Welcome to Gaia! ::

I once had a friend named Shammit and for about two and a half years after we met
we would talk online for a couple hours every night.
I told him everything,
he was the only person I felt comfortable opening up to.
Then about 7-8 months ago he flipped on me,
saying that I had to stop acting like we were best friends
'cause I hardly knew him and that I was getting "too close."
I tried to get him to just talk to me
and tell me if there was something wrong but he wouldn't.
I was devistated, it took all of my strength to keep from crying in front of my family.
The first few months after it happened
I kept trying to talk to him but he always refused to respond.
I kinda gave up after that.
I couldn't talk to anyone about it.
My friend Jessica said she was glad it happened,
she hated him.
He was always mean to her.
But he was never mean to me before.
She said not to worry about it 'cause he was an a**.
But she didn't understand,
he was the only person I could talk to,
losing his friendship made me feel empty.

Lately my memories of him have just been sitting in the back of my mind,
I haven't been thinking about him,
and I was happy not thinking about him,
forgetting that we ever met would've been so great.
But he was so important to me...

Well, today in Spanish class
David and Paige were fighting over what bands are best.
She mentioned Force the Fallen.
Out of all the conversations going on around me,
I just had to hear that.
I almost started cryng right there in the middle of class.
Shammit's brother is in Force the Fallen.
We used to talk about it sometimes.
And now I can't stop thinking about him again,
I miss being able to talk to him.
I told Jessica about it and she yelled at me
'cause I said that I wanted to try to be friends with him again.
I can't talk to her about him,
she just says the same old thing.
And I don't want to tell any of my other friends,
because he was sorta mean to all of them when we were friends.
I don't want to tell Andrew (my bf) 'cause I don't want him to worry
or think that I like Shammit as anything more than a friend.
I don't know what to do

I guess I don't really know what kind of advice I'm looking for.
I just needed to tell someone :/

i agree. after he did that, he doesn't really deserve the name "friend". what's more, i find kind of curious that u say hes the only one u can open up to...what about ur b/f? can't u open up to him? how long have u guys been together that u can't as easily open up to him?

Hmm, maybe I should try to just forget him.
It's hard, but I'll try...



Well we've only been going out for about 2 months,
at the time me and Shammit were friends, he was all I had.





When he did it, I didn't have a boyfriend.

But even if I did,
I doubt that would be what he was trying to do.
I did like him as more than a friend for a while,
but he didn't see me that way.
And he was very serious about a girl named Kiera.
They weren't going out,
but we always talked about her and such.

you met him onthe internet? Oh, just forget about him.

No, I met him at free skate in the town I'm from

very much lik me in several things, not alike in others. i used to be a closed person, as well. but it worked for me, opening up in some things. of course, i'm not telling u to tell him ur life's story overnight. but there are some things that u'll find little by little u will feel comfortable sharing. start off with those. like....ummm....."stupid" info that u don't usually say, but there isn't that big a deal as to why u don't share it. little by little, u can start opening up, and ventually u'll find it easier. of course, u'll also learn who to be open with, and who not to be open with. it's not evryone u can open up to. that why u should start with things that won't cause harm if they say them. of course, with that, u'll learn not to trust that person with more important and sensible info. and it's good that he's not the jelous type. very good, i'd say. more to the topic, however, if it's so hard to get the right timing, maybe u could try writting a letter. perhaps then he could read it and learn what is going on, and then reply, be it by talkng, or another letter. once u r done, u can always dispose of them, and that way no one should find out. as for the crying, i know this isn't what u were asking abouot, but i'll add it anyway: once in a while, it's ok to pick the ppl u can cry to. not evryone, of course, there's plenty of ppl who haven't seen me cry. actually, perhaps only a hand-ful, maybe half of that, is the ppl that HAVE seen me cry. i take good care of ppl not seeing. my point is, i too hide it, smile even when in great pain, and do my best to not show weakness. so, really, even if some don't believe me, i really do know the 'technics' and some reasons that might be why u do all of that, bcs i myself carry them out. anyway, my point is, crying isn't a weakness. it can be seen as one, but it isn't. by slowly sharing things with ppl, u will gradually find those with whom u feel more comfortable sharing ur tears with them. actually, that's another step [a major one] at opening up. it of course requires time, and gradual change, but it's good to find someone with whom u feel ok crying. i dunno about others, but i find great comfort in having someone hold me and hug me [i feel protected] while crying. perhaps eventually u'll give that a try. writting to get it out of ur system, tho, is also very good, and i encourage u to go on with that technique, too.

glad i've been helpful. i try my best to be so, bcs i know it can be hard asking for help, sometimes. so, i do what i can, in hopes it'll be useful. letters are rather common, when u get to it. it is most certainly easier to speak of things that way, i'd say bcs at the moment of writting, u rn't seeing the person's reaction, are not getting interrupted, and can be as open as possible bcs it's just u and the letter. so..i think that's why it's easier. hope evrything turns out well for u. 3nodding

That guy sounds lik an a** to me. The best thing you could do is forget him. I know you may not want to, but trust me, it's the best thing to do. (Is there an ehco in here?)
I was in the same situation a while ago with a guy at school. Eventually, he started being distant with me and then he abandoned me all together. I saw him once and smiled, hoping he'd smile back, but he didn't. He gave me a look that tald me he though I was lower than dirt. Lesson learned: he's a creep. I'm better off without him.
The same goes for you.