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i'm speechless.

today kidna sucked we had an earth day celebration kiis fm was supposed to be here. but some idiots lit off 4 smoke balls in teh restroom causing everyone to leave the school for half an hour. my whole schedule was pushed back. during the extended lunch i could've finished my band finals. but it was shortened. i wasn't hungry at all. i found my friend beth and she gave a hug ( she's my enw huggle buddy lol X3) if she didn't hug me i would've went ballistic at the next event that occured when i went to meet my friend at her freshman group. and i happened to run into one of the freshman emos from mike's. this is what happened.


" shouldn't you be on amber's (mix group) group?" he said to me w/ his back turned.
"i can come here if i want right?"
"why don't you just go abck where you came from..." he said to me as a whisper with his back still turned.
"huh?" i asked him since i didn't hear it quite well.
"....."
"what was that? dude i'm right here"
"nvm!" he finally responded.

i turned to look at my friend christine to see her reaction to all this. she gave me the id/k movement. then i just waved to her and walked away.

lil sob freshman thinks he can put me in my place? and the nerve of him telling me to go back. he was probably kicked out of mike's group too. he probably only knows me by the rumors he's heard. lol next tuesday when school gets back i'm gonna go hang out w/ my friends freshman group. let's see how he likes it. mike told me over msn i can talk to catherine now eventhough he still doesn't like me. i don't care i'm not going abck tot hat group. it's caused me so much pain. i still talk to only 2 people out of that group. vanessa and catherine. out of the friendships i had made b4 those 2 are out like 20. his group is getting bigger and it's now populating the entire area and some are spilling over to teh other groups i know nearby.

vanessa gave me good advice. never become fond of a group of anyone because it's highschool everyone is in it for themselves.

ya since i'm usually nice and change my style alot they think of me as someone who's gonna kill them.

that's the problem with joining groups. anyway, i'm one that at the first act of betrayal, i already don't trust the person at all. i'm sorry but IF u still trust him, i think u r acting foolishly, specially when u have this much "evidence" about him being an idiot who wishes to waste ur time by trying to make u miserable...sorry if that was too harsh, but i really believe that. setting that aside, i think u should make it crystal clear to him that u don't wish to 'know' of him anymore, without sounding rude, considering this vannesa girl is his gf and u r her friend, so obviously that might hurt her. but u should really try to ignore him, letting vannessa know the situation, of course.

Im not too happy about growing up, but i know what im in for. I'll not be in one group, rather be a small part of every group. By that way, i will always have a group to turn to... and with each group i become a part of, its a new group were id at least find one friend. See, when you're apart of many things, you learn alot more...but when youre a loner, to me... becoming a loner only makes you superior. When you are a loner, you become more independent, more observant, and even more knowledgeable. As a loner, i have observed human relations and actions of all that sort. I used that to my advantage... Sometimes, its best to be alone just for a small while, get to know whats really going on around you. Thats what i did. Now i can see when i can trust someone or not, just by looking at a person. It's just an idea. Personaly, id rather be a loner. Sometimes you've got to be sincere, sometimes youve got to kiss a**. But thats just me. Although for me , doing that helped me learn to see whose really trustworthy or not, and also has allowed me to gain dirt on them. I guess its a bit manipulative, but now, if they wanna start rumors on me, ive got about 10 million TRUE dirty facts about them...
Thats just my way i guess... neutral

i blocked his msn. if he send me email i'll delete it. if he wants tot alk to me. then he'll have to come up to my face in front of everyone and tell me. so that everyone can see who he really is.

he might hit me. but no one really does that nymore. if he challenges me i'll just say i can't too much to do. hell it's time for finals. that's much better than proving to be the man. w/ ur fists. he's a jr. and the rest of his group si liek him. emo, bit rascist. ( i kinda figured when there weren't any other races in that group. only like 1 very dark girl. the other mexican who was there when i was got kicked out too). and also they've all fialed like 1 or 2 of their classes.