Hello Ladies. My name is Emily, otherwise known as Chemism.
Today is the day I will change my life. I have decided to step up, and make decisions for myself. I have been in a rut for the past 3-4 years and it is time for me to change. F*CK my anxiety, my insecurities, my fears, f*ck everything about my old life. I'm making this thread to keep me motivated, and to keep track of my goals. I sit here today, with a cup of coffee in my hand, and the desire to succeed in my heart. I deserve better than the sh*tty retail job I have now. I deserve better than living paycheck to paycheck. I DO deserve to have fun, make friends, learn to dance (because HOLY SH*T I was always too afraid to! Why was I so afraid of what people thought of me?! LIKE IT MATTERS!) and live life to the fullest without being so scared.
I'm here to inspire me, and to inspire you. If you don't like your life, you can change it. It's scary at first, but nothing will change if you keep doing the same things over and over. "If you want to live a life you've never lived, you have to do things you've never done"
Keeping tack of my goals as such:
1. Quitting my shitty a** job (Kinda need money now though)
2. Going back to school (IN PROGRESS)
3. Finding an awesome new job (I WILL NO LONGER BE MISERABLE)
4. Travel to another country for the first time EVER
5. I don't even know bruh
Only good vibes here people, good vibes! mrgreen
⇣⇣ UPDATES ⇣⇣
8/10/15:
I've finally started to do the things I've always wanted. This year I'm finally going to comic con for the first time ever (I bought the tickets) AND I applied to take my GED/TASC test next month(YAAAS GURL). The only downfall is my best friend(male) seems to be avoiding me. It hurts my heart so much, because he's the most positive person I know, and something seems to have happened between us following an overnight trip to an amusement park. Maybe there were too many feelings involved? He knows I'm in a relationship. Basically we went out to an amusement park and hung out, then followed it up with a night at a hotel (OMG I KNOW THIS SOUNDS SO BAD BUT LIKE, HE'S LIKE MY BROTHER. :V) but honestly there was just a bunch of wine, laughs and youtube videos. I'm not the kind of person to cheat on my boyfriend, or sleep with my friends. After that he's kind of been avoiding me. Maybe he wanted something to happen? He knows I don't like him like that, and I've been with my boyfriend for 4+ years. It just feels weird because he used to motivate me so much, and now he isn't there at all for me when I've been needing it most. I'm seriously missing my best friend, and maybe a little bit more than I should. Is this a sign of something? I feel so confused.
9/17/15:
Yesterday was day one of my TASC(GED) exam! Today is my last and final day. I'm pretty sure I did horribly in math, but aced pretty much everything else. I'm so excited to get my results, but I'll have to wait 6-8 weeks. Honestly I didn't even think my request to take the test was accepted but I got the acceptance letter just a week ago. Now to move on to what was mentioned above. My (ex?) best friend and I still haven't spoken, and I actually feel fine with it now. If he doesn't want to be my friend that's fine. I'm still an amazing person without him, and the only person I need to motivate me is myself. Honestly it's been me doing it all this time anyway. I'm not sure if this thread is helping anyone out there, but if anyone is reading this just remember you have to work hard to get the things you want. You have to do things you've never done. It's scary, so scary, but they'll take you where you want/need/deserve to be. Remember to love yourself too.
10/28/15:
This is just a small update. After completing my TASC exam I went back to work for awhile. I wanted to update this because today I was contacted by an old manager of mine who wants to interview me for a management position at a Moleskin store. Said position will be making 40k a year plus commissions, AND benefits. THAT. IS. AMAZING. Right now at my current job I make roughly 18-19k a year and I have no benefits at all. I KNOW I can do this. I'm SO excited for tomorrow. I will put my best food forward. Tomorrow will be the biggest day of my life yet. Please, people of Gaia with me luck! I'll need all of it.
10/29/15:
Oh. My. God. Today my sister came home with a handful of mail and something was in there for me. A long, rectangular envelope. Guess what was inside? My GED Diploma. I AM SO HAPPY! SO MANY AMAZING THINGS HAVE BEEN HAPPENING TO ME THIS WEEK. I've been trying sooooo hard to stay happy because a LOT of bad things have been happening lately but I know because I stood positive that these things have been happening. So I didn't get the management position for the new job, but I am going to be interviewed as a full time employee which I can't wait for because it's still a lot easier than my current job and the pay is also better. I'm so happy. I feel great!
