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Reply 4: The Three R's, (Lit) RP, Reviews, & Reports (Debate/Essays/Creative Writing)
The Protector (I'll save ya) ...Please Coment

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SJ Flurry

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 10:19 am
The heartbeat within,

the truth,

the thing you hide from those around you,

your soul



Too afraid to let it show

to have it crushed

like so many times before

your sprit



You keep it hidden

hoping it won't be broken

wanting to protect it

your heart



Tears fall

as you run away from it all

the troubles, the problems

your life



But let me protect you

let me shield you from

rapid fire above

your protector



I'll be there

right beside you

I'll never leave

cause I'm your friend


I'll catch you

When you fall

I'll find you

when you lose your way


While I'm here

don't be afriad

because you know

I'll save ya  
PostPosted: Thu Feb 15, 2007 4:31 am
It's pretty good.. i like it but feel that you might need to put a little more emotional expression into it.. maybe thats just my bias because im so emotive.

Thanks for sharing though  

FlyfreeIzzie


muleacct09

PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 12:44 am
Not bad...

Please use a little of rhymes... There are some parts not good hearing  
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4: The Three R's, (Lit) RP, Reviews, & Reports (Debate/Essays/Creative Writing)

 
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