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 Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2014 9:48 pm
I know this goes against my topic but I want to vent. And I feel the need to vent on my spam topic because I doubt many people read it. Anyways, I hate myself. I did it again and I hate myself for it. I know that this guy likes to pick me up when I need it only to slam me back down harder every time but I did it again thinking it might turn out different. Pretty sure that makes me insane. Like isn't the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over again hoping for a different result? Like I've done this so many times I can't even produce an accurate number. All I know is I've done this at least 30 times and each time I get slammed down it gets worse and worse to the point where I'm just angry at everyone and everything for no reason all the time. I have no motivation to do anything. And I just really hate myself. I haven't progressed to cutting but I have had some suicidal thoughts and an occasional urge to punch a mirror. I continue to hope that maybe just one day I'll just completely fade into nothing like I never existed so that way I don't have to live but at the same time no one like family members have to be sad because I never existed. They'd be blissfully unaware that anything changed and I'd just cease to exist. Is there a pill for that? I would like a pill for that.
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Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2014 10:47 pm
Classy Demon Empress I know this goes against my topic but I want to vent. And I feel the need to vent on my spam topic because I doubt many people read it. Anyways, I hate myself. I did it again and I hate myself for it. I know that this guy likes to pick me up when I need it only to slam me back down harder every time but I did it again thinking it might turn out different. Pretty sure that makes me insane. Like isn't the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over again hoping for a different result? Like I've done this so many times I can't even produce an accurate number. All I know is I've done this at least 30 times and each time I get slammed down it gets worse and worse to the point where I'm just angry at everyone and everything for no reason all the time. I have no motivation to do anything. And I just really hate myself. I haven't progressed to cutting but I have had some suicidal thoughts and an occasional urge to punch a mirror. I continue to hope that maybe just one day I'll just completely fade into nothing like I never existed so that way I don't have to live but at the same time no one like family members have to be sad because I never existed. They'd be blissfully unaware that anything changed and I'd just cease to exist. Is there a pill for that? I would like a pill for that. I occasionally come in here and see what new things you post, so... you at least have one occasional reader. As for the issue you were venting about... if you find yourself constantly doing the same thing over and over again, whatever that may be, and aren't happy with where it's taking you, then I would suggest taking a moment to look at what's going on. Determine why you keep falling into the same habit and what solutions are available to stop it. Things aren't going to change if you don't actively take the steps towards change. *shrugs*
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Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2014 1:09 pm
Prof. Moonie Classy Demon Empress I know this goes against my topic but I want to vent. And I feel the need to vent on my spam topic because I doubt many people read it. Anyways, I hate myself. I did it again and I hate myself for it. I know that this guy likes to pick me up when I need it only to slam me back down harder every time but I did it again thinking it might turn out different. Pretty sure that makes me insane. Like isn't the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over again hoping for a different result? Like I've done this so many times I can't even produce an accurate number. All I know is I've done this at least 30 times and each time I get slammed down it gets worse and worse to the point where I'm just angry at everyone and everything for no reason all the time. I have no motivation to do anything. And I just really hate myself. I haven't progressed to cutting but I have had some suicidal thoughts and an occasional urge to punch a mirror. I continue to hope that maybe just one day I'll just completely fade into nothing like I never existed so that way I don't have to live but at the same time no one like family members have to be sad because I never existed. They'd be blissfully unaware that anything changed and I'd just cease to exist. Is there a pill for that? I would like a pill for that. I occasionally come in here and see what new things you post, so... you at least have one occasional reader. As for the issue you were venting about... if you find yourself constantly doing the same thing over and over again, whatever that may be, and aren't happy with where it's taking you, then I would suggest taking a moment to look at what's going on. Determine why you keep falling into the same habit and what solutions are available to stop it. Things aren't going to change if you don't actively take the steps towards change. *shrugs* You continue to prove yourself to be of use to me, human. I feel as though I have said this before but I shall make sure to not kill you.
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Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2014 9:57 pm
Classy Demon Empress Prof. Moonie Classy Demon Empress I know this goes against my topic but I want to vent. And I feel the need to vent on my spam topic because I doubt many people read it. Anyways, I hate myself. I did it again and I hate myself for it. I know that this guy likes to pick me up when I need it only to slam me back down harder every time but I did it again thinking it might turn out different. Pretty sure that makes me insane. Like isn't the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over again hoping for a different result? Like I've done this so many times I can't even produce an accurate number. All I know is I've done this at least 30 times and each time I get slammed down it gets worse and worse to the point where I'm just angry at everyone and everything for no reason all the time. I have no motivation to do anything. And I just really hate myself. I haven't progressed to cutting but I have had some suicidal thoughts and an occasional urge to punch a mirror. I continue to hope that maybe just one day I'll just completely fade into nothing like I never existed so that way I don't have to live but at the same time no one like family members have to be sad because I never existed. They'd be blissfully unaware that anything changed and I'd just cease to exist. Is there a pill for that? I would like a pill for that. I occasionally come in here and see what new things you post, so... you at least have one occasional reader. As for the issue you were venting about... if you find yourself constantly doing the same thing over and over again, whatever that may be, and aren't happy with where it's taking you, then I would suggest taking a moment to look at what's going on. Determine why you keep falling into the same habit and what solutions are available to stop it. Things aren't going to change if you don't actively take the steps towards change. *shrugs* You continue to prove yourself to be of use to me, human. I feel as though I have said this before but I shall make sure to not kill you. Glad to have been helpful to you. 3nodding And that last part totally reminded me of this video. xd
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Posted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 10:31 am
Mua ha ha ha I have upgraded to Hell Hound now
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Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2014 6:19 pm
Ah yes even demons can look pretty and deceive you razz
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Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2014 10:45 pm
I really need to stop changing my avi so much. But I can't help it. I see something cool and I can afford it then I buy it. It's an addiction XD
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Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 11:31 am
Noooooo It's August already! The school year is almost upon us! Incoming more College classes, late night study sessions, and basically no life for this demon.
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Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2014 4:26 pm
I know it's a little early, but I've already started listening to halloween dupstep mixes XD...ah who am I kidding? It's never too early or too late for halloween!
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Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2014 4:28 pm
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Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2014 2:10 pm
Classy Demon Empress = Demon of Rave ^u^
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Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2014 2:12 pm
O no! All my gaia friends started school already! I don't start till Sept 3. What am I gonna do with my life until then? O I know I'll buy Oblivion and play it for countless hours! Great Idea, good job me!
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