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Reply 44: Stairway to Poetry
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The Star is Vain

PostPosted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 5:34 pm


Hello. I'm Evandre. I'm new here. Wanted to post a poem, and see what you all think. Please, don't just rate, actually give me criticism. I find it helpful. This one isn't very good, so I'm looking to improve it.

Regrets, Wrapped In Blue Lines

Are those the words I said to you that night?
I was too drunk on emotions to remember it -
At all.

In the prayers I sing to my stars, I said
If I'd been wiser, maybe I would've made a better choice.

You so sweetly sang your soliloquoys,
But those lies are over and done.
How can we be so happy the gods are smiling,
When the peasants are praying on the doorstep?
PostPosted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 5:52 pm


i really like the beginning....and im one thats all for like, sbstract deep stuff, but...i kinda dont get the rest of it..

katztears


The Star is Vain

PostPosted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 9:28 pm


Quote:
i really like the beginning....and im one thats all for like, sbstract deep stuff, but...i kinda dont get the rest of it..


If after more replies no one gets it I'll explain. :-
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44: Stairway to Poetry

 
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