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What was meant to be a simple one time check in from afar had become a rather embarrassing habit, one the stallion hoped to keep under wraps. After having a particularly bad nightmare Akeldama found himself awake at sunrise..shaking off the scent of death & blood. It had never truly left him, those ghosts of the past always lingering waiting to attack when he was at his most vulnerable. Shifting to an upright position he gave Jezebel a careful nudge..pleased when the wolf continued to snore (loudly). At least today his nightmare had not awakened her or ruined her slumber. That meant Akel could also hide from the she wolf and sneak off to where the one he adored was most assuredly resting. Hopefully the dear little stallion hadn't wandered to a new area just yet! With that in mind he shook off the final dregs of sleep and began a quiet journey through the still slumbering forest, letting the soothing scent of fresh dew: scents of the present..to chase the scents of the past away. Wings tucking close to avoid unnecessary noise his pace slowed, breath evening out when he snuck a peek to where the pair /should/ be slumbering. It was never a guarantee, he'd been super careful to avoid detection. It's not like he was stalking Conall. Not at all! It just brought Akeldama an immense feeling of calm to catch the stallion sleeping..to watch in the afternoons when heand his darling familiar played together. When on one lucky morning he'd caught them both asleep and listened simply to the sound of their even breathing..hoping they had pleasant dreams. Perhaps today he'd also catch them asleep? Warm butterflies danced in his body..the smallest of smiles morphing his usual grumpy expression into something oh so soft. If only he'd seen the tree branches & paid better attention. As a loud snap rang through the otherwise quiet area his heart raced for a very different reason. Oh dear.

Akeldama felt his heart race even faster when only one of the two smaller beings awakened. At least Conall remined asleep but, he knew dear Cinnamon could awaken him oh so easily. Leaning down quite low to reach her he let his nose snuffle nd gently nudge the adorable creature, eyes half lidded as the same rare smile tugged at his lips. "Good morning..mm she's still sleeping. I didn't mean to wake you up.." Walling off as many emotions as possible his gaze flickered back to Conall..adoring the way those first rays of morning sun danced across him. Beautiful. Feeling his traitorous heart speeding up once more his focus again shifter down to dear Cinnamon, nosing against her again. "I'll be going back to Jezebel in a moment..maybe she will come play later?" Escape was the best plan.

Groaning internally while trying to not look completely alarmed or caught outwardly was much harder than expected. The past weeks watching the pair had made his heart even softer than it had been..it didn't help that Jezebel kept chipping away at his walls. Snorting lightly he tried to put the walls back but, they were so weak..and he was so tired. The nightmare came back a touch..his gaze becoming more serious. "Lurking?" Clearing his throat Akeldama tried to focus, why was the miniature stallion so /pretty/..so very handsome? It was distracting! "I..I have no idea what you mean." Before he could use Jezebel as an excuse to flee the she wolf popped her head out of a nearby bush, smiling sleepily at the trio. "Well well what have we here?"

Choking on air Akeldama kept his gaze away from the three, head becoming a bit twisted up. He had been so very careful! "I.." Swallowing thickly he let the smallest glare form when Jezebel had the gall to laugh out loud. "I told you he was clever! I missed you too Cinnamon, Akel was being so mean not letting me come out to play. Though he has been having a hard time so don't hold it against him hm?" Smiling more sweetly she let her eyes meet his, a touch of worry filling her voice. "Was it another nightmare?" Flushed in embarrassment and shame now Akeldama looked further away heart thudding loudly in his chest, that ache making him grimace. "I simply wanted to..to make sure you two were okay. That you hadn't..." Been harmed. It went unsaid..that same sad sharp pain making him grimace again, less hidden this time. "I..apologize..Jezebel told me I was being...creepy."

Cursing everything that he could mentally the stallion felt himself relax minutely when Conall was so close, the nightmares hold ebbing away ever so slightly. Enough that he could breathe. They weren't hurt. There wasn't any blood..they weren't on the battle field. Words took time to form, his mouth going absurdly dry. " I..no. The fault is my own.." Eyes focusing on a very very interesting blade of grass he spoke the same words he'd said to Jezebel..though this time there was no force behind them. More a quiet resignation. "I don't want to hurt you..I'm a monster." Minutely glad to have the words out in the open, he spared glance to Jezebel who looked so so sad. Then that fiery determination filled the she wolfs eyes. "I told you we aren't monsters! I hurt ponies too..I killed..am I bad?" Tears threatened to escape the wolf's eyes, her head turning to nuzzle into Cinnamon for comfort.

With each inhale Akeldama felt a bit of the pain recede..it became a dull throbbing instead of such a sharp stabbing pain. He found his nose nuzzling up against Conall's neck, listening to the steady beat of his heart. "Being a warrior is the reason I was born..my family only held hatred and wanted me to hate but...." Breathing in the groups scents made him feel so safe..his eyes falling closed, nose giving another firmer nudge into Conall's neck. "I would change it if I could..but, if I'd never done those things I wouldn't have met you. Meeting you is one of the few things that I could not ever regret or change." Heart racing at the admission he felt Jezebel relax, her body shuddering from the swell of emotion. "The nightmares just became too much for me..they twisted and I kept seeing you two hurt!" Voice breaking he felt a lone tear slip free.

For once he felt a sense of pure peace wash over him, even when a few more tears slipped free. The warmth he felt took over everything else, the word love making his body tremble. Love. How long had it been since he'd truly been loved by another? How long had it been since his heart had fluttered so freely..as if a million tiny butterflies would fly free if he dared utter a sound? "I..will always protect and love you.." Voice a bit rough he let his body sag further into the smaller stallion's warmth..this was home. This was where he belonged and Akeldama swore he would protect it with every fiber of his being. He'd not ever lose the ones he loved again.