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 Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 3:08 pm
Resorting to violence is never the answer but if you do remember guys cant hit girls.
talk to a counciler or something maybe they can get you away from him
have another project complain to the teacher why you dont want to work with him (if you have good reasons they might work)
ignore him , screw him , file a restrainging order
talk to him privately and try to talk some sense into him.
if all else fails i have failed you
(im not good at this sort of thing but i guess i can recommend you something)
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Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 3:38 pm
ok so this situation that you are in iz like something i read in my bookz. and i seriously feel sorry 4 you.... here iz a quote for ya
if you can't get someone out of your head thatz because they're suppose 2 be there.
but he haz no right 2 treat you that way and if your friend iz gonna take hiz side and not trust you... then she izn't a good friend at all. just take time and letitgo. letitgo, 1 word not 3. say it with me letitgo. you'll get over him and if you can't try and work it out with him. just be friendz and nothing else. az 4 your friend try and work thingz out with her too. but if they can't accept you then just 4get them.
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Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 11:31 am
in my opinion:
you're best friends a douche bag and you're lucky to have figured it out now then in the future. friends who act like that arent worth it.
i would recommend dating someone else to get back at him but i did that and i told the guy i didnt like him and we were just going to make my ex jealous and he was ok with it! and then he has to go and friggen get all emotional and start liking me -.- anyways....
just ignore both of them, get a new best friend you can actually trust. and ask all ur teachers to move ur seat as far away from ur ex as u can. if u tell the teachers it will help u focus better they cant deny u. especially if hes making u get bad grades. and if they dont take it up with the principle, its always fun to watch teachers get in trouble for not doing their job x]
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Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 10:15 pm
I read somewhere along to the 5th reply before getting lazy. So if I repeat anything I am so very sorry.
Okay I totally sympathize with you seeing I have faced to something similar but moving onto your issue.
Get a retraining order for him if he continues hassling you. It may sound silly but if he continues to harass you like this it can't be any good to your mental health. Poor dear. If I could I would cuddle you to make you feel better but its not happening.
You don't need a best friend like her. She can't even be considered your best friend. Even if she does love your ex-boyfriend she shouldn't be doing this to you and she shouldn't side with anyone. Honey she doesn't deserve you.
Also, move on from that dipshit, he also doesn't deserve someone like you. For as far as I can tell you are a very nice girl to be able to sustain for this long. Last time I dealt with an a*****e like this I stabbed him with a pencil and he got the message I was serious if he ever bugged me again I would hurt him, no matter the consequences. Show your ex your serious about him leaving you alone. If you need any more help or just wanna talk about it you can pm me, instant message me on aim: PokeyoutoDeath and my yahoo is CrazyxChipmunk@yahoo.com
Feel free to talk to me or rant. [;
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Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 3:16 am
This guy is a control freak, and you should tell your school that you dated and report what happened. He tried to rape you, that is assault. it might not seem that serious to you, but it really is, he needs to be reported to the police or at least your school. I know he didn't actually do it to you, but imagine if you just let it go, and he gets another girlfriend by being 'charming' (as most control freaks learn to be) and actually does something to her. These sort of boys end up growing up to be abusive partners/husbands/fathers... unless something is done about it now to stop him. I say this because I have been in an abusive marriage, which I finally escaped. I came from a father who did the same thing to my family, so it is incredibly hard to escape nce it has gotten hold of you, so I applaud you for leaving! Please keep your strength when dealing with him, if you show him you cannot be controlled he will eventually lose energy, but not before becoming dangerous.
Are you still stuck in the same classes? Try explainig to your school what the situation is, and maybe you can have your timetable shifted around? It may mean you have to change a few subjects, but seriously, thinking about it, I wouldn't put it past a control freak ex to actually od this on purpose, my ex husband used to follow me to the same places to be there at the same time as me. I never had my life to myself it was a way of keeping tabs on me to make sure I wasn't doing anything 'unacceptable'
"Next, he started dating my best friend. Appearently she had a crush on him, but didn't tell me." Jeeze, then she really isnt much of a friend if she did this. but he used your best friend to get to you, which shows both that he doesnt care who he hurts, and that he will go to extremes to get to you, which is scary (tell your parents exactly what he is doing, im not kidding, you need protection, no matter how alarmist you may think i am being...)
Interms of getting your friend to believe you, show her the notes and tell her that he is doing all these things to you, and let her know for certain that you are scared for her and you do not want him back. She probably wont believe you, but at least you know you tried. He will likely hurt her.
Basically everything you are saying points to a control freak, and if he is really obsessed he will go to any length to control you. Control freaks see who they control as belongings, and they will do anything to get back the belongings that leave them, they get more and more dangerous
"After a while, even through all the crap, I realized I still like him. It sucked!" Dont go there, there are men out there who can and will treat you better! You are just mourning the loss of a friendship and a relationship. In time you will get over it, and I suggest you get out there and find one of these 'real' men to treat you how you deserve. I also think your ex friend may be being manipulated by him too. He will likely be doing it in a nice way for now, saying stuff like 'honey, if you loved me you'd do it' and using passive pressure, but if she ever resists, he will become to her like he was to you. He'd be playing on her emotions, using the fact that she thinks you are jealous of her to manipulate her into hating you. It may seem silly that he still wants to control you even afterhe has a new girl to control, but let me tell you, that these men do not like to lose and they do not give up easily.
I don't suggest you 'get someone else' to make him jealous, but if you find some one and move on, this is your best defense against him. Just move on, have fun and most of all forget he exists, he will try everything to make you see him and pay attention (possibly taking extremes) and that is why he is having fun with your friend... he makes her feel great (for now) and it makes him feel good that he has taen your best friend away from you (he enjoys hurting you) you can confront your friend and tell her that you know he is just using her to manipulate you... and let her know that if he was so 'happy' with her, why does it seem that he is not over you? Why does he seem to dwell on his relationship with you? And why isnt she enough to make him happy again? Why does he even need to bother thinking about you? Maybe she wont listen but really I think she is a victim here, too. These things sound incredibly hurtful, but if she is prepared to choose a boy who hurt you over you, then she was never a great friend to begin with. You are lucky to be shot ofthe both of them, and I wouldnt waste your breath on either of them.
You sound like a wonderful, strong girl who demands much more respect than this silly boy can give you, so I suggest if you are wanting a boyfriend, find one who treats you with that respect!
As to how to get him off your mind, you seem like you want things to go back to how they were 'before' you started dating him... and you are halfway there... you may think you want him back, but that is really only a desire to have some peace, maybe you think that things would be nicer if you take him back, that he will stop hurting you... i can guarantee you that if you go back, he will see you as nothing more than a belonging, and he will have less respect for you than he ever did, because he will see you as fickle and a pushover.
Be strong, find a nice boy, get a lovely little crush on him and maybe even ask him out... and in future, if any boy makes ou feel anything like he is now, if they ever try to make you do anything you dont want... run a mile, because everyone deserves better than that, including you!
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Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 12:49 pm
Okay, here's what I say, and this might not be what you wanna do, but I suggest it: figure out why he became a control freak. If you've ever met his parents, then talk to them. And just like the other people said, don't get a bf. You're not ready yet; you have to wait until this whole thing is over and done with. Another thing, talk to a trusted adult about this-one of your parents, a councilor, anybody. You need to get this over with. Otherwise, you are going to regret it. And I completely agree with mitsuneko, report the assault. A lot of women just let that sort of thing pass and the guy does it to another woman. Your ex-friend did do unforgivable things, but if he does the same thing he almost did to you to her, could you live with that? I've never gone through a relationship before, so I wouldn't know how you feel. But you have to stop him before he tries to do it again.
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Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 2:41 pm
I'm going to tell you what I would do. Although I dont advise doing what I'm going to tell you.... uuunnleeesss you really want to but hey I would lower myself to his level because I am like that (not all the time but sometimes) I would do the exact same thing he is doing. And everytime he kissed her in front of you I would go 'EWWWW GROSS GET A ROOM!' and act very childish... because I can be sometimes (not all the time) But just because its funny to be childish. It sucks that you lost your best friend and boyfriend and I can say that I've lost my best friend a few times but if she really is your friend she will come around eventually
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Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 2:44 pm
Zatenai Resorting to violence is never the answer but if you do remember guys cant hit girls. talk to a counciler or something maybe they can get you away from him have another project complain to the teacher why you dont want to work with him (if you have good reasons they might work) ignore him , screw him , file a restrainging order talk to him privately and try to talk some sense into him. if all else fails i have failed you (im not good at this sort of thing but i guess i can recommend you something) I am VERY violent and so as you would probably guess it is EVERY way to handle things!!! i'm just kidding Im making an a** of myself because I can lol.... but yeah I am really violent though just go read my introduction on the main forum.... Lol.... To the creator of the thread:: but yeah I'm sorry like I said that you lost your best friend and like I said again I have lost mine and am in the process of losing her again.... long story it sucks and it feels like the worlds going to end for my life
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Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 9:51 pm
Simple answer for ya... leave them both to do what ever they want and you go your own way. They both want for you to be hurt and annoyed by what they are doing. Be strong and SHOW THEM that you are better than the both of them. I know it's hard not to be annoyed but try not to let them see that it hurts you. That's letting them succeed. Realize what you are worth and move on. Get a new best friend because she wasn't your friend to begin with if she does that to you. You'll see, if you show them that you don't care what they do then they'll stop. Good luck hon, stay strong, you'll get thru it! 3nodding
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Posted: Sat Jun 07, 2008 1:24 pm
I think you need to let a teacher, counselor, principal, or any adult know what's going on. If everything you seem to do doesn't work, then maybe getting an adult in the picture might solve things.
Get some proof that he's doing these things to you if still nobody seems to believe you. That will have to make people realize that he's bullying you and has been lying. That should work.
I hope my advice helped. =)
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