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Reply 44: Stairway to Poetry
Poem of mine

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shah_rukh_khan

PostPosted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 3:29 am


I'm really bad at poems but here's one I did that actually got published in a college journal of creative expressions, go figure. I've added a little color because, heck, I could.

The Flag of Courage

White with Pride
Red with Blood
Blue with Courage
Thirteen stars stood united
And won.

White with Pride
Red with Blood
Blue with Courage
Asian stars became feared
When a harbor was invaded.

White with Pride
Red with Blood
Blue with Courage
Fifty stars came under attack
As twin towers fell.

White with Pride
Red with Blood
Blue with Courage
Eastern Stars feel the heat
As neighbors weep.

White with Hatred
Red with Rage
Blue with Revenge
Stars turn on each other
And Feedom ends.

Fear the terrorists
Hunt them down
For when stars consume each other
Democracy ends.
PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 6:50 pm


I don't like the last stanza, but the rest is great. I like how you contrasted the words in the second-to-last stanza. It keeps the rhythm, but counters the mood.

Illaraenia


shah_rukh_khan

PostPosted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 2:18 am


Illaraenia
I don't like the last stanza, but the rest is great. I like how you contrasted the words in the second-to-last stanza. It keeps the rhythm, but counters the mood.


Your right that last stanza really sticks out worse then the rest of it doesn't it. How about if it just ends on the next-to-last stanza? It really doesn't have anything more to say anyway.
PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2007 3:42 pm


Hey! I really liked your poem! Actually, I think the end is pretty good (the last stanza). smile I don't know why, I just think it pulls it all together. smile Tell me what you think of mine....oooh and you like Shahrukh Khan? I LOVE HIM!!!!!!! heart *drool*

Sharima

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44: Stairway to Poetry

 
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