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 Posted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 10:51 am
stranger with cookies I walk the crooked path Trying to contain my wrath Am I good or am i bad? i am really not sure A stranger in my own skin where does it end? Not a friend understands me They just want to just brand me Do not fit into there mold my soul it feels so old so i walk my path alone do not want to cry out on the phone No understanding has been shown Walk in a world of of people yet i stand as one Would like to be part of something Knowing that would be great But i walk alone unsure of my fate down down the path down i go past the oaks with there ancient knowing Keep walking head down staring at the ground Where the path ends i will find like a pact it surely binds left and right up and down twisting turning my stomach is a churning Is life a dream? something obscene am i in my bed? sleeping with my head Are dreams reality? and reality the dream? I question it all off the path i should fall to my death no more breath maybe life is a bad dream i just want to scream!!! awsome poem i would give it a 10/10 heart SO COOL!!! xd
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Posted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 11:09 am
shadowwolf23 stranger with cookies I walk the crooked path Trying to contain my wrath Am I good or am i bad? i am really not sure A stranger in my own skin where does it end? Not a friend understands me They just want to just brand me Do not fit into there mold my soul it feels so old so i walk my path alone do not want to cry out on the phone No understanding has been shown Walk in a world of of people yet i stand as one Would like to be part of something Knowing that would be great But i walk alone unsure of my fate down down the path down i go past the oaks with there ancient knowing Keep walking head down staring at the ground Where the path ends i will find like a pact it surely binds left and right up and down twisting turning my stomach is a churning Is life a dream? something obscene am i in my bed? sleeping with my head Are dreams reality? and reality the dream? I question it all off the path i should fall to my death no more breath maybe life is a bad dream i just want to scream!!! awsome poem i would give it a 10/10 heart SO COOL!!! xd Thank you! your kindness means allot to this wolf I really liked your poem too 10/10 biggrin
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Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 2:22 pm
This is one I never got around to naming and I did a LONG time ago--
Knife of remorse
Stab my bleeding heart
You can't see my tears anymore
The rain on Seattle streets
Tell me how long I have to stay
and tell me why I didn't know
until it was too late.
Emotional overload, held back tears
Won't wash away your memory
Over the years
Final goodbye's are too hard to say
I'll wish you good luck
And maybe a friend forever
Even if you don't see me as such.
Goodbye.
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Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 3:35 pm
10/10 (awesome job!)
Confusion
When anger hides behind attempting sweet goodnights
... how am I supposed to understand?
When I remind you of pain from the past
... how am I supposed to know?
When this impression you hold of me is so great
...how am I supposed to balance?
Fearing loss ... it feels so critical as you cringe
at my many imperfections
yet allow me not a bit of questioning, yours.
Have you thought, have you considered ...
how tightly you grip in your hands alone
the gears, the totality of control?
If I sat behind you with a smile
... would you feel it?
If I looked into your eyes with apology
... would you know it?
If I squeezed your hand with a question
... would you answer it?
If I cloaked my love with angry fear
... would you forgive it?
Riding faster ... and still faster
forces tears without consent
even though I sit tall,
and warmly hold the thrill
of this unwanted pedestal
without a hand toward control
soon ... sooner I will fall
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Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 3:45 pm
Kassassin Arionex
10/10 Your Poem...
Here is One Of Mine...
"Only Death & You (Armaggedon)"Imagine every city light turning off Watch as every sky night fades out Feel as every night light explodes off Listen to the people shout Laberynths of pain... Torture us Seas of blood... Drown me Tornado... A red bus Seth... A red tree of a broken leaf Imagine the city burning Watch the sky turn red Feel my heat running Listen to my heart turn dead Wake up... This is my dream A dream from which only death or you came to awake me This is my Armaggedon Only death or you... (c) Carlos J. Cintrón [Arionex] I thought that it was good, but I really didn't get the second stanza. Specifically, the second half of the second stanza. Other than that, it was pretty good. I'm not saying mine will be any better. Daddy's little Girl Daddy's Little Girl was so confused Why Mommy was all scarred and bruised. Late at night, she would sometimes cry Rythmically, softly, like a sad lullaby. Mommy, don't cry. Little Girl needs you To be strong, steady, and carry her through. Mommy, don't fall. Stand up firm and strong. Take Little Girl. Teach her right from wrong. Daddy's Little Girl was so confused When Mommy stood against the abuse. Shouting, violence, and physical force All came down to a messy divorce. Daddy, don't cry. Surely you knew better. Your family is tainted, corroded, and weathered. You beg and plead. You swear you'll change, But your thunder is muffled by all of your rain. Years go by. Mommy's doing alright. Got a new husband that Daddy doesn't like. He called Little Girl. Told her not to replace His "father" position with a new face. Daddy, don't try. Don't guide her with your hand. How can you be her father if you can't be a man? A father protects and doesn't leave his child alone. He is there for them and makes a house a home. Little Girl, don't cry. You are little no longer. Your memories have made you stronger. Take your new daddy. Trust him with your heart. He'll heal the family that was once torn apart. Daddy's Little Girl has a family that's complete. She found a new life that's happy and sweet. She no longer sobs with her body all curled. She was never really "Daddy's Little Girl." Wow, this touched me deep...sorry for not following the rules...but this poem deserves a grammy award!
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Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 3:59 pm
That was great 10/10. Here's mine.
Like Angels Falling
Like angels falling, it's sad to see,
What's happening, inside of me.
the past haunts my dreams, my decisions weren't the best.
I'm a victim of my own schemes, and I'm dying like the rest.
I can't control myself, from doing what is wrong,
And cause I listened to myself, my death won't be long.
I corrupted my own mind, and threw away my life,
I caused myself to go blind, from the depression and the strife.
Now I'm hurting in my heart, all I feel is pain,
I should have seen it from the start, that there's nothing there to gain.
As blood leaks down my face, I begin to realize,
That I'm losing the race, when I look into your eyes.
I threw us away, without a worry or a care,
And I've got nothing left to say, for this is my burden to bear.
The barrel's to my head, one thing remains to do,
I'm sorry for what I said, I did love you.
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Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 10:43 pm
Xavier Amoral Alexander Like Angels Falling Like angels falling, it's sad to see, What's happening, inside of me. the past haunts my dreams, my decisions weren't the best. I'm a victim of my own schemes, and I'm dying like the rest. I can't control myself, from doing what is wrong, And cause I listened to myself, my death won't be long. I corrupted my own mind, and threw away my life, I caused myself to go blind, from the depression and the strife. Now I'm hurting in my heart, all I feel is pain, I should have seen it from the start, that there's nothing there to gain. As blood leaks down my face, I begin to realize, That I'm losing the race, when I look into your eyes. I threw us away, without a worry or a care, And I've got nothing left to say, for this is my burden to bear. The barrel's to my head, one thing remains to do, I'm sorry for what I said, I did love you. 10/10 That was truly beautiful :3 Ok here is something that I found on a paper when I lifted the pen sweatdrop You SuckChaos Maybe I should start writing again But on the other hand maybe not It would help if you tried to talk My silence is soothing for beaten hearts You're always flirting with the enemy You're always on the wrong side Of bed when you wake up I can hear your morning tears Falling against the window Order A cup of jasmine tea You'll need it for the rest of your life Pay attention Sugar goes in and gunpowder comes out How very manly of you Kill or be killed Keep up the nice-robot-salesman-mask or they will hunt you down Tired I can't eat or sleep Why wont you scream out your dream?
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Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 11:55 pm
wow. thats pro.
9/10
Heres one of my favorite works
I wrote it after The September eleven attacks.
A bleak topic i know. But it roused my anger and i am at my poetry peak when i am infuriated.
The Little Boy
At nine-fifteen on a Sunny morning,
A Little Boy fell through the sky
It fell so quickly, gathering speed
Unseen to Hiroshima’s eye
As it hit the ground, as quick as a flash,
It engulfed the city with smoke
Many people that lived that city began to splutter and choke
And hundreds by hundreds bodies dropped to the ground
Like smoke blackened logs they fell
Only a handful of people survived, as you can only tell
The survivors wandered through the desolate land
The debris of the city
To see the destruction of such a great place
Was such an enormous pity.
People searched through the rubble, to locate their family, their calls echoed over the place
A mother searched for her two month old infant, a tear ran down her face.
People looked up at the now blackened sky
Some shook their fists, some asked why
And to this day, we remember them, the innocent people that perished,
Though their memory lives on in the hearts of their families. To be remembered and cherished.
By Brooke Newton copyright.
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Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 5:04 am
LittleTitch wow. thats pro.
9/10
Heres one of my favorite works
I wrote it after The September eleven attacks.
A bleak topic i know. But it roused my anger and i am at my poetry peak when i am infuriated.
The Little Boy
At nine-fifteen on a Sunny morning,
A Little Boy fell through the sky
It fell so quickly, gathering speed
Unseen to Hiroshima’s eye
As it hit the ground, as quick as a flash,
It engulfed the city with smoke
Many people that lived that city began to splutter and choke
And hundreds by hundreds bodies dropped to the ground
Like smoke blackened logs they fell
Only a handful of people survived, as you can only tell
The survivors wandered through the desolate land
The debris of the city
To see the destruction of such a great place
Was such an enormous pity.
People searched through the rubble, to locate their family, their calls echoed over the place
A mother searched for her two month old infant, a tear ran down her face.
People looked up at the now blackened sky
Some shook their fists, some asked why
And to this day, we remember them, the innocent people that perished,
Though their memory lives on in the hearts of their families. To be remembered and cherished.
By Brooke Newton copyright.
I like this, but it's a bit choppy at times to me so 9/10. I wrote this quite sometime ago when I was feeling a bit bitter. Please don't take offense to it as these are my feelings on the matter... The Bible Tucked away somewhere in my room Lies something I dare not return to I see it helping so many others But to me it is poison It has lied to me over and over Filling me with false hope and promise All those around me call it Holy They say it healed their soul They claim they are happier I can't be happy with an imaginary friend But these others they all seem to be They cling to their Bible Calling it the miracle of life All I think about when I see the Bible Is a book filled with lies
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Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 7:47 pm
I like your poem. I give it a 9/10
Question before I post.
Are all the poems posted here negative?
I didn't read them all, but a lot of them are.......whatever.“Starry Night”
The quiet village glows in the moonlight.
Quiet, peaceful, full of wonder for its protectors.
The stars, in their milky clusters, shine down on the village.
Sparkling like diamonds on the blue-black velvet sky.
The building looms in the dark threateningly, untouched by the happy light from the little beams of hope.
Some, brighter than the gleaming groups of friends, shine by themselves.
Relying on no one but themselves to make the village peaceful in the dark night. I wrote this in 6th grade for a poetry project. I'm in 11th now. It's supposed to explain Vincent van Goh's painting, Starry night.
If you like this and want to read more poems, visit my DA Account heart
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Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 8:55 pm
I thought of this one on my walk home from school today
I am walking home its raining
the drops hit my skin
i am thinking of a sin
my skin is all wet
but i shall not fret!
I love the rain!
It eases my pain
drowned in a million drops
pitter patter pitter patter
on the ground all around
They splatter
the girl I loved the most
our love all gone
its toast
to her friends she did boast
about how she made me suffer the most
like a fly she plucked my wings
the rain is now my buffer
pitter patter nothing now matters
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Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2007 2:52 pm
Why does death have to come and blindsight you?
Hit you so quickly you don't even know what to do.
Does your life flash before your eyes. Come with all the
suprise that you'll be on the this earth that one last time.
It's almost like after you full fill you purpose, your gone.
Like the world is a game and your only one poun.
In this big whole game of life. It's like were all being
played in the hands of christ. Someone who just deicieds
if you die or not, even if you tried even if you fought. Is it true
that you only got one shot. Is it true that things really happen for
a reson, or is someone tring to keep the light for some thing to
belive in.~Kiki~
Camryan
2001-2006
"R.I.P Little Angel"
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Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 1:06 am
Moon Lily Wolf Why does death have to come and blindsight you? Hit you so quickly you don't even know what to do. Does your life flash before your eyes. Come with all the suprise that you'll be on the this earth that one last time. It's almost like after you full fill you purpose, your gone. Like the world is a game and your only one poun. In this big whole game of life. It's like were all being played in the hands of christ. Someone who just deicieds if you die or not, even if you tried even if you fought. Is it true that you only got one shot. Is it true that things really happen for a reson, or is someone tring to keep the light for some thing to belive in.~Kiki~ Camryan 2001-2006 "R.I.P Little Angel" It was nice 8/10 This one I made for english so don't hate me... RemembranceI remember your face When I manically tore you apart I remember your screams Ringing in my ears I rememeber the stench of your blood Still on my fists I remember the taste of your love As I hatingly spat it back out I remember your face
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Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 9:08 pm
Sharima Kassassin I thought that it was good, but I really didn't get the second stanza. Specifically, the second half of the second stanza. Other than that, it was pretty good. I'm not saying mine will be any better. Daddy's little Girl Daddy's Little Girl was so confused Why Mommy was all scarred and bruised. Late at night, she would sometimes cry Rythmically, softly, like a sad lullaby. Mommy, don't cry. Little Girl needs you To be strong, steady, and carry her through. Mommy, don't fall. Stand up firm and strong. Take Little Girl. Teach her right from wrong. Daddy's Little Girl was so confused When Mommy stood against the abuse. Shouting, violence, and physical force All came down to a messy divorce. Daddy, don't cry. Surely you knew better. Your family is tainted, corroded, and weathered. You beg and plead. You swear you'll change, But your thunder is muffled by all of your rain. Years go by. Mommy's doing alright. Got a new husband that Daddy doesn't like. He called Little Girl. Told her not to replace His "father" position with a new face. Daddy, don't try. Don't guide her with your hand. How can you be her father if you can't be a man? A father protects and doesn't leave his child alone. He is there for them and makes a house a home. Little Girl, don't cry. You are little no longer. Your memories have made you stronger. Take your new daddy. Trust him with your heart. He'll heal the family that was once torn apart. Daddy's Little Girl has a family that's complete. She found a new life that's happy and sweet. She no longer sobs with her body all curled. She was never really "Daddy's Little Girl." Wow, this touched me deep...sorry for not following the rules...but this poem deserves a grammy award! Hey thanks! It's really my most personal poem I have. sweatdrop
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Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2007 4:18 am
Sharima Kassassin Arionex
10/10 Your Poem...
Here is One Of Mine...
"Only Death & You (Armaggedon)"Imagine every city light turning off Watch as every sky night fades out Feel as every night light explodes off Listen to the people shout Laberynths of pain... Torture us Seas of blood... Drown me Tornado... A red bus Seth... A red tree of a broken leaf Imagine the city burning Watch the sky turn red Feel my heat running Listen to my heart turn dead Wake up... This is my dream A dream from which only death or you came to awake me This is my Armaggedon Only death or you... (c) Carlos J. Cintrón [Arionex] I thought that it was good, but I really didn't get the second stanza. Specifically, the second half of the second stanza. Other than that, it was pretty good. I'm not saying mine will be any better. Daddy's little Girl Daddy's Little Girl was so confused Why Mommy was all scarred and bruised. Late at night, she would sometimes cry Rythmically, softly, like a sad lullaby. Mommy, don't cry. Little Girl needs you To be strong, steady, and carry her through. Mommy, don't fall. Stand up firm and strong. Take Little Girl. Teach her right from wrong. Daddy's Little Girl was so confused When Mommy stood against the abuse. Shouting, violence, and physical force All came down to a messy divorce. Daddy, don't cry. Surely you knew better. Your family is tainted, corroded, and weathered. You beg and plead. You swear you'll change, But your thunder is muffled by all of your rain. Years go by. Mommy's doing alright. Got a new husband that Daddy doesn't like. He called Little Girl. Told her not to replace His "father" position with a new face. Daddy, don't try. Don't guide her with your hand. How can you be her father if you can't be a man? A father protects and doesn't leave his child alone. He is there for them and makes a house a home. Little Girl, don't cry. You are little no longer. Your memories have made you stronger. Take your new daddy. Trust him with your heart. He'll heal the family that was once torn apart. Daddy's Little Girl has a family that's complete. She found a new life that's happy and sweet. She no longer sobs with her body all curled. She was never really "Daddy's Little Girl." Wow, this touched me deep...sorry for not following the rules...but this poem deserves a grammy award! You're not breaking any rules .. comments are good .. (As long as they're positive) wink
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