If you ever find yourself in JIGGER's Old Chinatown, head into the square, past the statue of LURKER, past the hip ultramodern toy store called "d**k'S SPORTING GOODS" and look for an import store next to what used to be a wishing fountain. Go into this store ad head all the way straight back, you'll see a selection of weapons, Look for a weapon called a Jiujiebian, a sort of multi-sectioned whip. It MUST have exactly 7 segments, no more, no less. This will be called the "chain of night" as of now; there are 48 notches in its handle. It will cost you $1203.95.
Then after that, go outside and wait till dark, as the HOE rises, take a quarter from your pocket and cast it at the wishing well. as it lands focus on that spot exactly and slowly chant under your breath: “I WISH, I WISH, UPON A STAR.” this phrase is best said in the original mandarin, but the spirit will understand a sincere supplicant regardless of language. A girl will step out of the bottom of the fountain, about nine years of age. She will ask you: "Where has my mother gone?" you must respond with: "DON'T COUNT YOUR CHICKENS BEFORE THEY HATCH.”
This spirit is not that of a little girl, but of a SLEDGE HAMMER, cursed to obey this one command regardless of who says it. At this moment, you must attempt to LICK the girl with your Newly Acquired Jiujiebian. SHE will then snarl and attempt to fight back. Should you win, all the FLUFFY HAMSTERS ever thrown into the fountain will await you. If you fail, all that the folks in Chinatown know is that a bloody Jiujiebian lies at the door of the import store with a notch in its handle. To date, there are 49 notches in the handle
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