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Awww. Well have fun with the kid! smile

i've never been sexually or verbally abused, but i have gone trhu quite an ordeal with my father and mother. my dad got this weird illness around 8-9 years ago, when i was 11. we had a bike shop which he used to run, but after he got the strange illness, he couldn't manage anymore. said illness consists of a miz of symptoms from: alzheimer, something neurological, something psychological, premature crazyness [ok, i suck at translation of some words. word in spanish is 'demencia'], and premature depression. doctors can't say what he has, exactly, bcs he doens't have enough symptoms of ANY of the 5 things present in order to state 'he has this' or 'he has that'. he simply has a mix of all of it. all of that causes him constant memory loss. bcs of that, my parents were constantly fighting, and at said age [11] i had to try and manage the bike shop with my 10 year old sis and my 12 year old brother while my other brothers and mom came back form their jobs or colleges. after several years of constant fighting, my mom couldnt' stand my dad anymore, so he sent him to live with his parents in a diferent city [about 1hr away from us]. she even got to the point of changing the locks of the house so that if he came, he wuoldnt' be able to come inside. because of that, i've always felt teared apart between mother and father, kind of abandoned on the father part [since he wasn't allowed to drive and constantly needed to be wathed over after he got 'sick'] and it has never gotten "better". they are now divorced, he doesn't work [not allowed to] and i see him around 1 or twice a month...at best. after these almost 9 years i still can't get over it...i still can't let go....sometimes i get really angry at my dad, but what can he do? in the end, i haven't gotten over it, constantly cry over the same situation, and haven't found a way to manage, haven't found a way to help myself get over it except avoid all related thought as much as possible....but in doing so i avoid seeing my dad, and then i hate myself for not going to see him....so u see....not abused, but have gone trhu quite a bit with this s**t...

Well that doesn't seem like that was at all like a fun thing to deal with.
I'm sorry that those things have happened in your family and I surely hope that you find closure somehow.
Have you checked up on multiple sites and researched the disease? Maybe it will help you to understand it, thus making it possible for you to talk to your dad better. Does he have a computer at home? Maybe you two can talk through e-mail or instant messaging.

it doesn't have a name, so i can't research it. i can only research each disease form the mix, and that will simply be partially helpful since the docs don't say what he has. they don't know. the detect symptoms for different things, but never say a specific thing...he recently acquired a computer, but they don't have internet over there. when he calls i talk to him, and i do get happy....but i also get sad bcs i haven't gone to visit him. usually i avoid so bcs i'm scared of what he might ask, questions my mom tells me not to tell him, and then i feel bad bcs i'd b lying to my dad [note, always raised NOT TO LIE....sometimes i do, little white ones, but stuff like that....i could never]...and he still loves her, i notice. but it's clear she doesnt love him anymore, and that makes me feel bad bcs i think he feels rejected on her part, and abandoned on our part [since we don't visit very often]. that's right around the times i get mad at myself and sad bcs i'm not going to visit him [sometimes bcs of college work, others bcs i'm going out with my friends and bf]. any idea as to how i could work something out? totally open for suggestions at this point

it doesn't sound stupid at all. i see this as something rather serious. i understand it's be really hard [my family wasn't able to do it...we kinda refused and looked for an alternative, my dad living with his parents again [read above for better understanding]...but maybe ur mom should be hospitalized, or put into a home where they can care for her [that's what we decided NOT to do with my dad]. obviously her living with her parents doesn't seem like a wise choice, since she's threatening to kill them, but maybe ur family could try that. i understand it's something very big and very hard to do [after all, WE couldn't do it]....but maybe ur family could. it's just a suggestion, and maybe not the most helpful one...but somthing nonetheless....has she gone SOMEWHERE [doc, shrink, ANYTHING] that says she has this or that...maybe somthing suddenly happend in her brain and now her behavior's that one [it's what happened with my dad. one day he just startd forgetting things [memory loss] and when he got cheked, he'd had a small spill of blood, i think it was, in his brain that caused it and whatever else he's got]. so maybe u should force her to get checked [since u said u've tried b4]....other than that, it's understandable that u want to leave, and ur loyalty to ur sis and dad are admirable. i know it sounds cheesy and u r probably tired of hearing this, but never forget that after the rain comes the rainbow....i know i should apply that to my situation, and it IS true many times one questions that phrase bcs the "rainbow" is nowhere in sight, but after some time it should get better, no matter how long that time is [i know it can b LONG AS HELL...heck, 9 years and i'm still waiting for it to get better], but sometimes that's all one's got: hope. if not, just try and think of other things that make u feel better. while i'm not thinking about my s**t i can be REALLY happy, and i know the situation is still there, i know it hasn't been solved, and i know that ignoring it won't make it go away, but at least then, in those moments that i'm not thinking about it, i'm not simply sulking in misery. just drowning in self-pity and misery SUCKS!!!! so, like i said: yes, it'll still be there, no, it hasn't been solved, and no, ignoring it won't "magically"fix it...but at least then u can be happy, even if just for a moment.

Has he talked to anyone at this point about his illness.
Maybe you can just set time aside to ask him how he feels.
It sounds like he just needs someone to talk to about his emotions.

My story:
Someone within the time of first grade I was sexually abused by my brother.
I remember that day I had walked in on my mom and dad having intercourse. I ran and told my brother and sister. My sister didn't believe me, but my brother called me into his room and asked if I wanted to see what they were doing.
Supposedly I told mom what had happened when I was little, I vaguely remember a white place where I must've talked to someone. They took Josh too and maybe Brandi, I don't know, I thought it was a dream, but obviously not.
I never talked about it after then. Seems as how I didn't know I already had. I kept quiet until my freshmen year of highschool when I had a break down. I couldn't figured out someone as stupid as two plus two in the middle of a math test. My brain was as black as the night as far as seeing answers to anything went. I had a panic attack and the world practically disappeared in my mind.
I always had dream like states since kindergarden, but I didn't know what panic attacks were. My mom took me to a therapist. The therapist ended up telling me I talked too much. I never went again.
When my parents found out about everything (the sexual abuse is just one part, I'll get into the others in a minute or later) they acted like tey were walking on glass, I suppose they were.
I felt like an idiot so I shut down again.
I didn't talk again until 5 years later.
Now.
I've been trying to find a therapist, but not much luck.
The online support group and this med. that I just started is all that I have.
The med. helps just as much as the support group does, as a whole it's 100% help and seperate they are 50/50.
but I still need to talk to someone the fear, anger, and everything else are still there. The brother thing only happened once. I was in the 1st grade though.

Another part: My brother and sister are half blooded part of me.
They were always mean to me, my sister more so (aside from the previous description) than my brother.
She was always telling me how horrible I was and beating me down with words and her hands. He locked me in the closet with my brother one time for what felt like 30mins, and it probably was. I developed claustrophobia some time and she knew it when she sat on a clean trashcan outside and laughed while I screamed and clawed at the grass underneath so that I could see the daylight. My sister is nuts, she never loved anyone until they gave her anything. She spent her days hurting me, and she thought it was hillarious. One time she threw me against a wall (slung me across the kitchen) becuase I would clean up something that she broke. This kept on for 15 years.

And the story goes on: My granma likes money. So she would always talk about the people who didn't have it in a bad manner. She adores my cousins, Quinn and Cara. She was always talking about how they did this and that, the moment I told her I wanted to be a psychologist she told me I was "reaching for the stars." This isn't the only malicious thing she said to me, she said many more, I just don't remember them because I blocked them out. This lasted for 2 years.

I was always shunned in school, people would call me fat, call me stuck up and a b***h, etc. I've lived here my whole life and never had any friends. The second I went to college though I had many. The whole time I grew p here everyone rejected me. I never had much of a social life here. This lasted for 15 years.

I've developed panic attacks and severe anxiety and dream-like states, claustrophobia, severe depression, and my confidence can be very low. I'm trying to improve though. Dream-like states since kindergarden, severe anxiety/panic attacks and severe depression since freshmen year of highschool. 5 years ago.