a stupid problem that becomes complex.

[wildblackfire]

.....waffles  

[Taylor_169]

Well, I know your pain. I just got over the whole thing from when I was 12-15. It's a different situation for me, since I'm the little brother of your family, but at the same time, I'm you. Essentially, while I participate in some illicit activities, I'm the strong smart one of the family that kind of glues it together. Sanity doesn't exist if you ask me.
Anyways, enough with the empathizing.
I've realized that it's a lost cause to hold yourself accountable for them, because you can't change people. The best thing you can do is to live your life the best you can regardless of who is or isn't involved, because, since you can't change them, the best thing you can do is show them what you'd like for them to change into.
With the breakdown, the loss of feeling... There has to be something in your childhood driving this. It was only an event that triggered the repressed memories to be, subconsciously, returned to your working memory, causing those feelings. It's not going to go away, only remain dormant until triggered again. You have to be at peace with your past before you will ever be close to at peace with yourself or anyone around you.  

[Third Chaos Saint]

haha arn't we all the same... ...  

[wildblackfire]

Taylor_169

Well, I know your pain. I just got over the whole thing from when I was 12-15. It's a different situation for me, since I'm the little brother of your family, but at the same time, I'm you. Essentially, while I participate in some illicit activities, I'm the strong smart one of the family that kind of glues it together. Sanity doesn't exist if you ask me.
Anyways, enough with the empathizing.
I've realized that it's a lost cause to hold yourself accountable for them, because you can't change people. The best thing you can do is to live your life the best you can regardless of who is or isn't involved, because, since you can't change them, the best thing you can do is show them what you'd like for them to change into.
With the breakdown, the loss of feeling... There has to be something in your childhood driving this. It was only an event that triggered the repressed memories to be, subconsciously, returned to your working memory, causing those feelings. It's not going to go away, only remain dormant until triggered again. You have to be at peace with your past before you will ever be close to at peace with yourself or anyone around you.

How am I supposed to make peace with something I can't remember? it was my entire childhood that was tramatic not just a single event. and your wrong. I have seen results for my efforts. It's true that you can't force someone to change. But you can encourage them and inspire then too. my little bros been doing better now. he just needed someone to talk to without being judgmental. A way he can vent positively. My bros and mom are slowly moving out of their depression. They just needed to someone to inspire them to change. they admire a strong will to fight. So I give them an example to strive towards. But lately I've just been lashing out with no real reason why. I'm hurting my own work. they don't see the frustrations source so they assume I'm simply not the person they thought I was. I scream hurtful things to them in my sleep but don't remember it. but they do. sweatdrop  

[wildblackfire]

Third Chaos Saint

haha arn't we all the same... ...

no every person is unique. the most ironic part in all this? I don't agree that suicide is the answer. I just don't see any way out.. time doesn't heal all wounds like people claim.. sweatdrop  

[wildblackfire]

I'm guessing I'm not going to be getting any real advise on this am I? serves me right for posting on a unused forum... sweatdrop  

[wildblackfire]

I was wrong. I can see that now.