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 Posted: Sat Jan 20, 2007 12:17 pm
You're right about the competitiveness. It always sucked. I thank God I was born just a twin (any more same age siblings would have driven certain family members to murder).
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Posted: Sat Jan 27, 2007 3:29 pm
Yeah...I can't imagine having a twin. Again, I say that.
So that one kid who put his balls in that one girl's face has always treated me and all my other "friends" in a nasty away. Nobody except for me seems to notice though...But he shoved me into a locker the other day, looked back, and started laughing. So I kicked him and left a mark...Accidentally left the mark. But I didn't mind leaving the mark.
Again I ask both of you, do you think I'm turning into a brat, or do you think it's fine he got what he deserved? I know I'm kinda asking the same thing, but I'm always afraid I'm gonna do something too wrong or bad...Er, you know what I mean.
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Posted: Sun Jan 28, 2007 12:31 am
I don't think I can say much on that. Did he put his hands on you or was it a shove?
You're not being a brat but you should be careful not to be quick to resort to physical means of pay back. It's not fun being suspended for a while because you got into a fight. It sends messages about you (some may be good but most are not). Also, people do fight back.
That kid could have chosen to fight you because you kicked him back. Depending on how things played out, including how he instigated the whole situation, there's a chance that a teacher or some other adult might have seen his side of the story.
What you did wasn't wrong but it wasn't exactly the right way to go about things either. I apologize if it sounds as if I'm sending mixed messages. sweatdrop
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Posted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 3:31 pm
Oh, no! Really, I hate liars. I want honest opinions, even if it's a little confusing. But yeah...I probably won't do that again. Thanks again for your opinion.
btw Precious L, I can't help but notice you haven't posted here in awhile...Whether you feel you want to come here or not, I'm not gonna turn all pissy about it. Just wanted to let you know you can come and complain here if you want. Err, do whatever you want. Don't take this comment the wrong way.
And I also wanted to say to both of you, well really anyone who posted in this thread, thanks. I don't care if you decide to never post here again, but just to know someone took the time to read all of that and post really means something, as corny as it sounds. I hate to be all "oh, woe is me" but again, just to know someone is making an effort to help makes me feel like maybe not everyone wants to throw me aside.
Oh, and you two know that you have the right to complain all you want here as well, right? It's not like this is some uber thread or anything, so it's not like there's any special rules to get all pissy about.
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Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 8:51 pm
My heart goes out to you. It seems to me that, fortunately, you are NOT doing what I did: Believing others who told me it was just a stage or teenager thing... that my depression wasn't real, or that I just wanted attention. If your depression really is a problem then ignoring it is the worst thing you can do. That's what I did and I became suicidal (but I'm better now, yay!).
Depression is a SERIOUS mental condition that effects every single little part of your life, which is why it needs to be taken care of. I didn't know how to tell my parents that I had a problem (telling them calmly and honestly didn't work) so I became antisocial, dark, moody, angry, sleep-deprived and lifeless to try to get the point across to them.
I just hope you don't have to go to those horrid extremes just to get the help you need.
Do you have a counselor at your school? I'm sure you don't want to talk to them, I didn't either. No one really does. But trust me, they are trained in what depression is and how it needs to be treated. They know what things you need to hear, what you need to know, what you need to strive for to get better. Please seek professional help, and your parents don't need to know you saw your counselor if you're afraid of them getting upset.
Remember that your feelings are REAL, VALID and IMPORTANT, just as you are. You have every right to be happy. These should be the funnest and happiest years of your life. Don't let this mental illness steal that from you.
Best wishes, darling. heart
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Posted: Wed Feb 07, 2007 8:41 am
Thank you. Sadly enough, I have already let myself become all those traits you just listed, and for awhile I too thought it was "just a teenager thing" for awhile too.
We do have a counselor at my school, but when I tried to talk about my problems, all she said was "it's okay to feel that way." Plus, my friend and I got into a nasty fight once, and she dragged the counselor into it. So...As paranoid as I sound, I know my counselor thinks I'm a jerk. With all of this, I just don't think she'd help much, and I don't want to get in her "depressed kid" type of program things, if you know what I mean.
And thanks again.
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Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 4:27 am
I know, I must sound like an idiot, with you already talking to me and all, but you're really helping me out and I want to help you out.
Okay, so just to make it clear I'm also 12 years old and going through a major depression I've had since I moved to where I live now, I moved here when I was 2 1/2... I've always been dark and withdrawn... and at least people realize your depressed... or do they think it's all an act? People around me think it's an act and completly ignore me, and I'm happy you have the guts to stand up for yourself as you posted earlier, because I'd give ANYTHING to be able to say something to another person or do something like that. I'm too nice though so that will never happen...
And therapists really suck, but then again what do I know? I had a therapist for about a year, and I don't open up for those people unless they pull me open with a crobar I swear. So all we did was talk, barely about my feelings... at the begining I had to take a depression test to see where I was and I lied to seem happier... still 92% depressed WITH the lying...
TO YOU anyway, I'm not very good at advice but I want you to know that people can and do understand what you are going through, and brother's are royal pains in the you-know-what so don't listen to them, it doesn't matter what they think of you. I'm not sure what all else to say, lol sweatdrop I already feel like an idiot for even trying to relate to you, your situation is MUCH more horrible than mine because you actually have problems. About the friends you have? I know what you mean, friends are jerks and they almost never listen to you... *sigh* what does another 12 year old depressed person say to another 12 year old depressed person? lol, I guess what I'm trying to say hun, is I'm ALWAYS here for you
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Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2007 4:29 pm
Stop that, you have problems too. (Don't take that the wrong way, I mean problems causing depression.)
And yeah...I still don't open up to what's really bugging me to therapists at all either, or even most of my friends, only the close ones...But sometimes not even them. And with everyone wondering if it's an act or not, I really don't know. Some know something's bothering me, and others don't.
But sheesh, you've been depressed since 2 1/2? Good God, I knew it was early, but not that early...I didn't even know people could be depressed at that age. Almost makes me jealous, you must be the most mature person living, haha. Or smarter, or something. Teehee, we're talking through this...xD
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Posted: Fri Feb 23, 2007 8:22 pm
Yea I know, lol. I don't really know what it was. I never really figured out I was depressed until recently when I tried to trace where my depression started... and the last time I actually ever felt happy was before I moved... but THIS thread is about your depression, not mine silly, lol
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Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2007 8:10 pm
It may be Darka's thread but that shouldn't stop you from talking if you want to.
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Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2007 5:42 pm
DarkLarka Okay, so I've been starting to get lonely lately...Now, I've been having severe depression for at least 2 years, probably more. But now it's hit me even more hard. I'm so lonely, and no, I didn't break up from any relationship. Yes, there were some people (musicians, actually) I looked up to for a long time, and then I became overly-obsessive and heard more about their personal lives. So, now I'm disappointed in them, and feel almost betrayed. I've been in love with music for as long as I can remember, and I'm ALWAYS up for listening to it. Same with poetry. But now, I don't feel like even doing either of those things. My parents are in the middle of a divorce, and it has been going on for 3 1/2 years now, but lawyers are stupid, so nothing has been done. I've been seeing a therapist for 3 1/2 years as well, and almost nothing has improved. Yes, I personally believe I have obsession issues, because I'm almost always obsessed about something, where my whole life will revolve around it, at least for awhile. It's mainly been after my parents have divorced though, to keep me mentally okay. (Even though when I DO have obsessions, I'm still as depressed as can be to the point where people thought I was on crack and/or emo) But now, I don't have any big obsessions. I find it's hard to live, because I obviously hardly get out much because of the fact that my parents literally have almost no money. Well, my mom has filed for bankruptcy, and my dad does nothing with the little amount of money he has except for spending it on his gf. We have so little money, that it isn't unusual for us to lose cable, gas, or even, like once, ALL water for a month! My brothers both think I am Emo and make fun of me alot. My DAD even calls me Emo! I ask them politely to stop, but they don't. They both think I'm crazy, and I feel like nobody understands me. There are so many things I hate about myself as it is, and my friends seem to be drifting away from me. I feel like I've been used, because I've done so much for them, yet they treat me horribly. They call me Emo, too, and get all pissed off at me when I'm depressed. Sometimes, I try to ask them for help, and they'll literally laugh and say "blahblahblah" or make some disgusting joke. Another thing I hate. They seem to only like me if I make disgusting jokes with them, which I feel horrible doing even though I did it for awhile. So I feel worse about myself. And it's all my fault, for everything. Then, the only person who I think understands me, is someone over the internet who is almost trying to make themselves appear like a stalker. And I still talk to him. I guess it's just cause I feel so good when I pretend I'm talking to an actual guy. So, I feel incredibly lonely, like I have no purpose, no ambitions, and no friends anymore. I literally feel like I've been left alone in the world, and everyone has left and betrayed me. I guess there's a lot more, but I don't feel like explaining it, and I think I've explained most of my main problems. I hate it because I know they aren't that bad at all, but I let myself get so down about it and I've tried everything to stay happy. And then, this is the worst part... I'm a freaking twelves year old. Yes, 12 years old, and I got depression when I was 10. So, everyone thinks I'm just a poser, and nobody believes me at all. It's hard to describe all of this, and it's okay if you don't believe me. Hardly anyone else does. And thanks whoever it is for actually taking the time to read this. PS: Sorry I haven't been on here much lately. first of all, you can add me and Pm me ANYTIME about ANYTHING and i can promise you that i will respond back and try to help or console you if you really need it. second, i may be new to the guild, but i've gone through my own depression...and still fight with it sometimes. I'm not trying to say I know what you're going through, because I haven't been through that, but I know the feeling of abandonment and lonliness even when you're surrounded by a large group of 'close friends' I am not tryign to play the one each other up game where when you try to explain you're problems, the other person goes on and on about their junk or past experiences...i usually only mention my stuff when I think it may help, or if asked about it. right now, I don't really know what to tell you, but I didn't want to just leave this topic without saying something...and if would like, add me and PM me and I can talk to you and be you're friend ^^ ninja sounds kind of stalker-ish, but I swear I'm not like that! so yeah, message if you need to^^ and that alos goes for just about anyone else 3nodding
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Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 1:31 pm
Thanks...To all of you. I really hope that Precious L doesn't think I hate her or anything just because all of these other people are coming...I still wish she would come here.
Oh, and new update. My dad was now beaten my mom, or so she claims. With the horrible black eye she has, I definitely believe her. I found out two days after and the first thing that happened after I walked out of my bedroom was hearing my brother tell me that my dad went to jail...I heard banging at 2 AM and wondered what it was. I found out the morning after.
Then literally about two minutes after hearing about it, my dad came back saying they set him free...For now. My parents are gonna have a trial about it all tomorrow, I can't wait to see what happens. -_-
My brothers don't believe my mom, of course, and my dad is trying to convince me it's not true. However, in case nobody (or him) have noticed, I don't believe him easily. And certainly now any trust that I had remaining for him has been lost.
That's it for now, I'll probably have more stuff to tell tomorrow. Or I may just edit this post, depends on if anyone replies by the time I can tell.
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Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 3:57 am
DarkLarka Thanks...To all of you. I really hope that Precious L doesn't think I hate her or anything just because all of these other people are coming...I still wish she would come here. Oh, and new update. My dad was now beaten my mom, or so she claims. With the horrible black eye she has, I definitely believe her. I found out two days after and the first thing that happened after I walked out of my bedroom was hearing my brother tell me that my dad went to jail...I heard banging at 2 AM and wondered what it was. I found out the morning after. Then literally about two minutes after hearing about it, my dad came back saying they set him free...For now. My parents are gonna have a trial about it all tomorrow, I can't wait to see what happens. -_- My brothers don't believe my mom, of course, and my dad is trying to convince me it's not true. However, in case nobody (or him) have noticed, I don't believe him easily. And certainly now any trust that I had remaining for him has been lost. That's it for now, I'll probably have more stuff to tell tomorrow. Or I may just edit this post, depends on if anyone replies by the time I can tell.
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Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 3:37 pm
Wow. I read all of that and was like, "Wow! Sorry to hear about that." I really wish that I could help you out, but man, I don't know. Are there any other relatives that can help you out? Have you tried talking to them about anything? Sometimes, psychologists cannot really help much because they are just on the outside looking in, you know? Are there any counselors that would be able to help you out? Heck, if you need me to help you, just send me a private message, and I can try to help you out. I will not judge you or anything. I promise.
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Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 3:55 pm
With that trial, we may never hear from you again. I hope we do.
Reading this whole thread, I am very confused. I also went through, am going through, depression. I could never figure out why. I saw a counselor, I talked to people about it; the only thing I could come up with is: "I am not happy so I must be sad, when i am happy, I will be sad again so why bother being happy." I feel very lucky, I have not gone through many of the things that you have all described, and for that I count myself blessed.
As I was saying at first, i am very confused about the causes, and results, of my own issues. But worse, I am also very confused about other people. It would be nice to understand, through your words.
Feel no guilt, for life. It is your own, your possesion, your choice. That choice, none can take away; it is the most powerful thing you have, the ability to choose. Use it wisely and well, with happiness as the goal.
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