Syy was turned away from the two men, his back stiff, as Severin gave into whatever Honō was doing. Aika had risen to sit and was leaning into him, her nose coming into his palm and forcing it onto her head. He gave her a small, crooked smile and began scratching her behind her ears. Syy didn't respond immediately to Severin's words, those that were directed at him. He let Honō take the conversation, as it was about Honō that Severin had come. And, to be true, he had no real desire to engage in conversation with this man just yet. What could they talk about? He closed his eyes for a moment, feeling that sick anger bubbling under his surface at the thought of trying to talk to Severin about anything. But he opened his eyes, feeling a dampness that made him look up at the ceiling for a moment, and focused on the fur under his fingers and the weight against his thigh. It was not Severin's fault. It wasn't. He knew that. But he still felt anger. Perhaps it was misguided...after all, did it not take two to enga-
His gaze dropped back to level, his back teeth biting sharply into his tongue until he tasted iron. Syy's hand spasmed a little, a tiny motion, that he tried to hide by kneeling to rub Aika's chest "You're n-not intruding." his stammer wasn't that bad now, less so than before, but the iron from the blood made it thick. A full sentence. It was getting there. His voice was rough but not curt or cruel, just tired and pained from earlier "Tah-take your time." His voice was not cruel. But his mind was struggling to contain the rage that had been bottled up. Syy didn't want to follow that rage, he didn't want to feel it. He didn't want to feel anything at the moment and he certainly didn't want to show what he was feeling. Aika was enjoying the attention but her ruff was starting to fluff up as she felt his emotions spilling out. He paused in his petting of her and brought his hand over his face, rubbing harshly, before letting it fall down to her head. Gently, he pressed her ears back and then made a strange motion. He held his hand flat, palm down, then twisted it towards Honō and Severin but only pointed two fingers at them.
The signal! Aika licked Syy's face in excitement and went over to weave her way between Honō and Severin, clearly looking for attention. She came up to about each man's hips and her nose immediately set about sniffing at their cups and hands. Her tail was wagging and she panted a little in happiness at being given permission to meet a new friend. Syy had stood up after she walked away, his expression hard to read as he turned his head away to give the men privacy. Aika nibbled on Severin's sleeve and without even turning his head, Syy spoke "Aika is in-inviting you to e-eat with us as wuh-well." he rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand before slipping it in his pocket "If yuh-you are not b-busy." his voice was calm, level now, but he still was not facing or looking at the two men. Was it actually to give them privacy...or was it something else?
The medic let out a soft hum and shook his head, making sure to maintain eye contact with Hono. He knew how that felt, to feel like a burden, to feel like all you did was mess things up. His eyes were steady, but he tried his best to convey his thoughts through them. " No, that is all. And it wasn't your fault I worried, I'm just a "worrier"-- as a close friend of mine so lovingly put it." He huffed and then chuckled, almost forgetting for a moment the situation he had unknowingly placed himself in. He quickly got a reminder though, as Aika excitedly made her way in loops between him and Hono. His shoulders, which had began to relax, tensed up once more once Sypher spoke and invited him to join them.
His chest hurt. His heart hurt. This was the man he was hurting? The man who, for a brief moment in the cafe, he had wished had never returned? Surely Sypher wanted nothing to do with him, surely he was angry, surely he wanted him to go away... But here we was, inviting him to share a meal. Being the bigger man. All of a sudden, the Raigyo felt sick. His stomach lurched in his abdomen. His skin took on a pallor, a slight green tint. He recalled his attending's words--
"You are not the hero of this story, Severin. You are a weasel, a homewrecker... I see it, and everyone else in this hospital sees it too. You are a coward, a dog, and if my daughter ever has to deal with someone like you when she's older I'll kill him."
The medic hadn't realized he had stopped breathing, but he quietly sucked in air and swallowed past the knot in his throat. He didn't deserve this, he didn't...
With slow, purposeful movements, Severin placed his cup of tea down. He then turned once again to Syy. His eyes burned but he would not cry here. He didn't deserve that. "You are far too kind, Sypher." He couldn't stop the waver in his voice. Man up, dammit, he shouted at himself. You're not the injured party here, you're the intruder, you don't get to be sad. He forced a sad, small smile to his face. His eyes were weary.
"I..." He started, but his voice broke. He cleared his throat and tried again, looking away from the white haired man he had spent his entire life being compared to. "I appreciate the offer, but I'll have to decline. I don't think it's... wise. Thank you. I'll see myself out." Tense movements and long legs brought him quickly back to the doorframe where he paused for a moment, gripping the doorframe.
"I'm sorry... If I had known..." He stopped and restarted, refusing to play victim. "I told Inka I would respect both of your wishes, whatever way it landed. I don't want trouble, I don't want to hurt anyone. I just want Inka... happy. I want Minowa happy. If that means I'm removed from the picture, I accept that. If it's any consolation, part of me hopes he chooses you. He spent so long looking for you, he deserves that peace." He looked slightly over his shoulder at the Hokori male who no doubt would have started towards him, continuing, "Should you require any further medical treatment, do not hesitate to seek me out."
Severin let go of the door frame and started through the Academy, back to his empty office and the cold hospital.
▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅ ▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅ 「 C K R A : :x000 // 000 」tab「 S T M : :x000 // 000 」tab「 A C : :x000 」tab「 両 : :x0000 」 tab「 S E E : : Academic place 」tab「 H E A R : : Hono, Sypher 」tab「 F E E L : : Panicked, unsteady, guilty 」tab「 S T A T U S : : Healthy 」
Aika was not getting the attention she wanted. She literally had flopped into Honō and was desperately looking cute. If a 130+lb wolf-dog can look cute, which she can. But there was stress in the air, the movements of the other man, of Severin, sharply stressed in her eyes. She immediately sat up, a small whine as the need to comfort came over. But she heard Syy's name and looked between the two, wanting to do something but not sure what.
Syy felt very much like Aika. He heard the words "You are far too kind, Sypher" and it was like something in him was snapping. He wasn't kind. He had never had the luxury of being kind. Syy turned to look at Severin, seeing the man avoid his gaze even as he declined the offer. Fine. That was fine. It was a courtesy to offer, nothing more but...he was going to see himself out? His brow furrowed, he listened, bewildered and more emotions rising than he could possibly contain as Severin spoke and then made a parting remark to Honō. For a few seconds, he stood there, processing the words that Severin was saying. And the more he heard, the...angrier he became. Lifting the bento, he walked over to Honō and gently pushed it into his arms "C-can you hold this for a muh-moment?" his manner was dangerously calm. Like a storm over the ocean that seems far away but is right on top of the ship. His eyes were sharp as he turned and walked out of the room, following Severin.
Syy was quite big. He knew that. He also knew that the first night he had stayed with Inka, when the night terror had come for him, that he was a frightening figure to some. As he walked now, individuals parted before him. It made it easier to reach Severin "Our business is not finished." his words were low and his grip on Severin's elbow was strong but not intentionally harming. Even as he used his strength to spin the other man into the wall, he did not do so with any real aggression "You will listen to me." he said firmly, holding a hand up to Severin's throat but didn't touch him. His anger was intense, a rising darkness behind his eyes that was so dark it was bright. His neck was tight and it made it hard to speak. But he would try "You...are not in the wrong here." the words were...perhaps not what Severin would expect from Syy's body language. His hand trembled at Severin's throat but it was more, it seemed, that he was struggling with the words and wanted to forestall any interruption. He still had trouble speaking, the stammer worsening at times, so he was speaking as slowly and calmly as he could, even if it seemed menacing "This is not what either of us wanted. To be set against each other. Set against a stranger for no reason other than..." the last three fingers on his hand had curled, the first finger and thumb extended as if to give a lecture. In Sypher's life...a person often meant pain. Had meant pain. He had lost so much. More even than just the years. He hated that he struggled with his words. His emotions. He tried again again to speak "...We don't get to chose who we love. Or who loves us." he stepped away from Severin, hands falling back to his side as he locked his gaze with Severin's. So much pain and anger between the two of them. Both their past and the now "You have done nothing wrong. But if you wish to remain a stranger to me, that is your choice. Not mine." his expression was...simple. Exhausted. Broken. Tired of being consumed by emotions and unable to express them in even simple words. Why did no one stay? Why did everyone have to leave him? "You did nothing wrong."
He didn't expect Sypher to follow, he didn't expect confrontation. No one ever followed-- even Kagerou left him to his moments when he got like this. Not Sypher, though. When the Raigyo was pressed up against the wall, something far behind his crystaline eyes glowed with a dull pink light. His body was tensed, he was ready for a fight. But.. the fight didn't come. Instead he was given a gift he didn't even know he needed... someone understood. Someone finally understood. Finally.
Severin's lips parted with a soft gasp, the tears he was holding back finally rising to the surface. The dull pink light faded from the depths of his eyes as his doujutsu deactivated. He had never wanted this. Any of this. He just didn't want to be alone anymore. He wanted someone to love him, care about him. He wanted roots. Sypher released him and his shoulders slumped as the anticipation, the stress, the anguish left his body. Severin slowly leaned his head foreward till his forehead rested against Sypher's shoulder. Part of him faintly screamed that the man had an adversion to touch, but it was like all the strength had left him.
The first tears were heavy, hot; they scorched his cheeks like liquid metal. But they were a blissful release.
"I don't..." His words were soft and wavered with emotion. "I don't want to be alone anymore..." Alone at the hospital, alone at home, alone in the forest, alone alone alone. Not even the ghosts of his past to keep him company. Just silence and an half finished paintings and an empty apartment. Lunches, alone. Consults, alone. Nightmares and panic attacks and night sweats, alone. Kagerou was only one person, a busy person. She could only do so much. She could only sympathize so much. The male's shoulders trembled softly as he stood there. "I don't want us to be enemies. But I don't know how to do this... I don't know how to do this right so no one ends up hurt. I don't want to hurt anybody."
▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅ ▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅ 「 C K R A : :x000 // 000 」tab「 S T M : :x000 // 000 」tab「 A C : :x000 」tab「 両 : :x0000 」 tab「 S E E : : Academic place 」tab「 H E A R : : Hono, Sypher 」tab「 F E E L : : Panicked, unsteady, guilty 」tab「 S T A T U S : : Healthy 」
Honō felt like pattern in a crochet field - threads pulling and threatening to unravel his understanding, his grasp, on the situation. He didn't know the men well enough to understand their signals, the way their voices would shift and undulate under the touch of their own emotions, much less their reactions to outside intrusions. Get closer or give space? Apply a soft touch or a gentle whisper? Social courtesies or intimate familiarities. The Hari clan member could almost taste the residue of whatever was wounded between the two older men. The thickness in Sypher's voice like honey left out in a rainstorm. The wavering song of melancholy that not only danced Severin's words but his body as well.
Whatever taste had seeped into the cup of hot water cradled in Honō's hands went forgotten - perhaps not registered at all - the sensations and emotions swipping back and forth before the Hokori near overwhelming him with a whip-lash like efficiency. Still, there was a grounding line in something being understood. Having only met both men for the second time in this instance, there was little to grasp of either men in Honō's desire to support and supplement. But there was something. Whisper thin in a whirlwind. Seek me out.
"Severin," He speaks, slow but steady. Not questioning, never pushing, but a pale, slender hand reached out in offering while the other also moved to put down the cup of tea - the medic was walking away and Honō followed, keeping to the side to not block the line between the two men, to not show his interference but display his offering of distraction. Calm. Still. Oasis water in a sandstorm. No pity or worry. Smooth features of acceptance and openness.
Then Honō himself was distracted at the sudden weight upon his side, the sudden weight nearly sending his knee buckling. But after the surprised glance down to discovery the source of his unbalancing, he gives a warm smile and pats the side of Aika's flank before looking back up and - receiving a stack of bento's in his arms. Sharp eyes pinpointed at Honō but he knew they were not meant for the Kumo-nin. Precise. An instrument already knowing its purpose to surgically extricate something. Sypher felt purpose, just like a scalpel. Even if he didn't know exactly where the hand took him, or what organ he was slicing.
Seeing the larger male leave, following after Severin, Honō felt himself following, but stopped as soon as he started, looking down at the wolf-dog.
"Calm, girl." Honō spoke, one arm wrapped around the stack of bentos, holding them secure and close to his chest. He held out his free hand to let Aika sniff or nudge if she so desired. Either way, it was held out to hopefully transfer over his calm energy to the wolf-dog before the Hari clan member also moved to follow in Syy's and Severin's footsteps, locating them not far from doorway. Green eyes blinked, taking in the sight of Syy pinning the medic against a wall with a grip on the elbow and the Senju speaking low but direct. It may have appeared as though Severin was being threatened but... Syy may have had a similar purpose as the blade, but the end goal didn't feel aggressive. Pain was a definite side-effect. Honō has felt the pain of recovery. And this scene rang with those same bells.
Bentos still held with an arm curled around their girth, tucking them close to his chest, Honō walked forward with hushed steps. At the side of the two older men, the Hari clan member stood in a way that obscured any passers-by seeing Severin - at least from Honō's side - and reached out his free hand to thread his fingers through the medic's hair, attempting to convey he was standing by Severin's side willingly. That Severin's emotions were valid and Honō was choosing to sincerely listen. After a brief moment, Honō spoke up.
"My forge room would be more private if you'd like to continue speaking, or a moment to breathe." He offers calmly. "And I can spend my time researching in the library." The Hari adds, ensuring Severin had his choice of privacy just as the medic had respected and provided care in regards to Honō's.
tab 405/405ch tab 405/405st tab
具 ༔ Ａｃｔｉｏｎｓ
❖ Passives: tab【Ｆｅａｒｓ】 tabtabBroken Shards: failing to meet expectations. tabtabShattered: anxious and alert of surroundings, misreading words and reactions to negatively apply to him.
tab【Ｓｔｒｅｎｇｔｈｓ】 tabtabEnvironmental Lens: estimate the weaknesses and viable exploits in environment. tabtabSoldering Teammate: accurate in reading teammates intentions while supplying weapons, tripping up the opponent, or manipulating the environment
tab【Ｒｅｄｕｃｔｉｏｎｓ】
tabtab ▸ Ease of Burdens PA: -5 chakra or stamina for specific technique 'path' usage. [ Maruton ] tabtab ▸ -8 Glass-Blowing Job Reduction [ Grandmaster Glassblower Perk ] tabtab ▸ Location Perk : -1 Post reduction for all crafting missions tabtab ▸ Learn everything 2 posts faster. [ B-Rank Worker Class Perk ] tabtab ▸ -2 Tailor Job Reduction [ Apprentice Tailor Perk ]
❖ Missions: Title: Rank: Information: T Solo or Squad: Solo Minimum Posts: Note: Reward: tabExtra rewards if applicable Times Completed:
Total Reward: Location Note:
❖ Quotes:
astrasinthewild
Koresephone
Quote:
❖ Other: tab１．Tutor Coupon Uses Left : 08 tab２．Worker Class : accrue double Ryo for [B, A, S] crafting missions. tab３．/ [ ] Mission Coupons used, out of current total of nineteen [ 14 ] tab４． tab５．
装 : Thigh-length, white, cotton haori has its sleeve cuffs edged in a blue strip of cotton. The hakama is cotton as well, with a gradient dye, going, top-down, white to a matching blue. The string ties, or 'himo,' are strands of glass beads, clear in colour and translucent. A matching necklace of these beads is worn around the neck. Underneath the haori, held up by a belt disguised under the tie of the hakama, are several pouches and a blade that, in any normal person's hand, would be would be described as a short sword. The hilt was clearly carved by hand, made of bone, yellowed with age. The blade bore jagged edges on the backside ( a boning edge ) while the other was razor sharp, curved wickedly at the end to act as a gutter. Stamped in the centre of the blade was a bear's paw surrounded in strangely shaped leaves. Traditional tabi, are also worn, marking this individual more of a civilian than a Kumogakure shinobi.
動 : When conversing, their eyes rarely meet the other person's, instead respectfully resting just beneath them, usually on the cheek bones. The walk with a demure air, posture relaxed and steps quiet, as though not to disturb. The hands are often clasped in front of them, as a servant does.
Aika had bumped Honō's offered hand, taking from the calm emotion that he was giving off. Still, she couldn't shake the stress that was coming from the other two men and she had whined as Syy had left to go after the other man. As Honō left too, however, she decided enough was enough. Standing, she followed hot on his heels to find Syy and Severin in a heated exchange. Her instincts told her to do one thing and one thing only: comfort. Moving past Honō, Aika twined her way between Syy and Severin and pressed her weight into Syy while putting her head under Severin's loose hands. She didn't move, just stood in the middle of the storm like an island.
Syy waited, watching Severin's body language and features go from tense, on guard, fighting, to...He stiffened as Severin's forehead rested on his shoulder but did not push the man away. Yes. Syy disliked being touched. He had only memories of violence when it came to touch. Violence or intimacy, neither of which were normally appropriate. And only earlier that day, violence and intimacy had blended when Inka had reacted at the river side. A moment of softness and then hard violence. So no, Syy was not a person who accepted touch easily. But he could feel the weight Severin was holding. It was not so different from his own.
Severin's words were, of course, almost a mirror to Syy's own. But while he did not wish to be alone, Syy feared being left. Of losing those he loved. Losing everything. It was a different kind of misery but one that was shared between the two men. The fear of solitude, being left with only ones' self. The hot tears on Syy's shoulder sparked a reaction and his body, tensed at the physical sensation, relaxed just enough for him to wrap long fingers around Severin's wrist and hold it gently. He felt Aika press herself into him and glanced down to see her putting her head into Severin's other hand Good girl. Honō had joined them at some point as Severin spoke of not wanting to be enemies with Sypher. A surprising pang went through Syy at that, because he had not thought of Severin as an enemy. Even when Inka had confessed his flirtation, his attraction, to the other man, it had merely been sadness. That he had not been there to be what Inka had needed.
His other hand came up and rested on the side of Severin's neck, in the crook where his shoulder ended, fingers on the back of his neck and lightly brushing Honō's as the slender man sought to comfort Severin as well. Yes, privacy was probably a better decision in this moment but he would not manhandle Severin again. He did, however, have something to say about being enemies and not wanting to hurt anyone "Duh-do you always make mu-mountains of mow-mounds?" he quipped, his rough voice mildly scolding but still gentle enough to make his feelings clear. They were not enemies. If they were anything, it was rivals and Syy did not even consider them that. Rivalry requires some knowledge of the other and they knew, or at Syy knew, almost nothing of each other.
"Neither do I." he confessed. Pain was...getting hurt, it was what he knew. It was what the world was. His frame of reference for everything was that he could eventually be broken in some way. It was how his life had always been. Getting hurt and moving on. Being shattered and gathering the pieces up again. Forever struggling to keep those he loved and cared for close to him while living in terror that they would leave him. Syy could be alone. As long as he knew that those closest to him were still with him, he could be alone. But "Leh-let's start with n-not assuming we will hu-hurt anyone. Not meh-me. Not you." his words were soft, his voice losing the sharpness from the start of this confrontation "And go fruh-from there." he nodded to Honō, indicating he would like to go somewhere quieter. If Severin was willing.
'Do you always make mountains out of mounds?' Sev couldn't help the half-hearted snort that escaped him. That was pretty normal for him, yes. Severin let him enjoy the closeness to another person for a moment before pulling away and wiping his face. He took a healthy step back, hoping to give Sypher the space he was sure he craved. "Yeah... I guess I do."
Taking a deep breath, and heeding Hono's suggestion, he gestured with his hand for Hono to lead them. "You have a deal, Sypher. No more assuming." Cloudy, stormy blue eyes leveled with Syy's. Severin's face, dropped of his normal peaceful façade, showed it's true nature. Tired, overworked, overburdened. "I don't know about you two, but after all of that I'm pretty hungry... I'd... I'd like to accept that lunch offer, if it's still on the table. I'm free until the hospital calls me back."
Severin felt exhausted but... at peace. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad.
▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅ ▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅ 「 C K R A : :x000 // 000 」tab「 S T M : :x000 // 000 」tab「 A C : :x000 」tab「 両 : :x0000 」 tab「 S E E : : Academic place 」tab「 H E A R : : Hono, Sypher 」tab「 F E E L : : Exhausted, drained 」tab「 S T A T U S : : Healthy 」
As Sypher would run his hand over the back of the medic's neck, his and Honō's skin would brush. A light, fleeting touch that may have only been actively registered by the self conscious or sensitive. Despite how gentle the contact, the Kumo-nin's hand relented. As silk was at the mercy of the slightest breeze, Honō's hand moved as easily as the strands of hair he and the Mizukage were brushing through. Neither of the older men paid the Hokori any attention - a simple, accepted presence that did not stand out, intrude, nor give untoward influence. It felt like familiar, something Honō recognised as 'belonging.' And being signalled to show the older men to the room, Honō bowed his head, hands clasped in front of himself but still craddling the bento safely like a servant at a restaurant showing customers to their table. Back inside the room, the Hari clan member carefully places the stack of bentos down before turning to face the men again.
"I've promised to bring Sypher-san a drink. Would you like something else as well? Severin-san." Honō's words were unobtrusive and calm, match by the faint smile lifting the corners of his lips. For the two men's talk of 'hurting' each other and 'pain' Honō displayed no fear, no curiosity, no pity. Acceptance and openness, inviting the men to the privacy of a room Honō knew could be offered to them. "I may be a few minutes so please do not let me hold you up." He adds, stationed by the door, ready to fulfil any requests or preferences of drinks for either man.
tab 405/405ch tab 405/405st tab
具 ༔ Ａｃｔｉｏｎｓ
❖ Passives: tab【Ｆｅａｒｓ】 tabtabBroken Shards: failing to meet expectations. tabtabShattered: anxious and alert of surroundings, misreading words and reactions to negatively apply to him.
tab【Ｓｔｒｅｎｇｔｈｓ】 tabtabEnvironmental Lens: estimate the weaknesses and viable exploits in environment. tabtabSoldering Teammate: accurate in reading teammates intentions while supplying weapons, tripping up the opponent, or manipulating the environment
tab【Ｒｅｄｕｃｔｉｏｎｓ】
tabtab ▸ Ease of Burdens PA: -5 chakra or stamina for specific technique 'path' usage. [ Maruton ] tabtab ▸ -8 Glass-Blowing Job Reduction [ Grandmaster Glassblower Perk ] tabtab ▸ Location Perk : -1 Post reduction for all crafting missions tabtab ▸ Learn everything 2 posts faster. [ B-Rank Worker Class Perk ] tabtab ▸ -2 Tailor Job Reduction [ Apprentice Tailor Perk ]
❖ Missions: Title: Rank: Information: T Solo or Squad: Solo Minimum Posts: Note: Reward: tabExtra rewards if applicable Times Completed:
Total Reward: Location Note:
❖ Quotes:
astrasinthewild
Koresephone
Quote:
❖ Other: tab１．Tutor Coupon Uses Left : 08 tab２．Worker Class : accrue double Ryo for [B, A, S] crafting missions. tab３．/ [ ] Mission Coupons used, out of current total of nineteen [ 14 ] tab４． tab５．
装 : Thigh-length, white, cotton haori has its sleeve cuffs edged in a blue strip of cotton. The hakama is cotton as well, with a gradient dye, going, top-down, white to a matching blue. The string ties, or 'himo,' are strands of glass beads, clear in colour and translucent. A matching necklace of these beads is worn around the neck. Underneath the haori, held up by a belt disguised under the tie of the hakama, are several pouches and a blade that, in any normal person's hand, would be would be described as a short sword. The hilt was clearly carved by hand, made of bone, yellowed with age. The blade bore jagged edges on the backside ( a boning edge ) while the other was razor sharp, curved wickedly at the end to act as a gutter. Stamped in the centre of the blade was a bear's paw surrounded in strangely shaped leaves. Traditional tabi, are also worn, marking this individual more of a civilian than a Kumogakure shinobi.
動 : When conversing, their eyes rarely meet the other person's, instead respectfully resting just beneath them, usually on the cheek bones. The walk with a demure air, posture relaxed and steps quiet, as though not to disturb. The hands are often clasped in front of them, as a servant does.
Aika moved to stand with Honō once she was certain the tension and sadness was passing, though she kept her golden gaze on Syy. He didn't appear in any danger to himself but there was still a stiffness to his body that she didn't like. Perhaps it was the shared proximity of not just one but two individuals that had him on edge. Either way, Aika used her body to form a barrier as Honō walked to the other room, while also secretly hoping she would get more pets.
Severin's response to being overdramatic, both by the involuntary snort and then an actual verbal confirmation as the other man stepped back, gave Syy a brief chance to breath. It wasn't an obvious change in body language but the relief that briefly flitted across his face, almost overwhelming, was clear. He bobbed his head in agreement to Severin's words, though he had never really felt a fear that he would be hurt by the other man. In honesty, there were only two people in his life that could really, truly, hurt him. But Syy had a feeling that number would grow. And...that scared him. Green-gold eyes, emeralds set with gold, met and held the clouded sky of blue eyes. Standing for a moment, Syy considered the man in his honest nature, stripped of his attempts to be the bigger person or to hide his pain. ...will I ever...no. to even think of what he would be like without the violence that had molded him, the fears and obsessions, was impossible. And if he was to be the man that was remembered...he could never...
"It is an oh-open invitation. Anytuh-time." he said finally, his voice rough once more and he followed Honō, into the room as Aika returned to his side. The wolfdog pushed her nose into his hand as he sank down to sit, legs crossing as he rested on the floor. His response was not enigmatic or mysterious. Anytime Severin needed, Syy would make himself available, as much as he could. If it was lunch or tea, though he secretly hoped it would not be green tea, Syy was unbothered by the other man joining him when he wished. They were not, nor had they ever been, enemies. And he doubted they would be, though he did not know what they would be. Syy reached forward and took the bento from where it sat.
Aika was immediately attentive to Syy's actions and went over to sit, wagging her tail faster and faster as he undid the straps securing the bento levels together. The bottom top three, he put aside but the last two, he opened to reveal that four jumbo dumplings had been squished into each level. Aika's tail was going so fast it was a blur now and Syy carefully put each level to the side for her. Turning, he began opening the other three as Honō inquired about what Severin would like to drink. The first level had a half dozen dumplings, each still giving off a faint warm aroma of meat and vegetables. The second was all veggies, the smell making Syy's hand's tremble just a bit, but he set them beside the other level. The final he left closed, as it had desserts in it and would not be opened until they were finished. Belatedly, he realized he had not brought any chopsticks or utensils "Hoh-Honō-san? Could you bruh-bring something to eat them wh-with as well?"
Sev followed the two other men quietly as Hono lead them into his forge room. Severin was never usually an openly emotional person, but after years (and probably even more years) of holding everything in, eventually a person breaks. The anger that Severin had felt when he was lucid before had melted away, leaving him feeling guilty and scared. So much of Sev's life was unknown. His past, his future-- he lived at the mercy of life at the current. It was hard to keep calm when you didn't have any memories or coping skills. That was his biggest battle when he had awoken; finding a way to shove everything into a neat little box so he didn't explode into tears every time he passed an open flame.
For Sypher, however, the trauma was new. Severin had had two years to adapt to his, Sypher had had much less time.
Sitting near Syy, Severin looked briefly up at Hono near the door. A gentle smile graced his face. "Water would be fine for now, Hono. Thank you." He then turned back to the male across from him. What do you even say in situations like this? He was already so drained, emotionally, and didn't want every conversation he ever had with the Senju be about Inka. Would it even help to talk about Inka right now? Likely, no. So... "How have you... been?" Severin started, his tone a tad stiff. He had assumed, much like every time before, that there would be no relationship or connection between him and the "other guy".
Back in his early days of Konoha he had gotten with one of the surgeons at the hospital, who had sworn he was single but was very married. The whole situation ended with him getting slapped in the face by the man's wife in the reception area of the hospital... multiple times. No one ever believed him that he hadn't known. That he was innocent.
"I know things were very difficult for me." His face and tone softened a little as he continued. "No one realizes how hard it is to function and live with trauma until you have to. The nightmares. The fear. The alienism." The Raigyo hadn't reached for any food just yet, instead he had started fiddling with his fingers in his lap. Across the underside of his hand, several old and slightly faded burn marks could be seen. "You sort of... unravel. And it's hard to roll yourself back up like a spool of thread because the things that happened to you keep pulling on the end of the string."
▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅ ▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅ 「 C K R A : :x000 // 000 」tab「 S T M : :x000 // 000 」tab「 A C : :x000 」tab「 両 : :x0000 」 tab「 S E E : : Academic place 」tab「 H E A R : : Hono, Sypher 」tab「 F E E L : : Exhausted, drained 」tab「 S T A T U S : : Healthy 」
After receiving Sypher and Severin's requests for drinks and cutlery, Honō bowed and moved to exit the room as quietly and efficiently as any long-served attendant could; without fuss, nor rustling of his robes, head staying bowed and body somehow becoming smaller and even less noticeable. Before leaving, the Hokori would glance at Aika, holding the door open to see if the beautiful canine would like to join him or remain as the comforting source of heat and companionship as she has been previously. As soon as it was evident what she had decided, Honō would leave, gently closing the door behind him without any fuss or noise.
The Hari clan member had previously mentioned he may take a minute to bring the requested items back, deliberately so as to give the two older men some privacy as it was evident Honō was not part of their personal discussion and he had no intention of invading it. Calmly, unhurriedly, Honō made his way over to the small cafeteria to get some bottles of water, extra servings of finger food, and some packets of disposable cutlery. Looking at the collected goods in his hands, an unwitting tinge of sadness curled up on his face, pulling at the corners of his eyes and lips, colouring his eyes. After brushing a thumb over the corner of one container, Honō pulled the emotions back down.
tab 405/405ch tab 405/405st tab
具 ༔ Ａｃｔｉｏｎｓ
❖ Passives: tab【Ｆｅａｒｓ】 tabtabBroken Shards: failing to meet expectations. tabtabShattered: anxious and alert of surroundings, misreading words and reactions to negatively apply to him.
tab【Ｓｔｒｅｎｇｔｈｓ】 tabtabEnvironmental Lens: estimate the weaknesses and viable exploits in environment. tabtabSoldering Teammate: accurate in reading teammates intentions while supplying weapons, tripping up the opponent, or manipulating the environment
tab【Ｒｅｄｕｃｔｉｏｎｓ】
tabtab ▸ Ease of Burdens PA: -5 chakra or stamina for specific technique 'path' usage. [ Maruton ] tabtab ▸ -8 Glass-Blowing Job Reduction [ Grandmaster Glassblower Perk ] tabtab ▸ Location Perk : -1 Post reduction for all crafting missions tabtab ▸ Learn everything 2 posts faster. [ B-Rank Worker Class Perk ] tabtab ▸ -2 Tailor Job Reduction [ Apprentice Tailor Perk ]
❖ Missions: Title: Rank: Information: T Solo or Squad: Solo Minimum Posts: Note: Reward: tabExtra rewards if applicable Times Completed:
Total Reward: Location Note:
❖ Quotes:
astrasinthewild
Koresephone
Quote:
❖ Other: tab１．Tutor Coupon Uses Left : 08 tab２．Worker Class : accrue double Ryo for [B, A, S] crafting missions. tab３．/ [ ] Mission Coupons used, out of current total of nineteen [ 14 ] tab４． tab５．
装 : Thigh-length, white, cotton haori has its sleeve cuffs edged in a blue strip of cotton. The hakama is cotton as well, with a gradient dye, going, top-down, white to a matching blue. The string ties, or 'himo,' are strands of glass beads, clear in colour and translucent. A matching necklace of these beads is worn around the neck. Underneath the haori, held up by a belt disguised under the tie of the hakama, are several pouches and a blade that, in any normal person's hand, would be would be described as a short sword. The hilt was clearly carved by hand, made of bone, yellowed with age. The blade bore jagged edges on the backside ( a boning edge ) while the other was razor sharp, curved wickedly at the end to act as a gutter. Stamped in the centre of the blade was a bear's paw surrounded in strangely shaped leaves. Traditional tabi, are also worn, marking this individual more of a civilian than a Kumogakure shinobi.
動 : When conversing, their eyes rarely meet the other person's, instead respectfully resting just beneath them, usually on the cheek bones. The walk with a demure air, posture relaxed and steps quiet, as though not to disturb. The hands are often clasped in front of them, as a servant does.
Sypher was carefully arranging Aika's bentos as the wolf-dog waited impatiently. He used a finger to warn her that she needed to be mindful and not make a mess and then used his first two fingers to signal she could eat. Darting in, the wolf-dog's teeth flashed as she began to tear at the primarily meat dumplings. Aika was so absorbed in eating, she didn't notice Honō's gesture.
Settling back, Syy briefly tensed as Severin moved near him but it wasn't a reaction to the man himself. Rather, it was an ingrained fear reaction to something moving at the edge of his vision. He managed to squash it down though, as Severin spoke to Honō, leaning back against the wall. His gaze was somewhat distant, as if he was seeing something else. Whatever it was that he was thinking, however, was interrupted when Severin spoke to him
"How have you... been?"
He blinked at Severin, his expression indicating that he hadn't expected the question. He tried to think...had anyone asked him how he was doing before now? Taken the time to really just...see if he was okay? Maybe Shi but...he listened quietly to Severin's words, his own long fingers linking together as he rested his hands in his lap. So they shared not only features but a similar life as well. His eyes lingered on the faded burns and then his gaze moved to his legs, crossed in front of him. Beneath the loose pants and the body suit, the damage that had been to him as an orphan was as permanent a reminder of violence to him as the burns were to Severin. His shoulders and arms bore a different kind of burn, that of fractals and thin lines from lightning. Some of the scars on his arms were lighter, impossible to see, but deeper ones hinted from under the sleeves that ended at his shoulders. Still...both men would know that the true trauma was not just physical. It broke the mind as much as the body.
Functioning and living with trauma was the only way Syy had ever known how to live. That didn't make what Severin was saying any less applicable to the situation. In fact, it was more so than perhaps he realized. Once Severin had finished speaking, Syy was quiet for a long moment, clearly trying to gather the strength to speak. His fingers trembled and he tightened them until the knuckles went white "I-" the words stopped and Syy's expression grew frustrated, his teething coming to bite the corner of his lip. Taking a moment longer, he involuntarily pulled his legs up in a defensive posture, trying to shield himself with them "I don't knuh-know. How I am." the words were spoken slowly, fighting against the stutter that threatened to destroy his ability to speak. Syy's words came carefully, little slivers of vulnerability that he had not even shared with Inka..."I'm scared. All the time." the words were spoken softly but the pain and fear screamed.
"I lost...so much time. It was stolen. And nuh-now...it's-" a breath, desperate and stolen for a moment, "I'm trying to recreate a deh-dead man. Beh-because I'm not who...who I wuh-was anymore." his words hurt, his throat tight "And I duh-don't even knuh-know who...who I ha-have to be." a hand came up and ran through his hair, clenching tightly, as his expression wavered between terror and hysteria "I wake up and-and" the hand came down to his neck, fingers resting on the start of a ridge of scarring. No medical report could ever come close to the truth of what had been done to him "I'm scuh-scared that n-none of this is ruh-real." his voice was a broken whisper, his eyes tightening at the edges to keep himself from breaking "Th-that I'll wake up wuh-one day and I'll be...I'll be truh-trapped buh-back there." It was the first time Syy had spoken it aloud. That he hadn't just vanished from the village. Or that he'd left.
It was the first time he'd admitted it. That he had been... Syy felt sick. He closed his eyes, pressing the back of his hand to his eyes.
The Raigyo listened carefully, quietly, watching Sypher as emotions and fears played across his features echoed through his actions. Severin wanted to reach out and comfort the man opposite him, but he knew his actions might just make things worse. Trauma had many intense and intricate triggers. This was such a raw and visceral time, one of healing-- but healing never comes easy. Sev waited till Sypher was finished before speaking.
"You don't have to be anyone." The male paused for a moment, trying to pick his words a bit more carefully than he would have otherwise. "You're right. You're not who you used to be. These events... change us. Sometimes entirely. And although that's sad, it's not-... it doesn't have to be a bad thing." Frustration flashed across Severin's features for a moment. He wanted so badly to say the right thing here, but he felt like he wasn't. "I felt the same way when I awoke." The Raigyo's eyes flicked upwards for only a moment, then flittered back down to the floor.
"Our circumstances were different, but I spent much of my first weeks out of the hospital feeling like I was walking through a dream. Nothing feels real." Unlike Syy, Severin had spent weeks hoping that if he blinked he would return to his life before. That everything was a terrible nightmare, that he would remember who he was or where he came from. But no matter how many days passed, there was no relief. No change. His mind remained blank. It wasn't untill he had seen Inka for the first time at the exams that he began to truly remember.
Even now there were vast swaths of his memory that remained blank.
Severin fought the lump in his throat. He would not cry again. Though part of him was terrified to remember, to remember the pain he knew was there, he wanted to desperately to remember a time in which he belonged. Slowly reaching out for one of the bento boxes, Severin retrieved some of the food inside. His presence was a calm one, if not melancholy. "I can't speak for the terrors you have endured, the pain you have fought, or the sadness you have carried. But I hope you can find some comfort in the fact that you're not alone in your struggle. If you ever want to talk about it, I am here. Or.. if hearing about my struggle might help, that is an option as well."
▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅ ▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅ 「 C K R A : :x000 // 000 」tab「 S T M : :x000 // 000 」tab「 A C : :x000 」tab「 両 : :x0000 」 tab「 S E E : : Academic place 」tab「 H E A R : : Hono, Sypher 」tab「 F E E L : : Exhausted, drained 」tab「 S T A T U S : : Healthy 」
Whether it was due to being a little later in the lunch hour now, or Honō's luck was skewed, the Hokori clan member was able to acquire the extra food, drink, utensils, and return to the corridor leading to his work space far faster than he would have hoped. Wanting to give the two men some more time of privacy, Honō paused at the end of the corridor, taking a moment to ensure the items in his care were properly stacked and presentable, the disposable utensils protected from any moisture. Even such a mundane and casual task was carried out with shoulders back, head bowed, and fingers careful and reverent of the mission at hand.
tab 405/405ch tab 405/405st tab
具 ༔ Ａｃｔｉｏｎｓ
❖ Passives: tab【Ｆｅａｒｓ】 tabtabBroken Shards: failing to meet expectations. tabtabShattered: anxious and alert of surroundings, misreading words and reactions to negatively apply to him.
tab【Ｓｔｒｅｎｇｔｈｓ】 tabtabEnvironmental Lens: estimate the weaknesses and viable exploits in environment. tabtabSoldering Teammate: accurate in reading teammates intentions while supplying weapons, tripping up the opponent, or manipulating the environment
tab【Ｒｅｄｕｃｔｉｏｎｓ】
tabtab ▸ Ease of Burdens PA: -5 chakra or stamina for specific technique 'path' usage. [ Maruton ] tabtab ▸ -8 Glass-Blowing Job Reduction [ Grandmaster Glassblower Perk ] tabtab ▸ Location Perk : -1 Post reduction for all crafting missions tabtab ▸ Learn everything 2 posts faster. [ B-Rank Worker Class Perk ] tabtab ▸ -2 Tailor Job Reduction [ Apprentice Tailor Perk ]
❖ Missions: Title: Rank: Information: T Solo or Squad: Solo Minimum Posts: Note: Reward: tabExtra rewards if applicable Times Completed:
Total Reward: Location Note:
❖ Quotes:
astrasinthewild
Koresephone
Quote:
❖ Other: tab１．Tutor Coupon Uses Left : 08 tab２．Worker Class : accrue double Ryo for [B, A, S] crafting missions. tab３．/ [ ] Mission Coupons used, out of current total of nineteen [ 14 ] tab４． tab５．
装 : Thigh-length, white, cotton haori has its sleeve cuffs edged in a blue strip of cotton. The hakama is cotton as well, with a gradient dye, going, top-down, white to a matching blue. The string ties, or 'himo,' are strands of glass beads, clear in colour and translucent. A matching necklace of these beads is worn around the neck. Underneath the haori, held up by a belt disguised under the tie of the hakama, are several pouches and a blade that, in any normal person's hand, would be would be described as a short sword. The hilt was clearly carved by hand, made of bone, yellowed with age. The blade bore jagged edges on the backside ( a boning edge ) while the other was razor sharp, curved wickedly at the end to act as a gutter. Stamped in the centre of the blade was a bear's paw surrounded in strangely shaped leaves. Traditional tabi, are also worn, marking this individual more of a civilian than a Kumogakure shinobi.
動 : When conversing, their eyes rarely meet the other person's, instead respectfully resting just beneath them, usually on the cheek bones. The walk with a demure air, posture relaxed and steps quiet, as though not to disturb. The hands are often clasped in front of them, as a servant does.
Sypher's laugh, burst loose and then stifled, was more pain than mirth and it spoke volumes. His hand immediately covered his mouth as tears came to his eyes and he quickly looked away from Severin. The tips of ears were red, shame, and bright against his hair as he composed himself. Severin's words were kind and given with kind intentions. But...
"Perhaps I could have been no one if I was not who I was." the words came so slowly that the stutter could not break them. He turned and rested his chin on his knees, pulled up to his chest, and his gaze was unfocused "If I was...not-" none of it would make sense. Nothing he could say would be able to truly give the words he wanted to speak clarity. If he was not Sypher Senju, if he had not been this person, if he could have been anyone else...then maybe he could have been someone else. It wasn't that Severin's experience was wrong it was simply that they were two vastly different people, both before this and now. Syy's existence was itself an event that created motion. He could not go anywhere without being reminded of who he was or who he had been. Simply entering the village had alerted the world to his return and he had been forced to play the confident role of his former self. A shadow of it but still. But even that had eventually broken and now...
Syy felt like a child, standing inn the middle of three giants. All their shadows cast him into darkness and they were all him but not him. Of who he had been in Kumogakure, of the existence he had carved out for himself in Kirigakure, and, finally, of the crippled existence that he had been in the six years he had been imprisoned. And he did not know which was himself. Or whether he could leave those shadows to be something, someone, else. How did one describe the experience of being compared to yourself when you don't even know who that was? His hand came up and through his hair, fingers digging sharply at his scalp. The motion was immediately seen by Aika who abandoned her food. She approached, whining, and shoved her face between Syy and his arm, stopping him. His hands went to her and dug into her fur gently, pressing his face into her neck as her tail gently wagged.
He remained in that position for a time, Aika wagging her tail and sniffing at the air between himself and Severin with a happy air, before he carefully pushed her back to her food. Syy's hands went to his lap, concealing his thin fingertips that had tiny spots of blood from where he had gripped his scalp "I don't know...if I can be helped." he said finally. His smile was always crooked but this time it was broken by the weight of his life, his pain, his loss, all of it. His expression seemed to tremble before he brought himself back under control "...perhaps we should have asked if Honō had any alcohol." he said with a soft hint of humor, indicating he did not feel like he could handle this moment sober any longer.
