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 Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 5:55 am
for better understanding, here's a small insight: every night before hanging up the phone, my boyfriend and i have this...."tradition" [i guess is the easiest way to explain, tho it isn't reallly a tradition]...better say habit, of saying "i love you" to each other [b4 hanging up the phone, i mean]. here's the problem, tho: evry time we have the stupid arguments [small arguments, i mean], we still say it, tho it's usually he who says it first. i don't say it first, i simply reply to it, because those times in which we've fought, that nothing has been solved, i feel like a hypocrit if i say it. i mean, of course i still love him, mad or not, but because i'm mad i just want to let go of the phone, not talk to him, forget it ever happened [bcs i'm going straight to bed, i have classes early evry single day, and if i fall asleep mad i won't rest at all, and then i'll fall asleep in class, do bad in exams, and on goes the chain]. point being, even tho i DO reply to it, i do say 'i love u too', i feel lke a hypocrit. i almost do it against my wishes...is that normal? is it right? what can i do? help, plz and thank u crying
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Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 3:36 pm
Well, do you truly care about the person? If you haven't fought excessively, it's still fine. Many people (even married and what not, old age and stuff) do that still. A big fight, and then tell each other they love each other.
It depends on your outlook though. If you feel like you're doing it because you HAVE to do it, then yeah, you're a hypocrite. If you're still mad at him, you should instead say back, "You really mean it?" or something like that. If you say it because you WANT to, then that means you're willing to go on, despite the feud that just occurred.
Then again, you should probably take everything I say with a grain of salt as I've never been in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.
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Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 1:15 pm
alright. i've decided i'll go with the "ok, bye". bcs "u really mean it" seems a bit too moochy for me. but i'm not sure if the 'ok, bye' is too cold and harsh...opinions?
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Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 10:21 am
I don't think 'okay, bye' is cold and harsh. it depends on the tone you put up while saying it, really.
Also, when you always say "I love you", it loses it's meaning. And when you 'mirror' it back to the other, like saying it back, I think you're taking his moment, you know? Plus, saying it all teh time is soooo American. lol
Like. Picture the two of you laying in this big grass field having a picknick. And then he says "I love you." If you'd reply with "I love you too", you... Just... Like... Ruin the moment, I think. You should just give him a big kiss.
Did that sound harsh and cold? If it did, I apologize. I think it's hard to express myself completely in a foreign language. sweatdrop
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Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2007 8:32 am
i understand what u mean when u say it loses meaning. and i never knew saying it all the time was 'american' blaugh sounds funny. anyway, well, giving him a big kiss isn't exactly possible, since that's over the phone. and i don't really understand what u mean when u say it ruins the moment. it intrigues me. what did u mean by that?
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