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 Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 3:44 pm
I've had a friend since third grade, but now he wants to be my boyfriend. I like him, but not as much as he likes me. I'm willing to date him, but I really like my other bestfriend who is trying to get me to say yes to my other friend. Should I say yes or break his heart for a guy that might not even like me the same way?! Help please!!!!!! burning_eyes gonk cry
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Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 3:58 pm
I just kinda got done with the same thing. If you don't like him, don't say yes cuz if you do, it'll just be that much harder if you break up with him. If he's a true friend, he'll still be your friend if you say no.
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Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 4:03 pm
thanks, but I kinda do like him. He's so sweet. but my other friend I like too......
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Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 3:04 am
Aright, Imma give it to you straight:
Go out with him. The other guy that you don't know his feelings, don't waste your
time waiting for him to come to you because there is a high chance he wont and
you would be wasting your time waiting when there are millions of other guys that
like you, like your friend, and you should have a good time.
Second, with a friend everyone is worried that if you break up with them your
friendship will be over but there is nothing to worry about. I once dated a good
friend of mine and when we broke up we handled it respectfully and after we didn't
act weird around each other and I think we may be closer friends than we were
before, so don't worry about anything.
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Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 11:19 pm
I agree with s-w-i-f-t's advice. About the friendship thing...
But Don't ever be afraid to explore... and don't ever be afraid to ask...
Ask them how they feel, and try and be cool about it. You know, just tell them "Hey can we talk? It's kinda important." It may make things akward but it could as well be worth it in the end.
It takes gutts to do stuff like that, and hopefully if you do this, they'll realize the courage you gave and they'll give you some respect about it.
Then balance out the factors.
Say for an example...
Boy1: He likes me, and I like him. I like his attitude, He likes mine, Blah blah blah
Boy2 biggrin oesn't really feel the same way, He does this I like, He does this I don't like, blah blah blah.
Go for whichever option you see is best, and will have a good outcome in the end.
You also have to be aware of whatever consequences that may lie ahead, and check and see if it's worth what is good that may come out of the relationship.
Relationships are really hard. Especially when they're with best friends...
But if anything I know, best friends often last longer then lovers, so knock on wood, if anything goes wrong with the lover, he may not be a lover anymore, but he'd still always be your best friend.
I wish you luck on your problem here.
Lol, I know I just kinda rambled on. n.n;
And I apologize if my advice was rather confusing then helpful.
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Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 10:32 am
I say give the poor guy a chanse. My best relationship of 3 years started as dating a friend. It turns out i opend my mind and my hart and found a great relationship where i didn't expected to find.
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Posted: Fri Apr 25, 2008 9:31 am
think it over. you've been "bestfriends" since elementary, as you say. you have to consider what will become of the friendship if it doesn't work. it'd sound nice if you guys could break it off peacefully, but we all know that sometimes doesn't happen. do what you feel is right, as long as you're mature enough to deal w/ the consequences or outcome. also, don't lie to all of yourselves..like, don't use people or make a decision based on merely pleasing them coz you're too scared to say no. in my opinion, find out about your other friend's feelings towards you, you know, the one you like more. then, let the other guy know that you don't like him so much as he does. then judge the situation from their actions and your feelings. as for me, i'm actually dating my bestfriend from highschool =D. there were a lot of awkward..AWKWARD..and painful times, but we carried through at the end
^~
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Posted: Fri May 23, 2008 9:40 am
my advice is think it over. I had the same problem when i was in high school and we broke up in a month. the problem was a year after that I realized my mistake and been trying to get back with him since then but he remembers the heartbreak and i dont think he'll ever give me another chance. I feel pretty dumb for my mistake and just have to say follow your heart or your friendship could be really hurt along with your heart.
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Posted: Fri May 23, 2008 11:54 am
s-w-i-f-t PYRAMiDS Aright, Imma give it to you straight:
Second, with a friend everyone is worried that if you break up with them your
friendship will be over but there is nothing to worry about. I once dated a good
friend of mine and when we broke up we handled it respectfully and after we didn't
act weird around each other and I think we may be closer friends than we were
before, so don't worry about anything. Unfortunately it does not always end like that. I had the same and she began to feel awkward within my presence for knowing it and we just drifted further and further away.
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Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 6:31 pm
I've been in a similar situation myself. It was kind of a bit different though, as my best male friend and I both liked each other. We dated for five months, and then circumstances came between us (that's an advice thread in itself), but because we were friends first, and agreed to see it that way, we're still really good friends. I won't tell you that it's not a little awkward, but we were acting really awkwardly around each other for about 12 months before hand, so it was an improvement really.
Still, you say that you don't really like this guy. If he's your friend, he'll understand that. What's the point of being in a relationship with someone who you don't want to be in a relationship with? You don't even need to tell him that you like your other friend, you can just say to him that you don't feel that way about him at present. As long as the next day you don't go chasing your other friend, I'm sure he'll understand. Relationships come and go, but good friends are worth keeping.
If you're just not sure yet, time is your friend. Tell him that you're not sure/ not ready to make a choice. If he is your friend, it's not like he'll disappear out of your life tomorrow, and you can make a choice when you're ready to do so.
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