|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 2:32 pm
Stupid
Maybe I am stupid like they say
Maybe I am dull and dim-witted like they proclaim everyday...
I seem to mess up on everything. No matter what I do, they always think less of me. Nothing I say or do will change what they see in me...
Maybe I am an idiot like they sneer at me
Maybe I am a moron like they leer at me when I feel sad...
It's only me they say these things to so maybe its true. No one says that I'm smart, just stupid and tart like lemones. If they see me make a they just say, "There's another clue of why we don't like you"...
Maybe I am an unintellectual like I fear
Maybe I am a clutz because of how I cried my shameful tears last year...
There's always somthing with just me. I think I was born wrong since I don't know who to trust. They think so low of me because I was born from sinful lust...
Maybe I'm just stupid...
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 2:36 pm
Not bad. I liked it. biggrin
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Feb 06, 2007 3:30 am
I think this has a LOT of potential. However the rhythm is a little awkward for me: why don't you make a set rhythm, for example Iambic pentameter:
"Maybe I'm stupid like they alway's say,
Maybe dull-witted, they've said today..."
a rhythm change would totally revamp this poem, but in a good way methinks.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
