Strife Forgotten, a poem about betrayal | Page 1 | 44: Stairway to Poetry | Guild Forums

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44: Stairway to Poetry

Strife Forgotten, a poem about betrayal

Kirinkinetic Telepathetic

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Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 5:28 pm

what was in it for you?
what could you have gotten?
your sins are forgiven
but not forgotten

you beat me down
you sullied my name
I hate you so much
and I hate your d*mned game

you sucked me under
like a vampire's kiss
I know how you did it
how quaint that you finally left me like this

your soul is gone
your heart is rotten
your sins are forgiven
but not forgotten

~KMS

Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 4:03 pm

sounds very angry..
interesting imagry....

good job

FlyfreeIzzie

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Kirinkinetic Telepathetic

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Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 4:39 pm

true, it is angry. it's suppossed to be but you should read the one I did about my ex..that one was all talking about how pretty his eyes are and then in the last stanza it talks about how I want to pluck them out so he'll stop staring at me...yeah it was angry too

Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 7:27 pm

its good, i like the way it flows, but the last line of the third stanza could be shorter, other than that it sounds really good

WildCardJack

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Kirinkinetic Telepathetic

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Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 4:04 pm

I did that purposely. I like to make my poems somewhat dischordant so that you know they're mine. it's kinda meant to throw everyone off. don't ask why it's just how I am. besides I don't know exactly why either...

Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 3:28 am

I really enjoyed reading this poem. I think it delivers a unique yet common thought that people have when they're betrayed. You just have the right words for it. Excellent job! 4laugh

Sharima

Magical Girl

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44: Stairway to Poetry

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