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Reply "ALI" Advice for Life Issues
depression

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WindAndFire

PostPosted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 7:34 pm


Ok so last year I started cutting because my dad got cancer (he's a lot better now tho) and I got really depressed. My parents found out about my cutting and now I have to see a counselor, but I'm still depressed. Now one of my close friends is getting depressed too and I hate for him to be that way, because he was the one who I cried my heart out to last year and he's always there for me. I want to help him but I don't know how because my own depression just makes me want to die anyway. How can I help him??
PostPosted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 7:55 am


Talking helps. Guilt trips work really well, like if you told him that he was your rock and you wou;dn't be able to stand it if he wasn't all there. That's what I did, and if anything, he's even more there for me now than he was then

ih8clowns

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Spikin

PostPosted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 7:37 pm


Eh....Find something you like and do it till you hate it. Or try and talk with your friend.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 18, 2006 9:28 am


Whenever I get depressed I always try and think of something that makes me feel better, or failing that makes others worse, I now it sounds callous but you might not feel so bad for yourself if you think about how much worse other are.

In teh long term though the best solution is too talk out your problems and find the root cause of the depression. I don't beleive in counselors, it's always better to try talking with family and friends who care for you rather that a stranger paid to care.

Velorius


Amaraleigh

PostPosted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 2:50 pm


I've been stricken with deppression too, Everything in my life is so confuseing, I can stand it.

What I do >Try to at least< Is get my mind off things at least an hour a day, by doing things I love to do. For me, Gaia, Guildwars, cartoons, ect.

It does help for at least a little while. It dosent work if your friend outs himself on you like Aaron did, though. crying

Good luck.
PostPosted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 8:31 am


Humm you could try a way of helping both of you guys so that you recover at the same time. Just go to a movie or talk about when you were kids (if you've known him for that long hehe sweatdrop ) and remember funny stuff about it. Or also you can rent a kickass comedy like "the wedding singer" and "can't hardly wait". they've worked for me wink

I remember I cut myself too a year ago and left some nasty scars on both wrists. My mother was very disappointed at me and because of that I decided not to do it anymore. I mean, she was the one who carried me for 9 months and I was decided to make that seem pointless!

cass769


aveura

PostPosted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 11:41 am


Ok first off cutting isn't good. You can hit a vain and bleed to death. I suffered from depression last year when I was 19 years old. My best friend committed suicide and I was sad, I cried everyday for almost a month. I was also depressed because I almost got cervical cancer which can kill any woman. So you see how depression can hit anyone of any age. I didn't cut myself but I did think horribly of myself. I saw a counselor too. I think you just need to find out a hobby to do when your feeling depressed so you don't feel that way anymore. Also your friend who is feeling that way, just be there for him. Take him out to a movie or take a walk. Do something that you both enjoy and keep your mind occupied. Watch funny movies not movies that are sad. ok? smile And if your into music, come up with songs to sing when your depressed. that always works for me. I'm sure that can work for both of you. Just remember you do have people around that care about both of you. Like your family and friends. So remember life gets better as you get older. Believe me. I'm 20 and still do suffer from depression at times when something bad happens. But instead of hurting myself I talk to someone close to me who can keep my mind off of my depression. So remember there is always something you can do to get back to being happy. So take your friend out and have fun. biggrin Depression sucks but I know you and your friend can make it better. I hope all goes well for you and your friend. Just dont leave his side, especially if he needs you or you need him. Good luck.
PostPosted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 7:38 pm


Just be a friend to him. Show him that you're there for him no matter what, and that you love him unconditionally. You may even want to tell his parents about how he's feeling so they know what's going on and they can get him help.

Depression is a tough road, but both of you can manage it. If it gets too servere, maybe you should go see a doctor and they may start you on Prozack or Zoloft. The medication is all trial-and-error, so it may take awhile for them to find something that helps you really well.

Also, don't keep secrets. If he tells you that he cut himself and he wants you not to say anything about it to anybody go tell his parents. Keeping things like that is one of the worse things you can do. And same with you. You don't ask him to keep secrets either.

Throw the blade away. It actually makes everything worse. Sure, it helps get your mind off the emotional pain, but later on the emotional pain will come back along with the pain of guilt, which will make everything worse. Both you and your friend should find healthy ways to deal with your depression. Like, talk to someone, journal, dancing, laughing, pillow fights.... There's a ton of things you can do to help you cope with depression that aren't self-mutilating.

If you need someone else to talk to, I'm here. 3nodding I've been going through depression for the past two years now. So, I know what it's like.

Happy Hardcore Kitten


Sotur

PostPosted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:44 pm


cutting isn't worth it. i know it brings mental relief bcs u focus on physical pain, not the mental one, but it's just not worth it. it only brings relief for a little bit, and leaves a scar, not to mention t's dangerous. exercising might help. and in moments of helping a friend, perhaps u can put ur own depression aside while u help him? i know i sounds crazy, but ive done it. i was depressed, and a friend of mine, was too. so i tried and forgot my own problms, and i was able to help him. afterwards he was able to help me
PostPosted: Sun Oct 29, 2006 12:07 am


Happy Hardcore Kitten
You may even want to tell his parents about how he's feeling so they know what's going on and they can get him help.

Also, don't keep secrets. If he tells you that he cut himself and he wants you not to say anything about it to anybody go tell his parents. Keeping things like that is one of the worse things you can do. And same with you. You don't ask him to keep secrets either.

Throw the blade away. It actually makes everything worse. Sure, it helps get your mind off the emotional pain, but later on the emotional pain will come back along with the pain of guilt, which will make everything worse. Both you and your friend should find healthy ways to deal with your depression. Like, talk to someone, journal, dancing, laughing, pillow fights.... There's a ton of things you can do to help you cope with depression that aren't self-mutilating.

If you need someone else to talk to, I'm here. 3nodding I've been going through depression for the past two years now. So, I know what it's like.


I know it's bad to keep secrets, but giving someone your trust and them ratting you out gets you off on the bad foot. I went to a school counselor last year and she said whatever I told her she wouldn't repeat and the first thing she did was call my parents. I hate that woman.
And the whole other forms of stress relief doesn't always work. Sometimes it does, but I still want to hurt myself. I don't know what to do. cry

WindAndFire


azazealfan330

PostPosted: Wed Jan 10, 2007 12:41 am


i have depression too alot,talking to people helps but not that much.Maybe you can try being there for each other because you know how each other feel.You could try and get him some help,but i think friends are better.I would just try and keep a watch on him if he doesn't want counseling.
PostPosted: Wed Jan 10, 2007 8:14 am


I have depression too, It is hard to deal with and sometimes my mood affects others but I find that all you need to do is put on a brave face. It is hard but it helps keep your friends from getting upset.
You see, the reason a friend could develop depression could be that it hurts for them to see you unhappy or seeing you unhappy and not being able to do anything makes them unhappy. You might also try confronting them about this, just to let them know that you appreciate them for trying.

Raven``


IKurando

PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 1:54 pm


Depression....yeah it's a pain in the butt. but you gotta get your mind off it, probly by doing something fun. I jus watched movies, or spent time thinking about it. figurin out what it was.

also, you might wanna find an outlet, like music, or finding something you can smack around(not your friends!) yeah, the guit trip might work, but it's risky, you might actually make the situation worse. I seriously recommend just sitting and thinking on it.
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"ALI" Advice for Life Issues

 
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