[PRP] Soft Friends [Zelaya/Sylfie]

[Meepfur]

"I- I guess I'm not, not really, I just... There are a lot of people here, and all these new things, and I'm not as good at them as I should be. I'm just...going to disappoint everyone." The pat on her arm was reassuring; Zelaya's presence in general was, a bit. Having someone with any similarity to her at all to talk to was an enormous relief.

"I'm not the...the best person to learn from," Sylfie admitted, looking down and away for a moment. "I'm still c-catching up, on all the things I'm supposed to know. Ista was...was okay, but there was a lot we didn't- didn't need to know then." And she wished, so very badly, that they never had needed to know. That they could have just stayed in Nerat forever.

ShinosBee

 

[ShinosBee]

She listened to Sylfie's worries, brows slowly furrowing. To think that a rider could be made to feel so inadequate...it felt wrong. Every rider was a hero to Pern, and had a part to play. Even if Sylfie was a greenrider, she was still really important and should be treated with respect! "You're not," She suddenly interjected, cutting into the other girl's barrage of self-attacks. "If it takes you a little longer, it's fine. You're still trying, and that's what counts. You're here, and you and Hesperith are fighting. That's more than a lot of riders are doing, you know." Her hand on Sylfie's arm firmed, holding onto her gently as if she could just give her a tug into position to make her see herself in a better light.

"And that's exactly why you would be the perfect person to learn from." Everything about her expression was genuine. She really meant every word she was saying. "It's fresher for you, more recent. And since you came from somewhere else, you know the sorts of struggles that come for those of, of us who...who weren't born to this life." Like her. "And I bet you ask questions that no one from here would think to ask." Of course, a moment later she realized she was effectively criticizing the Weyrling Master's teaching style if it was enough to make poor Sylfie feel inadequate. She resisted the urge to glance frantically around to make sure she'd not been overheard...she really was sure the Weyr's lessons were entirely adequate.

...But that didn't change the fact that learning to be a rider from someone who was almost just like herself, fresh and green from elsewhere, might be nice.

Meepfur

 

[Meepfur]

"I guess that's something," Sylfie said after a long pause for consideration and for worrying at her lip. "There's just...I feel so silly, stuck in all these remedial lessons, and someone with a baby dragon is so far ahead of me. And she's- she's what she's supposed to be." Weyrling or no, Alumet was every bit the picture of a goldrider - she had the look, the personality, everything, and in comparison, Sylfie was...not even worth comparing. They might as well not even be in the same room.

The young woman flushed to receive the heaps of encouragement Zelaya was giving her, doubting not that they were sincere, but that she deserved them at all. This was the first she'd felt she had someone to talk to about all this with such honesty, and now that she'd started, it had all come bubbling up, and she was wallowing. "Every question I ask sounds ridiculous," she murmurred. "Half the time I don't even want to ask. But...but I guess maybe I'll have answers, if...if you need them."

ShinosBee

 

[ShinosBee]

Now, you know, Zelaya could very well understand how hard it was to take your own advice, and to feel worth reviving the praise of others. No matter how many times she told Sylfie that she seemed very nice and would surely get there, and that if she hadn't been just right her dragon wouldn't have picked her...it would still come down to the woman to decide it for herself. Zelaya knew enough to know that she struggled with the same thing about herself. It felt, some days, like she was an impostor, come to steal some other, more worthy person's place as candidate and child of...

"It's still better to ask than to not know." Surely the rest of the Weyr's golds wanted Sylfie and Hes to be in top shape, well trained to fly beside them. An untrained rider could be dangerous, and though she knew Sylfie would never intentionally endanger anyone, it could happen. "But Alumet was born here, wasn't she?" She insisted quietly. "You weren't. And that's fine. You're teammates...not rivals." Her brows furrowed just slightly. "Besides. I'm sure there's a lot you know that she doesn't. You're exactly what you're supposed to be too."

"You're a good person, and a good rider. And a good friend."

Meepfur

 

[Meepfur]

"I know it's not a competition, I just..." Sylfie struggled to put it into words, the glaring lack that she saw in herself, the judgements her anxious mind was sure were made about her, and all the missteps she was certain to make. Ultimately, she opted not to try, and let the sentence hang unfinished. At Zelaya's assertion that she probably knew things Alumet didn't, she breathed out a soft huff of a laugh. "Maybe so. She doesn't l-look like someone who's ever spent any time on a farm."

"I haven't- I haven't been anyone's friend in...in a long time." Hers had all gone away to Western, one by one, while she'd lingered in Nerat, avoiding making a decision, trying to avoid the inevitable. Had she made the right choice? Hesperith was happy here, but she...she didn't know if she would ever be. She hoped, but...

ShinosBee