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Self-Denial

I have had enough of self-denial

I am not the one on trial

Its society

I have had enough of this sobriety

I am going to break the chain

No need to explain

You have been applying the screw

And you always knew

That eventually I would crack

And start fighting back

I am starting a new page

The world is my stage

I am throwing away my black clothing

I no longer have a need for self-loathing

What did you expect?

I have regained my self-respect

Black Days

Darkness approaches

Once more I turn to melancholy

Turning in on myself

A period of introspection

Full of doubts

How will I find the light to guide me?

So long in the darkness

Isolated and alone

Time passes by

One empty day after another

Should I end it all?

Is that the only answer?

What happens if I do nothing?

A slow decline

Into middle age and still further on

Into old age

Still nothing has been achieved

A few small successes along the way

But is that enough to save me?

Will God reject my soul as empty and shallow?

Will I be handed to the Devil to hang from the gallows?

City of Dreams

There was a man of many great talents

A poet, an artist, an intellectual

He had read many books

And was certain of his superiority over others

He wrote many great pieces of verse

And fabulous paintings

That inspired all of his peers

There was a great output of inspirational poetry

And paintings of vivid colours and meanings

The city was alive with excitement and activity

This great man of learning observed all around him

And became somewhat disenchanted

He posted a letter in the local newspaper

Accusing his contemporaries of copying his style

And of stealing his ideas

Many letters were posted in the newspaper in response

"We admired your work and felt the power of creativity"

"Why do you criticise us for trying to improve ourselves?"

The debate continued in the newspaper

But it became more and more vindictive

And helped to undermine the peace of the city

Everybody became disenchanted and they started to leave the city

A brief spell of brilliant creativity

Was followed by a gradual decline

The other artists found pastures new

And lived happy and prosperous lives

But the city died

Discarded Love

Bleak midwinter

And snow lies all around

My heart is cold and empty

And I long to walk on the hot sand

With the sun burning my body

And my love close at hand

Will you ever return?

Or will I always live in bleak midwinter

Send me word of where you are

Have you found a new love?

Have you moved on to someone new?

I am still in a frozen state

Stuck rigid where you left me

Unable to move on

One kiss would thaw my bones

One moment of bliss would unfreeze my toes

I would follow you to the ends of the earth

But my feet are frozen to the ground

And all around there is no sound

In this frozen wilderness

I will live forever

Suspended in time

A monument to discarded love

Death For Five Voices

Glorious music echoes around the cathedral

A sacred tune rises up to the roof

Such beautiful music fills my ears

This is the perfect way to end a life

Sense the exhilaration

And the feeling of relief

Time to put my troubles behind me

I am high up in the bell tower

Dressed in a black suit and black overcoat

Listening to the choir sing

A beautiful madrigal composed by Gesualdo

An Italian who knew what grief felt like

He killed his wife and her lover

And ended up in an asylum

Grief and torment on a colossal scale

And yet despite these restraints

This man wrote great music

Through rage and insanity

He achieved greatness

He was touched by the hand of God

And was inspired to compose wonderful music

I feel dizzy with excitement

I sense the fever of a possessed mind

The music lifts my spirit

As I soar into the air

My arms stretched out wide

My black overcoat floats on the breeze

And then I come crashing to the ground

By body convulses as I breathe my last breath

My dead body lies on the cathedral tiles

The music plays on and then suddenly ends

There are shouts and screams as the shock of death hits home

The blood oozes out into a red pool of death

I died with a spirit intoxicated with joy

Such a mixture of emotions - anger and rage

Mixed with a sense of wonder and excitement

Death can be a glorious affair

Some die in battle

Some die cold, fearful and alone

I chose my method and moment of death

A moment of exquisite pain mixed with pleasure

Such sweet, blissful music

The perfect spiritual backdrop to the passing of life

I hope my soul reaches heaven

And experiences such bliss once more

I hope my endeavours don't condemn me to hell

To be denied the pleasures of such music for evermore

Would be a sin so great as to torment my soul forever

(Title taken from TV documentary about Gesualdo by Werner Herzog)

A Moment of Tranquility and Enlightenment

He was an outsider

They called him a freak at school

But this didn't worry him

He had always been an outsider

Wrapped in a veil of darkness

His secrets lay hidden away

He played the guitar

He learnt a few chords

And started to write his own songs

He listened to Nightwish and Within Temptation

I felt a bond, kindred spirits

He welcomed the darkness into his soul

Soon he would try to find a place in the world

He attended a few gothic nightclubs

And made a few friends

They decided to form a band

Their following grew

They performed in small gigs around their hometown

And then further a field around the whole of Norway

Soon they were climbing the charts

Their album went to number one

They started to perform at large festivals

The fans could be counted in the hundreds of thousands

This child was lonely no more

A hundred thousand kindred spirits calling out his name

So many lonely souls looking for a guiding light

All united in a moment of tranquility and enlightenment

Crucifixion of an Angel

She remains defiant in the face of death

Nailed to the cross

Accused of treachery and witchcraft

She was only true to her soul

She had a taste for adventure

She could bewitch and beguile

She was fantastic company

A party animal who also had a sensitive side

She loved romantic trips to Paris and Rome

She liked expensive clothes

Her lovers would spend all their money on her

But that was enough to keep her close

She always felt the need to move

Always uncomfortable in one single place

A thirst for excitement which had to be quenched

Many of her partners became paupers

A few even took their lives

She was an explosive personality

Once you had spent an even in her company

Your life would never be the same

And now she has been judged by her former lovers

Found guilty of being a witch

An old crime in a modern setting

I kneel at her feet and beg her to forgive us all

"Your beauty corrupted our souls

Such beauty only belongs in heaven

Return to your eternal home

And forgive us for being mere mortals."