nose in Erastan's ear and snuffling.
"He likes his name, he says thank you. Lolo..." Etansi let a smile spread over her face and leaned heavily into Erastan, shifting Etan over to her other shoulder so he couldn't n** at her brother or Aspalath. "I love you.... brothers." Her voice was still cracked and raw but she felt far more solid saying it.
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Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2018 2:42 am
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Erastan instantly creased up and tensed as Lolo stuck his damp nose in his ear. An automatic reaction to the stimulus. "Ack, Lolo, stop." he demeaned with a helpless sputtering of laughter. "That tickles." At the same time Aspalath had experienced a tremor of the dreaded tickling feeling and let out a baby bulge of dragon sound in echo to his riders mirth before giving his skinny frame a quick shake to rid it off the lingering feeling.
Erastan meanwhile reached up, gentle but firm to push the flitts nose away. That was enough of that, excuse you. He was trying to be the firm, steady big brother and comforter here!
Personally he had not completely warmed to the small blue flying creatures just yet. Lolo was calm but clearly intelligent and quite ready and willing to manipulate the current situation to his liking, that could be dangerous, but he saw his sister in that behavior as well. And Etan...well...his dislike of that little blue menace came from an obvious place. Never the less, they both seemed determined to protect Etansi and that won them points.
A lot of points.
Once Erastan had managed to regain his composure he turned to his twin again, curling his arm tight around her skinny frame while he cuddled against her quite happily. He had to make the most of the contact while he was allowed to have it after all. Usually Etansi could only stand a limited amount of cling. "Of course he likes you...but I'm not really sure he could hate you. we are two different people but....we sort of share emotions, especially strong ones. I can recognize what emotions are his and what emotions are mine and fight against it if I wanted to but most of the time it's like you have a mirror inside so our feelings end up reflected anyway. It happens physically as well, like, Aspalath felt Lolo tickling me. More so cause it was sudden and unexpected so he wasn't guarded against it. We feel each others pain as well. Liat says that is something we have to learn to control cause if we get hurt we still have to stay calm and deal with it."
He hugged Etansi a little closer at that, the thought of the future thread battles and what might come to hurt both him and his dragon was a terrifying thought.
Aspalath meanwhile had been gathering himself, steeling his fears for what he was about to do next. slowly, carefully as the conversation progressed above his head he crept forward. Shuffling himself onto Etansi's lap he lay his knobled head across her leg and stretched out so he was covering both of them. His people. He was still trembling a little, afraid Etan might try and bite him for his daring but he wanted to prove his riders words.
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