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Reply 44: Stairway to Poetry
blinded, unrest; please comment or suggest stuff...

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elilen

PostPosted: Sat Mar 31, 2007 3:27 am



BLINDED
We surround ourselves with lies
We blind ourselves with glory
But the truth persists, it haunts us
With the telling of its story
We see problems arise
War breaks out for stupid things
And yet we never stop to think
Of all the sorrow it brings

Tragedies encompass us
Around us death abounds
Yet we go on without a care
We hear not the sounds
Of babies wailing in the night
Abandoned, left for dead
Of mothers crying for lost young
Tear unceasingly shed

With leaden hearts we gaze upon
These unfolding scenes
We care not for what we see
All lost hopes and dreams
Hearts of stone with gold facades
Look what we have become
Reduced to living lives of lies
In the end, who will have won?



UNREST
Silent drops of sorrow
Of silvery hue
Fall unto a flower
Of deep ocean’s blue
Take the grief unspoken
The melancholy within
From the crack in perfection’s face
That wears ever thin

She who lives in the boughs
Of silver-tongued deception
Engulfed in the icy flames
Of shadowed misconception
Will solace for her thus be found?
In her chamber of lies upon lies
For guile, she is solely crowned
Stifled remains all screams and cries

PostPosted: Sat Mar 31, 2007 2:08 pm


Well...I have to say...I mean....WOW THAT WAS SOOOOO COOOOOOL AND SOOOOOO DEEEEPPP!! I have nothing to say that can improve your genius but you just made me think of something that cna improve my own poems. Have a rhyme sheme lol!! Thank you!! *bows down*

Chortleasd


elilen

PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2007 8:33 pm


ehehe.... thanks... that was the nicest thing anyone's ever said aout my poetry -sniff- (no, seriously, it is, thanks)
PostPosted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 3:34 am


elilen

UNREST
Silent drops of sorrow
Of silvery hue
Fall unto a flower
Of deep ocean’s blue
Take the grief unspoken
The melancholy within
From the crack in perfection’s face
That wears ever thin

She who lives in the boughs
Of silver-tongued deception
Engulfed in the icy flames
Of shadowed misconception
Will solace for her thus be found?
In her chamber of lies upon lies
For guile, she is solely crowned
Stifled remains all screams and cries



This made me cry. The only world to desrcibe this? Stunning.

Enraptured By The Sky


Viese Servatika

PostPosted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 4:15 am


That was absolutely amazing. I am just blown away. Very deep. Love it. biggrin
PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 3:46 am


thanks xd

elilen


Chortleasd

PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 4:19 pm


*still bowing*
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44: Stairway to Poetry

 
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