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He tried to avoid looking at Sypher as he self-harmed. Avoid making eye contact. Avoid sticking his nose in farther where it didn't belong. Where he didn't belong. Voices of the past echoed very faintly in his head, remnant tatters of people telling him he was too nosey, weirdly involved with his patients, of ghosts of the past telling him he was only a genin and didn't belong in their affairs. Sev's jaw set hard as Aika worked on calming her partner down. While the Raigyo had never clawed his nails into his scalp, he had hurt himself in other ways. Kagerou would potentially argue that he still hurt himself.
He took an uneasy, shaky breath and let out a soft chuckle. Clearly he had missed the mark of what he was trying to say. Perhaps it was just more so that he didn't understand as well as he wanted to believe he did. With the amnesia came the freedom of not needing to live up to his previous standard, at least not to the degree Sypher was dealing with. Severin's glacier eyes cast themselves down at the floor, his fingers still idly playing with each other in his lap. There was pressure of knowing that Kagerou likely expected and missed the older him, but he had breaks. Moments where he could escape that and just be who he was now, without any peer pressure to be different. Be whole.
He wanted to offer the same to Sypher, but would it even feel genuine coming from a stranger? Was this another moment when he was getting too familiar too fast? "Yeah, maybe we should have... Severin replied, adjusting so that he could rest his head on one of his knees. His eyes still hadn't moved from the floor, even though the trigger was gone. Even though Aika had been a good girl and did her job.
"I wish I could say I sympathize with the pressure... The only blessing of my amnesia is I remember nothing of my former self. And the only two people who remember anything about me have been, thankfully, understanding of my current situation. Kagerou is... Kagerou. And with Inka, he seems... indifferent." Was that the right word? Indifferent? At first the Mizukage had seemed almost irritated with him, but none of that sentiment remained. And now, whenever his past came up, there was very little in terms of reaction on Inka's part when it didn't involve whatever wrong Inka had committed in their collective past.
Was it wrong that he envied Sypher? Despite the trauma, despite the struggle, the Senju didn't realize how incredibly lucky he was. How every moment, every memory, no matter how painful was a priceless gem within itself. Important building blocks to the soul. Sharp and hurtful, perhaps, but gems all the same.
He took an uneasy, shaky breath and let out a soft chuckle. Clearly he had missed the mark of what he was trying to say. Perhaps it was just more so that he didn't understand as well as he wanted to believe he did. With the amnesia came the freedom of not needing to live up to his previous standard, at least not to the degree Sypher was dealing with. Severin's glacier eyes cast themselves down at the floor, his fingers still idly playing with each other in his lap. There was pressure of knowing that Kagerou likely expected and missed the older him, but he had breaks. Moments where he could escape that and just be who he was now, without any peer pressure to be different. Be whole.
He wanted to offer the same to Sypher, but would it even feel genuine coming from a stranger? Was this another moment when he was getting too familiar too fast? "Yeah, maybe we should have... Severin replied, adjusting so that he could rest his head on one of his knees. His eyes still hadn't moved from the floor, even though the trigger was gone. Even though Aika had been a good girl and did her job.
"I wish I could say I sympathize with the pressure... The only blessing of my amnesia is I remember nothing of my former self. And the only two people who remember anything about me have been, thankfully, understanding of my current situation. Kagerou is... Kagerou. And with Inka, he seems... indifferent." Was that the right word? Indifferent? At first the Mizukage had seemed almost irritated with him, but none of that sentiment remained. And now, whenever his past came up, there was very little in terms of reaction on Inka's part when it didn't involve whatever wrong Inka had committed in their collective past.
Was it wrong that he envied Sypher? Despite the trauma, despite the struggle, the Senju didn't realize how incredibly lucky he was. How every moment, every memory, no matter how painful was a priceless gem within itself. Important building blocks to the soul. Sharp and hurtful, perhaps, but gems all the same.
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「 C K R A : :x000 // 000 」 tab 「 S T M : :x000 // 000 」 tab 「 A C : :x000 」 tab 「 両 : :x0000 」
tab 「 S E E : : Academic place 」 tab 「 H E A R : : Hono, Sypher 」 tab 「 F E E L : : Exhausted, drained 」 tab 「 S T A T U S : : Healthy 」
「 C K R A : :x000 // 000 」 tab 「 S T M : :x000 // 000 」 tab 「 A C : :x000 」 tab 「 両 : :x0000 」
tab 「 S E E : : Academic place 」 tab 「 H E A R : : Hono, Sypher 」 tab 「 F E E L : : Exhausted, drained 」 tab 「 S T A T U S : : Healthy 」
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BlackFruity
astrasinthewild
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